Kyle has purged and is trying to be "normal" - only to find it impossible. After two years of misery, his sister Christine dares him to put on their sister Taryn's dress. Can he resist (please stop laughing)? What happens to Kyle - and what does his mischievous sister have in store for him?

This time: Just how devious is Christine?

BUDDING LILLI - PART 2

Chapter 7 — Friday, May 14, 2010

I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, still clad only in lingerie and hose, searching my reflection for answers. Who was I kidding? I knew exactly why I was dressing as a girl again. I needed to. I had become moody, I was snappish with my sisters, I was somewhat distant from my few friends, and forbidding myself to dress as a girl has something to do with it. I didn’t know what or why; I just knew that after two years, refusing to dress as a girl was beginning to feel like refusing to breathe.

If my soul had a face it would be sickly blue right about now.

Resolving to go through with the dare, I put the slip on. Completing my outfit, I donned the lavender dress and white, leather flats.

“I’m back. Is Kyle still gussying up?” Christine’s voice wafted into the bathroom.

Taryn giggled at her — and at me.

“Yup. I’m sure he’ll be out in a minute.”

I smiled ruefully as I walked to the door and opened it an inch.

“Okay, I’m ready — but you two have to give me your word, right now, that you won’t tell anyone about this or I’m changing back!”

“You should have said that before you dressed up!” Christine giggled.

“Christine, don’t do that. We’re doing enough to him as it is,” Taryn mediated as they laughed at my expense.

“Okay, you’re right,” Christine cooperated.

“I give you my word that I won’t tell a soul, Kyle. Your turn, Christine.”

“I give you my word, too, Kyle. Come on out, cutie!”

The girls tittered at me as though they would never tire of it. I rolled my eyes at my deranged family and shyly emerged from the bathroom. I took a couple of steps out of the bathroom, stopping with my feet together, my hands clasped in front of me, my head tilted to one side and a nervous smile on my face.

“Well, d-do I look okay?” I stuttered.

It’s been a while since the last time.

“Yes! You look really pretty!” Christine gushed. “I knew you’d look great in that dress!”

“Thanks, Christine,” I smiled at the compliment.

“My God, Kyle! Christine is right! You make one hell of a pretty girl! It’s not just that the dress looks perfect on you, either. You have such soft features and . . . I mean . . . look at the way you’re standing, the way you’re holding your hands, the way you’re holding your head, and the way you’re smiling-”

“And blushing,” Christine added with a smirk.

“–and blushing. You look . . . so natural it’s almost . . . scary.”

I blushed at Taryn’s ebullient compliment, my eyes widening. I was thrilled, but . . .

“Really? Well, I, I know that’s a compliment, so thank you, but that’s . . . um . . . kind of disturbing.”

Wonderful, but disturbing.

Christine must not have thought so.

“Let’s give her a makeover!”

What? She never put makeup on me before!

“Her?” Taryn chortled at Christine, who rolled her eyes.

“Fine. Him,” she gave in.

“Well, the dare was to do this completely,” Taryn conceded.

“Whatever,” I shrugged.

At this point, I had gone far enough that makeup seemed like a small concession . . . until I saw my reflection made up with lipstick and mascara.

“Wow. That made a big difference! I really look like a girl now!” I pointed out, almost to myself.

Awww, I love the way I look! I want to cry I love it so much. That brought my train of thought to an abrupt stop. What? Wait a minute! Why the fuck do I want to cry right now? Why does dressing as a girl make me feel like this? Fuck, I need to figure this out, I really do!

“Yes, you do! Taryn, we have to do her nails!” Christine playfully begged.

“Yes, I guess we do,” Taryn slowly nodded as though she couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing.

“Whatever,” I shook my head as I chuckled.

“Come on, Taryn, we said completely like a girl!” Christine pushed.

“Yes, we sure did,” she agreed.

Taryn directed me to sit down at her desk, where she turned my nails a shade of lavender that roughly matched the dress.

“Ooh, that looks pretty!” Christine bubbled.

It does look pretty — really pretty!

Christine was clearly enjoying turning me into a girl. I had to admit, I was loving it myself.

“Taryn, can we put jewelry on her?”

“You’re right. She could use some. Let’s see . . .”

