I was late in waking up come Sunday morning; I simply showered, keeping my hair from getting wet. I was in Laura mode as I went out to the kitchen for breakfast. My father said Mom and Rachel had gone to church and then do something together afterward.

Dad said, “So I think it is you and me that are left to be together. It’s supposed to be a nice day; I was wondering if you would be open to canoeing?”

“I’m open to doing it if you don’t mind me staying in girl mode?” I said.

Dad said fine and I ate some breakfast and then changed as I usually did when going canoeing. But this time it was in a two-piece bathing suit and used #15 sunblock as I wanted a little more color to my skin, but not sunburn. Then I put on a linen blouse with some needlework decorating the front. I wore a beige pair of jean shorts. I borrowed one of Rachel's waist belt bags it was a colorful pastel orange with two compartments, to keep my wallet with a little cash, a debit card, and Rachel’s neatly folded parka was in the other pocket with some wipes, bug spray, and additional sunblock. I had on a pair of socks and hiking shoes. I was not a female model for the outdoor world, but much to my father’s chagrin, I was Laura and not Lucas. We decided not to take our canoe but knew where we could rent one and have a fifteen-mile river trip. We were early in our trip when I took off my blouse and showed that I had the on the upper half of my swimsuit.

About halfway to our destination, Dad steered us onto a small sandy spot. We had already been talking but I knew Dad wanted to talk face to face. Now and then he shook his head and I knew he was wondering about the daughter in front of him being his son. Since I was twelve my father was not in favor of my acting as a model for mom any longer. I know he had done his research and that my being a girl is not something my mother did to me. Dad complimented me, saying, “You make an attractive daughter, but I feel the need to tell you I think you are also a neat son. And if I had my wish it would be that you get back to being Lucas. You already know there are women out there like Debra who would accept this side of you to show through now and then.” We talked about how the world is different, but traditionally I would be the one to carry on the family name. And that it was not certain which if any gender identifiers were going to emerge from my more androgynous body. “Mom had said your hips have widened a little, your complexion is more that of a young woman, and your acerolas appear to be developing. I know now is the time in your life that we should use blockers or hormone therapy. That is if we are to be proactive in your development. I would rather it be as Lucas, but I will be accepting and supportive if you decide this is the person you want to be.” Dad was up and walking around outside the canoe. And I knew it meant he/we had talked as much as he was comfortable with for now.

We were about to the point we were to put in to end our trip, and I saw Mom and Rachel at the dock. I stood up, stepped out of my shorts, dove into the water, and swam to the dock. That was a tradition for both Rachel and me.

There were probably others at the landing area that saw me and could tell I may not be the traditional girl. I went for a short walk in the park. Soon a woman, Maude Miller, was walking beside me. She spoke up, “Is it alright if I told you that you’re a brave person? When I was a young woman I had a friend like you, but I and others weren’t comfortable supporting and encouraging her. He/she became much of a loner, and I moved on with my life. You make an attractive woman, and while I know there is more to it than appearance, I needed to tell you that. I hope I haven’t embarrassed you.” Maude and I walked and talked more than I had planned, but it was still much too short. We exchanged some information and may stay connected if we want.

Dad and I rode back with Mom and Rachel to get Dad’s car and then went home. Dad and I both went to shower and refresh ourselves. We would go out for dinner as a family.

I started the school week in girl mode; it was not as the principal preferred, but I was allowed the room to be me. More friends and other students noticed I had a tan. Usually, I’m used to not being seen, so this is different for me as well. I’m not fully comfortable getting the attention of others.

It was a bit awkward when after lunch both Debra and Andrew were wanting time with me. It was more of a surprise when Andrew thanked Debra for helping me to find myself. He said, “For a long time I was confused, because I felt attracted to Lucas, but saw him as a Tomboy, not an actual boy. I didn’t know that you already saw this side of her and were supportive.”

I broke into the conversation, “Don’t go thanking her and assume I chose you over her. I am still finding myself. A prom is a big event, but it does not define my relationships down the road.”

Debra smiled at both of us, “I am thankful that Drew acknowledges me, and that you are standing up for our relationship.” She turned to Drew, “Laura and I have already agreed our going to our prom with our dates should stay as it is. We don’t think the prom will dictate our futures.”

“What I am interested in knowing, though it might not be my business, is if you truly see Laura be a girl and yourself as straight or gay?”

Drew said, “I am not interested in Lucas at all, and I’m hoping he’s finally embracing himself as a transgender woman and in time would fully transition. I know that is ultimately his decision.”

Tiffany intrudes on our being together, saying, “I just want to interrupt you and find out if Laura’s opening to going shopping after school today or tomorrow.”

I am thankful for a break from the more serious discussion. “People have seriously been talking or giving opinions all day; yes, I could use a break. Shopping would be good.”

Debra breaks her mood and she too wants to go along. Drew said, see you later and disappeared.

Walking to my next class Tiff asked me, “Do you think your Mom could alter a gown for Michele Harkin for the prom? She has been asked to the prom but can’t afford a nice gown. My older sister has one, but it would need some alterations and be updated.”

I responded, “I’m not sure how full my Mom’s schedule is but Michele should call my mother and tell her I hope she could help.”

