Mommy's Little Fudge Packer
By Melanie E.
Inspired by a recent comment by our own Gwen Brown.
My mom had always been a bit of an air head, but even I had never thought she would say what she did that morning.
I was halfway to the doors of my school when she leaned out the car window and yelled "Have a good day my adorable little fudge packer!"
The car pulled away as everyone around me stopped what they were doing and stared at me silently. Finally Steve Hanson, one of the football players, walked up to me.
"I din't know you were gay, Jimmy," he said, giving me a once-over.
"I'm not," I said with a sigh. The little bells on the edge of my Christmas skirt jingled and I knew he got a good long look at the fake cleavage I had on display as I bent over and pulled out one of the dozens of small, colorful cellophane packages I'd brought in the box I was carrying and offered it to him. "Merry Christmas, Stevie. Want some fudge?"
-==-
Just something very silly I came up with on the spur of the moment. Thanks Gwen!
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Comments
that is silly
I like it
;))
I would guess that,
Mom has no idea what the other meaning is.
*giggles*
>i< ..:::
I am a printer, and make
I am a printer, and make boxes for a candy company in the city I live in. They make fudge on one of the production lines a few days per month. Some random employees, helpers, go wherever needed on production days to box and wrap product, help out on lines, etc.
On fudge production days, it's true, there are going to be two or three dudes who are, by simple definition of what they are doing those days, Fudge Packers.
'Tis the source of great joking and silly jibes every single time they make fudge :) . "Hey, leave the fudge packers alone, they're only doing their job!" "Hey, that's my portion of the conveyer belt, quit packing my fudge, pack your own!" Etc., etc., etc.
Melanie
You are terrible. I saw the title and I thought, that's not Melanie's usual type of story. Thank you for a good giggle before I make my way to dance class.
*great big hugs*
Amethyst
Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3
Thanks for giving the story a shot, everyone!
The title is misleading, to be sure, but hey, it's only dirty if you make it so!
Gwen had mentioned "chocolate packing stories" in a comment, and at first I was just going to respond with some snark about the underrepresentation of the candy making industry as a whole on the site... but then this little idea popped into my head.
Thanks again, peeps. I'd expected little to no response on this, so your comments are making my day :D
Melanie E.
Mom's a Bitch
Or an airhead.
Jill
It's only as dirty as you make it.
There's nothing in the story that relies on "fudge packer" being crude to make sense. After all, when you were a teenager your mom leaning out shouting any kind of term of endearment at you would be embarrassing in a public place, and Jimmy DID wear a girl's Christmas outfit to school, so there were bound to be questions....
Melanie E.
Only read this as Rasufelle posted it
Could have been worse if Jimmy is an 'Adorable, little fudge packing Fairy'
Rhona McCloud
I'm not sure. ...
I'm not sure which is funnier, the story, or the comments. :D
I'm still giggling even after 10 minutes.
Stupidity is a capital offense. A summary not indictable.