What’s the big deal, right? Dad was letting me make my decision and Mom, Essie and Darby agreed it would be a good way to cap off a week of acting like a girl.

Hadley, as a self-appointed agent, sent a text to Underwood’s people as well as Swift’s asking about permission to sing their songs. We were pretty sure if she sent anything, which I doubted, she wouldn’t hear anything back.

I didn’t plan to go out bowling, after all; I forgot being holiday time, I could sleep in, in the morning. The other girls were going out and Essie pushed me to go with her.

Essie asked and the person at the bowling center desk, who found some girl shoes in my size with pom poms. Essie needed to tie them. Such a simple thing was giving me problems. Then it took two practice balls for me to learn the skirt shouldn’t be a problem. But it was the third frame that nervous me, slipped and plopped down on the lane as I had trouble letting go of the ball. Luckily my legs went out in front of me. No one told me until later that the skirt flew up behind me showing a little more. I guess I flashed a little of my panty clad butt as I got to my feet as well.

It wasn’t until the second game was to begin that Eric, a classmate from school, and two friends asked to bowl the second game with us. Eric had recognized me from things the girls had said. He whispered in my ear. “Matt you have more balls than I do to dress like that. Even being silly and doing this for fun you are going to get teased royally,”

Thankfully, Essie pointed out, “Eric, I hope you realize that there are a few more girls other than Marti who is beating you this game. If you don’t tell, neither will we on you.”

I said, “I think these many girls are making him nervous or envious that he’s not one of them.” Eric became upset, and it took Essie and one of her friends to soothe Eric's feelings.

Their friend Megan talked to me and got me to apologize. I had realized that Eric, Tad, and Sammy though each had good size weren’t very social. That they saw themselves in different ways. I was acting like a girl, the way two of them felt. Tad the other saw himself drawn to both Eric and Sammy. I apologized and we changed the focus of our evening to encourage them.

Essie and I cuddle openly and felt the judgment of others at the bowling lanes. Part of me wished to speak as Matt and quickly put on my clothes and yell. “I’m a straight boy!” But there was no way, I would. I was so much in love, yet I ached as I felt hurt by others disliking us.

We stayed out until midnight, it was so joyous to tune out others and to be in our group. The hardest part of going home was; I was afraid my parents wouldn’t understand my evening. Worst I feared they'd be upset with me.

Once home, Darby and my mother were both still up; my dad was asleep as he needed to work helping his Mom in the morning.

I said a quick goodnight but stayed awake, quite unsettled and unable to rest. Mom asked and even Darby waited to find out what had me so wound up. When I told them, I captioned it by saying, 'you won’t understand.' But they stayed and nodded their heads as they did. Mom and Darby hugged me. Darby smiled as she looked me in the eyes, “Do you remember Uncle Drew?”

I said yes but I hadn’t seen him in five years. Drew was my Mom’s friend that my sister and I came to call Uncle Drew. Darby told me that I had hurt Uncle Drew saying something he overheard.

I said, “I was twelve and in sixth grade. We said stupid things then, especially when we didn’t understand. Is that why he has stayed away?”

Mom said, “We see him now and then, but he has chosen to come here when you’re away.” I began to cry, Uncle Drew was a neat guy that has stayed away because of me. Here I was crying as Marti but it was Matt’s shame I was carrying.

Mom comforted me, saying, “Maybe now Drew will feel comfortable with you again. I am sure it will do his heart good… You, sensitized young man, need to take your makeup off, moisturize your skin and we all need to get to bed.”

Saturday morning, it was confirmed for the TV show that I was being asked to sing like Taylor Swift and that we were cleared to do so. I would sing "What Child is This" and if asked for a second song it would be, “Last Christmas.”

I was wearing a pair of designer jeans that had a stylized M on the back pockets for the women’s store from whence they came. I had three days left as Marti and I plan to enjoy them, though I’m also looking forward to not taking off my makeup or primping myself to look nice. I enjoy understanding all the work it takes to be a girl.

My phone indicates I got a message and I check it is from Eric saying he, Sammy, and Tad were thankful for last night. I discovered another message from Megan, inviting me to a girls' sleepover, Sunday night. I hear Essie coming into the house. “Marti are you getting ready.” When I told her I picked out the songs, she said, “But you need to practice them. I came and your mother has agreed to help. You need to prepare for speaking on the show as well. Can you talk as Marti and also as Matt to assure them you are indeed a boy.”

Intimidated, “Maybe I should call it off.”

“You have to be kidding,” Essie says. “You should be an excited girl!”

“But that’s it, I’m not a girl.”

Essie says, “That’s the fantastic part of it. I wonder if Sara Brolin will hear from guys who wished they had done it or wished they had their girlfriend’s encouragement and their parents' support. You saw and felt for Eric. Isn’t it fantastic to be you?”

