CHAPTER 74
“Minibus is leaving, love. You need to get down the hill”

“Mam, I don’t know! I’m sure I’ve forgotten something—just can’t think what it is!”

She stepped forward for a hug, bringing a smile with her.

“Illtyd’s covered the video link. Dad and Vic have got the bunkhouse covered. Me and Nansi have already delivered the bulk of the food, and we’ll be down in a few with the rest. You need to be there ten minutes ago to do the hostess bit. Be a bit pointless without you, after all”

“But there are so many people, Mam!”

“And whose fault is that? Who decided to grow up into a friend magnet?”

She held me at arms’ length for a second, her voice soft.

“I remember that evening, love. When it all came out. Such a change in you”

I tried to stare back, with a flippant “Being gay?”, but it didn’t work. Mam just smiled once more.

“Not that, my love. It was a wider thing. You and… ah, so hard to say this the right way, names and stuff. You and Alys, even when, you know?”

“When she wasn’t herself yet?”

“Exactly. You two, well, you were always close. Me and your Dad, we worried about you being too close, not having other friends, and, well, look at you now. What you have done for her, well, no need to say anything, but it’s been a two-way thing. The more you found who you were, the two of you together, the more other people could see it as well. Been trying to think of a really clever metaphor, but all I can see is two locks with the same key. Anyway, there’s other benefits as well!”

“Such as?”

“Well, for once you aren’t wearing RonHills. That is a seriously serious dress, love”

I felt the memory burning my eyes as it came up, and had to fight back the tears.

“It was something Alys said, years ago, Mam. On my birthday. I mean, I think we both did, to each other, and it was ‘wear something nice for me’, and I remember she had a blue dress, and all I had were some smarter jeans. This time, well, thought I had better try a little harder”

I grinned at her, trying to get back to my normal mood.

“Not doing the silly shoes thing, though. See you down there!”

Down the hill, the lightest of rain floating against my skin, and onto the High Street, the board outside the Cow as clear as could be, in both languages: ‘Private function tonight; invitation only’. I had felt a few qualms about costing them money by turning trade away, but there were so many people invited, lost income from notional passing strangers would be more than outweighed by that covered by invitations. As said invitations naturally covered most of the local regulars, that ‘loss’ was even less than notional.

In the door and shake the water off my jacket, and then through to the bar, where I was met with a cheer as I set out to do the obligatory meet and greet. Some I could ignore, as they had already greeted me up at the bunkhouse, but there were others, and once the two Brenin minibuses arrived, there would be more. I made my way over to Illtyd, who was fiddling with a set of cables and a rather large screen.

“Illtyd? Where’s the laptop?”

“Behind the bar, love. Your mate Warren brought this in; just wiring it all up. Got a decent camera on top of the screen. Give your girl a better view than a laptop next to the glasswasher. Just need a… Ah! Say hello, love!”

The huge black slab shimmered, and then cut to what looked like a patio set with wooden tables and chairs, all covered with wide sunshades, the glare obvious from its reflection on the concrete surfaces. A couple of figures were bent over a barbecue, and as they turned round, I recognised Mike and Ish. The former grinned, and his lips moved as he said what was probably a superbly crafted comment. Those around me roared back the traditional greeting for video conferences, “You’re on mute!”

Mike grinned again, reaching out on his own side of the screen.

“And while it is sort of brekky time over here, we are having an Aussie tradition, just without the usual beers. And here she is!”

Alys was wearing a blue dress once again, her hair unbound over shoulders tanned golden, and as I drank in the sight of her, my tongue stilled, it took me a few moments to realise that the whole of the pub had also gone silent. I struggled to find the right words.

“Um… Hi, love…”

She laughed out loud, my heart shivering with the need to hold her to me, and it was her voice that came out as the assured one, so different to the girl I had slept with that first time in Shrewsbury.

‘Don’t drop me’

“Hiya, all! Starting to get a little warm here, and we are having a sort of brunch, because we can. Got a sunshade over the screen here, so we can see you all, but the Cow looks packed! Now, going to rely on my lover to bring people past the screen on her side, but for now, well, let’s get this rolling. Is there anyone over there who doesn’t know why we are doing this video thing?”

I turned away from the screen in obvious invitation, and got a loud roar of “No!”, so turned back to my woman with a happy smile. She was on song.

“Right, then! Just for the record, though, it’s a simple thing, and it IS a big deal. I asked her to marry me, she said yes. I’m out here in Perth right now, but I will be back later this year for the rest of my course at Bangor, and some time after that we will take that next big step together, because together is how we do things, my love and I. Look out for further invitations, but they will need rather posher clothes than I can see many of you wearing. Now, Mike?”

She stepped back, and Uncle Mike was there, holding a tall beaker of something pinky-orange, clinking with ice cubes.

