Link: The Road to Hell Title Page and Description

--

Joss was happier than he'd ever thought possible. In the days that followed Thanksgiving, he'd started staying over at Judy's house more and more often. While he cared for the Edwards family and knew they loved him for himself, he loved Judy far more than his own mother. Once she became a licensed foster home in mid-December, Judy took over care of Joss officially, moving him from one house to the other with Joyce and Hank's blessings.

Of the three families that had taken him in, it was with Judy that the lost boy flourished. While Pastor Roberts and Susan had offered spiritual comfort, and Hank and Joyce Edwards offered financial stability and freedom, he didn't need those things. With Judy's unconditional love and support, along with the strict discipline of a Marine's wife, Joss's attitude turned from one of getting by and drifting from day-to-day to one where he felt he had a purpose; to make Judy proud of him.

For Judy's part, having Joss in her home was like having a little piece of her daughter alive again. She'd been very much alone in the seven months since Grace died. Having been on a date with Greg when the call had come telling her that her daughter was dead, out of misplaced guilt she'd never seen him again. There were times when she felt pangs of sadness when Joss would remind her of her lost daughter, but those were more than made up for in the times she and Joss would share together as mother and child. The two bonded over their common loss and found in each other what they needed; solace, togetherness, and forgiveness.

Getting ready for Christmas was a new experience for Joss. While he'd seen Christmas trees in the Edwards home growing up, he'd never been able to take part in the holiday that his parents forbade. Decorating the family tree together on Christmas Eve, Joss looked over at Judy and smiled. "I love you, Judy." he said utterly spontaneously. Realizing he'd said it out loud for the first time, he blushed and turned away embarrassedly.

"Joss!" she said kindly. Putting the ornament down and walking over to him, she replied as she took him in a hug. "I love you too, sweetheart!"

Stopping their decorating for a time, they sat and talked.

"Judy?" he asked tentatively. "Um... I've wanted to ask you something for a while now, but I wasn't sure how."

"You can ask me anything you like, Joss!" she said, looking at him happily.

"Can... um... may I call you Mom?" Terrified that it was asking too much, he tried to back out of it. "No, you know what? I'm sorry. It's stupid. Never mind! Let's get back..."

"Joss!" she said in a raised voice to get his attention. "If you would let me answer?" Seeing him look away fearfully, she could see him waiting for the inevitable disappointment. "Joss, I've known you for over three years, and in that time I've come to think of you as my own child. I should have become your mother-in-law, so... yes."

Not believing his ears, Joss turned to her in utter shock. "You mean it? I mean, you wouldn't mind?"

"I think it would be an honor for you to call me Mom, sweetie! I love you!" she said as a tear fell down her cheek.

"I love you too... Mom." he tried the name on for size as he also started to cry. Hugging one another, they cried, dried their eyes, and eventually went back to decorating the tree, together.

Several times Judy would have to stop to comfort Joss as he cried at having a truly loving mother or for all that he'd lost in life, only for Judy to find an ornament that Grace had made in Kindergarten or one that used to belong to Scott and Joss would find himself consoling her. When at last all of the decorating was done, they sat back on the couch together and watched the lights twinkle while Christmas music played on the stereo.

Ending the evening with a Wright family tradition, watching a Christmas movie and opening one present each, after watching White Christmas, Joss watched anxiously as Judy opened her present. "I hope you like it, Mom." he said nervously.

"I'm sure I will, dear!" she said as the paper ripped away from the wide flat box. Opening the lid, she nearly cried again as she saw the glass-framed eight by ten oil painting of Grace standing by the ocean, watching the waves, and looking as though she were in her twenties. "Oh, Joss! This is beautiful!" Tears streaming down her cheeks, she held it to her chest and hugged it. "I can almost feel you hugging me, baby!"

Getting up, Joss wrapped his arms around her and held her while she cried. "I didn't mean to make you sad, Mom."

"It's OK!" she said, her tears starting to ebb. "I'm not sad, I just miss her!"

"Me too, Mom." Joss admitted softly. "She told me to tell you that she loves you and misses you, too. When I saw her last, she looked like this."

Sobbing tears of happiness and sadness at the same time, it took several minutes and most of a box of tissues before they could come to his present. As he unwrapped the gift meticulously, Judy scoffed at his fastidiousness.

