Dr. Helene Miller spoke as a ballerina hurried into the room, “Is that you Joey?”

“Yes,” Josey said, as she turned to a large screen connecting the two on a video call. Josey was stunned to already be connected and on the screen. Josey carefully made her way to a stand that had a microphone. “I hope you would address me as Josey. That is who I am at the Walters Dancing Camp.”

“Your Aunt Beth told me you are one of the big surprises at the Dance Camp and that the Pink Tutu you’re wearing is a prize she thought would take to the end to achieve if then.” Josey’s face lights up as they talk. “Your Mother says you want to go home when camp is over as Josey. Is that true?”

Josey could see no indication if Dr. Helene Miller was pleased or not. “I think; I wanted to become the girl you see now. I suspect I would need to live as Joey for a while sometime but I would like to remain Josey for now and when I return and can see you in person. Would you agree to that?”

Dr. Miller said, “It would likely be more difficult to return home as Josey. You would likely receive a lot more negative responses to people…” She asked first to see me in the five different positions that ballet dancers start from. And then asked to see me dance about… “I see a much more graceful person; can you explain how the change came about?”

“I was Joey dressed like a girl to learn the tricks or secrets about how girls stood on their toes. But I was accepted as Josey, and I got frustrated because I was having trouble. Instead of them becoming angry with me; my friend Megan taught me about ballet and demonstrated a lot of the basics. I improved modestly until my teacher Anna Roche and friend Megan began to teach me by following Megan’s lead. My learning and ability just took off, and now three weeks later, I am learning ballet dances. It was like I became Josey and my spirit reflects that. My Aunt Beth, who heads this camp, gave me this pink tutu as something I earned. It should have taken until early August if ever I would have earned it.”

“Would it be okay if you left camp and came home tomorrow,” asked Dr. Miller. Josey’s posture changed like the air was kicked out of her.

“If I did,” Josey said, “If I give back the Tutu’ it wouldn’t mean anything. Are you going to require me to do that?”

Dr. Miller said, “I thought you’d like to come home; you achieved what you wanted. Why would Joey want to stay any longer? …You could stay, but that didn’t make sense in Joey’s thinking.”

“Joey has some scruples I didn’t have when I came here. I would rather not stop what I started. No, it doesn’t make sense to the way I thought, but I don’t think I would be any happier as Joey or Josey if it ended now.” Josey looked at Dr. Helene in front of her. “I would like to finish what I’ve begun. I won’t learn everything, but I will have seen my commitment through. I don’t usually do that.”

Dr. Helene smiled, “I am happy for you. Your mother and I didn’t expect any big change, but this experience is helping you to grow.” Dr. Miller asked the others to leave the room, and the building if that were possible. She needed to talk to me privately.

Dr. Miller said after the others left, “This is between you and me and is confidential… Are you being forced under pressure to do what you are doing?” She went through some possibilities of how that might happen. “Can I hear you talk as Joey?” We talked.”

Joey said, “You were correct, this was a drastic change, one I didn’t expect. I’ve been selfish and immature. I’m afraid of going back to being me too soon.” Joey changed, it was once again Josey speaking. “There’s a lot of Joey left in me; I don’t hate myself as Joey. Like Joey, I always liked girls’ things, but that was a secret. I don’t want to hide or be a secret. I deserve better than that. I hope you can understand that.”

“I am impressed Josey, if you would call the others back. I think you will be happy with what I will say.”

Dr. Helene Miller greeted the others. “It appears that Josey has made some good strides. While Josey and I agree that Joey continues to be an important part of whom she is. I agree that she continue at the dance camp as Josey. My suggestion is that she continue taking supplements as beneficial and that she will have an appointment to see me soon after she returns home. Her time in dance and as Josey has helped her to see more of whom she is. What the future holds for Joey/Josey should be done with my help and a counselor.”

When the session was over Mom, Aunt Beth, and Josey hugged and talked. Mom was to stay until the next for a proper goodbye. Josey surprised Anna Roche by getting to her dance lesson already in session. Josey practiced dancing as part of the group. Michele continued to dance becoming familiar with what had become Josey’s role. Shelley was, in fact, a more accomplished ballerina.

Josey dared to let others know that she was a transgender person. It was something most of them had realized and were now happier that it could be spoken about. Charlie who had become a day camper who went home at night; talked more to Josey. “I can see the attraction you see in being a female dancer, and I appreciate that you hadn’t pushed that idea on me. I might enjoy the chance to be a ballerina, but not now if ever.”

Josey’s Mom had Mysti out playing when the afternoon session was over. Mom also sat with Josey during the evening meal.

