Confusion

Caitlyn and her Mom went home, Caitlyn grinning from ear-to-ear because she left her bra and panties in my room and knew that I couldn't tell anybody about it. I have to admit I was thoroughly distracted as we watched the rest of the movie.

"You seem restless," Mom observed when the credits started to roll.

"Yeah. Caitlyn and I were talking and I'm confused."

"What? A teenage boy talking to a teenage girl and he's confused? How shocking!"

"Mooooom!"

"Want to talk about it?"

"I dunno."

"You could maybe do a dramatic presentation, like Charades?"

"Mooooom!"

"Just a thought."

"It might get to be R rated, or maybe even X."

"Now wait a darn minute! Just what were you two doing up there?"

"All 4 feet were on the floor and our hands visible at all times."

"Yeah, but just where were your hands?"

"On the ends of our arms, of course."

"Smartass!"

Seriously, Mom. Let me tell you what happened."

So I told her. She is a good listener and when I got done she gave me a big hug.

"I can see why you're confused. What did you think about the way Ryan acted?"

"I thought it was lousy. Why do some guys have to be that way about girls?"

"If I knew that answer I'd be rich. I'd be selling books and videos to every woman on the planet."

"If you figure it out, can I get a new car for my eighteenth birthday? A Ferrari maybe?"

"I think I'd go for a limo with a good looking chauffeur."

"Can I borrow it for the Prom?"

"Of course, as long as your date doesn't leave her bra or panties in the back seat."

"Nah, I've already got a set."

"And do you have any plans for them?"

"Uh…"

"Cat got your tongue?"

"We don't have a cat."

"But you do have a bra. A fairly substantial one, since guys your age always think bigger is better."

"Mooooom!"

"Don't think I haven't noticed you have been very interested in bras for the past little while. Not that that isn't normal for a teenage boy. So are you interested in the bra or what's in the bra that interests you most?"

"Uh… Maybe both?"

"I don't think very many men would be able to admit that, especially to their mothers. I'm proud you can be honest about something that screws up so many people.

"You noticed?"

"I know my son. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Did you know your uncle Sander used to sneak my clothes when we were kids?"

"He did?"

"It was OK until he got big enough to stretch out my panties, and I told him to buy his own. Talk about having a red face!"

"Uncle Sander?"

"Yup. Him and a lot of other men. So now you have your girlfriend's bra what are you going to do with it?"

"She's not my girlfriend!"

"You could do worse. I like her mother."

"Well, I like her but I don't really know her."

"Did you get her phone number?"

"Yeah."

"Fast worker, eh? So give her a call and invite her to the movies or something."

"Mooooom!"

"OK, enough of this silliness. Go on upstairs and try on your bra, although I never understood why Sander or any man would want to wear a bra."

"Mooooom!"

Satisfaction

I went up to my room one confused kid. My mother had - not for the first time! - left me dazed with how she could read me and my deepest secrets. All this time I had thought I had been able to cover up my interest in girl's bras. I tried to be careful not to stare, not to be a pig and make any girl nervous, but Mom knew! Not only did she know, but she wasn't pissed. And my own Uncle Sander had done the same thing!

Then she goes and tells me straight out that I should take Caitlyn on a date! Up until a few minutes ago she had told me that I had to be at least sixteen before I could start dating.

Not only that, but she lets me know it's OK if I want to try on Caitlyn's bra. What was going on here? Was I dreaming or maybe losing my mind?

So I'll answer the easy question first. A few days later I learned that no, I couldn't go on a date by myself until I was sixteen, but going out with a group was OK. Then I got the I trust you lecture. All I had to do was get up the nerve to actually ask Caitlyn, or any other girl, for a date.

The harder question was should I actually try on the bra? Sure, I had been curious for a long time, but to actually do it? I dithered while I got ready for bed, and finally got under the covers, leaving the bra where it sat in the wastebasket.

That lasted maybe five minutes. I swear I could hear the thing calling to me, singing a siren song and pleading with me to put it on. I threw off the covers, skinned off my PJ tops and padded barefoot over to my desk. There it was, powder blue and waiting. I picked it up and felt it; it was some smooth, shiny fabric that felt really good. There was lace on the shoulder straps and a silly little bow where the cups met in front. Sure enough, it was my favorite kind, with the oval or ellipse at the back where the straps were.

I looked at it, wondering if I could get the snaps done up behind my back. I knew it would fit, since I took a size 34 shirt and Ryan had told us it was a size 34 bra. I suppose any real woman reading this would laugh at me, but I just put my arms through the straps and pulled it over my head. For a while I thought I was the first one to invent the sports bra - you know, the kind with no hooks - but I was a rather naive teenager

It was certainly stretchy enough that it wasn't a problem. A little wiggling and tugging at the back of the band to get it untwisted and I was finally wearing a bra.

I really don't know what I was expecting, all my thought had gone into just looking at bras and imagining what they would be like. Sometimes I had wondered what it would be like to have breasts and really need a bra, but I never really thought about what I would do if I actually got ahold of one.

About all I can say is that it felt right. It felt comfortable. I had to go into the bathroom and see what I looked like. The first thing I saw was that the cups were just hanging there and flopping. Not surprising since Caitlyn had D cup breasts. I knew from looking online that meant her breasts were four inches larger than her chest.

Now four inches isn't much for a guy to boast about when he measures the body part that most guys want to measure, but for a girl - it's certainly impressive. Anyone who has looked at Caitlyn can vouch for that.