Michele would go window shopping with us and then we’d stop at my house on the way home. My mom had agreed to meet with Michele then. Before shopping, we stopped at Tiffany’s to pick up her sister’s gown from two years ago. It is funny that both Tiff’s sister and Michele Harkin have the first same name.

It was funny for the four of us to go shopping and that it was only me who felt the need to buy new pair of designer jeans. The jeans were tight-fitting and a little sexy compared to my regular good-girl look. Michele mentioned, “It’s like that girl in Grease who changed from a goody, goody and picked up an attitude.”

Someone mentioned that the actress just died who played the character in Grease.

Debra was due home but she came with us to see my mom and talk to her about her helping Michele. My mom saw a problem with the old tooling of the gown. She said, “If you don’t mind changing the white tooling for pink chiffon; I know I have the needed material. The alteration will be easy enough. Would you want it at the length it is now or shortened for this year’s fashion?”

Michele said, “I haven’t even told you, but I have trouble affording the alterations, let alone buying new material.”

My mother said, “You’re a friend of Laura’s so I understood it to be without cost.”

Michele said, “But I haven’t been a friend to Laura or Lucas? I don’t want to deceive you.”

“You said, Laura, recommended you call me that’s enough for me.”

My Mom had my sister Rachel call for Chinese and she took Michele and the gown to be measured and pinned for alteration. Mom knew Michele’s mother, Carol Harkin, and called her to come over afterward. Michele Harkin is a size bigger and has bigger breasts than Michele Newcomb, which made for a challenge but nothing my mother, a professional seamstress, couldn’t handle.

Though my parents are still together and happy, it wasn’t always so. My Mom now has a deeper appreciation for Mrs. Newcomb and Carol Harkin. I didn’t know that Carol and Mom were old friends.

The night ended with a request that I model my prom gown for everyone.

It also led me to be the one to model the dress for Michele. Mom said, “That will solve the problem of Michele Harkin’s modest breasts.”

Michele loved the basic dress and like my mom thought the present tooling was showing its age and that the gown had been stored away. Michele hadn’t known I had modeled for my mother so she thought it was funny that I was wearing the dress. It was more so when my mother pulled out the pink chiffon material, cut a hole for the neck area, and placed the material over me and the gown to show how it might look.

Michele asked, “Is this how Lucas became Laura?”

It was explained how my mom began using a special mannequin form and then my older sister and now me. “We didn’t know at the time that Lucas had already been getting into Debra’s clothing. He also liked playing with Debra’s games, and dolls, and he play house.”

Michele said, “You or your husband must have tried to stop him. Did you ever feel guilty that you’ve helped to make him into a girl?”

“Yes, for a long time, but then he did it in secret. I stopped using him and he had become a sadder and more w

ithdrawn person when he was just Lucas. Some tihttps://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/sites/all/modules/bueditor/ic... had passed before it came out from his sister that he was happier when he could be his girl self. Looking back, we could tell even as a toddler Laura was there, we just hadn’t understood that yet. That Laura has a happier disposition than Lucas even now, brings some comfort and confirmation.”

I spoke up, “I don’t see it happening but if I ever changed, and wanted to be Lucas full-time, I’m sure I’d have my family’s support.”

The others were surprised how much my mother was able to accomplish that night in starting to help

Come morning, when I was to get ready for school I decided I would be Laura then and until the prom was over. Tuesday when I dressed as Laura, my sister Rachel came into my room and sat down on the edge of my bed. She said, “May I ask something?”

I turned and smile, “Always, what do you want to ask?”

“I get this feeling you’re my sister from now on. You seem comfortable as Laura. I just wanted to say I love you as a sister, am I right?”

I smiled again, “Yes, I like being a sister, having girlfriends who are friends that I can enjoy time with. I’m excited about going to the prom with Drew. Don’t get me wrong; I like him, but if I’m going to have a boyfriend, it will be my choice not his with Mom’s blessing.” The lavender dress is as beautiful as I dreamed it would be. Between the stockings being the best I’ve ever worn and the movement of the gown as I danced or walked, it gave me feelings a boy never expected to have.

Drew went out of his way to make it a wonderful night, as I did for him. We were around his friends more than mine. I got along well with their dates. Marti was Jake’s date. Jake was a nice guy, but she came with him as something their mothers wanted. She laughed when I told her about Drew and my gown.

We agreed that my mom was a great seamstress, and she made a beautiful gown from what I had told her. When Marti put two and two together and realized I had been Landon, she was very impressed. “I’m glad I met you before I knew what I know now. I have no problem believing you are truly a girl. But if I knew that before I got to know you, I’m afraid I might have misjudged you.”

Our hug was one of the highlights of the night. I had made another friend who was a girlfriend.

Prom day was special: going to the salon, Suzanne Howie, my beautician greeted me at the door with a smile. It was like we had chemistry working together, and I could confide with her, “What would you think if tonight I became Laurie? I think Laura is too formal, I feel like I should be Laura Wilder, but I just want to be me!”

Suzanne said, “Great, call me Suzy, I think Laurie is a person looking to enjoy her life.” She put in several hair extensions that gave me a much fuller head of hair and put it into a beautiful style. She showed me two pins I could pull out if to let my hair down.

I was home by 1:00 p.m., and Mom and Rachel helped me to get dressed into my prom gown with all the accessories and my heels.

To be continued…