“Okay. Bend over. Hmmmn. I see no bumpiness; all is smooth as silk. You should take some pix for your boyfriend. Not of your crotch, mind you – just in the suit in general.”

“Already did, and sent them to his email. That will give him something to obsess over when he’s on his lunch break,” she dreamily exhaled.

Gwen moved behind her daughter and began adjusting the bows of her top. “Have you two had sex?”

“URK!!” gulped Willow.

~o~O~o~

NOTE TO READERS

Hello, all. **Sigh** here. I'm finally (at long last!) posting the rest of the Weeping Willow saga. It took a lot longer than I'd planned, mainly due to health and real-life issues. I will be picking up the story where I last left it at the end of part 13, published way back in March. I thought about writing a little recap of where we are, just to jog people's memories; but after a few unsatisfactory tries, I figured I'd just let you guys refer back to the previous chapters for the full details. Hopefully, I've put enough "memory joggers" in that you don't have to go back and re-read all 13 previous chapters (tho if u want 2, please be my guest!). Thank you all soooo much for your readership. Now on with the tale!

~o~O~o~

It was 102 degrees Fahrenheit outside – dangerous, even for people used to August afternoons in El Paso, Texas. Heatstroke was a concern for the Montclair High football team as they practiced for their first game this Friday. Most of the other students had left school and gone home, or to friends, Dairy Queen or anywhere there was air conditioning. Willow Eiken – formerly Bill “Willy” Eiken – was in a counseling session in Dr. Estrada’s office, where the temperature was controlled and comfortable. However, the emotional climate in the consultation room could be described as cloudy with a chance of storms.

“What’s wrong, young one?” asked the doctor. “You’re tapping your foot, glancing all around. Tentative – that’s how you look. Is something bothering you?”

The girl sighed. “It’s nothing important; nothing worth taking up your valuable time. We were gonna talk about the first day of school, and how others were treating me. It went fine, and people have either accepted me or they’ve avoided me. That’s it, nothing much else to report.”

“Bullshit.”

Willow gasped – Dr. Estrada had never used such language towards her before.

“Forgive me, patient,” he continued, “but I can’t let you get away with that. You, of all people, must be aware of your emotional state and how it’s affecting you. If you ignore it, then it silently builds and bad things happen, like you throwing a fit of anger or getting your sister kidnapped. Do I have your attention now?”

“Yes sir,” mumbled the teen in a tone that was submissive yet irritated.

“So do the exercise. What emotion are you feeling right now?”

“I – blast it – I don’t know? I can’t say I feel fearful, or anxious, or sad or happy. I’m frustrated some, but I don’t know the reason. If I don’t – wait. That’s it. That’s it! I know what it is. But I’m not sure it’s an emotion?”

“What do you mean, Willow?”

“I’m BORED, dammit! – oops! Sorry, doc.”

“No problem, child; I deserved that, after saying ‘BS’ earlier. So you’re bored. Elaborate.”

“Oh … life is fine; it’s just - … not changing much. Dad works; Mom’s full-time job is sitting with and caring for my Grandpa – he’s got Alzheimer's. School is new, but I don’t have friends there yet. Bernard’s working for a car shop; long hours, and he loves it, but we don’t get as much time together. Physically, I had seen rapid changes each month since starting hormones – but not so much the last 3 months. My ‘J-Lo butt’ is great, but my breasts are still barely an A-cup and my face has too many sharp corners; if I wasn’t so short, there’s no way I’d ever pass. Don’t know if I’m being impatient, or if this is all the ‘mones are ever going to give me. And one more thing, a big thing …” the girl took a big breath and exhaled slowly before proceeding.

“I miss – God, I’m afraid you’re gonna get so mad when I say this – I miss the action. The drug-dealing action. It was an illegal thrill – and boy was I was good at it! I was such an important guy, Willie the Dude, the kingpin of North Montanas. Now, I’m just Willow the trannie. I wish I had something to replace the excitement I had when using and selling drugs.” She hung her head.

