-==-

Glorbulon looked at Smebulak and smiled. “Isn’t ze just going to love it?” Ze asked, their eye twinkling.

“Oh, absolutely!” Smebulak agreed, wiggling zis proboscis in affirmation. “Flagglezox has been asking us for one for years! But how did you find one?”

“Well, don’t tell anyone but--”

“Oh, Glorbulon, you didn’t!”

“Yep!” Glorbulon crowed, raising three pseudopods in the universal gesture of confession while making the associated trumpeting sound with his third nose. “I went down to the planet myself and found one, wandering around all alone in the middle of the woods.”

“But what if they already have an owner?”

“I checked for tags or a transmitter. All they had on ‘em was one of those little tracking devices they use for catch-and-release. A cefoon?”

“Cell phone,” Smebulak reminded zim, with a two-mouthed smile. “I still think it was a bad idea for us to seed their planet with those horrid things.”

“Oh, shush. The poor creatures aren’t even smart enough to know what they are, so it’s harmless.”

Smebulak gave a shrug with zis pseudopods, the one that always made Glorbulon’s mating udder tingle. “Oh well. I see you picked up some outfits for the little cutie as well.”

“Well, you have to, don’t you? And the poor thing was wearing green and orange when I found it. I certainly couldn’t present them to Flaggie like that!”

“Oh, certainly! This is much nicer. It reminds me of some of those primitive broadcasts they send out sometimes.”

Glorbulon and Smebulak turned as one at the sound of an air lock opening, then smiled at one another as they hid, leaving their gift sitting in its cage in the middle of the floor for Flagglezox to find.

-==-

Jonathan Reese sat on the floor and sighed.

When the strange, eldritch horror had first nabbed him, he’d been absolutely terrified. Truth be told, he was STILL terrified, but for different reasons.

He wasn’t being eaten, and that was a plus. His gun was long gone, lying somewhere in the Tennessee hills where he’d been found. That was bad.

His clothes were gone, along with his cell phone and survival tools. That was also bad. He was still dressed, at least… but he could hardly call that good.

Turning his head, he checked himself out in the mirror the strange creature had dropped in the room with him, with the little beads on a wire above the top edge. His bushy red beard and thinning hair had both been washed and teased out, with bows tied into them, and his beer belly strained against the material of the frilly cotton candy pink dress he was wearing. He considered trying once again to take the damn thing off, but knew it was futile.

Instead, Jonathan wandered over to the bowls in the corner to inspect their contents. One of them was filled with what looked like Cheetos, and the other with a substance that smelled an awful lot like Mountain Dew. Reaching out and testing both proved his suspicions correct.

He munched and drank and considered that perhaps this wouldn’t be so bad after all, while behind him, the airlock door opened, and a loud trumpeting squeal echoed through the air around him.

-==-

NOTES:
Okay, so yes, this is about 1/3 the length necessary to be a legal entry, but I'm not trying to win anyway, so it's fine. Just a silly little piece to get a few chuckles.

*hugs*