Right Of Passage –

“Yuck!”

“If you didn’t say that, I might send you to a different kind of doctor.” Dr. Feldman probed Mike’s anus and felt for his prostate. Mike’s face grimaced in extreme pain. “That is isn’t good young man.” He withdrew his finger and slapped off the glove throwing it into a bin. “You can sit up now and put on your underwear.”

Mike pulled up his underwear feeling the petroleum jelly in his posterior and how weird it felt. “Anything wrong with me Doc?”

“Well, a thirty-two year old man shouldn’t have an enlarged prostate like yours. How often do you pee at night?”

“About two, maybe three times.”

“Well, that is too much added to the seven or eight times a day you already mentioned. I don’t think you have cancer. The blood tests should determine that. But, in the meantime, since you aren’t married, do you have a girlfriend or an intimate partner?”

“No. Are you kidding, this is a retirement community. I only get hit on by great granny with a walker.”

“Does this mean that you hardly take matters into your own hands to relieve sexual tension?”

If anyone else but his doctor had asked that question, he might have slapped them. “Uh, no.”

“I understand. That is probably how it got enlarged. Not ejaculating on a monthly basis is more than likely causing this. You ought to consider finding release on a regular bases. But, not having a sex partner means you can’t have someone do a prostate massage. Now, I could get you a device, but your reaction to the process signaled me that it isn’t the best course of action. And, since you aren’t dating or really going to meet someone soon, I am going to write a three month drug therapy script for you.”

“What does that mean?”

“I am going to give you hormone blockers and estradol, a female hormone.”

“Why?”

“Because I know you. You won’t stop to take care of your body. You won’t do the massages. But, you will be faithful about taking the pills. And frankly, because you aren’t dating, I think this is the best approach to having an enlarged prostate. And, if it does turn out to be cancer, which I doubt, you will be on these drugs anyway. Expect your libido to tank and for you to get emotional. Other than that, a three month regime of this drug will get your prostate down to a reasonable size in no time.”

“I have had clients before who have been on that drug therapy. I guess you are right. I don’t have someone to massage my prostate. And frankly, I find that part of my body icky.”

Dr. Feldman nodded and then leaned over his computer keyboard peeking and poking away with his index fingers. “Oh damn, that is stupid.”

“What?”

“If I give you a three month prescription, the cost goes up to full price. If I give you a standard 18 month refillable prescription, you just have a twenty percent co-pay. Just take it for three months right now. If the tests come back positive for prostate cancer, then stay on them.”

And that was how Mike’s passage was set right.

The first week, all Mike could think of was to take the pills in case of cancer. Then he got the all clear. He had so much work to do at the bank. He was the personal banker for First Mountain Bank of Edelberg Retirement Village, NC. The town was age limited except to employees. He lived in a nice little apartment around the corner from the bank and could walk there every morning. In fact, he could walk everywhere he needed to in this little community. The street was made to look like old Americana. The barber would wave at him as he walked by. He would go in about once every four months for a haircut. Somehow, the elderly folk liked his pigtail. He would get complements on his looking like their days of rebellion in the 60s.

Often, he would stop in the coffee shop. It was no Starbucks, but a hot cup of coffee and a slice of coffee cake were a pleasant way to start the day. He enjoyed running into this clients there too. They cared about him. They would ask after his family, though he had none. Somehow, being orphaned at a young age and not having any family made him someone they could relate to in so many ways. They were the ignored ones. The village was nothing more than God’s waiting room to the lost and lonely of bygone days. When it came Christmas time, he was the token child they could spoil with a hand knitted scarf, fruit cake, or a book. Truth was, he liked it. Having no family was tough. He really appreciated every gift.

On Monday morning, a week after he started the pills, he found himself sitting in the coffee shop watching people come in and out. He began feeling melancholy, almost as if a light switch turned on, or, in this case, turned off. With every client coming in, he felt empathy for those coming in like never before. Feeling overwhelmed, he stepped out the back door and hid in alley way among the horrible smell of garbage cans that had yet to be emptied by the weekly runs of the garbage company. He stood there and balled his eyes out uncontrollably. It seemed like hours, but after fifteen minutes he finally brought his emotions under control. The funny thing he couldn’t comprehend was that if felt so good to have done that and curiously refreshing. Rather than feeling lost, he felt warm and loving. He wanted to help these people feel loved. The feeling were new and wonderful. In fact, deliciously intoxicating.

