Kelly's Journey Chapter 4: Who's Who?   By Stanman63   Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration!   After the Halloween party, Kelly finds that being a girl is something that he wants to explore. With the support of family and friends, she starts upon a journey of a lifetime.

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The twins looked at me with an eager, hopeful look,I knew what they wanted and I did too. We had yet to really spend anytime in the playhouse since daddy had died a week after it was given to us and we were eager to break it in.

"OK Mr. Woods, can we sleep in the playhouse?['As much fun as my balcony, but warmer.']

"Please daddy, we ain't played in it properly yet," complained Julie. ['It'll be fun to sleep on the rooftop patio or by the fireplace tonight.']

"Yeah daddy, and we ain't got anything in it dirty yet." supplied Johnny. [Oh oh, momma hates for us to make an extra mess for her to clean up.']

Then Mrs. Woods spoke up, "First of all Kelly, the correct term is 'MAY I', and 'AIN'T is NOT a word I want in your vocabulary you two." ['Time to "PRANK" the kids for those ruined pillows. I wonder if they forgot so soon, looks like it from their downcast looks.*giggle*']

Then momma got into the act, "Besides, we NEVER agreed to you kids staying there by yourselves overnight. I personally have my doubts about during the day! ['I hate the idea of them alone overnight in there at least for now, Later on, they can be alone when they are older. Until then, an adult is needed.']

Our hopes were completely dashed when Mister Woods chimed in, "Well kids, the mothers have spoken, I will not gainsay them in this." ['I had the playhouse built for them and us for when we need some playtime. The kids needed it it because I was afraid that they'd fall and hurt themselves on the stairs going up and down in the Guesthouse.']

[sigh] "OK momma, I apologize Mrs. Woods for using the wrong word, I began to cry.

Then my momma grinned, "Got'cha you little scamps."

"The look on your faces was priceless, I think that you've paid the price for those pillows."

"They have, besides, now I can use the feathers to make a comforter or quilt."

Then we swarmed the adults after I yelled, "ATTACK!!"

Needless to say, it was a free for all of tickling until we stopped when Julie wee’ed herself. Then we went and got ready for bed. We went to bed in the playhouse and were soon asleep. I felt as if I was a girl and I wanted to be one. I fell asleep thinking about being a girl.

I had a dream where I was born a girl, and my Daddy was alive. In it, I grew up to look just like my Momma. But best of all, there were no bad dreams. Usually When I sleep alone, I dream about daddy dying and the funeral. It ends with daddy as a zombie coming for me.

When I woke up the next morning, I got up, went inside to watch cartoons and wait for breakfast. The Woods at times would go out for a buffet and invite me to go with them if momma was working, then we'd make it a day full of fun by going to play miniature golf, skating or bowling.

Then that night, we'd either go to the movies or see one of the many tapes that were in their basement. The Woods collected movies and T.V. programs on C.D.s and video cassettes. We hardly ever watched live television. The only live programs we'd watch were sports and the news. I had tinkled and washed up, but I was still Tinkerbell.
 
 

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Let me tell you about the playhouse. It was on Julie and Johnny's fifth birthday that we got it. Mister Woods had bought four old tool sheds that were no longer needed, so he brought them to the estate where he had them connected and turned into a playhouse for us kids. The ceiling was quite low for an adult, but perfect for us kids or my Momma or Mrs. Woods as they are both tiny.

The furniture is hand-made and each room is paneled and carpeted. There is a full kitchen and bathroom and three bedrooms. the biggest serving as den. Each bedroom has an entertainment center and central heat and air.

Whenever we spent the night, the rule was that we'd have breakfast in the kitchen of the big house. The playhouse was and still is a snug little building. When the Woods gave it to us on the twins last birthday, they made quite a show of it.

We kids saw a truck pull into the backyard and stop near where Mister Woods had built a brick foundation, "Mister Woods, what are you doing?" ['Is this for the birthday party?']

"Preparing a birthday present for Julie and Johnny, Kelly." ['He's so curious, must be part cat.' chuckle]

"Really?? What is it?" I tried to peek, but he gently shooed me away and had a smile on his face, so I knew that it was something very special.

"It's a secret, you'll find out on their birthday." ['If I tell him, he'll blab it to my kids in nothing flat.']

"Darn!! Have to wait," I pouted. I was hoping that my pout would change his mind.

Then he picked me up in a bear hug, "Oh Kelly, This gift is as much for you as it is for them. I feel as if you're my son, I love you so much." ['When I became your Godfather, I adopted you in my heart and I will never regret it.']

