by Saless
Chapter 71

"What?!" Sarah asked, confused.

"We were talking about training, right? I can teach you martial arts. We'll start off easy. Jill's had some training already, so she can help me." Mike replied.

"I guess." Sarah said doubtfully.

"I think it's a great idea." Erica said.

"Good! We can get started first thing in the morning." Mike said.

They all got down to the business of eating after that, and then washing the dishes afterwards. Once done they all moved to the couch to watch a movie. They were all tired after their exertions, so decided to call it a night after the movie.

"Want a portal home?" Sarah asked.

"Hmm, better not." Mike said thoughtfully, "I think it would be best to at least try to appear normal."

Sarah shrugged, "If you say so. Goodnight!" They said their goodbyes and left with Vash on Jill's shoulder.

"So how tired are you?" Erica asked with a sly smile.

Sarah smiled shyly back and said, "Not that tired…"
 
In the morning, after a nice long shower, Sarah made breakfast for them both.

"Uh, Sarah, there's something I've been meaning to ask you, but I didn't want to push you too much too quickly…" Erica said over breakfast.

Sarah fidgeted nervously and said, "Uh, what's that?"

"Well, you don't have to answer this now if you don't want to, and the answer won't bother me no matter what it is, but…why did you wear your mother's clothes?" Erica asked hesitantly. As soon as the words were out of her mouth she could feel Sarah's barriers slamming down, blocking out any mental intrusion. She could still feel the bond, though, so that gave her some hope.

Sarah dropped her fork and looked down at her lap. Her face was very red but she said, "Do you really need to know?" very softly.

"I'm not sure if I need to know, but I think you need to tell someone. If you're not ready now, we can do this later, but I really think you would feel better if you talked about this." Erica said.

"It's in the past, it doesn't matter anymore." Sarah said weakly.

"I'm not so sure of that. Jill said you were reluctant to wear skirts, but that's all I've seen you in. I know you have trouble finding pants long enough in the thrift stores, but I think you would have splurged on at least one pair by now if it were that important to you. Other than that initial reluctance, you seem to be perfectly comfortable wearing women's clothes. So I thought maybe whatever made you want to wear your mother's clothes might still be a factor." Erica replied.

Tears starting leaking out from Sarah's eyes and she looked down again. "I…I…" she stammered, but couldn't seem to get anything else out.

Erica moved her chair next to Sarah's and held her. "If it's too much right now, I'll drop it. I don't want to upset you!" she said.

Sarah shook her head weakly, "No…I'll tell you." she said softly after a long moment of silence.

"Take as much time as you want honey." Erica said.

Sarah broke down in tears before she could get any words out and Erica pulled her onto her lap and rocked her back and forth, murmuring, "I love you." over and over again.

Finally her tears abated and she found her voice. "I…I always felt different, for as long as I can remember. In kindergarten the teachers would separate the boys and girls for some things and treated girls differently than boys. I remember being confused because they put me with the boys and treated me like a boy. That night I asked Dad why they treated me like a boy. He got angry and said, "Because you are a boy!" I started crying and tried to tell him I wasn't. He just called me a sissy and slapped me down. I was so shocked I stopped crying and Dad went back to his desk and ignored me."

"So that was the first time he hit you?" Erica asked softly.

Sarah nodded, "I got really tired of being treated like a boy. I guess the hardest part was being expected to react like a boy. I just didn't know how to do it! That's why the other kids always made fun of me, because I reacted like a girl, I guess. I hated it so much, but I found I felt better if I dressed up in my Mom's clothes. They were like a tent on me then, but they felt right! But then Dad caught me one day in first grade…" she trailed off and started shaking.

"Shh, take it easy. Take as much time as you need!" Erica soothed, rocking Sarah again.

Once she'd calmed down Sarah continued, "Mom went to work in the afternoon, so she could be there for me in the morning. Dad worked regular hours, so he was always the first one home. So he was the one that caught me when I fell asleep in one of Mom's nightgowns. He was furious! He made me take it off right there, and then took his belt off and whipped me with it. I don't know how many times he hit me, but I was bleeding by the time he was done. Crying just made it worse. When he was done he told me to put Mom's nightgown back where I'd found it and to wash up, and then he ignored me the rest of the day."

Sarah took several deep breaths after that to calm herself and Erica just held her and waited. "After that I knew I had to hide what I was doing from Dad. I was really careful to put everything back the way I found it, and to always change back to my own clothes an hour before he normally gets home. That worked for a while, but of course a day came when he came home early. He started ranting, saying how no son of his was going to be a sissy fag, and that I was going to go to hell for what I was doing. I was so scared I just stood there. I didn't even realize I was crying until he slapped me and told me to stop blubbering. Of course I cried more, so he hit me again, this time with his fist. I don't remember how many times he hit me, but I was black and blue the next day. Dad told Mom that it was kids at school before I could say anything."

"Didn't anyone at school wonder what happened to you?" Erica asked. She was having trouble keeping her anger at Sarah's father under control, but she knew it would just upset Sarah.

Sarah shrugged, "They just assumed someone beat me up after school. It's not like I was popular or anything. Later on they did, so that made it easy." Sarah sat in silence for a while and Erica held her tighter to let her know she was there for her. "Anyway," she said after a while, "I got more cautious after that, but I was caught again in third grade. And again in fourth grade. After that Dad didn't feel the need for an excuse to hit me. Or maybe he thought he was 'fixing' me preemptively. I don't know. But he was always saying how I needed to be a man and stop acting like a girl."

Erica felt Sarah's tears fall on her hand, but she kept going, "Whenever he caught me in my Mom's clothes he was particularly angry and did the most damage. That's when I got the broken bones. Then I met Mike." At this Sarah smiled faintly. "Did I ever tell you how we met?"

Erica shook her head slightly, "No, you didn't."

"Some guys were giving me a hard time on the way home from school. Mike had just moved into town and his new house was close to mine. He saw me on his way home and came over. Those guys were pushing me around and calling me names, but I wasn't hurt or anything. I think things might have escalated if he hadn't shown up, but he did. He told them off and when they started getting belligerent he just talked to them. Before I knew what was happening they were all calmed down and left. I never did understand how Mike did it." Sarah said.

Erica craned her neck around to look at Sarah's face and saw a wistful smile there. "Did you…ever have…feelings for Mike?" she asked fearfully.