Quip and Quibble --

Mr. Jackson regarded the terrible twosome with disdain. Seeing them in the front row sent all the teachers in the school through the roof at times. They were a time bomb waiting go off. It did no good to separate them. They were psychically connected. Best keep them in one place as it made yelling at them all the easier. Quip and Quibble, as they become known in the break room, were Tom and Jack. The two delighted in driving teachers nuts. One would quip the most audacious one liners during a lecture and the other delighted in quibbling about the subject at hand, no matter what it was.

For the last several weeks, they had disrupted his health class on more than one occasion stealing valuable teaching time from the other students. Resolved to demotivate them once and for all, he decided to take a more progressive approach to stilling their natural tendencies.

"Today's subject is Transgenderism."

Right on cue, Tom announced to the predictable laughter, "I have an outie but I always wanted an innie."

"Thank you for volunteering, Tom. Could you come up here please?" After a little intense instruction, he reluctantly came up and stood next to Mr. Jackson,

And, again, as if on cue, Jack quibbled, "Tom's a guy. How could he possibly understand being transgender? That makes no sense."

"Thank you for volunteering Jack. Could you please come up?" Jack came up and stood next to Tom. "Okay, I think most of you know what transgenderism is and I really don't have to go in it with you. But, I am going to set something up with the boys here and tomorrow we will begin a discussion of what it means to be transgender. I will let you just have fun talking among yourselves for the period. Just not to loud, okay?"

Taking the boys aside, he stated, "I am going to call your parents tonight to get special permission for tomorrow. You will meet me in the office tomorrow morning before the start of classes. Your first period teachers will be notified, so don't worry."

That night, on a conference call, Mr. Jackson talked to the parents, "I know you all are aware of the reputation of your boys. They are sharp, smart, and, sadly, given to interrupt the classes they attend together unnecessarily. They go in together and sign up for the same classes."

Tom's dad said, "We would be okay with you putting them in different classes."

Mr. Jackson responded, "That is one possibility. But, they are leaders. For all their interference, they do aid in some way the teacher. They make the topic they quip and quibble about relevant to the other students. It is just they are too proud of their abilities to know when to stop."

Jack's mom asked, "Then what is your solution?"

Mr. Jackson said, "My solution is simple. I want them to come into the office and wear a dress for a day. The teachers will make an announcement that their is a sensitivity lesson going on today. That if they see two boys in a dress, they aren't to tease them. They are going to be in a dress for the day. They will be excused from P.E. They only need to walk the track. And, the following day, they will discuss with their health class how they felt. But, in order to do this, I need your permission."

After a brief discussion, with the parents in agreement, sent out an email to the teaching staff and to the administration. He then went out with his wife and chose some appropriate dresses at the Walmart. The next morning, the boys came into the office and found out their fate.

"I've discussed it with your parents. They all agreed to this."

Jack was dumbfounded, "You mean my mom said it would be okay?"

"And my dad?" Jack inquired.

"Yup, there is an empty room. Take off you clothes except for your underwear and put on the dresses."

In the dressing room, Tom quipped, "I am not going to let that bastard win. We are going to hold our heads up proud. This is the stupidest idea ever." He turned around, "Can you zip me up please?"

Jack agreed. "Good plan. I don't see the whole point of this either. I think we should just act as we normally do. Treat it as the joke it is." He zipped up Tom's dress and allowed, "Although, you do have the legs for it." Tom laughed and zipped up Jack's dress.

Walking into their first class, they knew there had been an announcement about this exercise. The two did a brief curtsy before shuffling into their chairs. Tom snickered that he had to redo it so his underwear didn't show. Lisa, one of the girls in the class, saw him do this and snicked. He just rolled his eyes at her and giggled.

If their English teacher was expecting any difference that morning, the boys appeared only a little more subdued than normal. Maybe it was the discussion of Wuthering Heights. Tom did quip that Heathclif was a fine looking cat while Jack quibbled about why would any girl think he was sexy. As they left the class, the girls giggled and suggested to Tom he ought to shave his beard. "But, this completes me as a woman, don't you think?"

The two turned into the boys room wondering if they should enter dressed as they were. Mark, a senior, laughed as they came in. "Now, ladies need to sit." The chorus of boys chimed in. "You girls just have to sit to pee, you know!" Dutifully, the boys skipped to the stalls blowing everyone a kiss and entered the stalls. "Hey Jack?"

"Yes Tom?"

"How do you sit and pee in one of these things?"

"Hell if I know?"

"Hey Mark, can you get instructions from one of the girls. I got to pee badly!"

Soon, Mark came in with the instructions. "Just in time, Mark!" said Tom.