"Then I cried as I gave him a peck on the cheek, " Thanks Mister Woods, but I still miss my Daddy." ['Daddy, I miss you every day, but I know that you're looking out for me and momma from up in Heaven.']

"I know," he wept. ['To lose your dad at such a young age is a tragedy that I hope that I can help you with.'] Then he took me to the kitchen & set me down at the breakfast bar. I looked up at him and saw him openly weeping.

"Why are you crying?" [He never cries.']

"Because I too miss your daddy,[sniff] we were best friends.[sniff] We grew up together,[sniff] and when you were born,[sniff] he asked me and my wife to be your Godparents.[sniff] When your daddy died, [sniff] we adopted you and your Mother. Now I feel as if I'm your daddy." [And I know that **Lynn** feels that she is your second mother too.']

"I love you to Mister Woods, [sniff, sniff] ever since daddy died, [sniff, sniff] you've been like a daddy to me. And Mrs. Woods as been a second mother to me, [sniff, sniff] and momma thinks the world of you, [sniff, sniff]. but...."

"You both miss your daddy." [' Dear Lord, protect Kelly, he's so vulnerable right now.']

Then I wept bitter tears of mourning for daddy while Mister Woods carried me to Mrs. Woods who was painting another picture, What's wrong with Kelly Charlie?" [Looks like they've both been crying.']

"Kelly is missing his daddy. I guess he needs to nap right now." ['I could use one myself, but I gotta go to work.']

"Thanks Mister Woods, a nap sounds fine to me." ['I am kinda sleepy.']

"Then snuggle down on the sofa dear." ['Lord, please keep the bad dreams away from Kelly.'] Then she pulled back the quilt covering the sofa.

"You just rest a bit Kelly, remember that you're family here." ['Am I ever glad that my kids and Stu are still living.'] Then Mister Woods gently lay me upon the soft cushions of the sofa and covered me with a quilt. I was soon fast asleep dreaming about Daddy being alive.

Johnny and Julie woke me up later for lunch. That's when I told everybody why I don't have anymore nightmares. I had dreamed about my daddy and me the last time that he had held me. This time, it did not end in a nightmare, but ended with daddy still alive.

I felt somebody shaking me shoulder, "Wake up sleepy head, or you'll miss lunch, said Julie. ['WOW!! Kelly didn't have a bad dream like he usually does when alone.'

"Yeah Kelly, your momma is making everybody burgers and fries." [' Hers are better than daddy's , and she won't tell him her secret.']

I rubbed my eyes and grabbed my cap, "Yummy!!! I'm coming!! Is your daddy here too?" ['I hope he is cause I want to tell everybody at the same time.']

"Yep, why do you ask?" ['And why is he so happy? It's like he didn't have a bad dream.']

Once I had the cap on, I kicked the covers off, "Because I've got something important to say to everybody, Johnny." ['An end to my bad dreams.']

Then Julie pointed to my crotch, "Careful Kelly, or you'll flash me, Julie giggled. ['I don't know how many times he's seen my panty, but I don't want to see his.']

During the nap, I'd thrown the quilt off and before sleeping had removed my shorts. The shirt that I was wearing was one of Johnny's, its hem went to mid thigh on me.

"Then turn away nosey." I laughed.

After donning the shorts I'd borrowed from Julie, we headed down to lunch on the patio where momma was grilling the burgers. She looked comical wearing that chef's hat and multi-colored apron that we kids had made from old quilting scraps, but she was having fun flipping the burgers and corn on the cob while Mrs. Woods was bringing out potato salad. Mister Woods was pouring the drinks.

"One sleeping beauty delivered as ordered," Johnny called out. ['Ever since seeing that movie, I've wanted to say that.']

"Well, about time you woke up sleepyhead, Mister Woods chuckled. ['Talk about bright eyed, Kelly sure looks happy.']

"Yeah, he's up just in time to eat as usual," giggled Mrs. Woods. ['Just like a certain Hobbit in Lord Of The Rings.']

"Hey, I didn't wake up on my own, Julie and Johnny woke me up," I laughed. ['I wonder if she saw my undies.']

"Only because you'd be impossible to be around if you missed my grilled burgers Kelly," Momma smirked. ['Just like your daddy, GOD how I miss him.']

"Yeah, then I'd have to tickle you," giggled Julie. ['And get you to wee yourself.']