The doctor frowned. “Are you feeling remorse about choosing to become female? Or about obeying your parents and the rules of society?”

“NO. No! No regrets.” Willow shook her head forcefully, then looked to the other side of the room as if to avoid eye contact with her doc. “Um … not yet, anyway.”

“Not YET?” Estrada paused. The room was uncomfortably silent as Willow struggled to compose a response.

Finally, she spoke. “Most times I love the new me. It’s only when I think about the future that I get shaken. There’s the concern about not being able to produce kids for Bernard; you know, ones that are truly his and mine. Also, I worry about being able to satisfy him as good as the girls he’s had before. Heck, I worry that I myself won’t be able to get sexual pleasure – there’s no guarantee that SRS will leave me with the ability to come, you know?”

“To orgasm,” Estrada specified.

“Yes. And I don’t know what I want for my future, what to do with myself when school’s over. Bernard and I still plan to marry, but I don’t want to be just a housewife. I have NO idea what to pursue.”

“What was your life plan before becoming Willow?”

“Um … becoming drug kingpin for all of El Paso, and Juarez.”

“That doesn’t sound like a viable career either. I doubt you’d see the age of 30 if you continued that path. Murder rates along the border here have decreased in the last few years, but still –“

“I know, I know, doc,” sighed Willow. “I just … feel lost when I think about what to do. My sister Angie has a plan for college; even little bro Malachi does! EVERYONE does, except for me. Stupid, little old me.”

The doctor put down his pen and smiled at his young patient. “Good work, Willow. You really were able to put a lot of difficult feelings and thoughts out there for us to work on. And I’m relieved and encouraged to hear them.”

“You are? Even the ‘I miss drug-dealing’ part?”

“All of your concerns are ones that almost all teenagers – even non-transgender ones – go through. Parenting, sex, career choices, enjoyment of life after high school, and dread of a boring J-O-B; these are pretty common anxieties. The body issues, parenting, and sex function worries are ones most all male-to-female transitioners deal with. There’s a huge amount of resources available, locally and online, that will likely help – I’ll send them to you via email.”

With that, the psychic clouds dissipated a little as the sunlight of peace broke through for the doctor and his patient.

~o~O~o~

The fourth day of the fall semester had just ended. Willow gathered her belongings and walked to her locker to drop some books off; she mused about her high school experience as she did so. Junior year seems like a breeze so far, at least as classes go. I was worried that my time being home-schooled might have left me behind my classmates here; looks like Momma actually got me ahead of the pack. And so far no one here has hassled me –

THUMP!

Willow spun halfway around and stumbled, almost falling. Someone had bumped her left shoulder as they’d walked by, delivering a staggering blow. Before she could gather herself, a large hand grabbed hold of her arm. A deep voice said “I’m so sorry, Miss! I didn’t see you there!”

She turned her head to see an older boy steadying her. Concern etched his visage. “Are you okay?” he said.

“Uh, I think so? There’s no one else in the hallway – how did you happen to run into me?” she mumbled, temporarily dazed.

His face relaxed into a smile. “Sorry! My mind was, um, preoccupied.”

Willow shook her head free of the remaining stars and grinned back. “You’re forgiven. Thanks for being so nice about it –“

“Preoccupied with how wrong it is for a pervert like you to be allowed to come here, and how we’re supposed to treat you like we would treat real girls, you steaming pile of puke. You make me sick. Go somewhere else. You’re not welcome here.” The boy said this with the same relaxed smile and posture as before; his body language didn’t match his words at all.

Willow was confused by the disconnect, but now angry also. “Look, whoever you are. You can’t bully me. There are videos all around the school and I’ll have them pull this footage up tomorrow,” she said as she pointed towards the hall camera. She then aimed her finger in his face as hers glowered red with ire. “Then your ass is in deep –“

“Whoa there!” he replied. His hands were up in a gesture of concession and his eyebrows rose with alarm as he took a few steps backward. “The vids are picture only, no sound. All they’re gonna see is a poor guy who accidentally bumped into a girl and tried to apologize, just to have her throw a psycho rage-fit.” He turned and walked away, resuming his pleasant smile. “Have a nice day. And watch your back.”

