The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3094 by Angharad Copyright© 2017 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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I woke up remembering that I had to read the riot act to Danielle for being drunk and also covered in love bites. Then I had to do so to Julie and Phoebe for letting her get herself into such a state.

Received wisdom has it that we’re harder on girls getting too affectionate with someone than we are with boys, because girls are less able to process alcohol and thus become less inhibited depending upon the amount they drink, after which, they are the ones who become pregnant, often with an, unwanted, baby.

That wasn’t going to happen in Danielle’s case but as a fourteen year old she is too young to have sex legally, especially with an adult, who would be guilty of a criminal offence. Especially with a very pretty young woman like Danielle, who it’s hard to think was until two years ago a boy, or so we thought. She did look bonny last night but then I remembered how she’d looked when she came home—glassy eyed, wobbly legged and covered in lovebites or hickeys as they used to call them.

Realising I was in Sammi’s room I rose and after the loo used the shower, then dried and dressed. No one seemed to be moving, mind you it was only about ten past eight. I dried my hair and put some moisturiser on my face, some Clarin’s stuff Julie gave me as a present for my birthday. I usually use Estee Lauder but Julie had just started selling the Clarin’s so thought I’d like to try it. Most of these things are over priced though they do smell nice. Unfortunately, the perfume is usually what causes so called allergic reactions, but if you want face cream without perfume you buy ‘Simple’ not Clarin’s or Estee Lauder.

Trotting down the stairs, I was busy discussing with myself if wearing expensive face cream constitutes poor professional conduct on the part of an ecologist? The carbon footprint calculator inventors tend to suggest the more disposable income the bigger your carbon footprint because you tend to buy things, more things than poorer people—duh, well that’s pretty obvious. If you are stony broke, you’re not going to buy very much at all, so it’s hardly rocket science is it.

Then again, should I be driving around in a large, luxury car like my Jaguar? Am I a traitor to the cause? Which cause is that? Let me guess, Overturn the Brexit referendum result and or, the Trump election con. No? Okay the only other is climate change aka, Global Warming.

The problem here is that scientists believe that human activity has increased hugely what might have been a minor climate change by depositing carbon gases into the atmosphere, with recent readings of over 400ppm, the highest it has been in thousands of years.

The climate change deniers then try to undermine the science by being very selective on which bits they accept as true, claiming it’s a huge con trick perpetrated by the Chinese is farcical but then having a president elect who is hundreds of millions of dollars in debt to finance companies and banks may also be seen as farcical if it wasn’t for the fact that the guy will hold the keys for the weapons that will cause Armageddon.

Actually that isn’t true, the battle of the plains of Megiddo was fought about three thousand years ago between Egypt and the Judeans, where the Egyptians won. The Egyptians also won one against the Canaanites and Kadesh about eight hundred years before that. The modern stories of Armageddon tend to be an illogical rant from Revelations which is a combination of region-political rant and apocalyptic vision. How it got included in the Bible and other bits were left out says a lot about the politicking that went on in the early church.

Tom was returning with his silly spaniel when I entered the kitchen and I made some tea and switched on his coffee. I sat waiting for him to return from hanging up his coat. He poured himself a coffee and sat opposite me.

“Happy New Year,” we said to each other almost in unison and chuckled.

“What time did they come hame afterwards?” he asked.

“After two, Danielle was legless and covered in hickies.”

He looked at me sadly, “I suppose ye’re gang tae gi’ her a roastin’ when she wakes up?”

“I have a choice?”

“Aye, of course ye dae.”

“Daddy she’s fourteen, she’d too young to get drunk and certainly too young to be seriously indulging in sexual foreplay.”

“Hae ye forgotten ye were young once?”

“No, but I was twenty-three before I had that sort of experience.”

“Och, of course, ye were a late starter...”

“I beg your pardon,” I said angrily and all he did was laugh.

“Alricht, ye’ll hae tae say something but remember hoo you’d hae been in her place.”

“At fourteen I was a leading light in our young ornithologist club.”

“Aye, that widnae surprise me.”

“Which means?” I challenged.

“Ye weren’t interested in sex, though many girls are at that age are but sublimate it into a love of horses or ponies.”

“Not my scene at all,” perhaps if they had been I wouldn’t be so scared of them now—large dumb animals.

“No of course not—you were still trying to be a boy—externally, at least.”

I nodded, it wasn’t the most enjoyable time of my life though I was growing my hair long, which probably exacerbated my situation. I seem to have this ability to make things worse for myself—sort of digging when in a pit syndrome.

The dog decided she wanted to go out again, having just been for a walk this was unusual. He got up and let her out through the back door. She ran up the garden and began barking, heading towards the orchard. The barking continued and as I’d finished my tea and Tom was still drinking his coffee, I grabbed a coat and went up to see what she’d found, apart from anything else, if I didn’t stop her she’d wake the girls and I’d lose my quiet period of the day.

I trotted up the garden and into the orchard up near Spike’s grave and she was standing barking at something her hackles all up and she was ready to almost turn and run.

I looked beyond her and there seemed to be a bundle of rags under one of the apple trees. That puzzled me, where had it come from? It shouldn’t be ours and we had no washing missing. I approached it and saw that it had something underneath it—it looked like a body. Everything was wet, no sodden, so this had been here some time. How come no one had seen it before? I went and poked it, it wasn’t going to wake up, that was for sure. Stepping back, I grabbed the dog’s collar and dragged her back to the house.

“Whit wis it?” asked Tom.

“A body.”

“A body? Ye serious?”

“There is a dead body lying in our orchard, looks like a young man, he’s soaking wet so he’s been there all night, if not longer.”

“Whit’re ye gang tae dae?”

“Call the police, it’s all I can do.”

“Aye, I suppose sae.”