"O.K., I give up, let's eat, I'm hungry!!" I exclaimed. ['Julie loves tickling me.']

Then Momma placed a platter of burgers and a platter of roasted corn on the table while Mrs. Woods placed the potato salad and Mister Woods placed two pitchers of sweet tea on the table. The patio was under an awning with mosquito netting to prevent bugs from bugging us, it also held a sink and cupboard as well as a cooler.

Momma began to inspect my hands, "Have you kids washed up?" ['He has a bad habit of forgetting.']

"Yes Momma, but you and the Woods need to also, I smirked. ['It's fun to tease Momma.']

Then Momma grabbed a towelette from the sink and wiped her hands. "Don't worry about us, we used wet naps." ['I'm glad to see him teasing me, means that he's happy again.']

Julie tugged on her daddy's arm, "Daddy, who's gonna say the blessing?" ['Hope its not too long a prayer, I'm hungry.']

Then I called out, "May I, because I have something to tell." ['Mister Woods usually prays, hope he lets me.']

"Go ahead Sport." ['I can tell that it's important to you.']

Then after everybody closed their eyes, I prayed, "Jesus, I wanna thank you for lunch and my momma and the Woods. I miss my daddy, and I've had bad dreams ever since he died. Thanks for taking them away. Amen."

Then momma smiled and dabbed her eyes from crying. "Oh my son, [sniff, sniff] ever since your daddy died, [sniff, sniff] you've been having nightmares is by yourself. [sniff, sniff] How long have the bad dreams stopped Kelly?"[sniff, sniff] ['I've prayed for this, now my prayers are answered.']

Then Mrs. Woods hugged my momma, "Oh Lynn, I know you're happy, Stu and I share in your happiness." ['My sister by choice.']

"Ever since I started wearing Julie and Johnny's clothes momma." [I wish I knew why though.']

Then Mister Woods patted my hand, "I think that I know why Kelly." [I've been reading about nightmares, and I think that I have an answer for him.']

"Why Mister Woods?"

"You feel safe in their clothes just as you do when sleeping with them or us." [Ever since my best friend died, you've needed the security of your friends and family.']

"You know, your right, I DO feel safe and secure."

Lunch that day was especially scrumptious!! From that day onward, I always wore one of either Julie's or Johnny's tops to sleep in, and at times I dreamed about being a girl too.
 
 

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Then on their birthday, he called us out to the new building, Julie, Johnny and Kelly, This building is our gift to you this year."

"But Mister Woods, my birthday is next week!! "

"True Kelly, but we decided to celebrate all of your birthdays today."

"Don't worry Kelly, I'll have a party for you and Johnny and Julie next week."

"Thanks momma," Then I hugged her.

Then we explored the building and found it to be quite comfy. There were loads of toys and games in each room and the kitchen was filled with our favorite snacks and drinks. In the bedrooms, we found that we each had clothes set aside for us.

We were itching to get to the snack tray that Mrs. Woods had prepared when Mister Woods announced, "This building is your playhouse kids. You are free to spend the weekend sleeping here as long as me, your Mother or Mrs. Moore comes too."

"Daddy, I saw only one bed in each bedroom, where will the adult sleep?"

"Each bedroom has a sofa bed and air mattress Johnny."

"What about during the week Daddy?"

"You can play in the playhouse and watch T.V. But you will eat dinner and sleep in the house Julie."

Then we had a snack supper in the kitchen and watched T.V. and went to bed in our old bedrooms.
 
 

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I never thought that I'd be spending the night in it dressed as a girl. But this was to be the first of many nights as I discovered the girl within me.

When Mister Woods saw me, he came over looking concerned. He sat down by me and was looking me over. Finally, he sighed. "Kelly, I see that you're still in your costume. Didn’t you bring a change of clothes to wear with you?"

"Yes sir." ['Am I in trouble for not changing? Was there anything said about changing last night?']

"Then why are you still Tinkerbell?" He looked so concerned, but I was so confused about everything.

"I like wearing a dress," I sniffed.['Will he understand even when I don't?']Then he sat by me and sat me in his lap. WOW! I was finally in his lap like Julie, was I now his Princess now that I was in a dress? I liked the way that his hand felt as he held me.

"Kelly?" He smiled warmly at me.

"Yes Mister Woods?"

"Do you want to be a girl like Julie?"

Mister Woods was the Father that I never had. Here he was being so nice to me. For some reason,,I knew that I could trust him. He was always making sure that he spent time with me. As I grew up, we have spent many a Saturday afternoon alone fishing & talking about things.