Josey’s filled with a whirlwind of emotions. She had taken of her breast forms, but pushups helped her to keep her feminine appearance. She was thrilled that her Mom was accepting of her as Josey; yet like any teenager she was anxious for her Mom to leave in the morning, despite knowing she would cry in saying goodbye. Her mother had a surprise, she took Josey to town to get her makeup. Anna Roche was with them, and to Josey’s surprise, Anna had worked with cosmetics to fund some schooling and her first two years as a ballerina in France.

Anna had convinced Jenifer Anders to allow Josey to have enough champagne that Josey might become giggly. Once she did, Josey tried whispering a question, “Ms. Roche, do you think it will be safe to tell my mommy about my stash of girl clothes?”

“You can call me Anna tonight. When did you begin cross-dressing, and when did you begin collecting the clothing?”

“When my cousin Michele visited and left a short skirt and two pairs of panties. I told my mother but they disappeared after my mother didn’t mail them to her. Then the next visit Michele found the panties hidden in the back of my chest of drawers and her skirt hanging in my closet under one of my shirts. She had me dress in them when our mothers went shopping. She gave me a blouse to wear and helped me to look girly. She came to visit now and then for some time. My wardrobe increased each time.”

My mother interrupted us asking, “Why don’t you tell Anna about the pictures Michele took of you?”

Josey was surprised that her mother knew about the photos she had taken. Josey asked, “How long did you know about that?” Her mother explained that Josey had not done a good job of hiding them, nor had Josey realized they had been cleaned and put away.

“Mom, why didn’t you tell me you knew about Michele and me?” Josey asked, not knowing if she wanted the answer.

Her Mom said, “I thought at first it was a one-time thing that you would grow out of. The longer you dressed behind my back, the angrier I got. But I wasn’t sure how to talk to you so I talked to Michele and my sister Karen. Karen discouraged Michele from helping you. It wasn’t until Aunt Beth visited that I saw the disrespectful side of Joey. But when she showed the picture of the pink tutu; you embarrassed me and told Aunt Beth any boy could do what girls do. And that set up the events of this summer.”

Mom said, “When Aunt Beth said how well you were doing. And she said she thought Josey was for real. I have since found some of your stash of clothes that I didn’t know was still there. They are clean and either hanging in your closet or put away in two drawers of your chest of drawers. I also put your poster of Kate Winslet from Titanic on her toes onto my wall.” Mom giggles, “I cleaned off the stain on it the best I could.”

“Mother, you know there was no such thing,” Josey protested.

His mother kissed Josey on the cheek and got into the car. “I will look forward to having a daughter for a while when you get home.”

Josey, “I thank you for the mother/daughter times we’ve had on this visit. I hope you’ll be up for our closing programs.”

The car drove off with no remark if she’d be back or not.

Anna commented, “I want you to your dancing workshop on time. You’ll be working on how ballerinas jump and are lifted by partners.”

Josey changed into her regular ballet tights and was stopped by Aunt Beth as she entered the main hall. “Now you have permission to be yourself, Josey, enjoy yourself.”

“Yes um,” said Josey and she went to stretch and be ready for the day. Anna was good at her word when it came time to practice. Anna asked, “What sports have you played and enjoyed?” When Josey indicated basketball, “Do you know how to take a jump shot? I don’t know much about basketball, but I like to watch it. It seems like there are smoother jumpers than others. Could you explain that?”

Josey explained, “Some have trouble handling the ball, jump with their hands with the ball and their eyes on the basket. It takes time and learning by experience.”

Anna says, “That sounds like something I want you to learn next in ballet. …You have learned some dances, but your jumps or being lifted need to become smoother, more second nature to you by repetition and experience, and learning about where you are with others.” The ninety minutes in the morning was hard and frustrating for Josey. She made small strides that were frustrating to her. At the worst, Anna would work with her more personally in the afternoon.

Once back in her room, Josey heard from Megan that she had a good morning and asked how Josey did. Megan asked, “Were you the one who was learning how to jump?”

“Yes, it was, and don’t tease me. It’s like I have to relearn to dance all over. Ms. Roche said It would take years of practice, being patience while I am being pushed to learn it. And there are things like fouettes, en pointes, and more that I need to learn.”

Megan said, “There is much you have learned quickly, but it takes time. Be patient with yourself, you’ll be surprised how much more you’ll learn yet during this camp. If you continue to dance with our group when we’re home, you’ll continue to improve.”

It hit Josey, she would be going home. Would she dare join a ballet group there? Every day, she talks with Mysti about her hopes and fears about returning home. She tried talking with Megan, but Megan told her to concentrate on her ballet now. So this became a thing between her and Mysti. She had talked to Anna Roche, and Anna gave her time once a week. Anna advised Josey that ballet was good for her and something she could do in college and later in local theatre groups.