The young transgirl stood there stunned as he walked away. She realized the tape would appear just as he’d predicted.

~o~O~o~

Bernard prepared to drop a fresh battery into the Volvo XC40 he’d been assigned. Working on cars was a dream to him; it hardly seemed like work at all. He especially enjoyed figuring out difficult engine problems and was fast developing a reputation as the “car whisperer” at his place of employ, Torres Auto Repair. As he tightened the cables onto the terminals, he felt two sensations: satisfaction in a quick job done right – and the urge of a full bladder.

Five minutes later, Bern was still in the locked toilet as his phone beeped indicating a text from Willow. Hey Bern – I’m here 2 drop something off 4 you. Julio sez U R in bathroom so I’ll leave it @ front desk K?

In 20 more seconds, Bern exploded out of the door of the lavatory. “Hey baby – wait up! Don’t leave without me getting a chance to see you!”

“Hello love,” Willow laughed as she met him just outside the garage intake doors. “I made these this afternoon,” holding up and wiggled a baggie filled with warm homemade chocolate chip pecan cookies. “They taste pretty good, I think; they could be more rounded, but it was my first time.”

The young mechanic grabbed the goodies with his left palm and both her hands with his right; he squeezing them tight. “I’ve got some oil on my clothes, but I just washed my hands. On our date this Friday I plan to give you a proper hug and kiss though.”

Willow smiled at him, then sniffed once or twice. “Are you sure you washed your hands good?” she queried with one eyebrow lifted slightly.

“Well, I was quick. What? All I did was pee.”

“I know … but I think you were doing something else,” she whispered. “You smell … a little spunky.” She mouthed the last word silently.

Bern’s face went a whiter shade of pale. “Uhh … errr … oh God. I’m sorry. How can you smell that with all these oil and exhaust fumes here?”

“I think it’s the estrogen. I seem to smell – and hear – with more sensitivity and intensity since I started HRT last year. So, were you getting off to porn?” she said with a pained look.

“No. To a hot chick in her yellow bikini.” He pulled up a set of pictures onto his phone and showed them to her. “Remember sending these to me?”

“You know, I’d forgotten,” she said as she viewed all the poses she’d modeled in that two-piece earlier in the summer. “So these turn you on, huh?”

“Like nothing else, babe.”

“Okay. That’s fine. Just go wash really good, with soap this time; don't forget to sanitize your phone, too," she said as she squirted some alcohol from a nearby dispenser into her palms. "And once I turn legal age, we can relieve each other properly. Are you counting the months? I am!”

“I’m not obsessing over it or anything.. Only 11 more months. And 3 days. And eight hours,” Bern said with a devilish snicker.

“Babe,” Willow queried, “what’s that in your shirt pocket?”

“Oh – I got employee of the month. This was my reward. It’s one of those video doorbells that people use for their home security systems. To be honest, I think it’s just something Mr. Torres – my boss – bought, then found he had an extra, so he’s giving it away as a prize. I’d prefer a gift card to Rock Auto Parts, to be honest.”

“Well, I’m proud of you. You’re so good at cars – at anything mechanical, babe.”

As Willow left the shop on her bicycle, she mused over the day she sent her beau those pictures, 2 months ago. She and her family were traveling on their summer vacation, and she was wishing her boyfriend could be with her …

~o~O~o~

“I miss Bern,” fretted the young brunette as she rode in the Eiken family SUV. “I’m finally going to spend some quality time in some swimwear, and he’s not around to see it.”

“We’re only gonna be gone for three days, sis,” whispered Angela. “Bernard had to work this week anyway, remember? Besides, if you got to bring him, then Mal and I would have argued to have a pal or friend to come with each of us too. That would be 8 people total Dad would be paying for. He had to dole out a lot of cash for grandpa to be taken care of while we were gone anyway. So please keep the lovesick moaning to a minimum before Mom’s mood sours, ‘kay?”

It was the end of July, and school was to start in 3 short weeks; this was the last opportunity the family had for a vacation together. So they were taking the long drive to the Texas hill country. Willliam, the father and family head, had booked a cabin near the Guadalupe River so they could do some tubing. “Maybe we can visit that huge water park at New Braunfels too,” he’d suggested.

Gwen Eiken was riding shotgun; she turned her head to look at her kids. Malachi was in the back seat engrossed in his phone. Her two daughters in the middle seat row stopped their whispering to return her gaze. Their “Hi Mom” was almost in unison, except Willow said “Momma”, her unique name for Gwen.

“Hey kiddos. Whatcha talkin’ ‘bout?”

“Oh, just things. Ya know. Silly teen girl stuff,” Willow replied with a clearly artificial smile.

“I was wondering if we’re going to stop at that 100-year-old bakery in New Braunfels. I read online that their cream puffs are to die for!” chirped Angie, hoping to distract her Mom from addressing Willow’s forced grin.

“Yeah, Naegelin’s has reportedly been there over a century,” inserted William as he kept his eyes on the road. “Don’t know that I want to eat a 100-year-old cream puff, though. Haha!”

“GROANNN,” sighed his two daughters, this time in perfect unison. Gwen agreed. “On a joke scale of 1 to 10, that was a minus 2, honey,” she laughed; then she turned back to facing the front.

Willow exhaled. Angie kept silent, but texted her sister. No more Bernard talk ‘til later.

~o~O~o~

The family had arrived and checked into their riverside cabin; then roamed around the historic downtown before taking in a movie and finally all hitting the sack. They slept in until about 9:30 when William boomed “IT’S BAKERY BREAKFAST TIME! EVERYBODY UP AND AT ‘EM – WE NEED TO EAT AND THEN GO TUBING!”

Although the reveille was harsh, the breakfast was heavenly – a selection of sweet and savory treats from Naegelin’s, accompanied by fresh hot coffee and juice. “You’re so sweet to get this for us, honey,” cooed Gwen at her spouse. “But for future wake-ups, a good morning kiss is all that’s needed, okay?”

“I know, babe – for you. But the kids usually require more volume to break their slumber.”

“He’s right,” mumbled a still sleepy Angie. “We need a loud alarm.” Sister Willow nodded as she sipped her hot java.

“There was an alarm? I didn’t hear nothin’. The smell of the coffee woke me up,” Mal garbled in-between huge bites of bear claw.

~o~O~o~

Willow preened before the mirror in her room. Her two-piece was a yellow top held by bow ties behind her neck and back, and a matching skirted bottom. She liked the look, yet her face was fretful.

“Stop worrying. You’re perfect. So-ooo hot,” reassured Angie.

“What if it gets transparent when wet? I’ll be so humiliated.”

“Willow, look at the fabric. That’s not see-through. Is that really what you’re worried about?”

“Umm … no. To be honest, it’s - ”

“Knock-knock, girls. Can I come in?” spoke Gwen from outside the bedroom door.

She entered with their assent. “How are the arrangements working out here? Any discomfort with you two sharing the same room?”

The girls blinked their eyes in wonder back at their mother. “No. Why?”

“Let me be blunter. Any undesired junk sightings? Any unplanned penis peeps producing pangs of panic?”

“OHMIGOD! MOMMA!” Willow's face was redder than the jelly from the donut she’d eaten.

“No, Mom. Willow is, as always, super discreet. We don’t go nude around each other, and we don’t look at each other when we’re dressing,” said Angie. “Unless we’re making fashion suggestions.”

“Good,” replied Gwen. “Though I’m a little disappointed that neither of you commented on my nifty bit of alliteration earlier.”

“Well, please pardon our perceived paucity of praise, Parent,” grinned Angie.

“And pardon the peculiar preponderance of “P’s” in the preceding passage,” added Willow.

