The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3116 by Angharad Copyright© 2017 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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“Seen this?” Diane showed me the screen of her smart phone and according to the story, it suggested that the earth was warming at 170 times the rate it should.

I shrugged, “I do my best to avoid adding to my carbon footprint.”

“By driving around in a Jaguar, sure.” It was perhaps my weak spot, that and my addiction to tuna.

“I’m not driving the Jag today, got the VW.”

“The one with the bigger engine than the Jag?”

“Shush, you’re giving away all my secrets.”

“Some ecologist you are.”

“Quiet, look I’ve taken the hypocritic oath, okay?”

“Like doctors?”

“Hush, don’t want everyone to know, besides we tend to be quite miserly with the heating, we know we need to put it on when Lizzie goes blue.”

“I’ve been to your house and it was quite warm.”

“That’s the coal fired central heating and lounge fire.”

“You’ve got gas, you showed me your new boiler.”

“Okay, so I was fibbing.”

“You missed your calling, didn’t you?”

“Not as far as I’m concerned, why?”

“You should have been in entertainment.”

“I am—you don’t think anyone learns anything here?”

“They do when you teach them, don’t they?”

“What not to come again?”

“What is it about compliments you don’t like?”

“A moment ago you were telling me I should be on the stage.”

“The best entertainers are those who communicate the best.”

“C’mon, eat up, we have work to do since you inveigled me into teaching this morning.”

She finished her sandwich and swallowed down the rest of her water. “If I get indigestion, I’m going to sue.”

“Which Sue is that, Sue Smith, Sue Jones or Sue Ryder?”

“Ha ha,” she said as she followed me back to the office. “How do you walk in those things,” she gave a cursory nod at my shoes.

“With difficulty,” I said strutting one foot in front of the other like cat-walk models used to do.

“Careful, or the men will be in agony,” she commented from behind my rolling bum.

Back at the office, I slipped off my shoes and rubbed my tormented toes—had I known I was teaching today, I’d have worn flat shoes with trousers. I looked at the list of emails I had, one from someone whose name I didn’t recognise.

‘Hi Professor, any chance you could do part two of your lesson tomorrow, today was brill.’ It was signed by twenty-five first-year students. It made my tummy go all funny. I had just received a petition from my students. So surprised was I by it that it was still on screen when Diane brought in the teas.

She glanced at my screen, “You’ve got no meetings tomorrow, shall I reply to it for you?”

“I have loads to do, I don’t need someone else’s work as well.”

“Isn’t getting them degrees the priority?”

“Two lectures from me is hardly likely to get them a degree is it?”

“No, but it shows them what the standard should be, if it falls below that they can complain.”

“That will just put everyone’s back up.”

“Some of these kids are building up huge debts to be here, shouldn’t that be a factor?”

“You sound like I did when I first came here.”

“Before you married into the richest family around here?”

“That is of no consideration.”

“Of course it is, you’ll never have money worries again.”

“I did when I was a student.”

“You paid off your debt?”

“Yes.”

“Some may be retired before they finish theirs.”

“That isn’t my responsibility, the university sets the fees, I have very little say in it.”

“If they get a degree that’s all very well, at least they get something for their money, what about the sad buggers who don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Get their degree.”

“They’ve wasted their time I suppose, but we do try to advise them before it’s too late.”

“But they still have student loans.”

“Diane, I am not going to justify the right of this faculty to give people degrees, it’s enshrined in the charter and neither am I going to do so for failing people who are not up to standard. We give them every opportunity to pass if they work for it. I got people with dyslexia through the course successfully, we even had a blind girl who got a 2:1 and several disabled students have done well.”

“So you do care.”

“Of course I care, I wouldn’t be here otherwise would I? We all care but we can’t do it for them, they have a degree of responsibility as well.”

“There are twenty-five taking that responsibility, right there.”

I blushed.

“What shall I tell them?”

“We don’t know if our favourite lead swinger will be back tomorrow, do we?”

“She’s sent in a sick note for the rest of the week, work-related stress.”

“She doesn’t do any work.”

“Perhaps the boredom gets to her.”

“Go on send your wretched tweet or whatever, but I’m not promising anything after tomorrow. Well, go on then.”

“I already did, more tea?” she said shutting the door behind her just as my shoe struck it. One of these days...

I looked at my notes for the second in my ecology lectures and asked Alex to come and see me. We discussed the matter and she grinned, “It’ll be a lot of work.”

“I know, that’s why I asked you.”

“It’s funny, Prof, you’re the big boss and the only one who asks us to do things rather than just issue orders.”

“I’d rather lead my staff than drive them, it doesn’t always work, but so far it has most of the time.”

“One condition.”

I raised my eyebrows.

“I get to sit in again.”

“Why, you’ve already got a degree?”

“I like to watch skilled craftsmen at work.”

“I hope you think so after tomorrow.”

“Could we film it?”

“That requires too much equipment and time, plus a very skilful camera-man.”

“Pity, if we did, you could use them when people are off.”

“We’d have to film them all.”

“So, but it would pay in the long run.”

“How much ecology have you done?”

“More straight biology, why?”

“You have a master’s don’t you?”

“In coelenterate biology.”

“I want you to start doing some tutorials with first years.”

“I don’t know if I can?”

“I think you can and I want you to try, get Di to organise it, say two sessions per week.”

“I don’t know, prof, this isn’t what I signed up for.”

“Neither did I and look what happened to me.”

“What?”

“I signed up to do a post-grad masters with Tom Agnew and before I know it I have his job plus.”

“Yeah, but you were always marked out to go far.”

“Was I hell?”

“I heard him say about how special you were and that Sussex sent you here knowing he’d nurture you. I just applied for a job because I needed the money, nothing special, just me.”

“Alex, it’s my job to develop people and that includes staff. See Di and I’ll be with you tomorrow.”

“Okay, Prof, look forward to hearing you teach tomorrow.”

“Go on, clear off and send that psycho on the desk in when you’ve sorted those tutorial dates.”