By Melanie E.
A piece of clothing doesn't have to be extraordinary to be perfect.
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I bought my favorite bra about three years ago.
It's nothing particularly fancy, really. A black underwire in a 38B, it has soft cups that are stretchy, not padded, and just a bit of a spray of lace, down the front of the straps and the inside seams of the cups. It cost me about 20 bucks online, from Walmart even.
I bought it because I already knew the brand and style. I have the same bra in white (36B, no lace. A bit too tight right now.) I also have it in nude (40B, a bit loose even on the tightest hooks.) It doesn't make my breasts look two sizes larger, or give me cleavage for days, or even make me look much more shapely than any other bra I have.
So why is it my favorite?
It's my favorite because of its fit. The band is just the right size, doesn't squeeze or chafe my ribs and doesn't pinch my back. The straps are just the right length and just the right spacing apart, sitting at that perfect spot just behind the points of my collarbone and never slipping. Nothing rides or bites or scratches or twists. The stretch to the cups means that I never have to deal with "muffin tits," but still feels supportive. The material feels nice but stays cool, and okay, the lace does make me feel just a *touch* sexy when I wear it.
So, no. It's not the world's best bra, perhaps. There are undoubtedly finer examples of the article in the world, sure. Eventually it will no longer fit me so perfectly, and when it doesn't I will need to find a new favorite bra to replace it.
But why worry about any of that, when it's my perfect bra for right now?
I have a lot of problems in my life. Problems with my body, problems with my wardrobe, problems with my head and heart. It's a constant struggle to make things work, to move forward and find reasons to be happy when it feels like the entire world around me is engineered to make me feel like I can never be good enough, be talented enough, or skinny enough, or masculine or feminine enough.
I could spend every waking moment obsessing about all of that, but I spend too many of them doing so already. Instead, is it not better to look at the things you have in life that are positives, and focus on those? After all, a positive attitude is one of the most important parts of motivation, so how can you fix the bad if you can't recognize the good?
Yeah, life has a lot of problems, but it has a lot of blessings too.
Good friends.
Supportive communities.
Beautiful things to admire and aspire too.
And, if you're lucky, one perfect-fitting, favorite bra to remind you that, occasionally, everything will work out just like you want it to.
-End-
NOTES:
Sorry, just a little thing that came to me and I wanted to share for some reason.
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Comments
very nice
thank you very much for sharing it
Grrrrr
You find the perfect bra and a few years later you try to order the same bra. And, it's been "improved" and no longer is perfect.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Ain't it the truth?
Changing times, changing fashions, changing manufacturing techniques. It might have the same style, but be made in a different factory, from a different material lot, and that alone changes everything about how it fits and feels.
That's one of the biggest flaws with clothing, and one of the things that make them fascinating. Every piece is unique, and it's not just manufacturer to manufacturer or designer to designer you should try everything on, but even identical pieces from the same maker, since you can never tell when a rogue mis-stitch or a tiny change in the percentages of a cotton-synthetic blend will completely alter the final result.
Melanie E.
Good for you
It's impossible to find the right bra. Each manufacturer has a different idea what a designated size means. 34B from one might cramp like a 34A from another company. Even the same mfg can't get it right on different styles. There 34B in an underwire might fit like a 34D in one of their other styles. I strongly suspect they aren't all coming from the same supplier. Some from Taiwan, China, India, etc but all carry the mfg tag for the same style bra.
Do they do it on purpose so women are buying more bras trying to find the right fit and comfort?
Hugs Melanie
Barb
If men think life is a challenge, they should try it from the other side.
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
Bra extenders... a good "tool"
I have found bra extenders to be a fantastic way to get a better fit & feel. I know I'm a 40 B so I buy a 38 B and use an extender. I could be wrong but the cup size of a 38 B seems smaller than a 40 B. -- This works for me.
I like an A cup for times that I don't want a bulge of fabric being detected when I'm in boy mode clothes. I want the bra but not the attention a bra on a man can attract.
Does anyone else wear a bra under their male shirts? I would think this is fairly common among our group.
Dee
Donna
Bra Under Boy Clothes
Hello Donna, I'm late to the party on this one. Yes, I often wear a bra under boy clothes. A "real" one (back hook, underwires) in winter under a sweatshirt or thick flannel shirt, and a pullover "bralette" under a dress shirt in warmer weather.
Janice
Interesting Read
I enjoyed this little piece. On first glance, it doesn't mean much. On second reading, I think it says a whole lot, especially to a crossdresser or trans girl. A bra is a really powerful symbol of femininity, and having one that fits and looks "just right" is a wonderful thing. It doesn't matter if you're wearing it hidden under boy clothes, or with breast forms under a nice blouse or dress; it's such a nice feeling to wear a bra that is just right.
Janice
An interesting piece
I sometimes struggle to find a fitting bra and I've been wearing one for forty years and more. It wasn't quite as important when the breasts were artificial but it's been me for a long time and that sometimes means you get rubbed or it rides up. I also have a slight curvature caused by possible injury when I was younger, called Scheuemann's disease., so my chest is slightly concave and thus bras are difficult to find that fit. I have lost weight recently and the bra I now have is an old one that now fits for all-day wear.
Sports bras are something else and I bought a very comfy one until I tried to take it off, the thing rolled up into a defensive position and by the time I got it off the air was blue and I felt exhausted. It did that a few times, rolling up which makes it difficult to grab hold of.
I had some bra vests which were comfy too but they aren't made anymore, a bra with a vest attached, not one of those horrible things in a supportive vest that slowly strangles you and the elastic cuts into you from all angles. It did give me some cleavage while I was wearing it. Underwire bras can present problems of their own. If the underwire decides it isn't going to stay put and sticks in your boob, it really is most uncomfortable and once or twice I've had to remove it in the car and feel my breasts slipping and sliding most uncomfortably. I've had dozens of bras in forty odd years but only a few have been comfortable all day. When you have to wear them all day, at first it feels like you've really arrived, then it feels like the most uncomfortable thing you've worn and begin to wish you hadn't bothered. Then at the end of the day, wearing a comfortable one makes me feel good supporting the 'girls' without discomfort, and without making me pay for my femaleness.
Angharad