“Awesome. I’m raising a couple of vocabulary geniuses – sarcastic ones, at that,” Gwen said. “So, Willow – are you worried about something? You look nervous.”

Her middle child sighed. “Angie, can you step out of the room for a sec?”

“Sure, Sis. Mom, how do you like my suit?” Angie twirled about in her red string bikini.

“Well, you’re 18 and an adult. I’ll allow it – but your Dad may not. Better cover the bottom at least with some jean shorts before you step out of here. Remember right now you still live at home and he’s paying for your vacay.” Angie complied then stepped out; Willow’s momma turned to her. “What’s up?”

“Well … speaking of ‘junk’ … is mine hidden enough?”

“That skirt bottom hides it all, daughter.”

“Yeah, when I’m standing. But in the water, it might flip up and I’m afraid lumps might show. If the suit was jet black instead of neon yellow, it might be hidden better. I’ve tucked and even taped, but can you check me?”

“Okay. Bend over. Hmmmn. I see no bumpiness; all is smooth as silk. You should take some pix for your boyfriend. Not of your crotch, mind you – just in the suit in general.”

“Already did, and sent them to his email. That will give him something to obsess over when he’s on his lunch break,” she dreamily exhaled.

Gwen moved behind her daughter and began adjusting the bows of her top. “Have you two had sex?”

“URK!!” gulped Willow. “Why – what makes you think that?”

“Just a simple, reasonable question. You've spent a lot of time together this summer. He’s dated you every weekend, and you go to NA meetings together. Now, you’ve never broken curfew – I respect him for that. But sometimes you get home with your lipstick worn off and your hair a little mussy. It would be logical to think that you two might have gone all the way – at least in some form. I know you don’t have a vagina, but there are other -”

“I KNOW! I know. I know all about the ‘different ways’. But that doesn’t mean I’ve done them. I’m still 16 for a few more weeks; if Bern and I had sex, that would mean you guys could turn him in for statutory. Dad threatened him with that when you two first allowed us to date, remember? ‘Cause Bern and I sure remember.”

“So, just to be specific. No oral?”

“No.”

“No anal?”

“NO.”

“Hand job?”

“No contact with his groin at all! Um. Not … directly. No ‘skin touching skin’ down there. And he doesn’t touch my groin … skin.”

“Does he touch your boobies?”

“That’s not sex. And, yes.”

“So. A lot of rubbing with no one’s pants off or unzipped?”

“Yes. So see, no sex has happened yet. Right? Are we in trouble or something?”

“No, honey. I was just curious.”

Willow turned right and left before the mirror, checking out the suit fit. She then faced her parent. “Momma … I know you. You don’t do light talks about stuff like this. Is there some other agenda you're hinting at, something we need to deal with?”

“No, baby - I promise. Just being a parent, making sure you're making good choices. As long as you're honest with me, I promise not to be TOO intrusive." She laughed. "I'll just be appropriately intrusive. Now let's get out there before your father starts complaining about too much idling being bad for the SUV."

~o~O~o~

The family was now tubing as a group down the Guadalupe, each in their own personal rented tube. The water was cold, but the sun was hot, and so all present were relaxing with their swimsuits and sunglasses as the flow slowly took them down past glorious riverside houses and foliage. There was only one exception to the serenity: Willow. She was spread out atop her tube, not allowing any part of her body to touch the water. Angela paddled with her arms over to where she was.

“What’s up, sis? You look so tense.”

“Ahhh … I’m … I’m fine, Angie. I’m okay.”

“Liar. You’re lousy at telling fibs now that you do that 12 step stuff. Why won’t you touch the water?”

Willow sighed. “Okay, look. I’ve swum before, but always in swimming pools. You can’t see through this water – and who knows what kind of things are down there to bite me?”

Angie gaped at her little sis. “Like what? Freshwater river sharks? North American piranhas? Nope; none of those things exist.”

“What about snakes or other reptiles? I thought this river would be clearer!”