Taryn rummaged through her jewelry, eventually producing a thin silver chain with a flat, heart-shaped pendant on it. Once she put it around my neck she went back to retrieve a pair of small silver clip-on hoop earrings, which she put on me as well. To my right ring finger, she added a thin silver ring with tiny, colorless cubic zirconium crystals all the way around it. When she was done, she declared the jewelry complete.

“We need to do her hair!” Christine declared.

“Hmm, that would perfect the look, wouldn’t it?” Taryn agreed.

“Oh, if you insist. Just do it,” I pretended not to care.

They merely laughed at me.

Taryn brushed my hair for a minute, picked out a silver barrette and used it to pull half of my hair back. Once she had that portion of my hair securely clasped in the barrette, we returned to the mirror.

“Wow, this is really amazing. How can our brother look so good as a girl?” Taryn marveled.

“Hey!” Christine turned to me. “Kyle, you have to wear this for Halloween.”

I like that idea! It means being dressed as a girl in public, of course . . . but it will be Halloween. It’ll be okay.

“Well, we’ll see,” I hedged.

“Yeah, we’ll see . . . you in a dress again!”

Christine had all three of us laughing.

You just might, Christine.

I stared at myself in the mirror, turning this way and that. I caught myself smiling a bit too much and toned it down, hoping my sisters didn’t see it . . . but, I turned around just in time to catch my sisters exchanging glances. Damn!

“Okay, Kyle,” Taryn began, “you’ve fulfilled the dare, so you can change back now-”

“Wait a second! We went to all this trouble to make her pretty. Why ruin it so soon?” Christine interrupted.

Suddenly, her eyes twinkled.

“In fact, Kyle, I triple dare you to stay dressed as a girl until Mom gets home!”

We giggled at Christine again.

“Well, we need to be careful not to wrinkle that pretty dress, but if Kyle chooses to accept his next dare, we can replace the dress and slip with a skirt and top. It’s your call, Kyle. Are you taking the dare?”

“What is this, some kind of a reality TV show?” I blurted.

“They should make a show like that! I’d watch it all the time!” Christine giggled.

“I probably would too,” Taryn chuckled at her.

So would I, actually.

But Christine was apparently not finished having fun with me yet.

“Come on, Kyle! You’ve come too far to back out now!”
After giving it a moment’s thought, I shrugged awkwardly.

“Oh, all right. I’m already dressed as a girl. I guess it won’t hurt anything. I’m not afraid of a dare — but remember, you gave your word. No telling!”

“Yup. No telling!” Christine looked at Taryn. “Taryn, get the lady a skirt!”

Christine was a real laugh-a-minute.

“Alrighty then!” Taryn agreed.

She went to her closet and picked out a knee-length denim skirt and a red sweater with a V-neck. The sweater had a swatch of white fabric sewn across the bottom of the V-neck to give the look of a camisole edged with filigree lace being worn underneath it.

After I redressed we gathered in front of Taryn’s full-length mirror again.

“What do you think, Kyle?” Christine probed.

“Oh, I guess I’ll be comfortable enough in this for, what, a few hours?” I replied, turning to see Christine giggling.

Taryn glanced at her with a look of suspicion.

“Christine, what’s so funny? Uh oh!” Taryn put one hand on her head and rolled her eyes.

“What?” I froze, suddenly nervous.

Taryn crossed her arms as she playfully stared at Christine.

“When is Mom coming home?” She quietly demanded.

“Sunday night,” Christine laughed.

I looked at Christine with my eyes bugging out of my head.

“What?? Christine!” I whined as I spun around to face her.

“Come on, Christine, quit kidding around,” Taryn playfully warned, her arms still crossed.

It seemed that Christine couldn’t help laughing.

“I’m not kidding around. She won’t be back until Sunday night!”

“Oh my God! You’re serious, aren’t you?” I stared at my deviant little sister.

“I’m totally serious! Who do you think I was talking to on the phone while you were dolling yourself up in the bathroom?" she snickered. “I guess you’re staying a girl all weekend. Unless you’re afraid of a dare.”

I felt my soul fill up with a bizarre mixture of thrill and nausea as I thought about remaining a girl until Sunday night.

I was somewhat annoyed that Christine had issued a dare without telling me everything, but she had ultimately done me a favor. I really did need to dress as a girl and she had given me a chance to do that again.

