When You Close Your Eyes Chapter 11

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Don’t Tell Me You Love Me

Tony never walked the halls of Jefferson High after that day. He was absent the next day and no one thought about it. Maybe was just sick or one of the rumors had finally come true and a father took him hostage and locked him away. I wanted to think he’d break free and come back to me. This was Anthony fricking Kedias. If anyone could have climbed out of a proverbial black hole, it would have been him.
I allowed myself to be physically affected by his loss but tried to hide it from others. Anna tried hiding it while walking next to Daniel in the hallway, but I could see it in her eyes. Despite their last argument, she still had something for him, and Daniel was just there. He continued to be there for her until Prom, but she ghosted him before the dance. She had been sent a letter from Tony’s parents that I had caused Tony to leave. They didn’t exactly state it, but they said enough to get the thought in her head.
Maybe I dodged a bullet to receive only a callous comment during graduation. Anna could have done so much more to me and the thought that she could still do something that night frightened me.

“I know there have been…stories, for a lack of better words, about me,” Tony stated, causing a quiet roar of laughter to roll through the crowd. “And I admit, I have been on radio silence all these years to my former classmates. When you’re in high school or even college, you’re still trying to find a direction in life. And I’ll admit I was lost as a man without a map. No one could give me the direction I was looking for, I had to find it myself.”
“I wonder how long he rehearsed this?” Daniel asked.
“You got out into the world, you find something you love to do, something that brings completeness to your life. My friends, if you have succeeded in doing so, tell me how. I wondered what could have happened if I had stayed at Jefferson to graduate with the great class of 1999 to be on the stage with you. Although I could only do it in spirit then, I am grateful to be here tonight.”
Anna looked like she was ready to run onto the stage and tear every stitch of clothing off of him.
“If I keep talking, I’ll put a lot of you to sleep. Thank you for coming tonight, I—” Tony stopped for a moment as my graduation picture splashed onto the monitor. “Enough talk. Proceed to party!”
The audience clapped and whistled as the music cranked up again.
“Not as long as I’d thought he would go,” I remarked to Daniel.
“Do you think we had to donate to his campaign for him to speak? You never know with politicians”
I nodded as Anna stormed onto the stage, pushing others out of the way so she could get into Tony’s face. She stared at him for a few seconds and then grabbed his face in a kiss.
“I always knew she still had feelings for him,” Daniel sighed.

Tony’s expression was blank as she pulled away from him. Anna’s face contorted and turned red before she reached out a hand to slap Tony, but her hands were stopped by two security guards who I think were twenty-five seconds too late to grab her. The reunion continued around the chaos on stage. Some watched, others may have thought it was a thirty-year-old re-run and ignored it.
“The more it stays the same, the less it changes,” Daniel mused with a slight smirk. “I was thinking of meeting back with the Chess Club guys. Care to join me?”
“Yes, but I want to go and see a few of the teachers before they leave. I doubt they want to stay any longer.”
“I can’t believe Dr Sprock is still alive. Do you think he’s finally cool with the Star Trek connection?”
“I’ll find out for you.”
“I’ll try to get the guys to meet at a table near the back.”

“Sounds good,” I replied as I started the long walk to the front. I weaved through former classmates I could not recognize who in return did not know me to reach the stage area where the teachers were along with Tony.
Would he recognize me if I only walked up to him, or would I have to try and talk? I talked rings around businessmen and politicians for years, but this was going to be different. There was a bit of a line to talk with him and I spent the entire time in a quiet panic about what to do. I stood behind a giant of a man, who I believe was a football player at one time. Tony made the ‘politician laugh’ when the guy said something semi-witty. They shook hands and with that, my shield vanished behind Tony.
He looked at me and smiled. I had missed his smile. Maybe it was the expression he gave to everyone, but I didn’t care at that moment.
“Hello.”
“Hello, Tony” I replied as I shook his hand.
“I don’t remember seeing you…I apologize.”
“My name’s Keri.”
“Ah, sorry, still rusty. What classes did we have together?”
“None, I’m afraid. We didn’t get to talk much at school.”
“Were you a friend of Anna?”
“No, we were never on friendly terms. Kind of rivals in a way.”
“Uh-huh,” Tony mused as he continued shaking my hand. "Can you give me another hint?”
I didn’t want to spend the evening going back and forth with small talk as others were behind me.
“Just tell me two things, Tony.”
“What?”
“Do you love me?” I asked as I grabbed his other hand.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know you.”
“Do you love us?
“Do I love us?” Tony froze after repeating my words.

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Comments

Does Tony remember…….

D. Eden's picture

And does he still care? Or has his life changed, did his parents succeed? Did their plan to “fix” Tony work? Or will he remember - is the real Tony still somewhere inside?

The irony of this story is that the transgender person is trying to bring out the “real” person that has been suppressed in another person! Usually, we suppress our own real personalities; I buried the real me, the female me, so far down that I thought she was gone - that I had killed her. When I finally admitted to myself and the world who I really was, I was afraid that it was too late. But it wasn’t.

Is it too late for Tony?

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus