CHAPTER 10
We spent a boring time indeed on the M6 as far as Carlisle, and Alys and I ended up falling asleep together in the back seat. I woke up with a mouthful of her hair, which was even further from that Mills and Boon idea than ever. Joy.

Yes, actually: joy. Perhaps not the shouting and grinning sort, but a deep warmth that I felt in my bones. Breathing the same air, next to her, that was enough, even if it meant inhaling her hair.

We skirted the city and headed east along a series of progressively quieter roads Mr Edwards getting more and more vocal in his description of the Roman fortifications, until Alys loudly interrupted.

“Enfys?”

“Yes? Um, that’s my name”

“Did you know that Dad was a twitcher?”

I had already picked up the term from her, the concept of a list-ticker rather than a lover of birds and nature, so I raised my eyebrows in puzzlement. She grimaced.

“There’s a castle in Carlisle. We won’t be going that way because Dad has already seen it. Twitcher!”

He called back over his shoulder.

“Guilty, but not guilty”

“Sorry not sorry, Dad?”

“We have a booking at the next site. It’s in woodland. I am told there are woodpeckers and warblers. Your call: do we stop in the middle of a city to see MY passion, or do you get yours?”

Alys was still playing.

“This campsite: is it near a castle you HAVEN’T seen, by any chance?”

Mrs Edwards was giggling like a teenager.

“Vic, we have created a monster! Yes, love, a place called Langley, but Dad has something else he wants to see first”

That ‘something’ turned out to be a stone viaduct that crossed a small rock-strewn river, and I will admit that it was absolutely lovely. There was a footbridge across the water just downstream from the stone arches, and for once my phone and my camera filled up with shots that didn’t involve climbing. The place was absolutely gorgeous, and when we arrived at the campsite, it was just as lovely, set by the same river, but with a wonderful huddle of old forest nearby. Alys was entranced, and every call, every song, resulted in a smile and the phrase “That’s a…”

Our stay in kangaroo country had included two days with the Woodruffs, as Alys and her parents had found their own activities. To be honest, and to my shame, what Steph’n’Geoff showed me pushed everything to the back of my mind, including Alys.

The rock was so different to that at home, and the default angle was as steep as the slate had been. We warmed up with a few short solos, and then moved to a complex area with a massive overhang at the top. Steph indicated a crack cutting through its lip.

“That’s a Villain route, Sloth”

“My parents mentioned him”

“The stone cottage we passed is his memorial, love. He was a thug”

She translated for Geoff’s benefit, and he laughed.

“Bloody right he was, both senses! What we doing, love?”

“Um, Right Route, Black Velvet, Tech Slab, then along to Maud’s?”

“That the one with the out-there finish?”

“Yup. The one they chipped”

“Idiots!”

I didn’t recognise the English term, so I asked Steph what her husband had meant.

“Ah, it’s what some morons think is clever. They can’t get up a route, so rather than go away and work, practise, they get a hammer and a chisel and they make some new holds”

“No! What’s the point?”

“I can only guess it’s some sort of ego-boost. I did read somewhere, can’t remember exactly, someone justifying it. Said it lets people climb something that would be impossible otherwise”

Geoff snorted.

“Enfys, long story, but before we met, I was only doing the really easy stuff. Hairy here showed me I could climb a lot harder, but neither of us will ever be really top-level”

He got a snort back followed by “Speak for yourself!”, but with a grin.

“No, love. You know what I mean! Enfys, it’s like that time on the slate. As you push yourself, you still can’t get up the really hard routes, but now you can see how they work, the mechanics of them, the sequences. And you can dream. Chippers, well, they don’t have that joy in them. No dreams”

Steph gave his hand a squeeze.

“Let’s get some routes done, then chat, okay? You won’t need the chalk bag”

We rattled through the routes, which were all well-chosen, as I should have expected from the Woodruffs, and the grades ranged from V Diff to Hard Severe 4b. The rock was wonderfully rough, and the more I climbed, the more my idea of what constituted a hold altered. It was the opposite of slate, in the fact that I could rely on friction rather than sharp edges, and I loved it.

We arrived at a route called Maud’s Garden, a soft Severe, and Steph smiled at me.

“Want to lead this one? Up the slab to the cave, squirm up the chimney, then come round onto the front of the overhang. Easy climbing, but sensational position!”

I couldn’t resist, and as usual, she followed me up to give advice on runner placement, as Geoff belayed me. The finish was stunning, a traverse round a corner onto a massive overhanging block, holds like a stack of dinnerplates and what seemed like a mile of fresh air under my heels. I topped out and took a seat, hands shaking, while Steph brought up her husband. As she managed the rope, she spoke over her shoulder.

“Someone chipped this one, Enfys, years ago”

“What on Earth for? At this grade, I mean!”

“Part of today’s lessons, love. It’s not just what my darling here said, about dreams. In short, some people want more than they can fairly get. Some are just selfish. Reach past, Geoff. Let me know when you’re safe”

We sorted out the belay and the gear, my hands feeling a little tender from the abrasion of the rough rock, and then Geoff pulled a couple of flasks from the rucksack he had worn as he climbed. Tea steamed in three mugs, and we sat together on the top of the crag, the steep lump they told me was called Hen Cloud hulking to the South East. Steph sipped her tea, then looked directly at me.

“Your parents said I should have a word with you, Enfys. Sorry”

My heart almost stopped.

“What for? I mean, what about?”

A couple of seconds later, the words came.

“About Alys?”

She nodded, her face almost unreadable, but there was just a hint of sadness there.

“Yes, love. I just hope… Look, not trying to be all ‘I’m an adult, you’re a kid’, but at your age, passions are fleeting. Sometimes, that is. Sometimes, they last”

We were speaking in Welsh, and Geoff was doing his best to look uninterested.

“How was it for you?”

She smiled, and shook her head.

“Enfys, that is part of what they wanted me to talk about. Not just you, though”

She stared out over the hillside that dropped away towards a distant lake, her eyes and voice just as far away.

“I was lost, you know. Then I was found,,,”

She snapped back to the there and then, waving a hand at her husband, and smiling at me.

“You know what I am, love. Am I right?”

I felt myself blushing.

“Um, you mean, like Alys is, yeah”

“Like Alys is, but I left things a lot later in my life. Got lucky, met the right people, found the right person to love. I waited, though, or I hid. Doesn’t matter which one; it’s all the same in the end. Alys is luckier than I am, because she’s got her family with her already, and she’s getting the right medical help early. I never had that”

Once again, she looked off into the space before us.

“Thing is, I was also lucky, because I was an adult, and I could deal with the nastiness directly. Still hurt, but I scared people. I had a reputation”

She switched to English, calling to Geoff over her shoulder.

“How would you describe me on the rugby pitch, love?”

He laughed, shaking his head.

“Enfys, bloody terrifying! They called her ‘Psycho’, at least when they were being polite”

She nodded her thanks, turning back to me.

“I don’t do that sort of thing much these days”

I found myself chuckling.

“Dad says you threatened to cut Mr Conway’s willy off”

She grinned at me, happily.

“Ah, Illtyd’s okay. He just needed some boundaries setting! Anyway, that’s sort of my point. Alys is going to get some really nasty stuff as she gets older, or at least it is almost certain she will. I suppose that what I’m saying is…”

The smile dropped away.

“You may or may not keep the same feelings for her. People change quickly in their teens. All I am asking, all your Mam is hoping, is that even if the being in love fades away, the friendship doesn’t. That the love lasts if the loving doesn’t. Alys will need you, whatever happens in your future. I know, something I’ve been through, that she’ll have all sorts of issues with how she was born, but she’ll change, and that will bring its own problems. Be there for her, love. Be ready. We’ll give you our numbers before we go, just in case”

She rose to her feet, stretching her arms behind her back.

“Geoff? Fancy doing something a bit harder?”

“What are you thinking?”

“Valkyrie? Rope of three?”

He nodded, and it wasn’t till I was groping my way down the edge of a flake with absolutely nothing but space beneath me that I appreciated his insistence on giving me a back rope. Just then, I was doubting his wife’s sanity. It taught me a lot about runner placements and rope management, though, and it was one reason I fell asleep so easily in the car a couple of days later.

We spent two nights at the woodland site, near a place called Haltwhistle but pronounced something like ‘Howtwessel’ by the locals, Mr Edwards ticking his castle off as Alys and I walked the woods and splashed in the river. When we moved on, we followed Hadrian’s Wall for a way (there were people climbing below part of it) and there were more castles, a huge lake in a forest where we spent a night under more stars than I realised existed, and finally we almost reached the coast.

I say ‘almost’, because Mr Edwards was very clear on the point.

“Girls, the coastline here is lovely, but all the sites are either caravans only, or caravans only in huge numbers. We’re going to settle here for the rest of the stay, and do day trips out. Got some big castles to see, including one they used for the ‘Spaceman and King Arthur’ film”

He paused for a second before adding that it was also used as the school in a series of films about a boy wizard, no biggy.

“Oh, and there will be at least one boat trip. You’ll want your swimming costume and your climbing helmet for that, Enfys”

There were indeed castles, and the coastline was a mix of incredible sandy beaches, rock outcrops and an island reached by a road that was underwater at high tide. The boat trip was out to some smaller rocky islands, where terns tried to break their beaks on the previously mentioned headwear, and the place was full of seals, puffins, eider and all sorts of other seabirds that had Alys almost screaming in delight. It was clearly her part of the holiday, as the Roaches had been mine, but the memories I cherished were of three of us lying in sand dunes, camping stove and sandwiches to hand as her father went off for yet more castle-twitching.

We all wore swimming costumes, even though the sea was far too cold for anything other than paddling, and while my sensible mind was asking what Alys had done to hide her unwanted bits away, the rest of me was in a whirl.

This was my lover, in a way, for she had used that word. She was also my friend, and that word would always bring back Steph Woodruff’s plea, and I made myself the same prayer..

Be there for her, Enfys, not just for yourself.