“You two are going to keep your word, aren’t you? No telling anyone, right?” I eyed Christine for a long moment.

“Right. No telling,” Christine agreed.

“Yeah. We’re not telling anyone,” Taryn affirmed.

I let out a long sigh.

“All right; you win. I’ll take the dare.”

“Yay! I’m proud of you, Kyle!”

Christine gave me a hug and Taryn hugged me right after.

Gee, that’s kind of nice! They haven’t hugged me since I was six!

“Thanks, sisters!”

“You’re welcome, Kyle!” Christine smiled.

“Well, I don’t know about you two,” I stared at myself in the mirror, not paying attention to my own words, “but suddenly, I’m hungry!”

"Me, too. How about you, Christine?”

“Yeah, me three. Let’s go out for pizza!” She kidded.
I looked at Christine with horror.

“Oooooh, no! I’m not going out as a girl! No way, no how!”

“Christine, we’ve done enough to poor Kyle. Let’s have pizza here instead, okay?” Taryn negotiated.

“All right. Let’s eat here,” she acquiesced.

“That sounds good!” I added.

Chapter 8: Friday, May 14, 2010

“That was good!”

“Yeah, they never fail to deliver! Pun intended,”
Christine smirked as we chuckled at her silly joke.

We rose from the table and cleaned up the kitchen after our pizza feast.

“What do you want to do now?” Christine asked.

I looked at her intently as I pondered the motivation behind that question.

“Gee, Christine, I don’t know. Is there anything else you wanted to dare me to do?”

“Oh, Kyle, please don’t tempt her!” Taryn put one hand on her forehead.

Christine merely smiled.

“Don’t worry. You’re right. We’ve done enough. This time it’s just a suggestion.”

“Okay. Let’s hear it,” I smiled at Christine.

“Want to try on a few other clothes?”

“Well, I am already staying a girl until Sunday night. What difference does it make to try on a few things, right?”

“Right. Come on!” Christine beamed.

We went back up to Taryn’s room where we raided the clothes that were headed for Goodwill.

For the next two hours, we dressed me up in dresses, skirts, various tops, and even a few different colored pairs of tights. I loved every minute of it — though I hoped it wasn’t obvious. At the end of the night, we decided to change into our nightclothes before watching a movie. Since there were a couple of nightgowns that Taryn planned to give to Goodwill, I ended up wearing a pink nightie with tiny flowers on it.

When we sat down in front of the television, Christine had me sit down in front of a wing chair. She sat in the wing chair, doing my hair in a single braid behind my head. I enjoyed the treatment!

After the movie ended, taking with it one of the best days I ever had, we headed off to bed and I removed my makeup. I slept in the nightgown with my hair in the braid.

Chapter 9: Saturday, May 15, 2010

We had breakfast the next morning in our nightclothes. Our meal consisted of scrambled eggs and toast with apple butter. It turned out delicious. After we cleaned up, we went upstairs to get dressed.

Christine began thinking aloud before we reached the top of the stairs.

“We have to pick out something for our new sister to wear.”

“Yes, we do,” Taryn agreed.

“You should take a bath first, though, Kyle. It will make your skin soft. You’ll love it. Trust me!” Christine insisted.

“That’s a good idea! It’ll help to put you in a girly mindset for the day — oh, and Kyle, there’s some really nice lavender body wash in there. You should use it, okay?”

“Oh, joy,” I quipped, secretly eager to use the lavender body wash.

I headed for the tub and ran the bathwater. I used the body wash, which I loved. After I was done, I dared to take a few minutes to luxuriate in the tub. I began to think about the way I was enjoying my experimentation with femininity.

I love being dressed as a girl. It really feels so good inside, though I don’t really know why. I mean . . . being a girl should only feel good to a girl . . . but it sure feels good to me. Does that mean that I am a girl? I don’t think it necessarily does; at least, not on its own. But then again, being a boy sure as hell doesn’t work for me. All the guys at school think I’m a sissy wimp and I don’t understand them to save my life. I seem to understand girls okay, though — like when I overheard Susan talking to Cynthia at school.

I understood completely when Susan said that she was worried that her boyfriend didn’t love her anymore because he was acting funny and he wouldn’t tell her what was going on.

* * * * *

The conversation took place in front of a row full of ancient lockers the color of hot mustard. Susan’s locker was only about five feet away from mine. A couple of guys, Jake and Adam, had neighboring lockers about the same distance to Susan’s other side.