"I don't know, all that I know is that I like the feel of hose and skirts," I sniffed. I had finally admitted it out loud and it felt good. 'Come to think about it, I wonder if Johnny likes wearing hose too?'

"Well, you have worn Julie's tops and shorts before. I don't really see the problem."

'Huh? No Problem!! Am I hearing right?' "Yes sir, but not her undies. And this dress has attached undies." Then I lifted the skirt to show him. " See?"

Then he blushed and reached over and lowered my skirt back down and patted my hand. "I see what you mean now, you never looked like a girl before and now that you do, you are confused."

He had given voice to my inner conflict that I could not utter in my distress. He was so wise, no wonder Mrs. Woods married him. If I could have, I'd have married him then.

Then I hugged him, "Yes sir, I don't know what I am right now," I cried as I wept on his shirt. I sure did give his shirt a good soaking as he comforted me. I felt his hands holding me under my fanny as his arm supported my back just like he did Julie. That strangely comforted me to be treated like a daughter. 'Does he think of me as a daughter now? Does it even matter to him? '

After I had cried myself out, he kissed me on the forehead and sat me on the sofa again. "Kelly, if you want, you can by a girl whenever you’re over here."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Was this a dream? Would I really get to be a girl over here?'

"I guess that it is time to share my secret with you Kelly, I knew a boy years ago that wore a dress on Halloween and wore pantyhose too, when that boy went to school wearing that dress, the other boys made fun of him," he sighed as he remembered. And I could see a few tears in his eyes too.

"That was mean of them. Did anything happen after that?"

"Those boys apologized for being mean and they all became friends."

"That's nice, too bad they were mean though."

"Yes, and I don't want that to happen to you. Can you guess who that boy was?"

Then I asked in insight, "Was that boy you?"

Then he chuckled, "Yes, you are a smart one Kelly, let this be our secret."

"Sure thing Mister Woods, Was that a one time thing?'

"Yes Kelly, I never did it again, I did it for Halloween. 'He saw my secret, yet he accepts it. He is so innocent and without guile or deceit.'

"O.K. Mister Woods." This was the very first secret that I had of his to keep and I kept it safe. I learned later that he told Julie and Johnny years later.

Then Mrs. Woods came in from the kitchen and sat by me. "Kelly, would you like to be able to dress as a girl over here?" Mrs. Woods was always kind and gentle with me. Whenever I had a boo boo, she'd kiss it to make it better just like she did for her kids. I was like her third child in many ways.

"Yes Ma'am." I gushed thankfully. 'I get to be a girl! YIPPEE!!!'

"If you do, you will wear a skirt or dress and hose."

"Why hose and what about jeans and sweats? What is so special about hose?" 'Not that I mind'

"Because it is getting colder now dear, but if you wish, you can wear hose with jeans and sweats too. Thanks for reminding me, I totally forgot how hose feels under my jeans since I mainly wear dresses and skirts nowadays."

"Oh, what about shorts?"

"Alright, shorts as well," she giggled.

Then I got scared. "Why are you being so nice to me?" 'Was I sick? I didn't feel sick.'

"Kelly dear, you are best friends with our children and I heard you and Charlie talking about his secret. I was there too along with your parents. I don't want YOU hurt like he was. My husband is a sweet and gentle man very much like your Father. In fact, your Dad stood up to the bullies, and that was when their friendship started."

'WOW!! I never knew that!! '

"Thanks." Then I gave them both a big kiss and hug as Julie and Johnny came down still in their costumes. I was getting used to pantyhose now. I liked the way that made me feel and how the made my legs look better.

"I see that Tinkerbell is up, Johnny chuckled.

I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide. He was embarrassing me on purpose too. I could tell by that grin on his face. But he did look good in his tights.

"Children, we need to talk, informed Mister Woods. Then they sat down across from us, looking worried.

"Are we in trouble daddy?" Sitting down, Johnny looked like a girl too, no bulge in his tights.

"No Julie, but we need to talk about Kelly here."

"What's wrong with Kelly?" Julie looked a bit silly scrunching up her face as she tried to figure out what was wrong.

"Kelly found out that he likes to wear dresses and skirts, Julie, he has worn your things before, may he wear your dresses too?"

"Sure he can, then I’ll have a sister."

"And I will have a girlfriend."

'ME? A GIRLFRIEND? WAS HE CRAZY?' I was actually beginning to like that idea too.