His rational side kicked in and he realized the hormones he was taking were affecting his emotions. But, in a strange way, they were more enjoyable than before and he found himself looking forward to more changes from the pills. In fact, to his astonishment, he concluded that never before in his life had he ever felt so alive as when he was taking them. They were becoming as addictive as the caffeine he had to have every morning, he surmised.

Heading into his office, he cleaned himself up. During the day, he also found he had more pep and energy. That was a huge surprise. In the evening, he went to take his pills and looked at the prescriptions. To his amusement they were indeed refillable for up to six times. What was more, the quantity of pills were just right for three months. He was glad that he didn’t need to go that long, but began to wonder if it might be worth it to continue. The benefits he was experiencing were life changing. A little research online informed him told him that going that long might not have an impact on his body.

Two months later, Dr. Feldman examined him again. “Your prostate has shrunk considerably. I would say that you can finish out your prescription and you will be fine. Everything will go back to normal hormonewize and you will have your libido return and normal. I will call you if your blood tests reveal anything to be concerned about.”

“Thanks Doc.”

“I have to go. Sorry that I am so busy I can’t give you more time. Any questions before I go?”

“None that I can think of. “

“Well, if you have any more problems, give me a call.”

“Oh, what about the prescription?”

“Keep taking it to the end of what you have got.” Mike smiled and nodded in agreement. He mused that Dr. Feldman meant to the end of bottle, not the prescription. But, he had his doctor’s orders, didn’t he?!

Walking out of the office and down the main street to his office, he stopped to look at the local dress shop window. It was funny, but he never looked at the mannequins before. The outfits they were wearing were nothing more than outfits woman would wear to the tennis courts or golfing. It wasn’t really much of a dress shop he thought. Then again, the days when the ladies who would shop there expecting to be dressed to the nines in order to turn heads had long since passed.

There wasn’t much work for him to do and he had an excuse for being away from work, so he continued his long walk. He turned and did a little walk up the Smoky Trail which went up a short distance to Iron Hill Knob. He took in the view of the small retirement village below which had grown in recent years. Many of the residents originally came from New York by way of Florida. Florida was too hot for them and they missed their New York winters. North Carolina became a good place to come to and retire.

That evening, as he sat eating dinner, he pulled over his laptop and began reading a story in the Wall Street Journal. On the side of the story was a Malcolm Brother’s ad for their women’s line of clothing. He never knew they had clothes for women. He found himself clicking on the link just to see what it looked like. The dress he saw used the fabric from one of his favorite Malcolm ties. It was a deep navy blue with small round purple dots. It was a causal dress. On a lark, he download the image of the dress and found a digital photo of him. He clipped out his head and put it on the dress. Instead of laughing, he found himself crying. He liked what he saw. Something inside of him craved the chance to wear that dress. Nervously, he clicked on a tab and asked google how to size him. Soon, he felt he was a size ten. On impulses driving him, he ordered the dress in size ten. He was delighted to see that it would be there in two days. Then he had a thought. With a few more clicks, he had panties.

Two days later, he was alone during a bank holiday looking at the package he had received the day before. He opened it and looked at the dress. Then he opened the other package and pulled out a pair a panties. He put them on first and then put on the dress. It buttoned down the front and had a built in belt. It was lose on him, but it didn’t matter. He just wanted to see things for himself. When he looked in the mirror, he was taken back. His hair, which he had let grow out even more since starting the hormones, cascaded down his shoulders. His freshly shaven face was masculine, but what he saw filled him with joy. He wasn’t a bad looking woman. Get rid of the Adam's apple, the beard, and feminize the face. Yea, he could pass for a woman if he worked at it.