“Sis. Just relax,” – but Angie was suddenly interrupted by a bearded man yelling from 15 yards back upstream; he was floating just behind the Eikens. “Hey you! Girl in the yellow bikini! There’s a big green croc right beside you, see it?”

“Wh – WHAT!?” Willow squeaked as she glanced furtively all around her. Then she saw it – a huge gator nose poking out of the water, just inches from her left foot. “AAAAAAHH! GET AWAY GET AWAY GET AWAY FROM ME AAAAAAA!!” She paddled furiously with her arms while raising her legs away from the creature’s snout. In the process, she became unbalanced and the tube flipped her over into the water.

“HELP! HELP!,” the girl shrieked as she swam downstream as fast as she could, past her laughing brother and smiling Momma. Willow’s Poppa grabbed her arm as she passed his tube.

“Hey, daughter! Look back at Angie.”

She did – and saw her older sister grab the croc’s nose. She pulled it out of the water – revealing the monster as just a big, green, floating foam rubber shoe.

“Did you lose this, sir?” Angie yelled at the bearded man. He nodded, and she tossed the “Croc” brand slipper back to him.

A sheepish Willow swam back to her tube and climbed back onto it.

~o~O~o~

Willow rode her Schwinn bike away from Bernard's job as she mused on the memory. Slowly, embarrassment brewed into resentment. I can’t believe I was so stupid. Everyone was laughing at me like I was an idiot. Yeah, as if THEY hadn’t ever made a mistake before. Her frustration began to burn a hole in her psyche, and without realizing it she started to grind her teeth as her face twisted into a furious rage.

“FUCK ME! FUCK THEM! FUCK EVERY-GOD-DAMN-BODY,” she screamed as she, in one fluid motion, dismounted her moving bicycle and flung it by the handlebars into the street. Two cars almost crashed head-on into each other as one swerved to miss running over it; both of them screeched to a stop. The swerver, a bald man in a red sedan, rolled down his window. “Young lady! What the heck did you do that for? You almost killed me and this other guy!”

“Oh God – I’m, I’m so sorry!” she blubbered as she ran out to retrieve her Schwinn, tears suddenly gushing from her eyes.

~o~O~o~

Hey Bern. U there?

Yep! Those cookies were awesome, babe. I shared a few with the guys at the shop, and they were all wishing you were their GF. They were jealous of me before, but the choc chips sent them thru the roof with envy.

Oh good! Needed 2 hear that. Been a rough day.

What? Really? U seemed fine at the shop.

Didn’t have time 2 tell u. I had a guy bully me at school, and he was super slick about it. The cameras won’t pick up that he was doing anything wrong. And latr on my bike I threw a tantrum; nearly caused huge car wreck. Happened after I left the shop.

Whaaaat? R u OK? And – Rage/fit??? Where did that come from? Long time since that’s happened, right?

Not since I had run-in with Rico at coffee shop all those months ago. I’m OK physically, not so much emotionally.

So what’s the root of that?

THAT’S THE PROBLEM, I DON’T EXACTLY KNOW! Was having a stupid memory, next thing – EXPLOSION. Came on so fast – wasn’t expecting it! I’m scared, – can’t have that kind of stuff happening again. Is Angry Bill trying to come back? Or am I becoming Angry Willow? Oh God please not that! Wish u were here; could really use being held. I know, it’s after 10, no visitors allowed.

Babe. Calm down. U R gonna be fine. Do these things, K?
- 1 – Call ur sponsor ‘bout this fury-fit.
- 2 – Go tell ur mom that u need 2 be held. Ur nevr 2 old 4 a momhug.
- 3 - Then text me back & tell me bout this bully. We’ll figure out sumthin’ 4 him.
- 4 – Say out loud x25: Bern luvs me like crazy and no matter what we’ll face all this together.

…..

Babe U there?

Sorry, I was doing the last thing first. Feel a li’l bettr. Will call Julia now. I love you, BF!

~o~O~o~

To be continued tomorrow.

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Thanks for reading!