“We need to talk.”

“I have homework to do.”

Mom frowned at me. “We really need to talk.” Oliver sat down next to Mom.

I sighed and closed my text book as it was obvious neither Mom or Oliver was going to go away. “Okay. Talk about what?” I looked from Mom to Oliver and back again.

Looking at me seriously, Mom said, “You know what.”

I laughed and pointed at Mom. “Chicken butt!” Mom scowled at me. Oliver tried very hard not to crack a smile.

Angry, Mom said, “Stop acting like a child!”

Striking a pose with an air of sophistication, I said, “I must say, my dear mother. Just how exactly do you wish me to act? One moment it is demanded of me to act my age and then…”

Oliver interrupted my bad behavior with a glare that I’m sure I’ll be seeing all too often in my future and said, “Chrystal. Cut the shit. Now.”

I looked down at my hands and said quietly, “Yes, sir.”

Scowling, Mom asked, “Are you quite through?” Mom’s cheeks glowed with an anger hotter than the molten core of Chernobyl at maximum thermal runaway.

Sighing deeply, I said, “Yes, ma’am.”

Taking a deep breath, Mom said, “Actually, antics like this is one of the things we need to talk about.” Mom just glared at me for a minute. “Just because that little boy that lives next to Me-Maw thought you were hilarious doesn’t mean that it’s appropriate for a young lady to behave in such a manner.” I smiled at the memory of talking to Liam just before we left.

“Why not?” I asked innocently.

Mom frowned. “A young lady should be more demure… and not a vaudeville act.”

“I thought you wanted me to talk to boys!” I exclaimed. “That’s all I was doing!”

Oliver gesturing with his hand said, “She just wants you to tone down the comedy act, okay?”

Still frowning, Mom said, “You’re not a college frat boy. Got that? This isn’t even what I wanted to talk about.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m listening.”

Mom threw up her hands. “Where does she get this attitude?”

Oliver smirked. “I can’t imagine.”

Mom frowned. “I didn’t ask you.” She then looked intently at me. “Chrys, in a word, your behavior sucks. The wedding is a week from today! You’re the ring girl. And you act like, well, like I said, a college frat boy instead of a little lady.”

I glowered at Mom. “I was never in a fraternity and I didn’t get to grow up into being a…” I did air quotes, “… little lady so I’m having to wing it. So excuse me all to hell, okay?”

Mom fumed. “You insufferable little brat!” She turned to Oliver. “Can we rent a kid for the wedding?”

Oliver threw up his arms and shouted, “Everyone just needs to calm the fuck down!”

Mom punched Oliver in the chest. “Don’t talk like that around my daughter!”

Scowling at Mom, Oliver snarled, “Your daughter was a college frat boy, so I doubt she’s never heard that before.”

Mom was about to say something when I stuck two fingers in my mouth and blew a loud whistle. “Time out, guys. For the record, I was never in a fraternity and both of you are driving me insane!”

Mom waved her arms. “Okay, okay. The frat boy is right. Let’s just calm down. All I want is for Chrystal to behave. Chrys, you’re a very pretty young lady. I know it’s unfair for your life to change so much. But this is what we have. This wedding is very important to me…” She looked over at Oliver. “To both of us. Is it too much to ask that you act like the beautiful young lady that you are?”

“Beautiful?”

Oliver grinned. “Just as beautiful as your mother.”

“Seriously?”

Mom said, “I’d never joke about something like that. You’ll be gorgeous in your dress.”

I said, “Okay. You sold me. But just this once.”

To be continued…