I felt like I was floating, adrift in space, a sea of black. I didn’t feel hot or cold. I just felt I existed. That was good enough for me to realize I wasn’t dead. At least I hoped I wasn’t. Then came the most horrible feeling I’ve ever felt. Even more horrible than being blown up. It felt like thousands of tiny spiders were loose in my skull, all trying to find a way out. I wanted to scream, but there was no air.

There were tingles down my spine and out to my extremities. I started to feel pin pricks of pain randomly across my body. I couldn’t move and I couldn’t breathe. I started to panic and then realized, they must have located a blank for me after all.

Blanks are ugly things that nobody likes. Granted, it’s better than being dead. They are also expensive and in short supply. They are clones, but they don’t have to be born and then grow up. They have no brain, eyes or inner ears. They have faces like maniquins. Hence the name ‘blank’. They have no genitalia either. There are no genders associated with them. And they’re not built to be used forever. Nobody likes being in one and nobody likes having to work around someone in a blank. They’re just too creepy and inhuman. You’re in a blank just until a suitable “donation” can be obtained. It’s usually the body of a condemned criminal. Needless to say, there is a lot of controversy over the use of blanks and what happens afterwards.

When the technology to move a brain from one host to another became reliable, a lot of laws suddenly sprang up to regulate the procedure. The military always gets first dibs. The military puts their people in serious danger more than any other group. Bodies can’t be sold and the transfer has to be a medical necessity not vanity. You also can’t get a parking ticket and be sentenced to the body farms.

So I felt confident I wasn’t dead and that I’d wake up in a blank. I could detect lights and darks and shapes moving around. I opened my eyes and could make out blurry images. I could hear distant sounds. Or they sounded distant.

I heard a muffled female voice say, “Call Captain Murphy. Lt. Simmons is starting to wake up. He wanted to be notified.”

A different voice said, “Yes doctor.”

My whole body felt numb. I could finally feel I could move, but I seems to be restrained. This is my first time in a blank. I hope this doesn’t happen often. It’s been said that Col. Wildman Williams, known to close associates as Wild Bill, has been in twenty-five different blanks; one for as long as a year.

I heard footsteps coming towards me. I heard Capt. Murphy’s distinct voice ask, “How’s the patient, doc?”

Whoever the doctor was, he was outside my visual range. “See for yourself, captain. Obvious good blood flow. In an hour, we’ll be able to remove the restraints and we’ll see if all the vital brain to body connections are working correctly.”

Capt. Murphy said, “This surgery’s pretty reliable, right?”

The doctor chuckled. “I’ve never lost a patient yet. Sometimes some of the nerves in the spinal column don’t take right away. We can usually correct that in a later surgery. The lieutenant’s spinal column was in perfect shape despite the beating he took in the explosion. This was a text book case so we don’t anticipate any problems. After another hour’s rest and you’ll be able to leave with the lieutenant.”

Capt. Murphy leaned over me. His face was blurry, so I just assumed he smiled at me. “Looking good, Simmons. I won’t sugar coat it lieutenant. You not only looked like shit, but like a bag of ground up shit when they brought you in here. The only thing holding your skull together was your helmet.”

The doctor chuckled. “I thought you said you weren’t going to sugar coat it.”

I felt Capt Murphy pat my shoulder. “Simmons is a marine. Marines are used to being bags of shit. I’ll be back in an hour.”

The doctor laughed. “The lieutenant will be right here, captain.”

If I could, I would have shaken my head. Captain Murphy is one callous son of a bitch. You can call him all the names you want, but he does have your back. Shit, I remember seeing Reynolds as nothing more than a heart and lung and half a skull and Murphy got him back in time to transfer to a blank. He now commands his own platoon. You just have to ignore that weird tick he’s got.

I’m anxious to get out of this bed and back on my feet. I’m just not anxious to see the hideous form I now am. I’m definitely not picking up any chicks for a while. Well, there are some women who get off with blanks.

I think I kept dozing off, which is good. Time really drags when you’re stuck lying flat on your back and can’t move. I heard the doctor say to someone who just approached, “Ah, Capt. Murphy. We were just about to call for you. Lt. Simmons is ready to be discharged. Most patients leave in a wheelchair, but we need to be sure everything is working.”

As the nurse removed the restraints, Capt. Murphy said somewhat gruffly, “No bitching, Simmons. This was a rush job. Another hour and we’d never be able to extract that document stuck in your melon.”