“I’m afraid he’s seeing someone else behind my back,” Susan wailed.

“Why, Susan? What’s been happening?” Cynthia put a gentle hand on her friend’s shoulder.

Susan quickly wiped away a tear.

“He’s been distant for like two weeks and he won’t tell me what’s wrong or what’s going on. He hasn’t been affectionate either. He hasn’t hugged me in ten days! I mean, sure, it would be one thing if we only saw each other once a week, but we see each other every day. Hell, we have four classes together!”

“Uh oh. That’s not good.”

Jake and Adam began laughing at poor Susan, who looked at them with annoyance.

“No, it’s not. I just hope he isn’t cheating on me - and I’m not accusing him of cheating on me, not yet. I’m just worried about it. I just don’t know why else he wouldn’t tell me what’s going on with him. He usually does — and he has never gone this long without at least giving me a quick hug or two.”

“Have you asked him if he’s cheating on you?”

“Not yet . . . but I’m about to do just that-”

Jake and Adam were still laughing at Susan. I couldn’t believe those two assholes! How could they laugh at Susan when her heart was breaking like that?

Susan finally snapped at them.

“What is your problem, you two? Do you think it’s funny when a guy treats his girlfriend this way?”

I certainly didn’t.

“Look, it’s nothing personal,” Jake insisted. “Guys just need some space sometimes. You girls just don’t understand. That’s all.”

“Yeah, well, people have feelings!” Susan fired right back. “When you close yourself off to someone you love, it hurts! You boys just don’t understand. That’s all!”

“Jesus Christ! Don’t be such a fucking nag, Susan. Shit, no wonder he’s not into you anymore,” Adam snorted.

“Fuck you!”

Susan slammed her locker and walked away in tears. Cynthia did her best to comfort her as they walked. Poor Susan! I totally felt for her. Those guys were being such insensitive pricks!

I glared at Jake and Adam, trying my best to conceal my contempt but not quite succeeding.

“What are you looking at, you little faggot?”

I’m looking at a couple of giant assholes.

“Nothing,” I replied.

I looked back at the girls. As I watched them walk down the hall, I realized that I had witnessed a classic boy versus girl tiff — and I had understood the girl, not the boy! It was the girl I wanted to defend!

* * * * *

Relaxing in the sudsy, sweet-smelling bath, I leaned my head back with my eyes closed as I digested my thoughts.

I really understand why Susan felt the way she did. Of course Susan was worried! If I were in a situation like hers, I would feel worried about my partner’s affections waning, too — but that’s just it. It’s always the girls I understand and never the boys. But how can that be? Am I just a nice guy who likes to dress as a girl? Then again, there’s a huge difference between being a nice guy and actually understanding Susan’s point of view - and I really understood her point of view, almost as though I were feeling her feelings. Maybe I really am a girl. God, I really need to know!

I heard a knock on the door just as I let out a deep sigh.

“Kyle, you need to get out of the tub before you turn into a big white raisin!” Christine giggled at her own humor.

“You’re probably right,” I chuckled. “Okay, here I come!”

I eased out of the bath, marveling at just how much I had enjoyed it as I opened up the drain. I took a minute to dry myself off with a fluffy, white towel before wrapping the towel around me as a girl would and heading for Taryn’s lilac room.

“I’m back!”

“Good. Let’s get you dressed!”

Taryn had picked out an outfit, which was now waiting on the bed for me. I liked what I saw. The burgundy knee-length corduroy skirt looked comfortable. It was a perfect match to the soft sweater with a scoop neck in shades of burgundy, gray and white. The pair of black, casual, leather flats that Taryn picked out were a great touch. As she rummaged in the Goodwill bag for underwear, I noticed that she pulled out a white bra and panty set . . . and another pair of white tights.

I could feel my anticipation building at the thought of dressing as a girl again. I knew I needed to keep my reaction to a minimum. All right, Kyle. Poker face!

“Tights again, huh?” I observed nonchalantly.

Christine and Taryn giggled at me.

“Yeah. If you’re okay with tights,” Christine answered, knowing perfectly well that I enjoyed wearing hose.

“Um, sure . . . I guess.”

Christine and Taryn exchanged glances right in front of me.

“What?”