"Johnny, Kelly is a boy, not a girl, said Mister Woods with a frown. 'I have to nip this in the bud before either of them gets hurt', thought Mister Woods.

Then I saw Johnny's jaw drop as Julie tittered as she fell backwards. I was afraid that she'd wet herself because I was laughing too at Johnny. I found out later that she did wet herself.

"Sheesh! I KNOW that dad, but I think Kelly is so cool to want to dress as a girl and he is so pretty too," he blushed. 'Uh oh!! I think that I got dad mad at me,' thought Johnny.

"And it is up to Kelly if he is your girlfriend when he wears a dress, NOT YOU." Then he smiled at Johnny," It is good, that you actually accept Kelly dressing as a girl though. This is important to him."

"I know daddy, it's just that," he started to fidget," well, I want to protect Kelly when he is a girl, just like I do my sister Julie."

"That's very good Johnny, treat Kelly like you do your sister, be there for Kelly when he is a girl, because that's when he will need you."

Then I looked at him, '''Am I hearing right, his sister?' "Johnny, you mean that you think of me as a sister when I wear a dress?"

"SHEESH!! YEAH!! You are my brother that I never had, why not my sister too?" he was blushing big time. I never knew that he felt this way about me. Then I went over and gave him a kiss and hug that he sheepishly returned.

"Thanks Johnny, I would love to be your sister, and I know that you will be a great brother to me." Then I went and sat back down. 'I wonder if daddy would approve? I miss not having a real daddy. [sigh.]

"Julie, you will have to teach Kelly about being a girl. I know that you'll love having Kelly as your new sister to teach."

"O.K. Daddy, It will be fun," she giggled. "It will be fun teaching Kelly how to be a girl."

"And DO NOT either of you tell anybody about Kelly either."

"Why not daddy? they chorused.

"Because it is to be our secret, only we and his mother shall know."

From that day onward, I learned all about being a girl from Julie. She had several duplicates of her "BARBIE" costumes and she gave them to me to put in the playhouse. When my momma found out, she agreed and let me keep some Julie's girls clothes in my room. She let me wear girls clothes at night if I wanted too. The only thing was that she never asked me to be a girl. And I was afraid to do it with out her asking me.
 
 

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I later learned that Julie was thinking; Kelly makes such a sweet and wonderful girl that I'm glad that she is my part-time sister. I like it whenever he wears my tops and shorts so much that I kept a set ready for him and now that he is gonna be wearing dresses and hose, I get to teach him manners too.'
 
 
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While this was happening, Aunt Debbie was talking with my grandparents about me. She was worried about my future for she saw a lot of her in me.

They were in the dining room and had just finished dinner, "Momma, daddy, I need to talk about something please."

Granny looked over at Grandpa who nodded, "What is it child?"

"After seeing Kelly today, I am afraid for him."

"Whatever for Pumpkin? Has anybody threatened my grandson?" ['She must be thinking about her transition, Lord, please NOT Kelly!!!']

"No daddy,[sniff, sniff] but it's almost as bad, [sniff, sniff] I can see that Kelly will transition one day," she cried.

Then grandpa slammed his palm on the table, startling my aunt, "Debbie, know this, I was not able to stop your pain, but I WILL NOT FAIL KELLY!! YOU UNDERSTAND!?"

Then my auntie went and hugged grandpa, "Oh daddy!! if you hadn't been there, I'd have killed myself! If not for your love and granny's wisdom, I wouldn't have had the strength to continue! I hope that Kelly will be spared my pain!" ['Lord, if not for daddy, I'd be dead now.']

Then granny took my auntie's chin in her hand, "Debbie, are you SURE about Kelly?"

"Yes momma, I am." ['My nightmare shall not be yours if I can help it Kelly.']

Then grandpa began to cry, "Debbie, if I hadn't of placed the farm ahead of being your escort at Homecoming, you would still be my son. Those idiots took away your manhood and raped Terri. If young Stu hadn't of been there, I dread to think what they'd have done."

"Daddy, Stu was there and he stopped them. When he saw Terri, he had no mercy on them. If the Police hadn't arrived, he would've killed them. THAT'S why he became a police Officer instead of a Park Ranger."

"Yes, and now we must be ready to help his son. I vow to not fail him as I did you!"

"Daddy, you have NEVER failed me."

"That's right my love, please forgive yourself."

"Only after I help Kelly."

I did not know it, but without their dedication at that time, my journey would not be complete.