I know in some ways Melanie's motivations lack depth of explanation, but as it is the novel is almost 130,000 words long. That's pushing the line for story length of what readers will find tolerable to commit to. I know others have written longer stories, (I'm looking at you, Angharad!) but they're the exception, not the rule. (that and I don't have that kind of time available being a full-time mother and housewife!)

Writing for me is hard. It's an arduous process of writing a snippet here and then jumping to write another snippet from 2 chapters earlier... then fixing it all to make a cohesive story after the fact. That's why I can't start publishing a story before it's compete. My head is geared toward numbers. I can do calculus literally in my sleep and without even thinking through the equation... it just comes easily to me. Words by comparison are a mess. This comment took almost an hour to write and it's only a few paragraphs.

Melanie's motivations are deeply rooted in the way she was raised and what she did with that as an adult. Her mother was harsh and intolerant of anything that she didn't personally agree with. That made Melanie want to be different, but she fell into the trap of thinking that it was her mother's conservative ideology that made her so impossible to get along with, so all she changed was her ideology without changing the real problem... an underlying intolerance toward those with differing viewpoints. Melanie became just like her own mother. Even if I had the time though, I wouldn't write Melanie's story. It doesn't have a happy ending. :^/

Hope you enjoyed my stories and I'll be back soon with my next one!

Hugs,
Roberta

I left the Epilogue open-ended so that each reader could "finish the story" however they liked.

Does Joss embrace being a woman for Jennifer? Some readers would like the idea of Joss finally learning that he likes being a woman and, with Jennifer's support, finishes what 'her' parents started... others wouldn't care for that. Still others might see his relationship with Jennifer never working out because she's a lesbian and he isn't a woman at heart, and he ends up with someone else entirely. (Tracy maybe? How about David?)

What kind of relationship does Joss have with his father Fred? Some readers would like to see Fred divorcing Melanie and becoming heavily involved in his life. Others might even see him becoming involved with Judy, his son's adopted mother. Still others might see him bringing Melanie around and redeeming her. (my personal favorite... but then I'm a sucker for a good redemption story)

Then there is the question of Joss's relationship with Pastor Roberts... Hank and Joyce Edwards... Tracy and David Edwards... etc. What about Grace? Was his vision just an illusion or is she really his guardian angel now? I left a lot of that open-ended so the reader can imagine it however they like.

So the only answer I can give is... the rest of the story is whatever you make of it. If it entertained and made you think, it served its purpose. ;^)

Hugs,
Roberta

Joss's journey was hard... but then no harder than the one many of us had to endure... and in many cases significantly easier. He was never assaulted... he was never raped or molested... he was never beaten by either his parents or peers... he only really had a few kids in Middle School who gave him a hard time about transitioning... he retained the ability to have his own children later in life... he became a successful artist... and the only bigotry he faced was from a few ineffectual idiots.

In a lot of ways this was less "The Road to Hell" and more "The Road to Severe Discomfort". So many people have it so much harder... many of them read this story.

First World Problems.

I had to bite my tongue (or is that my typing fingers? :^Þ ) several times when you kept asking about Jennifer! ::giggle:: I had a secret smile on my lips every time!

I am glad you enjoyed the story though and hope you will enjoy my next one as well! (making good progress there)

Hugs,
Roberta

"Why Joss didn't even think about escape away from parents?"

That's an excellent question. In point of fact, he did think of that. In Chapter 3 - A Girl's Reputation Josh says,

"Honestly, it's not like I asked for any of this to happen! If I could see a way out of it, I'd take it in a heartbeat! Right now the only way out I see is turning eighteen and running for the hills!"

And again in Chapter 27 - You Can Never Go Home Again he said,

"[I want to g]o back in time six years and run away from home!"

He did want to escape what was happening to him, but at the same time he truly did love his parents. He was also suffering under a condition known as 'learned helplessness'... he felt powerless to do anything; that even running away wouldn't get him out of the situation he was in. (runaways in the US are almost always returned to their parents or guardians unless evidence of abuse is apparent)

"It's a little strange for me that after the Josh's suicide attempt, no one remembered Healys to try contact them."