"Come on, sweetie! Before midnight comes and Santa skips our house!"

Giggling, Joss shook his head. "This is my first Christmas present ever, Mom! I want to keep the paper!"

"Oh, alright!" she gave in. "But just this once! I want to see torn paper and ribbons tomorrow!"

Carefully removing the wrapping paper as he nodded happily, he set it aside. The long slim white box opened easily as he took off the lid and his eyes went wide. "Mom!" he said with a breath, taking the golden chain out and holding it up to see the simple, inornate, golden cross.

"It's not much dear, but I hope you like it!" she said with a smile.

Pulling it around his neck, he fastened the clasp behind himself and let it lay over the simple cotton pajama shirt he wore, looking down at it. "I love it, Mom! Thank you so much! I... I've never had one before."

"I know, baby." she smiled at him. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas, Mom!" he said as he got up and hugged her tightly. "I love you!"

What Judy lacked in finances, she made up for in attentiveness and true motherly love, which was something Joss needed even more than things. His big present that year was learning that she had set in motion officially adopting Joss as her son. Getting a court date just before he turned eighteen, they stood in front of the judge who glanced down at the paperwork and frowned.

"Mrs. Wright," he asked curiously, "I see here that Jocelyn turns eighteen next week. Why are you requesting formal adoption of your foster child?"

She swallowed nervously before answering. "Your honor, I love Joss just as much as my own departed daughter. I want Joss to be part of my family always. Not just to take care of until age eighteen, but for the rest of my life... and I want Joss to know it. So I guess the simplest answer I can give is, out of love, your honor."

Looking over the rest of the paperwork, he noted one other thing. "I see that you've also petitioned for change of name with the adoption." Turning to Joss, he smiled and peered over his reading glasses at the boy. "Are you agreeable, young lady?"

Standing next to Judy in a dark blue lady's suit jacket and matching slacks, Joss nodded solemnly. "Yes, sir... I mean... yes, your honor!"

Leaning back, he pursed his lips. "Very well." Reading over the rest of the paperwork, he glanced up at the two and smiled briefly before signing the form. "Then it is so ordered. From this day forward your name will be Joss Vale Wright. Congratulations, Mrs. Wright... Joss!"

Processing the judge's order took the rest of the day, but in the end the two came out of the family court building legally as mother and son. When Joss graduated that June, he walked with the boys instead of the girls, his fresh new haircut letting him easily blend in with the sea of unisex robes that hid his feminine shape. Meeting up with Tracy and David after the ceremonies, he hugged Tracy happily.

"We did it!" Joss and Tracy almost squealed together.

Smiling at one another, he then briefly hugged David with plenty of back slaps and the three of them posed for pictures for their parents, both together and separately.

Driving to the Edwards home afterward for their graduation party, it being much larger than their own house, Joss looked over at Judy with a grin that wouldn't stop. Pulling up, he saw something that made his smile melt. "Oh no!" There, parked in front of them on the street, was the vehicle he'd long ago christened 'the Lib-mobile'. "What're they doing here?"

Putting her car in park, Judy swallowed hard. "I didn't tell you they were coming because I wanted you to enjoy the moment. They were at your commencement ceremony, too."

"I don't want to see them, Mom!" Joss shouted at her, immediately regretting it. "Sorry, I shouldn't yell, but what could they possibly want?"

"To see you." she answered simply. "Nothing more. They finally completed that counseling course Doctor Benson made them take to avoid prosecution. They're on strict orders not to refer to you by your old name or as she, her, or in any other feminine way... or out they go! Even an accidental slip means they get the boot! OK?"

It had been almost a full year since he'd last seen them. Even though he still loved and missed them, Judy had taken their place in his heart. Dreading the encounter, Joss sighed and shook his head. "OK, Mom. I'll trust you."

"That's my brave boy!" she said lovingly as she patted his cheek and the two climbed out of the new model car that Judy got from the insurance settlement against the drunk driver that had killed her daughter. She'd been told that she could sue for far more, but she balked. Suing him wouldn't punish him further as it wouldn't be him she could sue, but the insurance company that had covered him; and money wouldn't bring her daughter back. Instead she settled for enough to buy a new car, bury Grace, and have some left over that she'd put away.

