“Come on, Bunky. Let’s go see what Santa brought you.”

“Huh? Mrrph?”

Mom tickled me. “Hey! Merry Christmas, Chrys. Don’t you want to see what Santa brought you?”

I heard a loud yawn behind Mom and then Uncle Dad said, “Do you guys always get up this early on Christmas morning?” I shook my head. Not since I was a little gi… um boy. Oh.

I started to get out of bed. I asked Mom, “Did Santa come? Did he eat his cookie?”

Mom, who was far more excited than she should have been said, “Yes he did!”

Oliver said in a grumpy voice, “You should have left him a beer.”

Standing outside the room, Aunt Catherine said with a yawn, “Do we all have to get up now?”

From the hall, Oliver’s mom said, “Hey, I think we had a visitor last night.” I joke around about Oliver’s parents, but they are nice people who just want to make Christmas morning exciting for a little girl. So I’m going to play along.

Mom giggled, “Take Me-maw’s hand so you don’t get lost on the way to the living room, honey.” Oliver’s parents wanted me to call them Me-maw and Pee-paw. Sadly, my and Mom’s actual grandparents were no longer with us. They both were killed in a crash during a motorcycle race. It was a side-hack race with Grandma as the monkey. Both at seventy-five years old, Dad had urged them to retire. Years before that, Grandpa raced flat-track. A couple of their trophies sit above the fire place. I smiled that I remembered that.

As we approached the living room, I have to admit I was curious what the odd dark shapes were. Then Pee-paw turned on a lamp, revealing a Barbie doll house, a large doll almost as big as me, reminding me of a female Chucky and a large stuffed pink bear that I’ve seen being sold at a local restaurant. I had an irrational fear of the giant doll.

Laughing I ran up to the doll house and said, “Look, Mom! A Barbie doll house!” Okay. I’ll admit I asked for that.

The doorbell rang. It was still pitch black outside. Looking perplexed, Oliver answered the door. His face suddenly lit up with a big grin.

“George! What a surprise! What are you doing down this way?” There was a woman and some bratty looking boy a little older than me with George.

George shook Oliver’s hand. The woman just looked embarrassed. The boy picked his nose.

Grinning, George said, “Hey Ollie. I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it down this way for your wedding, so I thought we’d drop by for Christmas.” My aunt just stood to one side with her arms folded while looking annoyed.

Oliver grinned and pointed at me and Mom. “Guys, come here and meet my cousin George and his wife Molly and their son Butch. And guys, this is my fiancée Denise and her beautiful daughter Chrystal.”

Mom smiled and said, “You can call me Dede.”

Butch kicked my doll house and said, “Girls are stupid.” Considering who the women in this house are choosing to procreate with, I can’t really argue with him.

From his place sitting on the couch, Pee-paw said, “Since everyone is here, let’s open the presents!”

Uncle Dad chuckled, “Good idea, Dad. I’ll play Santa this year.” He then pulled a wrapped box from under the Christmas tree. “Looks like Dad goes first.”

I sat on the floor near Mom while Oliver passed out the presents. I kept hoping the large doll was actually a robot that would decide to protect me and take out Butch. But alas and alack that didn’t happen.

I have to say, I made out like a bandit. All things considered. I got a ton of Barbie clothes (and yes I asked for those. So sue me.), A Ken doll and some friend of Barbie, two new dresses for me, an AKIRA pajama set that who the hell knows how Oliver got hold of such a thing. Oliver is now my new favorite Uncle Daddy. It has a great picture of Kaneda on his motorcycle. Mom was not happy. I also got the prerequisite multiple pairs of panties, some cute earrings and several bracelets. Me-Maw got me an eye shadow palette. Mom told her I’m not allowed to wear make-up yet but she’d make an exception for today. When I unwrapped the eye shadow and held it up for everyone to see, Butch simply uttered “Yuck” Butch was more astute than I gave him credit for.

After all the presents were distributed, Oliver helped Pee-paw pick up all the shredded wrapping paper. George just sat in the recliner drinking a glass of the adult tainted egg nog.

Mom took my hand and said, “Come on honey. Give Mommy a hand in the kitchen.” Me-maw and Aunt Catherine were busy preparing the breakfast, providing me with a preview of the domesticated nightmare awaiting me in the future.

“What do you need me to do?” I asked dutifully.

Mom pointed at a glass bowl and a stack of a egg packages. “You remember how to crack an egg, right?”

I hefted an egg in my hand and scowled at Aunt Catherine. “Yeah, I know how to crack an egg.”

My aunt took a step back from me and exclaimed, “Don’t you dare!”

I then tilted my head and gave her an innocent look. “What do you mean, Aunt Catherine?”

Pointing at me, she said, “I have my eye on you.” I giggled and starting breaking eggs into the bowl.

Me-maw looked over at Mom and said, “Dee, Cherish these moments with your daughter.”

Catherine snorted a laugh and said, “Yeah, because once she discovers boys, you’ll probably rarely see her.”

Mom frowned slightly. “Thank you for that moving sentiment.”

I only dropped one egg. On Catherine’s foot.

After everyone had stuffed themselves silly with breakfast and sitting around looking bored, George sat up and said, “Hey guys what do you think of this. While the women are cooking the turkey and pies, how about we go see that new Tommy Kincaid movie No Time for Samurai. Ollie, I think it even has some of that Japanese music you like.”

Oliver said, “Hey cool. I’ve wanted to see that. Honey? Would you like to go?”

Mom shook her head. “I’m not going to abandon your mother to cook everything by herself. Chrystal and I will just stay here and help out.”

I turned away from playing with my new doll house and said, “Mom! I’d like to go. I’ve heard this is Tommy Kincaid’s best movie yet.”

Mom shook her head again. “Sorry honey. I’ve heard it’s very violent, so no. You can’t go see it. But you can help Me-maw and me.” My favorite manga right now is Gunsmith Cats where a young girl blows people up with hand grenades. I think I can handle an action flick. I sighed.

Aunt Catherine shrugged and said, “Yeah, what the hell. I’ll go.”

Looking embarrassed, Molly looked over at Mom and said, “I think I’ll just stay and help you guys.”

George stood up. “Movie starts in forty-five minutes. Let’s go guys. Butch, go pee.”

I pointed at Butch and whined, “Mommm! I wanna go!”

Mom shook her head. “I said no.” Butch chuckled.

I wanted to throw a tantrum but I knew after Mom says no, it’s over.

To be continued…