“Right, you lot! You’re in a pub, so we will assume you have a drink each. So… in honour of the engagement announced of these two amazing women, can we have all your glasses raised in their honour. Alys and Enfys!”

The noise was stunning, and any number of hands reached out to squeeze or pat one or both of my shoulders. Alys was back om screen, grinning happily, and as the noise died away once more, she made her own little speech.

“Time difference here is a sod, and we do have some work stuff we need to get through. We will be sitting here having a barbie breakfast, and while we are, anyone who wants to say hello is welcome to come up to the mike at your end. Not this Mike, of course, but the one in the laptop. Enjoy your evening!”

All I wanted to do was stay and stare through that screen, but Dad was shepherding me away and around the pub.

“Welcome to responsibility, love. Smile and hug time, starting with…”

There were more than I expected, including the two uniformed coppers Mo Amin and Carol Simms, along with the suits Claire Hollis and Dave Baillie. They looked a little out of place, both in their general mood and almost as obviously in their ‘smart casual’. I glanced at Dad, and he nodded encouragement. I did my best to reproduce the smile Alys had pulled from me and walked over to their table.

I wasn’t really sure what to expect, for I knew their case load must be huge. One more missing girl, one more drunken car crash. To my relief, they turned out to be far more than ‘officially’ friendly, Mo Amin seemingly settling himself, or perhaps his liver, in for a long session. Keep that smile, Hiatt; press the flesh, say enough to confirm that you know who they are, and why they have come, wave them past the screen and move on to the next group.. Coppers, teachers, tutor (“Hi, Matt!”) and finally, finally, my own, OUR own friends, including, to my surprise, both of Kitzy’s parents. Lee looked a little shell-shocked, and as I hugged Linda hello, she whispered into my ear.

“Him indoors has decided he has a new friend to bore with men’s Topics of Meaningful Conversation. Lee might appreciate some distractions, love”

She straightened up, and in a much louder voice demanded to know where the buffet might be. I waved at the line of tables the Cow had set for us, and Linda laughed happily.

“We weren’t sure, love, so David did a posh supermarket run. Point me at the landlord so I can be sure he won’t mind, and that lot can get spreading. That your girl on the screen?”

“Yup!”

“Then me and my girl shall do the sociable bit after I have spoken with Mine Host. David! Heel! And don’t worry; we’re going to the bar first”

I got my hugs from Lee and Kitzy, as well as a supremely formal handshake from David Salter, and then Dad was waving at me with one hand and the pub door with the other… Oh! The bloody minibus. And we were running out of room. Who the hell had we asked?

“ENFYS!”

Lexie, of course, Lisa attached, unattached and re-attached as I received yet another hug, her blonde friend and her own gigantic man looking a little out of place, unlike the grinning pairs of Steph’n’Geoff and Annie’n’Eric. For a few moments, I felt like the object of a ‘pass the parcel’ game, and it was a few minutes before I noticed another couple almost hidden behind the very big man—Barry? Yes; Barry. I only really spotted them as we were all forced to move aside by Lee and Kitzy’s Dad, who had clearly bought half of the supermarket’s stock in anticipation of getting the nod to put it with the existing buffet.

It was the young man I recognised, for he had sung at the Cow before. I held a hand out to say hello, and as I did so, his name surfaced.

“Martin?”

He smiled back, nerves clearly taut.

“Marty. And my fiancée Gemma. Rest are coming up next week, and if all those bags coming in mean what I think…”

‘Gemma’ was looking smug for some reason, and that set Lexie laughing happily.

“Gem’s brought you a pressie, Enfys. Wasn’t sure if it would be acceptable, but, well”

Lisa was grinning, as was their blonde friend, and there was a quick ‘you first, no you’ between them, before Blondie got the nod. In obviously well-practised theatricality, she put the back of one hand to her forehead.

“Oh dear, says my waistline. If the stuff can’t be punted out here, we will be absolutely FORCED to dispose of it ourselves, oh, the humanity! And the calories”

She held the pose for an instant, then grinned, giving the two men a shove.

“Go and get it, boys. I think we can find a buffet. What you drinking, love?”

A few more hugs, and then Annie, Eric and Geoff were off to the big screen, Steph staying with me until they were out of earshot. Once Barry and Marty had passed us with a couple of piles of cardboard boxes, Steph gestured to the door, and led me out into the steady drizzle.

“Need to give you a little heads-up, love. Sorry to spring surprise guests on you. I mean, it’s more Lexie’s idea than mine, but I’m sort of involved. You remember Gemma?”

“Yes, very well. She was just engaged that last time, I think”

“Yes. It’s complicated, as they say on social media, so I am going to have to break some confidences here. Lexie’s lot are busy right now, but she wanted to come as a thank you to you and the Brenin. Same with Candice and Barry”

I remembered the dead look in her eyes, out on the water all day.

