My Mom Nose –

My haphazard journey began quite by accident. Literally. When I was a mere lad of five, in first grade, I made the mistake during a tag game at school of running full force into a tree trunk during recess. I didn’t know it at that moment, but I broke my nose. Sure, I was black and blue for a week. Everyone laughed. So did I, I guess. But, because it was just before the Christmas break and my birthday, I healed at home for three weeks before returning to school and never went to see the doctor. I should have. What I didn’t know until it healed was that it deformed my nose. I found out during my yearly wellness exam.

Fast forward to after I graduated from college. I was a stay at home know it all whose parents felt would benefit from a trip around the world to see how other people lived. They handed me a newly minted passport, an REI backpack filled with clothes carefully selected to give me the most options, a generous year’s income with various debit cards that I could access in special ways including a modest but large account for fun stuff, and sent me on my way saying that until I understood how lucky and privileged I was to be an American, don’t come home until a year had passed. Of course, they said it with a wink, a smirk and a really nice hug plus a tearful wave goodbye because they were going to miss me like crazy. I love my parents. They are so cool!

I hate jet lag. And I loath daylight savings time in the spring as well. So, I went west to the far east out of Chicago O’Hare. It was an incredible flight to Tokyo. I first went to Japan to attended a tea ceremony with those cute geishas in their ceremonial kimonos. It was way better than my visit to Japan at Epcot in Disney World. Their outfits are really the cat’s meow. (Old expression. I love old expressions. They are so hip and groovy!) But, Japan was way too expensive and I felt I could easily have burned through my year long stipend in a month. So, I traveled to Australia next figuring it would be cheaper than Japan. It was, but not as much as I would like. The exchange rate was too similar. And that is when I got the worst best piece of advice in my whole life.

“You haven’t lived until you visit Thailand, Mate.” said the man sitting next to me in an Irish pub one day.

“Really?” I was game to hear what he had to say.

“Oh man, great beaches, resorts, and it is a beautiful tropical place. Your parents are right. You aren’t going to see how the rest of the world lives coming to Japan and Australia. We live like Americans. Your parents want you to see places like Thailand and Indonesia.”

So, I found myself wandering into a booking agent in Sydney who arranged for me to go to Thailand and stay at a youth hostel. “If you are going to travel, you need to watch your money.” she said. “Your parents want you to understand how the rest of the world lives. Staying in nice hotels won’t teach you a thing. Someone your age needs to stay in a youth hostel.”

The Chia Youth Hostel in Bangkok was pleasant. No Chia pets, dang it. Set off from a major street whose name I could not pronounce, the entrance was well maintained and clean. “Mr. Lester, how long will you be staying with us?” said this elderly broken down tiny person who closely resembles a man, but may be a woman. My mind wandered for a moment as I contemplated writing a book called ‘101 Uses for a Dead Chia Pet.’

Startled back into reality by the anxious clicking of his pen, I quipped “I don’t know. Maybe a week or two before I move on.” I said it as nicely as I could but it didn’t seem to make any difference.

“Okay, but we have a month limit on how long you can stay. Okay?”

I wasn’t concerned in the least. “Yes, that will be fine. Where can I get something to eat?”

“McDonalds, around the corner. That is where all the Americans go.” Good, I wasn’t ready yet to try Thai cuisine yet.

During a late dinner happy meal, I talked to many Americans. One lady in particular stood out. “Why are you here?” I asked expecting to hear the usual ‘I am here to find spiritual Nirvana and become one with the weird god set in stone seated in the midst of the temple down the street.’

Her answer blew me away. “To get facial surgery. It is much cheaper here than in the states. Plastic surgery is not exactly covered by insurance, you know.”

Being a bit of an ass, I replied, “Maybe I should get some plastic surgery while I am here then.”

“Why?” Damn, she took me seriously. She is kind of nice and I need to be less of a jerk.

So, I made a quick excuse to get out of it. “Oh, I broke my nose when I was a kid. I just need to get a proper nose back so I can wear glasses right. I hate wearing sun glasses since they don’t fit right on my nose.” Hoping that she would see my reason was petty, I was taken back when she took me seriously.

“Here is my doctor’s business card. I am sure he could work you in.”

“How much is your surgery costing?” Maybe the cost could get me out of this, I thought.

“Two thousand dollars for the work I am doing now. I want to finish it off. It would cost $15,000 back in the States to have all that I have had done already. I have already spent $2,000 a few months back during my last trip. This is the final stage of my surgery.” Okay, the price she quoted isn’t too bad. And maybe this would make a better story back home than running with the bulls.