"Yeah, thanks Mark." added Jack.

After math class, where little had changed since math was relatively immune to their quips and quibbles, they headed to the cafeteria. Everybody stopped by the table to talk to them. Despite Mr. Jackson's intention of reaching them, it appeared they were more popular than ever. A couple of high fives and a request to dance with them became the new side show. In a falsetto, Jack exclaimed, "Oh Mark, you dance divinely!" He folded his hands together and leaned on them with his head pinning them on his shoulders. "Oh my! I think I am in love."

On the opposite side, Tom was dancing with the captain of the football team. He pretended to slap him and shouted, "I am not that kind of girl, you brute." Then acting coy and pointing his finger under his chin, he said demurely for everyone to hear, "Well, not until after ten o'clock at night, you brute."

After lunch, they were excused form P.E. and just walked around the track. Every so often, one of the classmates would run by. "Hey gals, that was hysterical in the cafeteria." They would get a high five.

"I don't know what Mr. Jackson is trying to prove?"

"How is this supposed to reach us?"

"Got me. I think he has lost his marbles if you ask me."

Next, during health class, the two sat listening to a boring lecture about the history of the transgender. Tom quipped, "I now say 'Oh Girl!, instead of 'Oh boy!' No one really laughed. Jack just didn't feel like quibbling in a dress.

During history class, their last class of the day, the novelty had worn off. Many in the class didn't laugh like early in the day. Not even when Tom quipped about joining the suffragette movement after the class was over. Nevertheless, the day, they felt, had been a complete bust as far as what Mr. Jackson wanted to show them. When the final bell rang, everyone bustled out of the room. They lingered for a moment and then headed out on their way, certain that this episode in their brief lives would be just a faded memory.

As the two boys began their trek back to the office confident that they had beaten the system, things changed. In the hustle and bustle of the grand exodus, a hand pulled firmly on Tom's arm. The two stopped. A kid from their history class looked at them both. His name was Jim. "Can I talk to you both secretly, please?"

Deftly escorting them into a nearby vacant classroom, Jim made sure he didn't draw the attention of the hallway chaos. Once inside, Jim said, "I bet you both think this was stupid?"

"Completely. I don't see what the point of this was?" quipped Tom.

"Like, who needs this crap from teachers?" quibbled Jack.

"I do. I watched you today turn this into a mockery. I need you both to understand how important this is. Do your realize who you were making fun of at all?" They looked at each other and then at him. His voice cracking, he said, "I-i'm transgender you idiots!" Jim blushed.

Speechless, they listened to Jim. "You guys have it all, brains, looks, and you are perversely popular. But, I suffer daily coming to school and no one knows the pain I suffer. I'm a girl in a boy's body and I hate it. But, you made it worse for me today, not better." Jim then whispered yelled at them, " What you guys get out this matters to me? I just wanted you to know that. Please, don't hurt me anymore by making what I am telling you another side show of yours! I'm not a joke or a punch line! I hurt!" With that, Jim ran out of the room in tears.

Tom and Jack just looked at each other not saying a word. They left the classroom and slowly walked back to the office. While they were changing clothes, Tom said, "Boy are we a bunch of insensitive dolts."

Jack added, "You got that one right. I've walked past Jim a hundred times and never knew he was hurting."

Tom sighed. "Or how much?"

The next morning, Mr. Jackson asked Tom and Jack to report on their experiences. Tom said, "I know we could talk about how everyone laughed and said this would backfire on Mr. Jackson."

Jack talked next in a very somber tone. "We thought it was stupid and meaningless. Put us in a dress as if that would change our sex. I was fully convinced it was the dumbest idea ever."

Then in unison, "But that changed yesterday. Someone talked to us yesterday alone after school."

"We never knew he was suffering."

"She was suffering."

"This person is afraid to come out because of how we treated wearing a dress all day."

"Mr. Jackson gave us this assignment so we could talk about the feelings of someone who is transgender. Frankly, it can't even come close to what we learned yesterday from someone who is."

For the rest of the school year, from all accounts, Quip and Quibble became a dream team for the teachers. Jim became their good friend as the two friends spent time with him in secret until he could come out announce to her parents and to the world who she really was.

Copyright © 2020 by AuP reviner

[Author's Note: This was a four hour challenge to myself to write a story. The concept behind it comes from the Public Speaking manual in the scouting merit badge for BSA. The scout is given a topic they have to speak on for two minutes having never been prepared for that topic. The value of the exercise is enormous. It forces one to see their areas of weakness as well as their strengths. It doesn't matter how well it is written. What matters is that it builds your confidence that you are growing as a writer or a speaker. -- AuP ]