Going up the walkway to the front door hand in hand, Joss began to sweat nervously as they entered the house. Moving to the living room, Joss saw the banner that read, "Happy Graduation, Class of 2011!" and smiled. Around the room were all the people who cared about him, as well as many of the most popular kids in school from the cheerleading squad and football team. Meanwhile, through the window he could see in the back yard were even more graduates playing volleyball, laughing, and enjoying their freedom from school.

Looking back in the living room, he saw David talking with Hank and Pastor Roberts, while nearby Susan Roberts talked animatedly with Joyce Edwards. Tracy meanwhile was over by the back door, laughing and drinking punch with three other cheerleaders, her football-player boyfriend Mike hovering next to her. Lastly, he saw Dr. Benson talking with Fred and Melanie over in the far corner of the room. Everyone's eyes turned toward the two as they came in.

Greeting and hugging Daniel and Susan and all four Edwards, and making polite small talk with some of his fellow graduates, he at last turned to Dr. Benson who stood between Joss and his parents. "Thanks for coming, Doc!" he smiled at the man who he considered his living guardian angel.

Shaking Joss's hand firmly, Emanuel grinned at Joss genuinely. "I'm sorry I couldn't make your birthday. I'm glad to be here today, though." Glancing over his shoulder toward Fred and Melanie, he turned back to their son. "You look good! I might even go so far as to say happy!"

Blushing and looking away, Joss smiled embarrassedly. "Thanks! I am!"

As Dr. Benson stepped aside, Fred and Melanie walked up to him cautiously and took in the changes in his appearance. His hair was short, but the vaguely feminine style was still there and his formerly pierced ears had tiny scars where the holes had closed from lack of use. He had to wear a lady's plain white cotton blouse due to his bosom, a man's shirt simply not fitting right, but he wore men's black slacks and dress shoes. The only piece of jewelry he wore was the simple gold cross Judy had given him for Christmas.

All in all, he looked like an androgynous young woman trying to look like a man, but much happier than the two had seen him since he was five.

Fred spoke first. "Um... congratulations... Joss." Almost wanting to pull Joss into a hug, he stopped himself and instead just pushed his hand out to the boy. "How are you?"

Shaking his father's hand, Joss looked back at him with a cold expression. "Fine, thank you. And you, Mr. Ryan?"

Wincing at the formal mode of address, he tried to warm their relationship up slightly. "You can call me Fred, Joss. I think we know each other that well."

"No sir, I don't believe we do. I don't think you ever knew me, Mr. Ryan."

Taking a deep breath, the man exhaled it slowly and nodded. "I guess maybe you're right. I deserved that."

Melanie could hardly stand it. Looking at her child, the only thing she could see was the gold cross hanging around his neck. "I see you're still wasting your time on that sexist, homophobic..."

"Mel!" Fred barked at her. "Do you need to leave? Because I won't let you spoil this time we have with our... our son."

Narrowing her eyes at Fred, she scowled at him before turning back to Joss. "I was just stating a fact. So, Joss. Interesting outfit. I think the slacks could be a nicer cut and the shoes are too manish, but you seem to wear it well."

Pursing his lips at the backhanded compliment, Joss glared at her. "Thanks, Ms. Ryan. Do you like the cross? It was a Christmas gift from my Mom." He smiled wickedly as he saw her wince at each emphasized word. "That and the formal adoption papers and legal name change. Speaking of which..." Pulling out his diploma, he smiled as he indicated the finely printed name. "Joss Vale Wright! Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it, Ms. Ryan?"

"I can see this was a waste of time, Fred." she fumed. "This isn't my child. My child is dead. She never came out of that car wreck!"

"Your child is standing right in front of you, Ms. Ryan." Joss stated flatly. "I'm the same person I always was, just free of you! I hated every second of being your sweet princess, Melanie! Get this through your thick skull. I... Am... A... Boy! I... Always... Was! And I believe you just violated the terms of you being here... calling me a girl."

"I did no such thing!" she argued.

"You said 'She never came out of that car wreck', Mrs. Ryan." Judy pointed out, putting her hands defensively on Joss's shoulders. "Since the only ones in that accident were Joss and my daughter, unless you were trying to claim that Grace was your child, you were calling Joss a girl. The only girl in that accident was Grace! I think he's right. You should go. I don't know what possessed me to think you'd change or admit your abuse of your son! Go!"