So, I did the stupid thing and I called and made an appointment with a Dr. Lai. “So, what do you want me to do?” he asked. His English was reasonable, I suppose. I kept it simple.

“Well, just like Terry, I want to get plastic surgery. Here is a picture of my mother. I look the most like her in my family, so I guess I would like my nose to look like hers somewhat. How it is placed in the face and the general features. I kinda like looking like my mom. She is a beautiful woman.” Sometimes, I just didn’t know when to shut up. But, I couldn’t help it. My mother was and is a very beautiful woman. I love her dearly.

At this point, I was hoping he would say, ‘Come back in three months because that is when my first opening is.’ No way was I going to be that lucky. “We can do it Friday because I have cancellation. It take three weeks to be healed enough for you to go on way.”

I smiled knowing that when I was done, I would look more like I should have. And, it meant that I would share an experience with Terry and have something to write home about. So, I signed the paperwork and gave them the money. My surgery was going to cost $4,200. Oh well, I thought, I had the money. My parents wanted me to spend it. What was the difference between a nose job and climbing Mount Everest. It seemed reasonable. Terry was trying to save money. So would I. Plus, I wanted all the bells and whistles to do it right, so I checked them on the form because it was cheap here.

Friday, Terry took me there and waited. She looked like hell too since her surgery had been on Wednesday. Her dulcet voice woke me up. “Wake up sunshine! Don’t speak. Just whisper.”

So I whispered, “Uh, oh, hi Terry. Am I done?”

“No speaking yet. Here is a clipboard. I’d say you are done. Like me, you will be bandaged for a few weeks, but we can keep each other company. I will do the talking. He did some alterations on your neck area too. I got some documents from him to be notarized at the U.S. Embassy. Nothing important. You will need to update your passport photo after all.” Thank goodness for her. I hadn’t thought of that.

I picked up a pen and wrote out on the clipboard she handed me, “That will be great. It will be rough to spend time with a nice girl like you, but I will endure. I still can’t understand why you needed the surgery though.”

Terry chuckled. “I told you. I am heading off to Los Angeles to become a famous actress. I needed to tweak a few things on my face before I become famous for my looks.” She swept aside her hair and pretended to push her bandaged nose up into the air.

I almost laughed. I wrote out, “Yeah, well, I think it wasn’t needed on you. You are so beautiful already. But, who am I to say. I just had a nose operation that technically I didn’t need. I just want to surprise my mother when I finally get home with a face that will get me a good job instead of my looking like a hockey player.”

After two weeks, my dressings came off and it still looked like I had been beaten up in a no holds barred bar room fight. My voice was coming back, but it sounded weaker somehow. “I thought it was just supposed to be my nose that got the treatment?”

“Oh no, they have to do your lips and eyes too in order to balance the new nose and the rest of the face. The doctors here are pretty thorough.”

“Balanced? I though I just asked for it to be narrowed.”

She smirked as if she knew something I didn’t. But did I get the message? No! She went on to say, “We have to move today. There is a hostel just down the road. They have a room for the both of us, if you don’t mind being in the same room as me.”

A little macho bravado was due her. “No, of course not. This isn’t a pass, is it?” I winked.

“Not really. No benefits, I assure you. But, you haven’t been a nasty boy and made advances on me, so I think I can trust you.” I blushed. She was right.

“Gee, thanks.” I tried to make a face. “Ow, that hurts. No, I understand. Besides, I don’t want any romantic entanglements until I get back to the states. Too many of my friends came back from their foreign trips with horror stories. Besides, my parents really do want me to learn about the world.”

Her retort was priceless and spot on. “So, your real excuse is that your are conflicted. If you meet someone you like from the states, your parents will hate you because you ignored their instructions. If you meet someone you like and you want to move to her country, your parents will disown you because you followed their instructions.”

I slumped back into my chair trying not to laugh. She had me. Looking back at her, I feigned a decent pout and said the only thing I could say. “So, that is why you aren’t afraid of having me in the same room?”

Her answer caught me by surprise. “Yup. I like you Sam, but you shouldn’t be on a trip like this. Your parents are from a 1960s mindset. They think the world is safe. It isn’t. You should have stayed home.”

“How do you know? Am I really that much of a fish out of water.”

“Positively flapping your cute little tail fin and gasping for breath with your gills because you can’t breath real air. It has to be watered down for you so you can breathe normally. You’ll see why soon.”