The only ones who knew where the Healys moved to was Joss and Pastor Roberts, and only Joss had done the research to track them down to a specific address and phone number. Dr. Benson would have no reason to track them down since the people he had immediately available could corroborate the information in Joss's suicide email, (Joss's parents would happily brag about throwing the Healys out) so getting info from the Healys wouldn't add to his analysis of Joss's mental stability. Everyone else involved (Pastor Roberts, the Edwards, Judy, or Joss's parents) would have no reason to search for the Healys. Why reach out to a family that has already been through this once before? What good would it do? What could they add to the situation?

"why didn't she ... remind Josh that someone he knows has already tried to commit suicide? And about promise Josh asked Jenny for? ... Out of sight, out of mind?"

Grace wouldn't need to remind Joss of it. He knew. Even as he was popping pills, he read the letter Jenny sent him just before she made her attempt saying exactly why she was going to do it. He also never promised her that he wouldn't do it... he only extracted that promise from Jenny... and she didn't reciprocate.

"And than mr. Roberts. He knew about Josh's feelings to Jenny and how Josh took news about her. Wouldn't it be a good idea to call Jenny or Vicky to fight Josh's depression?"

If you mean after Joss went to live with Pastor Roberts, Joss only stayed with him 2-3 weeks before he left to go live with the Edwards family... and he only started getting seriously depressed after moving to the Edwards house. By the time the Pastor knew about Joss's depression, he was back on HRT and recovering... and going back on HRT created a rift between the two and they stopped communicating for a while.

"don't understand "too late" for what?"

That was sort of left to the reader to fill in for themselves, but what I had in mind is that it would have been too late to put him on the right path to his "happy ending" with Jennifer.

If the accident had never happened, Grace would have started getting sick soon after Prom... and Joss would have still been stuck living with his parents as Jocelyn for the next year as he watched her slowly die. Finishing High School as Jocelyn and then losing Grace to cancer, he would have never tried to commit suicide, (she would have made him promise to move on and not give up) which means he would have never broken his 'learned helplessness', never pushed himself to get into Art School, and just drifted through life without ever finding peace with himself and never reconnecting with Jennifer.

That or any number of scenarios could have taken place... but he wouldn't have ended up as Judy's adopted son and his entire life thereafter would be different. He wouldn't get his "happy ending" with Jenny.

"And yet, after all, I'm happy to say this isn't the Road to Hell. (or I dont' take get it correctly again :) - eng isn't my native language)"

"The Road to Hell is paved with good intentions." is an English idiom. It refers to the idea that just because you mean well doesn't mean the end result will be good. Good intentions aren't enough... you have to think things through and ask, "What could go wrong if I do this?" The book title is taken from that as there are many examples of this throughout the story:

• Josh's parents had "the best of intentions" in making Joss 'accept' being TG... but the end result was nearly causing his death and losing him as their child.
• Tracy had "the best of intentions" when she tried to make Joss dress like a girl for the first time... but ended up ruining their friendship.
• Jennifer's parents had "the best of intentions" when they forced a confrontation with Joss's parents... but ended up nearly making their daughter kill herself.
• Grace had "the best of intentions" when she tried to pretend to be interested in her blind date for her grandmother... only to very nearly ruin her relationship with Joss.
• Pastor Roberts had "the best of intentions" when he tried to force the congregation to accept Joss as a boy... only to make it so he couldn't go anymore.

All of these situations were well meaning, but invariably backfired because they were all actions made under a false premise. In each case the person thought they were doing the right thing, but failed to account for the possibility that something bad might happen if their base assumptions were wrong.

You can also look at it from the aspect that Joss actually did descend into a kind of 'living hell'... but was able to escape, so the book title has a sort of double meaning.

Thank you so much for your compliments and interest in my story! ::blush:: It was a difficult journey, but one that I think needed to be told.

Hugs,
Roberta