Dear BC readers: most of my output has been dramas, with action and romance mixed in. I do have a love of humor, though, and I warn you, it is fairly unsophisticated (puns, limericks, etc.) I ran across these names at the CAR TALK website. I laughed so much, I had to share some with you. To make it appropriate for BC, I have added a Transgender theme. So if you enjoy this type of stuff, enjoy! If not, toss those rotten eggs - I'm tough enough to take it!

You are what you do. So said Socrates. Well, meet a city that takes that literally.

(AT/Reiters) - Welcome to Transname, Tennessee, one of the most transgender friendly towns on earth. The founder and mayor is a male to female transsexual, and founded the town five years ago just after her SRS. Because of the TG-friendly policies here, the place has grown by leaps and bounds — it now is home to more than 50,000 people, all either transgendered or transgender-friendly. Both MTF and FTMs feel equally at home here. There is, however, one city law that has everyone a little surprised: The need for a ‘work name’.

“Dammit, I’m getting too old to remember who you are AND what exactly you do,” insists city founder/current mayor Hedda State. “So since we made it so easy here for citizens to change their names to reflect their birth genders, I require that they also have a name that reflects what their individual jobs are. Take me, for example. My final term as mayor expires in three years. Then I’m changing my name to Gladys Overwith, and retiring.”

A look through the town’s work name phone book is quite revealing. Sometimes the work name will reveal other things also, such as a persons’ nationality; the name also reflects the person’s new gender. What follows is a partial list.

ATTORNEYS
Oldest Law Firm in Town …………………………. Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe
Specialist in Appealing Convictions …………. E. Shelby Released
Mediation law ………………..……………………..….Sue Phirst
Tax law …………………………………………..……….Lou Pole
Criminal Defense Attorney ………………………. Donatella Dicoppas
Appeals specialist………………………………….….Bud Uronner

BUSINESS PEOPLE
Payroll administrator………………………………..Imelda Czechs
Self-assertiveness trainer …………………..……. Lois Steem
Complaints ………………………………………..……. Kurt Reply
Staff disciplinarian …………………………………… Joaquin D’ Planque
Accountant ……………………………………………… Candace B. Rittenoff
Senior staff advisors ………………………………... Ben Thayer, Don Thatt
Idea man ………………………………………….…….. Drew A. Blank
Employee loyalty expert ………………………….. Upton Leftus
Switchboard operater ……………………………… Levon Hold
Director of Purchasing ………………………..…… Lois Bidder
Appropriator of Bonuses …………………….…… H. I. “Lee” Unlikely
In charge of Promotions…………………………… Wendy Pigsfly
Spanish translation checker …………………….. C. S. Verdad
Financial outlook predictor ……………………… Hugh Don Wannano
Layoff counselors ……………………………………. Harry Verderchi, Oscar LaVista

SECURITY SERVICES
Security guard monitoring cameras ……….…. Constance Noring
Perimeter security ……………………………………. Barb Dwyer
Personal bodyguard …………………………………. C. Howie Runn
Security helicopter pilot……………………………….Yulanda U. Lucky

CITY AND STATE EMPLOYEES
Animal control ………………………………………….. Turner Luce
Police chief ……………………………………………..… Amanda B. Reckonwith
Mailman …………………………………………………… Alfredo D. Rottweiler
Voting administrator ……………………….………… Emanuel Recount

SCHOOL OFFICIALS AND COACHES
Prom chaperone……………………………………..……Theresa Crowd
Cheerleading coach ……………………………………. Hugo Girli
Bungee Jump Instructor …………………………….. Hugo First
Hockey coach ……………………………………….……. Miss Inga Tooth
Beginners ice skating coach ……………………….. Landon McKeester
Bowling coach (Israeli) …………………………..….. Menachem Down
Self defense instructor …………………………….… Anita DeGroin
High School Lunchroom Quality Assurance…. Howard M. Taters
Machine shop instructor…………………………...….Les Fingers

CHURCH MINISTRIES
Prophet ………………………………………………….….. Vera Lee Isay
Preacher …………………………………………….……… Boris Tadeff
Church soundboard operator (sits through all 3 of Boris’ sermons on Sunday mornings) ………….……….. Diana Boredom
Prayer warrior.............................................................. Denise Hurt
Points the bathrooms out to first time visitors…. Trudy Door and Donna Hall
Swedish evangelist …………………………………….. Bjorn A. Gain
Spiritual guidance counselors ……………….……. Zeke and Ewell Find
Morality enforcer………………………………..………. Phyllis Steen

AUTO SALES, SERVICE, TRAINING AND INSPECTION
Family vehicle specialist ………………………..…… Minnie Van Driver
Used car salesperson …………………………………. Alexis Itznot
Alexis’ latest customer ……………………………….. Iona Heap
Alignment repairman ………………………………… Lou Segusi
Guarantor of repeat repair business ………..….. Lucien DeBolts
Inspector of 18-wheelers …………………………… Zbignew Rigg
Inspector of used cars ………………………….……. Ewell B. Hoofinett
Russian courtesy van driver ………………………. Pikop Andropov
Voice of your GPS ……………………………………… Mischa Turnov
Auto seat tester ………………………………..……….. Fitz Matusch
Auto body repair …………………………….………… Denton Fender
Classic car restoration ……………………….………. Orson Buggy
Defensive driving instructor ………………………. Faye Tality
Senior citizen driving instructor ……...…………. Tanya Blinkeroff

MEDICINE
Infection specialist……………………………………….Sal Monella
Geneticist……………………………………………………..Jean Poole
Ophthalmologists……………………………………..….Ike and Zeke Leerly
Neurologist…………………………………………………Sarah Bellum
Psychiatrist………………………………………………….U. Nita Schrinck
Proctologist…………………………………….…………..Ben Dover
Urologist……………………………………………………. I. P. Freighly
Acne specialist ………………………………………….. Don Pickett
FTM Transgender surgical specialist………….…Ben Hur

VARIOUS
Computer repair …………………………….…………… Dot Matrix
Code writer …………………………………………..……. C. Colon Backslash
Marriage counselor ……………………………………… Stan Beyerman
Supplier of beef to troops in Afghanistan ……. Sandy Berger
Toupee’ specialist ………………………………….…….. Hedda Harrigan
Tuxedo Rental …………………………………..……….. Euripides Ibreakauface
Protein shake salesman ………………………………. Emile Initzelf

Most of these were taken from the 'credits' at the CAR TALK website. If you're still here, please leave a comment! Thanks for reading - **Sigh**