Josey asked, “Anne, why are you willing to help me? It’s like you take interest in me and hear what I’m trying to say and be… I have a limited future in ballet, but you understand that it speaks to my life.”

Anna says, “I hope to go on to ballet, but there are people in my journey that I think I’ll be remembering. I think you’re one of those people I hope comes backstage to see me. I even hope you’ll have a daughter, son, or a friend with you. I believe Josey that you make a good Mom.” Anna sees Josey wondering, “I’m not forecasting your future; I just think you can achieve your heart’s desire.”

It’s the end of the week and Josey has learned and moved ahead some, not as quickly as she would like. Friends of Megan’s came that weekend. Josey and Mysti moved to Aunt Beth’s for the weekend, as she didn’t want Megan’s friends to recognize her.

Aunt Beth’s granddaughter Teri was there, a distant cousin to Joey. Teri no longer dances but she’s willing to put on some tights and practice with Josey. They’re quickly friends. Teri drives them to Keene to do some shopping therapy. Teri’s old enough that they are on their own. Teri likes being in another college town. Teri asks, “If my friend Danny is home and willing to go to a movie are you game if he has a friend who would go with us; I hope you will be willing?”

Dan’s home and his brother Trez are willing. Josey sneaks back to get a nice outfit. Aunt Beth had told Teri she wished they weren’t going out, but she didn’t force a change. Aunt Beth talked alone to Josey, “Josey, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“It’s not just to please Teri, but I need to do it sometime since I’m thinking I’m a girl,” said Josey. Beth winked and said, “Not completely.” Josey smirked.

Aunt Beth complimented, “Teri and Josey, I think your dates will be pleased with how attractive you are.”

Shortly after Dan beeped his horn to let Teri and Josey know they were there. Teri spoke, “Relax Josey, Dan knows better; especially since my Grandma hasn’t met Trez. They’ll be at the door soon enough.”

Josey enjoyed Aunt Beth’s questions for Trez and Dan. Trez was both handsome and seemed to be well-mannered. He said he had graduated from high school and would attend Keene State this fall.

Approved to go out the guys walked their dates to the car. Trez said, “I’ve never dated the girls from the dance camp. I suspect you are graceful as well as attractive.”

Josey smiled, “I’ve never dated someone who graduated from Nova Hope High School. This will be a first for both of us.”

They first went to a small restaurant and the guys treated the girls to dinner. Josey was nervous, eating, and being watched. She took small bites that she thought were appropriate for a girl. Trez would go to play basketball at Keene State and study in their environmental science program.

Teri mentioned, “Josey had been a tomboy and has just started to take ballet. But her grandma said Josey is developing into a fine ballerina.” Maybe if we go to a dance, instead of the movies; you will see if she can translate her ability in dancing with you?”

That made Josey more nervous as going to the movies would require a lot from her. Dan looked at his younger brother, “Well I think we could do that. What do you think Trez?”

Josey already learned a little about dancing as a girl and wasn’t very nervous. Trez was already impressed with Teri as Dan’s date. He was happy that Josey had a tomboy side as well as being pretty and graceful. He spent his time waiting for a slow dance with Josey.

An older boy tried to cut in, but Josey spoke for herself, “Sorry but I’m staying with him.” The guy told her how it was supposed to be. Josey said, “Sorry times have moved on and I choose to stay with Trez.”

Trez’s ego took a great boost. After they started to dance again Trez said, “Thanks, you know how to make a guy feel good. I like what you decided, but I’m surprised as he was older.”

“I did it as much for me as you; you’re new but I know I like you,” said Josey. It was the last time at the dance they were interrupted. They did as much talking and walking as they did dancing. Josey was surprised that she had feelings for Trez, or was it just the idea she was liked? Liking a boy seemed awkward, but Josey amused herself, ‘I’m a ballerina that new… being Josey liking a boy is new.’

She hoped for a kiss before the night ended but didn’t want to push the idea.

When it came time to leave the dance and be taken back to Aunt Beth’s; Josey could tell Dan and Teri were back as very good friends. After Teri was in the car, she cued Josey, “Follow suit.” When Dan got into the car and turned the key to start it, Teri’s hand went up to Dan’s face, turned it towards her, and kissed him.

Trez murmured, “I like that idea.” He and Josey turned to each other and kissed. Trez’s kiss was wet, warm, and Mm nice. Josey liked it. She touched his face and kissed again. When dropped off at Aunt Beth’s; Josey told Trez she hoped to see him again…

To Be Continued…