“It’s really nothing, Kyle. I think we’re both just curious if you like tights,” Taryn admitted.

Christine just smiled at me knowingly, giggling at me while my mind worked.

Shit. How the hell am I supposed to answer that? Should I lie to my own sister or admit that I love wearing tights? Damn it!

“Well, they’re comfortable enough, I guess,” I hedged.

“Okay then. Your outfit for today is on the bed. Come back in here when you’re done getting dressed and I’ll redo your braid for you. Braids are pretty but sleeping in them can mess them up a little bit.”

I rolled my eyes as I shook my head in a good-natured way.

“Whatever.”

At that, I headed for my room to get dressed, grabbing the outfit along the way. I carefully closed my door behind me and put my outfit on the bed. I smiled at the pretty clothes I was about to put on. I got myself dressed quickly enough that I sat on my bed for a few minutes so my sisters wouldn’t wonder why I got dressed so fast.

As I passed the time, I looked around my room. The only color on my off-white walls came from the posters of rock groups. My navy comforter added a dab of color. The dark green futon chair lent its own touch of humanity. Yet, the room was still not very comfortable.

I grimaced as I realized that my room felt wrong. It might have been because I was dressed as a girl, but I found myself wishing to redecorate my room.

But redecorate it how? Like Taryn’s room, which is comfortable? Why the hell do I find her room more comfortable than mine anyway? Shit, I don’t know what I’m thinking anymore.

When enough time had passed, I walked back to Taryn’s room, where she refreshed my braid, as promised, and applied my makeup. Before long, she finished me off by adorning me with the same jewelry she’d picked out the previous night.

“You look pretty again, Kyle.”

“Oh. Thanks, Christine. Hey, um . . .”

Shit, do I really want to say this? Well . . . what can it hurt?

“What is it, Kyle?”

“Well, I was just . . . kind of thinking . . . I might want to . . . use a different name when I’m . . . dressed like this,” I stammered.

They exchanged glances again.

“Okay. Do you know what you’d like us to call you?”

Should I really say this? Yeah, I guess it’s okay.
They’re not laughing at me.

“I kind of like the name Lilli.”

“That’s a pretty name. That’s what Mom was going to name you if you were born a girl. I wonder why Mom didn’t name me Lilli when I was born. You came out a boy, after all!” Christine mock-pouted, eliciting a giggle from Taryn.

“Mom actually told me the reason once. When she was pregnant with Lilli, she felt that Lilli was a gentle soul because of the way she moved inside of Mom. There were no rough kicks or abrupt movements. She could feel you moving, but your moves were gentle. As for you, Christine, when Mom was pregnant with you, well, you were too feisty to be a Lilli.”

“Rats!” She continued her mock-pout for a couple of seconds before smiling brightly. “Just kidding. I love my name. So what do you want to do now? We’ve already tried on everything in the Goodwill bags.”

“Well, knowing Mom, she probably asked us to do some housework when she called,” Taryn supposed.

“Oh yeah. She did,” Christine admitted with chagrin.

“Yeah, she would. Anyway, let’s get that done now and we’ll have some more fun after lunch,” Taryn suggested.

“Come on.”

We spent the next couple of hours vacuuming, dusting, cleaning and emptying wastebaskets. I had not partaken of such activities before, but I found it unexpectedly satisfying to help out.

Chapter 10: Saturday, May 15, 2010

We had lunch at one o’clock, and as we ate, we talked about what we would do for the afternoon. Christine started a new ball rolling when she asked a seemingly innocent question. Perhaps more accurately, I did when I answered her.

“Do you like being a girl, Lilli?”

Uh oh. I need a neutral answer. Quick!

“Oh, well, I don’t know if I’m really being a girl just hanging around the house,” I tried before I abruptly froze.

Wrong answer! Shit! I know exactly how Christine’s going to respond to that!

Christine looked at Taryn for a moment.

“Well, you don’t have to stay in the house. I’m sure we could think of a safe enough way to take you out somewhere.”

Note to self: never talk without thinking! Damn it! I silently scolded myself as Taryn raised her eyebrows.

“What you do think, Lilli?”

I do want to go out somewhere but I don’t think I have the nerve. Besides, I don’t want them to think I like this too much — even if I really am a girl.

“Oh . . . w-well . . .”