“Yeah. I mean, Lexie had been shot, and Candice, she was…”

“Her and Barry both, according to Annie. In a very bad way. All you need to know, apart from Candice saying she needs to let you see that she can smile”

I nodded.

“As long as she can send a few smiles over to Perth, no problems. Complications, you said?”

She sat down on one of the smokers’ chairs, the parasol keeping it a little drier than the wall.

“Long story, Enfys. I was a lot younger… Right. Gemma. You realise she is on the same bus as me and Annie?”

“And Alys, yes. She’s a lucky girl”

Steph stared at me a little flatly, then offered a sad smile.

“I suppose so, love. She was living in a refuge before her engagement, and that’s who is coming up next week. The rest of them”

“Is that the big group with the tall woman? Old Pat’s friend?”

“That’s them. Gemma’s luck was to meet them, just after her family had kicked her out of her home. Good luck, bad luck. That tall woman, Debbie, she’s married to Gemma’s boss, and I met them all… Annie and Eric put up one of the girls for her surgery, which was down in Brighton, and that is how I know Diane, because she drove the girl over to us. Annie knows Diane because, well, Di had a crush on Annie in her previous incarnation”

She chuckled.

“Told you it was complicated! Anyway, punch line is that it turns out I already knew their mate Debbie, but neither of us realised it until she was getting wed in my local church”

She paused, wiping the raindrops off her forehead with the sleeve of her fleece.

“Enfys, a lot of that history is why I do, why ANNIE and I do what we can for you and Alys. Gemma is indeed lucky, and to be honest, I think almost all of the girls that Debbie has looked after have had that luck, but there’s a lot of nastiness in their past. Bit like me and Mike”

My eyebrows rose by themselves.

“You weren’t… You and Uncle Mike?”

“What? Oh! No, not Mike. Not my sort of bloke. Sarah, yes, but not for me. No. What I mean is that I had some really bad times when I was still stuck, and I know Mike remembers those. Heavy drinking and stupid soloing aren’t good bedfellows, and neither is walking back up to the Valley on a freezing cold night while both pissed and ready to give up. I got a lift one night, from Debbie and Old Pat, and, well, it gave me a chance to think things over properly. Turning point in my life, really. Luck in meeting someone just as I was about to step right off the edge. Anyway, Debbie and me, we remember that day. Lexie and Candice both speak about you looking after them over that week in the Brenin. Alys has you. That’s the key thing here, having that person at the right time, in the right place. Some people don’t”

She shook her head.

“Where was I? Oh yes; rambling all over the place. So: Lexie is here as a friend. Candice and Barry are here as sort of emissaries for their team, as is Gemma. She’s also here as an experiment, for her and Marty, to see if they can manage a few days as a couple without all the others shielding them. And I think Alys went to Australia for the same reason, to be honest. I suppose that’s what all the rambling is leading up to, that she is flying at last. When she comes home, you might feel a need to cling. Only natural, I suppose”

Another twisted smile.

“Listen to me, trying to give relationship advice based on one relationship, and not counting. All of that rubbish I’ve said can be summed up in one word, and that’s luck. You both have it, Don’t force it”

I settled down in the seat opposite to Steph.

“What brought all that on? Heavy stuff”

“Ah, sorry. Just needed… Luck, Enfys. Had another death at work, drug swallower. Muggins here had to attend the autopsy for chain of evidence re the drugs. Also had a claim”

“Claim?”

“Asylum claim. Trans girl. She’d been flogged repeatedly. I just needed to vent”

She wiped her forehead again, and I realised that a lot of the droplets weren’t rain but tears. She caught my expression.

“Yeah, sorry. All that stuff about being on the edge, and it’s me this time. Haven’t been this down in years, but I thought I owed you a smile, and here I am, the rain on your parade”

“This is Wales. Rain is a given”

She laughed, a little more easily.

“By rights, I should have been speaking to Sally, or dragging Annie into the loo, but I thought, well, Alys. And you’re the next best thing to her. Sorry; it builds up”

She reached across for my hand, a better smile growing.

“Luck, love. That’s the word that keeps whispering to me. I’m lucky, now. Lexie has a scar to remind her how lucky she is. I look at you and Alys, and I can almost forget the girl on the slab”

“What about the flogged one?”

“Ah, in a place of safety now, probably for the first time in her life. I suppose you can’t see the light without some darkness for contrast. Thank you for letting me ramble one”

She rose to her feet.

“Counting blessings is what I am doing tonight, and when Debbie’s lot turn up, I will be shown a lot more. Come on; I need to smile at Alys before she’s off to work, and I have already encountered Gemma’s baking, so fully intend to get outside of some. We playing tonight?”

As I took Steph’s hand, I found myself channelling Ginny.

“Fuck yeah!”

So, so lucky. So honoured that she had chosen me to offload some of her pain onto. So lacking in ideas about how to ease it for her.