"This isn't your house, Ms. Wright!" Melanie spat. "And Jocelyn will never be your daughter!" She jumped in a start when she heard Hank's voice from right behind her.

"You're right, Ms. Ryan." he boomed. "Jocelyn will never be Judy's daughter because no such person ever existed. Joss is Judy's son. This is however, my house and I think you need to go."

Glancing over at Joyce, Melanie looked back at Hank and made a final argument. "It's her house, too! Or do you think she has no say? I didn't see you consult her first!"

"He didn't have to, Mrs. Ryan." Joyce growled as most of the conversations in the room fell silent and Melanie turned to her. "He knows me well enough to know I agree! And even if I didn't, he knows I wouldn't make him put up with someone in his home as vile as you, so he doesn't need my permission!"

Seeing that she was going to get kicked out anyway, Melanie let loose with everything she had. "You all are crazy! Jocelyn is a girl! We can all see it! She looks, talks, moves, thinks, cries, and laughs like a girl! Look at her!" she gestured at Joss. "If you can look at that and see a boy, you're crazy! As for her believing in that sexist, homophobic, flying spaghetti monster in the sky, you all brainwashed her! I raised her to only believe in what you can prove! All objective analysis proves Jocelyn is a girl! You're all cruel, selfish, transphobic, Nazis that are shoving her back in the closet to protect your sexist, cis-normative prejudices! You all would be lined up out in the street and shot if I had my way! The whole lot of you!" As she finished, her eyes were wild with fury.

Joss walked up to her and stared her down, now being an inch taller than her. "I do believe in what is provable, Mrs. Ryan." he snarled at her. "I can prove Judy loves me as a mother should, unconditionally. She supports what I want to be, not what she wants me to be, which proves that you love nothing but yourself! You're a mean, hateful, intolerant woman, Mrs. Ryan! If anyone here is a Nazi, it's you! After all, it's you who said you'd like to see us all shot over a difference of opinion!"

Glaring at the assembled people who looked at her harshly, she turned away in a huff. "Come on, Fred! Let's go!"

Fred glanced around the room with a hopeful expression. "If it's all the same to everyone else Mel, I'd like to stay and get to know my son."

Melanie spun around and scowled, the fury in her eyes boring into him. "What! After what he just said to me? Fred! He called me a hateful, intolerant, Nazi! I can't be a Nazi! I'm a socialist!"

Stepping back away from her, Fred shook his head and smiled. "You called Joss him, Mel. I think we had it wrong... again... and I think you know it."

"Don't mansplain to me, Fred!" she screamed wildly. "No man can ever tell a woman what she thinks! I... it was an accident! I didn't mean to say he! I wasn't misgendering him! Her! He just got me... I mean she just got me so infuriated that..."

Melanie was so busy explaining how she wasn't really misgendering Joss and rationalizing her intolerance that she didn't notice the knock on the door, or the new arrivals until she felt the tap on her shoulder. "What!" she yelled, spinning around to see the police officer standing right in front of her.

"Ma'am?" Officer Janice Woods said calmly. "The homeowner called us a few minutes ago to complain that you were trespassing on his property and refused to leave. You're disrupting this graduation celebration. Will you leave voluntarily?" When Melanie just stood there in shock for a moment, not moving, the woman hooked her hand around Melanie's arm and gripped it, pulling gently toward the front door. "This way, ma'am."

Ripping her arm free and slapping the officer's hand away, Melanie spat in the officer's face. "Fascist pig! Don't touch me! I was leaving!"

Wiping the spittle from her cheek, Janice reached behind her and pulled her handcuffs out. "You're under arrest for assaulting an officer of the law and aggravated disorderly conduct." Moving quickly around Melanie, Officer Woods pulled the woman's arms behind her back and clapped the cuffs on, all the while Melanie spitting off a string of insults and threats.

"Traitor!" she screamed. "Defending the patriarchy and selling out women everywhere! Arresting me when I'm a mother protecting her daughter! You should arrest these people for hate crimes! Stupid dyke! You're twisting my arm! I'll have your job for brutality! Fred! Do something, you useless prick!"

While Janice frog-walked Melanie to the waiting squad car, reading the woman her rights with Melanie spewing hate the whole way, the other officer present took down the particulars.

"OK, so who is this daughter that she said she was trying to protect?" Officer Jim White asked, taking notes and looking around the room.