I was a bit perplexed by what she said. “When?”

“About five days from now I would think.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely. So, let’s get moving.”

For the next several hours, we gathered our stuff and moved down the street. To treat me for all my help, Terry introduced me to Thai cuisine. She started showing me around the town, temples, malls, more malls, and a few malls not listed in the Michelin guide. My feet hurt from so much walking. Yet, she only bought a few things. It was kind of fun to go with her. She teased me by putting outfits up against me as though I would wear them instead of her.

Then, about five days later, I woke up. The swelling had finally gone down. I went to check myself in the mirror at last. I nearly fainted when I saw the new me.

“Terry, I look like my mother!” I exclaimed.

“Yeah, I know. That is what I meant”

“No, I look like exactly like my mother. The hair, the face, everything. The only thing that doesn’t look like my mother is the light beard I have.”

“Well, hormones can change that. And electrolysis can get rid of the beard you do have.”

“Are you saying I should be a girl?”

“Yes. Why not.” With that, she pulled out one of the boxes from a mall and opened it. In it were a bra, panties, a dress and wedges. “Time to get you dressed, girl.”

“What is this?”

She was calm and forceful. “You know you want to do this. So stop complaining.”

Resigned to do what she asked because of her forcefulness, and I don’t know how, she helped me out of my clothes and I slipped into panties she had bought for me. She handed me something called a gaff and showed me how to hide my male appendage. Then, she put breast forms on me and put me in a bra. I had to shave and then she used some wax on me to remove body hair.

Afterwards, she helped me put on this beautiful flower print dress that came down to my knees. It had three quarter length sleeves which hide my somewhat muscular shoulders. Terry brushed out my long hair and did my make up. It felt so nice to be pampered by her. All the while, I was unable to resist her directions. It was as though something was compelling me to let her do it. Finally, she was done and I was so done for.

She pushed me in front of a full length mirror in the hostel. I stood there with my mouth gaping. “I-I l-look so pretty Terry.” was all I could say. I began to cry because I really liked what I saw.

“Yes you do Sam.” She embraced me and we hugged for the longest time until my tears dried up. “Time to go see the doctor. He has to look over his work and see how it has turned out.”

“Oh, not like this!” I protested in vain. “I can’t go like this. Please, Terry?”

She wasn’t going to have any of that. “Yes, like that. Come on girl.” She took my hand and we walked to the doctor’s office, a short distance away. “Here, you have to adjust your walk. You need to place one foot in front of the other like this.” She demonstrated how to walk like a woman.

I found myself doing what she did and it almost came naturally. A little ways down the street, she handed me the other purse she was holding. I was so taken back by what was happening to me, that I didn’t notice her carrying two purses. “I put your stuff into this purse. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Uh, thank you.” I wanted to blurt out, ‘what are you doing to me.’ But something was really holding me back. I noticed the guys around me were watching me. It sent tingles down my spine. I don’t know why, but I really enjoyed it. It so flattered me.

Terry looked at me noticing the attention of the men and said, with a giggle, “Wait until one whistles at you. You will never forget your first cat call.”

A few minutes later, I found myself sitting in front of Dr. Lai who was looking over his work. “You like?”

“Oh yes, I really do look like my mother. You did a great job.”

“Your mother is a beautiful woman and so are you young lady.” I blushed. I couldn’t believe I was enjoying this and the results. What really got me was what I asked next. “Do you do other surgeries too?”

“Yes. I do breast augmentation and bottom surgery.”

“Bottom surgery?”

“Yes, I turn your little boy into a little girl.” I don’t know why, but I giggled and smiled.

“Cost $12,000.” Dr. Lai added and titled his head to the side to see how I would react. I looked at Terry who was sitting nearby in a chair watching the whole thing.

Her face lit up when she said, “You know you want it, don’t you?” I am afraid my face lit up too. Dr. Lai had his answer.

I found myself trembling with excitement. My whole mind was consumed by the realization that what Dr. Lai was telling me he could do to me if I said yes. I then realized what I wanted with every fiber of my being was to do it. “Will you help me Terry?”

“You bet. I would be honored.” she said re-assuredly.

In the haze of the next thirty minutes as I signed paperwork and wired money to his clinic, I was laughing and giggling. I felt so happy. I felt alive.

Finally, on the way back to the hostel, I had to ask Terry a burning question. “Why are you helping me? And how did you know?”

“A Transgirl knows these things. Trust me.”

I stopped. I looked at her with tears in my eyes and, with my voice quivering, I opined with joy, “That means we will be like sisters.”