As the nurse removed the last restraint, she said something really strange. “Okay, sweetie. Try to sit up.” I just shrugged it off.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and sat up. This didn’t feel right. I felt long strands of hair sweep across my naked back and a weight shift on my chest threw me off balance. What the hell? I looked down and hair fell into my eyes. I saw breasts. Breasts! On a blank? Blanks have no gender!

“Murph, is this some kind of sick joke?” I exclaimed as I took inventory of my body. “This isn’t a blank!” I jumped down from the bed and felt the painful bounce of tits on my chest.

Frowning, Capt. Murphy said, “I told you not to bitch about it. There was no choice. You either get this body or you get dead.”

I walked up to Captain Murphy and looked up at him and said, “But why a female? You’re even taller than me!”

Murphy shook his head. “Would you rather be dead?”

The doctor stepped next to me. “I’m very sorry Lieutenant Simmons. Trust me. We’d rather have used almost any option other than this. I had to get the admirals permission to use this body. The last several days of engagement has depleted our stock of blanks.”

I turned to the doctor and demanded, “But why a female? Don’t you normally use a condemned POW? Am I even an adult?”

The doctor shook his head. “The girl was sixteen.”

Shocked, I shouted, “You used a child? I thought you used condemned prisoners only?”

Captain Murphy said calmly, “They did. If I had waited much longer, the girl would have been executed.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Eh… executed? What the hell could a girl have done to warrant being executed?”

Capt. Murphy said, “She tossed a satchel charge into barracks with two hundred sleeping marines. She had come to get into a food line. And before anyone could stop her, she tossed the satchel into the barracks and killed a hundred and seventy-three marines in their sleep.”

“Holy shit.” I shook my head. “But what happens to me? I can’t go into combat as a sixteen year old girl!”

Capt Murphy nodded. “Your combat days are done, that’s for sure. Let’s get you to the lab. Command wanted that done yesterday.”

I exclaimed, “I still haven’t gotten over the shock of becoming a girl! I don’t even have a uniform!”

Capt. Murphy grabbed one of the ties from my hospital gown and tugged. “Oh grow a pair. I have orders to get you to the lab the moment you wake up.”

A nurse handed me some scrubs and said, “Please, captain. Let the girl put these on.”

The doctor said, “It is against regulations to run around naked aboard this vessel.”

The nurse helped me put on the scrubs. I noticed the size was small. This was ridiculous. Surely they can’t mean to keep me in this condition.

I ran behind Captain Murphy as he hurried through the companion way. I cried out, “Can you slow down, Murph? I don’t have shoes and stepping on this metal hurts.”

Captain Murphy glanced behind him. “Stop complaining.”

I stopped and just stood in the middle of the companionway with my arms folded. It felt weird touching my own breasts. Captain Murphy continued on a short way before he discovered I was no longer behind him.

“Are you coming?” he asked, motioning me to follow.

“No!” I shouted. “This is insane. I… I… I… wake up as a girl. You try to drag me through the ship naked. I’m owed a debriefing on my status.

Capt Murphy walked back towards me. He started to poke me in the chest before thinking better of it. “I’m putting my ass in a sling for you, Simmons. Command wanted me to bring you straight to the lab while you were still nothing more than a blob. They want the intel. They don’t care about you. Command isn’t happy I wasted time getting permission to use a prisoner for your new body. The press will have a field day. Let’s get the intel and then we can slow down and figure out what to do with you.”

I narrowed my eyes on Capt. Murphy. “What do you mean we’ll figure out what to do with me? I’m a commissioned officer attached to your mission, right?”

Captain Murphy suddenly looked sad. He said, “No. You’re not. Col. Wild Bill doesn’t want children in the ranks. We’re mercs. The press already hates us. Can you imagine the uproar if they learn we have a sixteen year old girl?”

I exclaimed, “But I’m not a child! You know who I am! Transfer my brain to a new host. I’m sure we have some new prisoners by now.”

The only time I’ve ever seen Capt. Murphy look defeated. “Strict rule, no children in the ranks. Strict rule number two, once you’ve been transferred to an actual human host, you can’t be transferred again. I’m sorry.”

I just stood there. I couldn’t believe it.

Captain Murphy started walking down towards the lab. He stopped when he saw I wasn’t following. He gestured for me to follow. “Come with me little girl. We need that intel.”