Look at it this way - as an oval lover I knew that the human torso is pretty much an oval, with a 3:1 width to depth ratio, at least according to the all-knowing Internet. I certainly knew the formula for calculating the circumference of an oval. (It's complicated, so just take my word for it, OK?) So a 34 inch bra band would means a roughly 5.1 inch depth and about a 15.3 inch width.

Got that so far? Please don't ask me why I went to so much trouble to make these calculations, I was (and still am) a bit of a nerd. Now, if you add four inches of breast to the depth you end up with 8.5 x 15.3.

Now we know the axes, it's easy to find the area of the oval. The area = π times the minor axis radius times the major axis radius, if you want to know. After all, ovals are where this whole thing started. That ends up with an area of 61.28 for the band and 102.14 around the breasts. In other words, there's almost twice as much girl at her breasts if she has D cup breasts.

That's something a guy will notice.

My lack of D cup breasts to put in my new bra was also pretty noticeable, the fabric just sort of hung there. So I experimented, and after a while I found it takes a whole lot of socks to fill those cups and they look lumpy. But the bra still felt good on my body, so I put on my PJ tops and got into bed once more.

Surprisingly, I slept soundly and woke to the new and pleasant feeling of still wearing my bra. I liked the feeling so much that I didn't want to take it off, so I threw caution to the winds and left it on; after all Mom did know I wanted to wear it and didn't seem too upset. I did remove the stuffing in the cups.

I wore a really loose shirt with a high neckline and couldn't see anything through the fabric. I wore it the rest of the day and it didn't take long before I mostly stopped noticing it. Every so often got a delicious feeling when I realized I was wearing a bra. Life was good.

As I went upstairs to bed, Mom called out "Don't forget to put your bra in the hamper. You don't want to have it get all smelly. You can hand wash it sometime during the week if you want to wear it again."

"Uh… OK, Mom."

"Sleep tight, honey."

How do mothers know this kind of thing?

Caitlyn's Revenge

Friday after school I finally decided to hand-wash my bra and hang it up in the laundry room. I eventually figured why not? since Mom had even told me to do it. It still felt weird to have her knowing her son was wearing a bra, but she didn't say a word about it.

Nothing much interesting happened until baseball practice on Saturday. The practice was nothing spectacular, but the real action happened while we hung out after, waiting for our rides. Ryan Mondalmi was doing his usual boasting when Caitlyn came over and lit into him.

"Yo slimeball!" she hurled at him. "Coach Barros showed me the video from last week. Bet you were too stupid to realize they have security cameras in this place, weren't you?"

Ryan sort of gobbled something that wasn't too clear.

"Yeah! You didn't, did you? There are some nice pictures of a big stupid oaf picking up my gym bag. That big stupid oaf was you, you big stupid oaf. You do know that the cops would call that misdemeanor theft, right? As in perp walk, mug shots and your name in the paper for something besides playing with your balls.

"Oh! Sorry - I meant playing with baseballs. I have a feeling your balls are so small that it would take an electron microscope to find them. You know, those scientific instruments that they use to look at atoms and molecules and things too small to see with your naked eye."

By now she had everybody's attention. Big time!

"Just what did you think you would do with my clothes, big man? Did you want to wear them, maybe?" Dramatic pause. "Nah, you're too big to fit anything I wear." Another dramatic pause. "Oh wait! Maybe you could wear my panties since I have big hips and we have already established you have microballs. Do you realize that you could have gone out and bought your own panties, even gotten frilly panties in some nice pastel colors and not have to take the chance of spending a night in a cage."

Ryan's face had long passed pastel and was bright red. He still couldn't find much to say.

"I bet you didn't realize there are cameras out here, either. Like the ones that are filming us right this second. Thanks to you, pervert, everybody knows I was going to wear a blue bra after playing, but I had to go home in my sweaty sports bra since you were waving mine around like a signal flag. Did you get a microboner while you were fondling my bra? I couldn't tell from the film. What I could tell was you were trying to read the label on my bra. You can read, can't you?"

Silence.

"I guess not, you would have to wait to take it home so Mommy could read it to you, you illiterate creep." Another dramatic pause. That girl had some really good timing. "I guess that wouldn't work since you stuffed it back into my bag after you fondled my panties. Do you need to fondle lady's panties to get yourself revved up, maybe?"

By now several of the girls had come over to watch, along with just about everyone still there. Caitlyn was still on a roll and no one wanted to stop her.

"If I could offer you some advice, you'd be better off fondling some poor girl's panties in someplace less public. I can't imagine how you'd get any girl to take them off near you, let alone give them to you like the way a normal guy would do it. I guess you aren't normal, are you?"

"C-C-Caitlyn…"

Finally, Ryan broke his silence, for all the good it did him.

"At least there was one guy here who had the common decency to make sure my gym bag got back to me. Lucas here went to a lot of trouble to find me so I could get my things back, and I bet he didn't go pawing through them or waving them around on the street corners."

Well, not on the street corners, anyway.

"I'm going to be nice to you, slimeball. Heaven knows why I should, but I'm not going to prosecute. I'm going to be even nicer to Lucas since he's a gentleman, unlike some I could mention. Come on, Lucas, let's stroll off into the sunset together and leave this looser to sulk. If you play your cards right I just might let you do a little reading of some small print."

So saying, she took my arm and we walked away.