“Shoes, I need shoes.” he said out loud. Going back to his laptop, he started to look through guides to shoe sizing. Soon, he clicked on fairly simply wedges. Next, he opened up sizing charts on bras and breast forms. Little by little, he found what he needed to transform himself into a her. Over the next few weeks, he shaved all of his hair off below the neck. Then he ordered from Ebay an electrolysis machine and began to use it on his face and the rest of his body.

It was almost like he was on autopilot. By the start of the fifth month on hormones, he was well on his way to having his first full outfit complete with breast forms giving him a nice flattering form. He even lost about twenty pounds walking everyday before work and after. He was never so fit. His enthusiasm for life was growing with day. So much so that those who worked along side of him started teasing him asking him what her name. Finally, he named her. Mandy. “Maybe Mandy will stop by one day.:

Nightly, he surf sites on how to become a woman. He practiced tucking. He ordered gaffs. He ordered make up and female voice training DVDs. By the ninth month on hormones, he noticed his chest becoming sensitive. He was half way through the hormones and began to panic about them ending. Searching through website after website, he found a doctor in Dunwoody, GA, about a two hour drive away, that would see him about his gender issues. Normal RLT, Real Life Trial, was out of the question given the kind of clientele he worked with, however, he had a loop hole. His company would give him a year long sabbatical to take business courses so long as they had a five year exclusive option to hire him. That meant he could only work for them or their holding company.

Having been accepted for the program, Mike secured an apartment in Atlanta and began to buy clothes for it. The twelfth month, he traveled to Thailand and had feminaztion surgery done on his face and kneck. His vocal chords were shaved and tightened. Upon returning to the states, he began taking forensic accounting courses in college as a woman. No one noticed that she, used to be a he. The courses went quickly. His new doctor renewed the HRT prescription after he had gone through an orchiectomy so he didn’t need hormone blockers anymore. Finally, after finishing her courses, she went to Thailand once again and had her top and bottom surgeries done.

Recovering in Atlanta, she packed up after a month and moved back to her little apartment down the street from the bank. When she walked into the bank, she introduced herself as Mandy. Those who knew smiled. Those who didn’t were told Mike had gone away for good. Many of the clients who came in said she was much better than the nice man that was there before. Business was so good that they hired a man who had recently lost his wife due to cancer. His kids were in college and he was looking to scale down and be in a place where it was peaceful and he could visit them when he needed.

“Mandy,” he said. “I just want you to know that I had the love of my life taken from me. I came here to avoid romance.”

“I understand.” she said. She smiled and went about her work. “I am okay with being just friends. Trust me.”

But, soon, the attraction between them was undeniable. He would take walks with her. They would talk about sports and whatever topic seemed fun for the day. “Do you want children?” he asked.

“I can’t have any, I am afraid. I am sterile.” she lamented as they climbed the mountain one day.

“I am sorry to hear that. It seems unfair that a woman as beautiful and caring as you should have to spend her life alone.” Mandy teared up a little at his observation. He was a caring man.

“It’s okay. I have my family here. And I love these people.”

At the top of the hill, Jonathan put his arm around her. “I hope you don’t mind.” speaking of his putting his arm around her.

“Not at all. I enjoy the warmth of your companionship.” She put her arm around him.

“I like yours too.” With that, he bent down and kissed her. She couldn’t believe it, but she melted in his arms. She responded and kissed him back surprised by her response. Daily, their love grew for each other. Then, one day, he did the thinkable, he got down on one knee and proposed to her.

“Jonathan, before I say yes, there is something you should know. I used to be a man.” She hung her head down in shame. She knew she should have told him from the beginning, but didn’t know how.

He lifted her chin. He was beaming. “I know. The rumor mill at work told me months ago who you had really been.”

“But Jonathan ...” He silenced her with a passionate kiss.

“Well?” he asked.

“Yes.” she said after catching her breath.

“Will you?”

“Yes.” and she through her arms around him and kissed him back. They held hands as the sun set.

“Yuck!” Dr. Feldman said.

“What’s the matter?” Mandy asked sounding confused.

Dr. Feldman was looking through online literature on caring for a transgendered patient. “It says here that even though you have transitioned, I still have to do a prostate exam for you on a regular basis.”

The two of them looked at each other and they just busted up laughing.

Copyright © 2017 by AuP reviner