“If anyone asks, you can just say that I dared you to,” Christine suggested with a plucky smile. “I’m not daring you to, just so you know, but you can still say that.”

“Um . . . w-well . . .”

“Although,” Christine smiled evilly, “I can dare you for real if it helps any!”

I shot her a look.

“Please don’t!” Taryn chuckled.

Asking Christine not to dare me only made her smile more. Forbid a teenager to do something . . .

“I dare you to take a walk with us while you’re still dressed as a girl!”

Aw, shit. I need to learn to turn down stupid dares!

“Lilli, you should only accept a dare if you’re really comfortable with it. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Taryn refereed.

“Wet blanket!” Christine stuck her tongue out at her.

"Quiet, you!" Taryn looked at her as though daring her to talk back again.

Do I want to? Well . . . yes. I do want to. I have fantasized about that, but I just don’t think that . . . but then again, I really do need to know . . . and this might really help.

“Lilli?” Taryn gently prodded, turning back to me.

“I’m thinking.”

“Well, I’ll tell you what, Lilli.” Christine was back in her persistent mode. “We don’t have to talk to anybody or go anyplace specific. We can just walk down the street a ways and walk back. We don’t have to stay out very long either.”

I really don’t know if I should. But I feel like I have to. How else am I ever going to figure out if I really am a girl? Besides, this time it’s a dare. I might never have that excuse again. I don’t get dared to walk around outside as a girl every day. This is the only time that’s ever happened to me. I doubt it will happen again. I have to do this. I really have to.

I swallowed.

“Okay. I’ve decided.”

I looked back and forth between my sisters.

“I’m going to do it.”

They cheered and hugged me again. I loved it when they did that!

“We can’t go anywhere, though. I can only get myself to do this if it’s just down the street and back.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do. Do you want to go now or wait for a bit?” Christine asked eagerly.

I thought for a moment.

“I should probably do it now before I change my mind.”

“Okay! Let's go!”

Christine sure seemed eager for this to happen! I was kind of excited, but I was more afraid. I wished that I could be as enthusiastic as she was.

Our afternoon plans decided, we cleaned up after our lunch. Taryn handed me a small, black purse and long, black coat that went with my outfit.

“There isn’t anything in the purse, but . . . you really do look better with it.”

I wondered about the purse, but if it was going to help me look normal then I was all for it! I accepted the purse and slipped the strap over my shoulder.

“Thanks. I guess I’ll put my wallet, cell phone and house keys in it.”

“Now you’re thinking like a girl!” Christine quipped, but stopped, wondering if she should have said that.

I really didn’t mind. I chuckled at her remark, hoping it would deliver the message.

“Thanks, I guess.”

“You’re welcome,” she uttered with hint of relief.

When I came back down the stairs after retrieving my cell phone, keys and wallet - just in case - we headed for the front door.

I took a deep breath and Taryn paused at the door.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

No, I am not sure about this at all, but I really need to know if I’m a girl!

“I’m as ready as I’m going to get. Let’s go.”

“All right,” Taryn smiled, opening the front door.

“We’re proud of you, Lilli! This takes courage!”

Christine reassured with a gentle shoulder rub.

“Yeah!” Taryn agreed.

I smiled warmly at my sisters.

“Thanks, you two.”

I felt myself step into a different world as I walked out the door. When Taryn locked the door behind us, I got a funny feeling that something within me was now locked into the past. We slowly turned and walked down the street.

My gait was as stiff as a two-by-four during the first few blocks of our walk. I did the best I could to be natural and I soon relaxed. It helped that we walked at a relaxed pace, bathed in warm sunlight beneath a bright, blue sky.

Taryn leaned close to whisper to me.

“Wow, Lilli, I don’t think we even need to tell you how to walk like a girl. Have you been practicing?”

I turned as red as the stop sign we were approaching.

“No, of course not.”

Christine giggled.

“Lilli always walked like that,” Christine giggled. “Haven’t you ever noticed, Taryn?”

I looked at Christine in surprise.

“I have? Really?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry; it’s okay.”

I began to relax as we bantered. A couple of times, we were passed by people walking the other way, including a boy who was somewhere around my age. He looked at me in a way I’ve never seen a boy look at me in my life! I turned around to see if he was still looking — and he was!

Wow. That was weird — like 'Twilight Zone' weird.

