Goodbye

The sounds emitted from the throats of Tony’s parents moved like an arpeggio of horrific shrieks to low-tone growls and then back again. We really couldn’t hide anything, as it was too late. I avoided eye contact and just got dressed as fast as I could. There wasn’t a conversion, more like a two-on-one screaming match. The hairs on my arms bristled and I’m sure my face fluctuated between dark red to deathly white.
I looked to Tony and I guess he sensed the greater danger we were about to be in. He motioned to the back door, and I high tailed it out, leaving my shoes and socks behind. I ran around the house and vaulted over the mid-sized chainlink fence; a feat I am sure I could never repeat unless my life depended on it. I didn’t look back to the house for a second as I got into my car and fumbled with my keys. I was sure Mr. Kedias was running at me with a baseball bat, or worse, to give me my shoes, in the face. The car roared to life and I accelerated as fast as the engine would let me. It took a mile or so before I even fastened my seatbelt as I was running on autopilot, the flight mode had engaged and when Tony gave me the chance to leave, I took it.

I pulled over at the side of a gas station turned off the engine and started crying. Crying due to the emotion of everything that could have happened and how I left him to fend off his parents. But what I could tell them? Anything I said would have made everything worse. What was going to happen to Tony? Would he ever speak to me again and what could I say to him to heal the situation?
“Nothing,” I whispered to myself. “There wasn’t anything you could do. Nothing you can do.”

I started the car up again but just sat there, thinking of the uncomfortable picture of the Kedias family coming to school, finding me in the hallway and having me sent to the office for crimes against their son’s humanity. I wanted to think that maybe Tony had told them the truth but maybe also said I was a new freshman girl. Tragically, I think they would’ve preferred him getting caught with a girl than with me. If only I had been a girl, if only I thought more into it, but then we would never have the relationship we had.
I was confused about everything. Confused about myself, Tony, the world we lived in, and life in general. I couldn’t talk to my parents, they’d never understand…of course, they didn’t understand me anyway so that was that. Danny couldn’t help me, because then I’d to tell him everything and hope he would never speak a word of it. I was alone. No wingman, no one to bounce my thoughts and regrets to; just my red-faced, tear-streaked face in the rearview mirror. I drove home in a mental silence with no thoughts or emotions; just an android driving a machine.

I threw myself onto my bed in the darkness of my room. No one was at home except for me, my racing heartbeat the only sound in the silence. The next day would be a disaster if Tony was there or if he wasn’t. Either way, I’d still feel lost, not knowing what to do with my life. I stared at the location of where my desk phone was and hoped it would ring, and have Tony on the other end. But, maybe it would be his mother demanding to speak to the young girl she caught in a near compromising position and who wore unusual underwear. She would then demand to talk to the girl’s parents and have some kind of discussion. The thought of that terrorized me.

The phone rang, the red light of the ringer pulsing. I swallowed hard and then looked at the caller ID. It was Danny. I picked up the receiver.
‘Hello, Danny.”
“Chris, you sound like you’re asleep.’
“I had a bad experience with a customer at work. Took the invitation to go home.”
“Hey, sorry to about, man.”
“It’s okay,” I replied with a slight sigh. “What’s up?”
“Guess who has a date tomorrow night with Anna?”
“Seriously?”
“She said she’d think about it; but I think that’s good karma. You know?”
“Karma, yeah, the universe is a mystery.”
“Where should we go?”
“Taco Bueno or The Pink Pear, either one’s a good choice.”
“I think she’s been to those places too many times.”
“You sure you want to spend a lot of money on a first date?” I asked as I turned on my desk lamp.
“I thought it would be too much, but if I don’t try to impress her…oh, so you think I should just me myself and not reinvent the wheel to make myself into someone else.”
‘Well, yeah.”
“If only it was that simple, Chris. You’re expected to pretend you’re someone different.”
“But she already knows you.”
“No, she knows a side of me, something I can explain away as a way to keep myself sane at our school. And hey, maybe beneath her exterior she’s caring and sweet. Maybe she knows how to play chess. Oh, I got it, that new French restaurant, Nourriture Délicieuse. Can you loan me a twenty?”
“Yeah,” as my dating life was over at the moment, “I’ll bring it to school tomorrow.”
“See you then, Chris.”

I hung up the phone, lest I spill my guts about what happened. Perhaps in the morning, everything would be okay again.
The phone rang again, and sheer terror engulfed my soul: if was Tony’s phone number. I let it ring three times before picking up and placing the receiver close to, but not exactly on, my ear. I didn’t want to be deafened by angry screams.
“Hey, Kris.” Tony’s voice was calm but there something else there, something seemed off.
“I’m sorry I ran out, I-”
“I wanted you get out of there,” he replied and his voice trailed off.
“Are you okay?”
“No, I’m not,” he said in a whisper. “I won’t be at school tomorrow.”
“Why?”
“Just know that I really wanted it to work, but it can’t, I. I’m being sent to another school.”
“Tell me where it is, and I’ll follow you there.”
“No, no it’s for the best. I’m…I have an illness and it needs to be taken care of.”
“What illness?” I asked and thought he had some form of cancer or something.
“I’m going to try to get better. Goodbye, Chris.”
The phone clicked off and I threw the receiver at the wall, cracking a large hole in the plaster.