The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3093 by Angharad Copyright© 2017 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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I had been trying to persuade Si to let me have a real Hogmanay party. He said he had too many memories of them from the castle and the damage he must have done his liver at them. He also said that were we to have one, it should be at Stanebury so perhaps I should plan it now for next year.

Having included Stella in my scheming, she was of the opinion that he’d come onside when he could see we had already organised it, except she went down with flu and gave it to him. So instead of planning parties I was dealing with ‘dying’ aristocrats—no one had ever suffered like them—so they kept telling me, well Simon did, he was too weak to even ring a bell to let us know he wanted us. Mind you that may have been something to do with me losing said item after I’d run up the stairs for the twentieth time in as many minutes. He wanted me to turn the telly sound up – he had the bloody remote on the bed with him. After that he couldn’t find the bell, strange coincidence that.

David was almost as busy making bowls of broth for the expiring siblings as he was making regular food for their abused carers. Danielle told her father straight that he was a wuss and she was glad she was a woman because they were ten times tougher. I think he was so startled that she turned on him he said nothing in return. She really is a great help and with Jacquie and her assistance I managed to keep everything going over Christmas and into New Year. She of course along with Julie and Phoebe had been invited out for New Year and I encouraged them to enjoy themselves.

Sammi had stayed up in London, the rotten Ruskies were playing cyber games with the bank again and she was incredibly busy. She came home for Christmas but worked from her bedroom much of the time, Boxing day, Henry came to take her back to London while Simon took to his bed with the lurgy. According to Chambers Dictionary, this is a fictitious disease probably invented by the Goons in one of their radio shows. What no one takes into account is if placebos work by autosuggestion then so can illness.

Anyway, I was sleeping in Sammi’s room because Simon’s coughing and groaning kept me awake. At least he accepted that as a suitable precaution because if I caught his severe illness, there’d be no one to look after him.

New Year’s eve came and the three girls went off in a taxi, with instruction to keep an eye on Danielle, who was so excited and she looked absolutely stunning in a turquoise blue mini-dress with matching shoes and tan stockings. The other two looked delicious as well, Julie in red and Phoebe in a gold, shimmery dress which I suspected showed more than it covered.

I waved them off then went to care for the others. David was off for the night, going to a party with Amanda who used to work for me but had gone to work for a local school instead as their housekeeper. She said it gave her the school holidays off. We seemed to cope without her as the girls became older, we paid them pocket money for different chores, which they seemed to accept without too many grumbles. I suspect their academic grandparent was also subbing them as they did the odd chore for him as well.

The kids were all in bed and asleep until the fireworks started at about a quarter to twelve. Why do people waste their money on such things and do they realise the effect it has on pets, young children and wildlife? If they do, it can’t be a priority because some of the bangs and flashes appeared to come from expensive fireworks, plus all the whooshes from what appeared to rockets which were developed from Saturn V ones judging by the noise they made and the height they attained.

One boom and flash sounded so close it made the house shake just a fraction, and this is a big place—eight bedrooms big—I’ve stayed in smaller hotels; I could only assume it was similar to being under attack from mortars and small arms fire—incoming, I think they call it.

“Bonfire night or Hogmanay would be a real chance to kill someone with a gun without anyone noticing for a couple of days, the bang would be hidden by all the fireworks going off at the same time.”

“Why, who’re ye goin’ tawe shoot?” asked my adopted parent.

“I didn’t mean it literally, rather that if one had a mind to do it, then the fireworks would hide the noise.”

“They’ve stapped thae noo, let’s let thae new year in, drink a toast and gang tae bed.”

“Fine with me,” I produced two glasses of Prosecco and he glowered as he raised his glass.

“It shud be a malt,” he grumbled knowing I wouldn’t drink it if he had poured them.

“No thanks, not for me,” I replied.

“Ye cud at least try it, ye micht get tae enjoy it.”

“I have tried it, it tastes like the stuff they use for embalming bodies.”

“Ye heretic, hoo can ye call yersel’ Scots an’ no like whisky?”

“Quite easily, actually...”

“Och, ye scunner.”

We eventually did invite the new year in and toast absent friends and despite his grumbles he managed a second glass of prosecco, so it can’t have been that bad.

I went to bed at half past twelve, Danielle was supposed to be home by one so I sat doing the Guardian crossword, or should I say attempting it. Either these things are getting harder or I’m growing more stupid. I thought about the classic clue, ‘Bar of soap,’ (3, 6, 6).’

The answer is ‘Rovers Return,’ and yeah it took me a moment to see it. It’s the name of the pub in Coronation Street, a long running soap opera. At about quarter past one I fell asleep, crossword still on my lap and pencil still in my hand. I awoke at half past two hearing noises downstairs.

It had to be the girls and when I investigated it was, boy was I angry, Danielle was tight as a tick and covered in love bites. I bawled them out and then dragged Danni up to her room and undressed her—she even had bites on her breasts—but I kept my temper, put her into a nightdress and leaving a bucket by the bed tucked her in and switched off the light. She seemed asleep in moments.

Going down to make myself a cuppa—I was wide awake anyhow—I saw the other two had cleared off while the going was good. Oh well, I’d deal with them in the morning. I drank my tea and went off to bed unsuspecting it wasn’t the only thing I’d have to deal with when I got up.