“I think he likes you!” Christine kidded me.

“Oh, please don’t!” I blurted.

“It’s only natural for a girl to want a boyfriend, you know!” She teased.

“I have a major crush on Mira. You know that!”

“I know.” Christine softened up. “I was only kidding.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Hey, Lilli,” Taryn changed the subject. “How come you call her Mira?”

“I don’t know. I think I started that accidentally,” I giggled, “and, well, she never corrected me, so . . . it just kind of stuck. Why do you ask?” I fingered my pendant unconsciously.

“No important reason. It’s just that everyone else I know calls her Miranda.”

“Really? I didn’t know that. I wonder why she lets me call her Mira?”

“I don’t know. That’s probably a good question,” Taryn smiled knowingly.

“Ooo! Ice cream!” Christine squealed.

I looked around to see what she was shrieking at and found that we were walking up to the local Ben & Jerry's.

Oh, God. Christine loves that place!

“Want to go in?” she smiled hopefully.

“It might be fun to stop in there. I could use a little ice cream. What do you think, Lilli?” Taryn checked.

I wasn’t entirely comfortable with the idea, but thus far, I hadn’t experienced life as a girl except for the few people that passed us going the other way. I decided that I still didn’t know how it felt to really be a girl. I glanced inside the ice cream parlor and saw only three other people. Maybe the poor owners could use the business.

Gawd, I don’t know if I should do this. On the other hand, when is this going to happen again? What if this is my only chance? I need to fucking figure myself out! Anyway, if I don’t do this, then what the hell was the point of leaving the house as a girl?

“Let’s go in,” I decided.

“I’m impressed, Lilli!” Christine grinned at me.

“Me, too! We’re so proud of you that we’re making it our treat. How about that?” Taryn proposed.

Now, that was hard to argue with!

“Sounds good to me!”

We all ordered a cup of ice cream and sat at a tiny table to eat it. The cashier had smiled at me and addressed me as Miss. I had liked it more than I had expected to.

One of the other three people in the ice cream parlor was a girl who was about six years old. She abruptly hurried over to me to chat.

“What’s your name?”

“I’m Lilli. What’s your name?” I smiled warmly at her.

“My name’s Jocelyn. I like your braid. It’s so pretty!” she gushed.

I beamed as I took in the compliment.

“Thank you, Jocelyn. I love your pigtails, too. They look adorable on you,” I reciprocated.

“Thank you!”

Jocelyn giggled as her parents approached.

“Time to go home, Jocelyn. I hope she wasn’t bothering you.” Her mother was looking at me, making me very nervous. I gave them all a smile.

“Oh, she was no bother at all. She’s adorable!” I assured the family.

“Yeah, she’s very cute!” Christine concurred.

Jocelyn giggled, buried her head in her mother’s leg, and uttered a muffled reply as her mother chuckled at her.

“I think she’s saying thank you.”

“You’re welcome!” I smiled again.

“Well, you three girls have fun,” the mother directed to me.

“Thank you. We will.”

I beamed at Jocelyn and her family.

We waited long enough for the family to leave the ice cream parlor before Christine started in.

“You were great with Jocelyn, Lilli!”

“Yeah, you were. How did it feel?” Taryn enthused.

I was still smiling broadly.

“It felt really good.”

“Cool!”

Christine gave me a knowing look that Taryn, thankfully, did not pick up on — but Christine obviously knew I was feeling great! I was so comfortable being myself that I forgot there was anything unusual about my appearance.

“Hi, Taryn! Hi, Christine!”

I smiled when I saw Mira approaching with a cup of ice cream. I had had a massive crush on her since the fifth grade. What a treat it would be to have her join my sisters and I at our table!

“Hi! Do you want to join us?” I smiled brightly at her.

Taryn and Christine glanced at each other.

“Er, yeah, sit down with us! It’s nice to see you, Miranda!” Taryn smiled deliberately, Christine following suit.

Mira smiled at me and sat down next to me.

“Hi, I’m Miranda. Is it okay if I sit here?” she inquired earnestly.

Next to me??

“Yeah, sure!” I beamed at her.

Wait, why is she introducing herself to me?

Taryn and Christine looked at me as though they were checking on me.

And what’s their problem?

I smiled at them as I enjoyed myself. It was a nice day, the ice cream tasted great and Mira was sitting next to me!