“I hear you, in some ways it is overwhelming. If you need to snuggle or for me to listen let me know. We have time for that as well.” She was good for her word, we took time with each other.

After an hour, I was ready to sing through each song again and again. Finally, Mom came and she talked with me as Sara Brolin might do. Mom even had some questions from Ms. Brolin. Sara wanted me to talk just enough as Matt, without losing my sense of being a girl.

Mom, Essie, and Darby took me out. I thought we were going for a late lunch, but it was for a nice pair of girls’ shoes instead and the open toe shoes were a prelude to what came next.

They didn’t realize it but it was one of the things I thought was still missing. My hands had been done before but now it would be a pedicure as well as a manicure. Hope and Jalyn were happy to see us back and delighted to hear I was going to be on Sara Brolin’s Today at Sunrise. Hope reminded me not to panic when they helped with my makeup in the morning that it was being done for the camera lights.

The program usually had a live audience of a few extra staff, but we were hearing from Hadley, Eric, and Tad, other girls that they would be there. Sara Brolin had invited Monica, the woman I met from the Season of Lights who had heard me sing as an impersonator.

My statements that I wasn’t a personality were falling on deaf ears. Hope was giving me a more subtle look of white inside my eyes close to my nose, under my eyes, and above, and the mascara a little bolder.

Hope whispered, “You should wear a good pad with your panty. You are likely to get excited tomorrow with no time to get nervous or to wet yourself.” At first, I thought she was teasing, but I would find a way to do it without others knowing. Things had taken a little longer all the while I was getting hungrier. It was a mixture of frustration and glee that I went to a woman’s boutique where we checked the coming spring fashions, clearance sales, and sampled some perfume and cosmetics.

When we got home there was a limousine waiting in front of our house and my father waving us over. Laurie and Grandma were back and I was the honored guest. Dad shook his head, seeing me all fancied up as a beautiful young girl. Laurie and Grandma remarked that I was much more relaxed and natural from a few days earlier.

Laurie remarked, “I am amazed at how wonderful you look, but I’m going to be relieved when I get my cousin Matt back.”

The restaurant was a posh Italian-American place, not a chain but well known in our area. My folks went here for a good evening out and Darby and I had only gone once. Matteo greeted us and asked my father, “But where is your son, I thought he was to be the honored guest?”

“Matteo, I hope you don’t mind but my son has dressed up today as Marti; she will be on a morning news show tomorrow morning, TV9.”

Matteo turned and smiled, “Your Dad told me how he is proud of you. If you’d like to sing one of your songs tonight just let me know. But that is for later and only if you wish to. Enjoy your night, we are always happy to have you here.”

We are being seated and it is strange to have someone holding a chair to help seat me. My father leaned over to me, “I did tell him about the show in the morning but I did not mention you singing. Please know, it is not required of you.”

I had the wedding soup, a small salad and Italian fish fillet which was new to me. I continued to amaze myself in trying new things. A violinist played for us during dinner and presented me with a rose. We were about done when the waiter brought out a tray of small champagne glasses. Matteo was back to present the toast, “To the young man great enough to be a woman. Salute.”

Matteo again approached me saying, “My son and three of his friends believe they can accompany you as if you were Taylor Swift; they would be honored if you wished.”

My Dad started to stand and apologizing saying ‘no’. I stood, “Dad it would be fun to try. Matteo, I’m not promising how this will turn out.” His son Ricco was there and I recognized Santino as well. I winked and we laughed. We agreed that Last Christmas would be fun. They began and I joined in. The people applauded as they recognized the song and again as I finished.

Matteo came clapping, “Wow, Marti makes an attractive woman, and makes one think that Taylor Swift herself was here tonight. Young lady, I hear you have been asked to sing at the New Year’s Eve celebration. I for one would find that worthy of my going there.” I am embarrassed by his praise and shyly make my way back to our table.

Getting home, I am exhausted and I need to be up early at 4 a.m. I give Essie a warm hug and kiss goodnight. Lipstick to lipstick is, even more, a sensual sensation. Dad took Essie home. Mom and Darby took me upstairs. I took a short shower now, knowing I would have another after I woke. The fragrance of the soap along with the hint of oil feels marvelous. The nightgown and panty have me ready for bed. I hardly remembered taking off my makeup or fixing my hair.

It is barely 9 p.m. but I’m tired and drift off to sleep quickly. Come 9:40 I got a robocall that reminded me of the program in the morning. When I tried to get back to sleep Darby knocked on the door asking me. “Who are you talking to; I thought you were trying to get to sleep early?”

Darby was sorry she disturbed me but suggested I turn my phone completely off. She gave me a back rub. Her comment that I felt more like a girl in the short week was disturbing.

To be Continued…