Joss stepped forward and cleared his throat. "She meant me, officer." he said with his head held high.

"You're her daughter?" he asked, expecting it to be a rhetorical question.

"No, sir." Joss answered, making Officer White look up in confusion.

"What's your name, miss?" he asked.

"Mister Joss Wright, sir." he answered clearly as he handed the officer his recently changed driver's license. "Mrs. Ryan used to be my mother."

Confused, he looked at the license and noted it stated Joss was male. "You're Joss Wright?" he asked incredulously, examining the feminine photo.

"Yes, Officer." Judy answered, putting her hand protectively on Joss's left shoulder. "I'm Joss's adopted mother, Judy Wright. Joss is my son."

After several minutes collecting information, he looked over at Fred. "Will you be following us down to the station then, Mr. Ryan?"

Pursing his lips, Fred shook his head. "No. She wasn't good enough to wait for me to be booked last year. She's a big girl. She can take care of herself." He glanced around the room, never having gotten the answer to his earlier inquiry. "That is, if I'm welcome to stay."

Hank turned to Joss with a questioning expression. "Well, Joss?"

Looking at his father, he smiled. "I'd be happy for you to stay... Fred."

Once the officers had left, the mood lightened significantly as kids went back to their own conversations. Sitting at the kitchen table, Joss talked with Fred while Judy sat next to her son.

"I got accepted into the Cleveland Institute of Art!" he boasted proudly as his father admired the oil painting of Grace that he'd given Judy, she having brought it with her in case Joss's parents wanted to see an example of his work. "I'm majoring in Painting with a minor in Graphic Design, just in case painting doesn't work out! I even got a Merit Scholarship! It's not much, but every little bit helps!"

Turning to Judy, Fred furrowed his brow. "You're not paying for his school?"

"I'm only a paralegal, Mr. Ryan. I don't make much money." Judy swallowed and glanced away embarrassedly. "At least he can still live at home while he goes to school, which will save on a lot of his costs." Then, with a sly expression, she pulled an envelope out of her purse. "However, I do have a graduation present for him!" Handing the envelope over to Joss, she smiled at him genuinely. "I am so proud of you, Joss!"

Taking and opening the envelope, his eyes widened before he turned and hugged Judy tightly. "Oh my God, Mom! You didn't have to do this! How can you afford it? Where did you get this?"

Fred looked at his son curiously. "What? What is it?" Seeing Joss hand him a check, he took it and read it. "Ten thousand dollars?" he asked, giving it back to his son while gazing at Judy.

"It's most of what's left from the settlement." she explained. Looking at Joss, her expression turned sad. "Consider it a gift from Grace, sweetheart." she stated, running her fingers through her son's short hair.

Fred smiled at the woman who'd become the mother his son deserved. "If he needs anything, please let me know." Turning to his son, he grimaced. "I have a lot to make up for. Maybe more than I can ever repay."

Taking a breath, he let it out slowly. "I... I'm sorry, Joss. I know that doesn't mean much now, but I hope you can forgive me someday. I should have listened to you and not let your..." He stopped himself and glanced back at Judy before turning his eyes back to Joss. "...not let Melanie... convince me that you were something you weren't. I should have protected you better."

Reaching a hand out, Joss watched as his father took it hesitantly. "Of course I forgive you... Dad." he sighed.

Surprised at the ease of his son's absolution, Fred blinked in confusion. "Don't get me wrong, Joss. I... I'm grateful, but... why?"

Fingering the cross he wore, he glanced up at Daniel who stood nearby and nodded back at him. The young man answered with a smile as he turned back to his father. "Because I was forgiven my mistakes, by Someone who had no good reason, other than the simple fact that He loved me, unconditionally!" Standing up, he waited for Fred to do likewise before embracing the confused man in a hug. "I love you, Daddy!"

Holding him in return, Fred relaxed into the moment and closed his eyes, remembering his son as he was when he was only a small boy and hugging him just as tightly. "I love you too, son."

Releasing his father, he returned to Judy and hugged her next. "I love you, Mom. Thanks... for everything!"

Also returning the embrace, Judy sighed contentedly. "Love you too, baby!"

With one arm still around her shoulders, Joss turned and looked around the room at the assembled people all smiling at him proudly. "I love you all so much!"