Mira looked at me askance for a moment, as though I had forgotten something.

“So, what’s your name?” she asked.

“I’m Lilli,” I replied merrily.

Suddenly, I half-choked on a bite of ice cream as alarm bells sounded in my head.

Oh my God! I’m dressed as a girl in front of Mira in tights and everything! If Mira figures out who I am she will never want me!

I stared down at my ice cream as I felt my heart sink and my emotions swell. I could no longer enjoy myself.

Unfortunately, Mira noticed.

“Lilli, are you okay?” she asked tenderly.

Oh, GOD, this not happening! Think fast! What would suddenly make a girl feel upset?

I finished the last two bites of my ice cream to gain some time to think.

“Y-yeah, um, just um,” I leaned forward and lowered my voice, “it’s just that my ‘monthly visitor’ is a total bitch, that’s all. She likes to show up unannounced and surprise me right when I’m having fun,” I mock-griped.

I may not have ovaries but I am in pain!

Taryn didn’t seem quite sure what to do, but Christine came right to my rescue. She reached across the table and gently put one hand on my forearm.

“Oh, sweetie, well let’s get you home, yeah?”

“I think that would be best, yes,” I smiled weakly.

Otherwise I might start crying right here.

“I’d be happy to give you a ride,” Mira offered, hastily finishing her ice cream.

Shit. This is getting better and better. Where, oh, where will it end? I silently bemoaned.

I stiffened again as another thought hit me.

Oh, God! What if she knows it’s me when she drops me off at my house with Taryn and Christine? Fuck!! What do I do?

“Thanks, Miranda. Let’s go!” Christine accepted, making the choice for me.

“Yeah, thanks, M-Miranda. That’s a good idea,” I agreed. I supposed that it would get me home quicker.

“Oh, no problem! That’s what friends are for, right?” she smiled.

We disposed of our empty ice cream cups and piled into Mira’s shiny red VW Bug. Two minutes later, Mira pulled up in front of our house. It was enough time for me to do some quick thinking.

During the ride home I realized that I didn’t care who knew I wasn’t born a girl, mainly because nobody did. I was only upset about the potential loss of any possibility of romance with the girl I loved like no other — and that hurt more than words could express!

My stomach began to feel upset and I placed a hand on my abdomen, which unbeknownst to me, slipped several inches down amidst the bumps on the way home.

Taryn noticed this as she got out and she helped me out of the car. I didn’t know exactly why she was doing that, but I went along with it. I looked back at Mira for a moment.

“Thanks for driving us, M-Miranda,” I deliberately used her full name.

I could not look at her anymore. It hurt me too much. I looked away, hoping that I didn’t look away too fast. As I turned for the front door with Christine, I heard Miranda briefly speak to Taryn.

“Is she okay, Taryn?”

“Yeah, she is.”

“I hope I didn’t do anything . . .”

“You didn’t. Really.” Taryn tried to reassure her.

“Okay. Well, um . . . I guess I’ll . . . I’ll . . . head home myself,” Mira trailed off.

“Okay. Take care, Miranda. We’ll see you later,” Taryn reassured her.

“Yeah. You too.”

Taryn closed the car door and I heard the car drive away. As I reached the front door, I turned around to watch Mira drive away while Taryn opened the door. Right when I did, Mira stopped at a stop sign and I thought I saw her turn around and look back at me. I looked away before she recognized me and stepped inside.

Chapter 11: Sunday, May 16, 2010

“Lilli?” Mira gently shook me. “What are you thinking about?”

Her question gently brought me back to the basement, where I awaited my fate.

“I was, um . . . I was thinking about Friday when we ran into you at the ice cream shop and you saw my true self for the first time.”

“Yeah?” Mira smiled.

“Yeah. I guess I’m just . . . I guess my life is kind of flashing before my eyes or something,” I giggled half-heartedly.

“Hey, now!” Christine threw an arm around me. “You’re not dying here — and Mom is not going to kill you, either! She may be uncomfortable — and she might make you be a boy for school and stuff, at least for now, but she’s not going to ream you out or anything, okay?”

“I know. I just can’t help worrying about it, that’s all.”

Unwilling to dwell on the possibility of my mother making me be a boy, my mind sought ways to escape the room, and I let it go where it would.

PART THREE IS COMING SOON!

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]