Jake's story Part 1-3

Comments

Needs work or an editor to help

Title says it all. Many incorrect words or misspelled words throughout the story and needs idea or speaker separation by using more paragraphs.

good start

pretty good start :) as for pointing out mistakes... not gonna happen. I was always taught unless your willing to step up and help, just enjoy it :) (not excatly how grandpa put it, but somethings can't be shared) :P

I play online games *rolls eyes* yes I am one of those people :P
Fav puplished authors atm are Patricia Briggs (Mercy Thompson series),Carrie Vaughn (Kitty series), Kim Harrision.

Good story will look forward

nikkiparksy's picture

Good story will look forward too how thing's develop for the new girl from here on out:).

I fink it grate kayla

plase keip it goin.

LoL
Rita

Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)

LoL
Rita

Your story does not make very

Your story does not make very much sense if this company is doing this it is illegal and making the main character who hates trans people a real girl defeats the main purpose also it was to short and the protagonist would have been overwhelmed by the estrogen and cried