She smiled and nodded yes. I hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you, Sis.” I skipped back to the hostel forgetting to walk like a lady.

The next week saw me get my top and bottom surgery done. Now, I had to dilate every day and was on hormones. The doctor gave me B cups knowing I would grow into a larger cup size down the road.

Terry and I went to malls and got me all the clothes I needed. She took me to the Embassy to get my paperwork done and helped get my Michigan birth certificate changed too. She helped me get voice lessons and taught me how to act like a woman. After three months in Thailand learning to be a girl, getting my facial hair permanently removed daily, Terry and I left to go to India and other exotic locals as sisters with my brand new passport. I was a woman.

Soon, we found ourselves in Africa. We traveled to Seguela, Cote D’Ivoire, in an international school. We worked together teaching English to the students there. My French was poor, but I needed to teach English.

I loved all the little girls there. They loved me too. I formed incredible friendships and taught them all sorts of things.

In return, I learned what it was like to grow up as a girl. I saw little girls get their first period. I heard them complain about their growing breasts. In six months, I learned from the girls at my little school about what I missed out on as a girl. Terry had steered me right once again.

Terry came up to me and asked, “What do you think, Sam?”

“I feel like I am giving back. Like life has meaning. Being a real girl is insignificant to being a giver and not a taker.”

“I know. That is why I brought you here.”

“Terry, I am scared about going home. I am afraid my parents won’t understand.”

“Give them a chance. From what I can see in you, I bet you have nothing to worry about.”

“You mean it?”

“I know it. Just like I know that you were meant to be a girl and not a boy.”

“Thanks Terry. I can’t believe how much you have helped me. I feel like I haven’t given you anything of equal value in return.”

“Yes, you have.”

“What?”

“Friendship and trust. I am so lucky to be your friend and to be part of your journey.”

The year came to a close and Terry agreed to come with me to meet my parents and help me explain things. I was nervous as hell even though she kept reassuring me. I hadn’t told them or warned them of what I had done or even why I had done it. I was too afraid. What would they say.

When we got off the plane in Ann Arbor, my mother looked through me at first and then she realized who I was. “Oh my word! Sam, you have my nose now! You look so beautiful. I love it! And I sure missed you!”

Dad came up, looked me over, smiled and hugged me. “There’s my beautiful daughter! We are so glad to have you back home. It is so nice to meet you too finally, Terry.”

I couldn’t believe my mother and father were so accepting of me already and I was seriously confused because they acted as though nothing had happened.

“Mom, Dad, I c-changed my sex. You mean to tell me you didn’t notice?”

Mom grinned from ear to ear. “Oh yeah, we noticed Honey. You were so heart sick when you were little and broke your nose. You would look into the mirror and say that you never could be a girl with a nose like that. You would cry yourself to sleeping wishing you had your mom’s nose back. Then one day, you became so sullen and withdrawn, you never mentioned it again. We were worried. The doctors told us that you accepted the fact you were a boy biologically and to leave you alone. You had made your choice.”

Dad spoke up next. “We knew that you would never become the woman you were meant to be if we didn’t send you out into the world to discover that for yourself.”

Mom added, “And when Terry emailed us to ask us why you really wanted your nose done, we told her about your being a little girl trapped in a boy’s body years ago and wanting your mom’s nose back. She said she would help you and she did. Thank you very much,Terry.” My mother hugged Terry and both of them were crying.

I looked at both my parents and my friend Terry. I hugged everyone and just balled my eyes out too.

It was still too much for me. I couldn’t believe the love I was receiving. But what happened next was really special.

“Terry, I hear that your family doesn’t approve of you and has disowned you too?”

“Yes, Mr. Lester.”

“Well, would you mind us adopting you as Sam’s sister? And please call me Mom. It would be an honor to have a daughter as wonderful and kind as you.” Mom said.

I looked at her and simply said, “We would be real sisters then.” Terry could only nod yes. We all giggled and laughed all the way home.

Finally, after dinner and showing off my new wardrobe and us sisters telling my folks about all our adventures and hearing how much I had grown, how happy I was, and how lucky I was to be an American, I looked at my mom sitting there looking at me with a big smile on her face. I had never seen her so happy. “Really, I don’t understand how you did it, Mom. But ...” My mom held up her hand to stop me from saying another word, winked at me, and said two words that just summed up the whole year with great clarity showing there was nothing more needed to ever be said ...

“Mom knows!”

Copyright © 2017 by AuP reviner