The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3041 by Angharad Copyright© 2016 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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We went in my car to Tom’s usual spot for lunch and although I hadn’t been there for months they remembered me. “Professor Agnew, Lady Cameron,” nodded the manager.

“Thae usual, please, for both of us,” replied Tom and we were led to his usual table.

“Of course,” nodded the manager and minutes later reappeared with a pint of Guinness for Tom and a cranberry juice for me. It wasn’t what I had in mind to drink, but it would do.

“A wee birdie tells me ye’ve been tae see yer new office suite.”

“So why are you asking me if you know?”

“Jest consolidatin’ ma data base.”

I’m not sure if he’d recognise one of those if it bit him on his sporran. The only one I’ve seen he used was a card index, which is fine, it works but can be slow and cumbersome to use compared to electronic forms. Sammy is the whizz with such things and Simon and Trish are also quite good, and I can use them and do regularly for the dormice and the other mammal survey material.

“Does your data base also recognise that in order to move there some money will need to be expended for furniture, carpets and computers?”

“It expected to have some capital outlay.”

“So fifty thousand is okay, then?”

“Whit?” he nearly had a stroke, “Whit sort o’ carpet ye planning on?”

“A reasonable hard wearing variety.”

“That’ll no cost fifty thoosand poonds?”

“We need some furniture as well.”

“Aye a desk and chair each.”

“I’ll send you the list but remember my office will also be the boardroom of the science department, so I’ll need a table and chairs that will seat twelve or fifteen. I’ll also need a settee and coffee table plus an easy chair or two. Computers, we’ll need five—three laptops and two desktops...”

“Jest pit in a list and costs, I ken I shud hae appointed someone else.”

“Ah, but a verbal offer is a binding contract...” I gave him back his statement of earlier when I suggested I hadn’t signed anything.

“Och, I’ll jest gi ye thae whole budget, shall I?”

“No, but if we’re going to do this, let’s do it properly or not at all.”

I got my funding for a reasonable office furnishing, accepting that perhaps a Louis XIV table and chairs was perhaps a trifle ambitious, as were the Chinese sculpted rugs—though I did point out that they were cheaper than a nuclear power station. He told me to suggest that to our new PM, Theresa May. I told him that talking to politicians was a waste of time as they only hear what you say that supports their policies. Thankfully I’m not involved in badger studies the way they’re killing them in Dorset and Somerset and Gloucestershire. I hear things on the grape vine and it seems quite possible that badgers outside the cull area are also being shot. This shows how some farmers seem to think they are a law unto themselves, yet the badger is a protected species, so shooting them without the required licence is illegal, not that that will stop them. It’s very sad that some people are such creeps.

Diane dealt with organising the order for our office stuff and I set about encouraging the estates department to splash some paint around to brighten things up. Can you believe the decorators are fully booked until 2019. No neither could I, so I suggested I’d bring in an external contactor to do the work for me and they could pay for it.

For some reason they didn’t like that idea so I told them they had one week to sort out some sort of date or I’d withdraw the support of my department from their care. Their little man, who seemed full of confidence at the beginning, became less so when he realised the size of my new fiefdom, about a quarter of the university. He told me they’d bring in contractors if necessary and would get the place tidied up before Christmas recess. I told him, six weeks or I start withdrawing from his department, which would mean a loss of a quarter of his budget and a subsequent downsizing. He told me he’d see what he could do. See, people can be reasonable when you tweak their short and curly parts.

The weekend was fast approaching again and I had an email from a friend showing some barely recognisable photos of an osprey staying at Arne, which is near Poole harbour, so not too far away.

On arriving home on the Friday evening, I asked if anyone was interested in a trip to Poole to see the osprey. Knowing my luck, it would have disappeared the day before but a day out doing something nice would be like therapy for me, and day at the lovely bird reserve at Arne would be lovely as the weather forecast looked reasonable if a tad windy. Trish and Danni were up for it and Hannah agreed she’d come too. We didn’t invite the little ones because it looked like it could involve quite a bit of walking. Simon decided he’d come as well and in the end he drove my car with the three girls in the back. It makes me smile that it’s actually my car but unless it’s a short trip to the station or similar, he expects to drive—unless he’s had a drink. It irks me a little because it’s so old fashioned and sexist at the same time I can relax and let him take the strain.

They now have a shop and restaurant at the reserve, so lunch shouldn’t be a problem as we all enjoy a jacket spud. I did however pack some bottles of water and some chocolate bars as emergency supplies.

Stella and Jacquie were on babysitting duty along with Amanda and David if they ventured into ‘his’ kitchen. I left them things to do and some sweeties as bribes, the children were left sweets as well.

We arrived at Poole at about nine and were at Arne about twenty minutes later where we had to display my RSPB membership card, which says Professor C Watts. I hope no one notices these things, it’s my day off, so I don’t want to be asked anything technical—though I don’t think they have any dormice here, or if they do it’s not public. Water voles are a feature, but mainly it’s birds and Sika deer—sika is the Japanese for deer so I’m told, it’s thus all a bit, deer deer. But they are very attractive animals with their spotted young and white bums.

After parking we all trekked to the loos and then kitted up. I had the Swarovski binns and telescope, Simon had my other ones and the girls had their own or borrowed them from siblings. I also have an adaptor to fit to the telescope which means I can use my phone as a camera and the telescope as a telephoto lens. All we needed now was the osprey—yeah, right.

Have you noticed how these superstar animals and birds rarely live up to their status. You spend all day hanging around for them and they don’t show, or it’s too dark to see them and so on. Well we did see some Dartford warblers, or I did and I suspect Trish and Danni may have seen too. Simon was too busy getting the lens cover off the telescope to see anything and Hannah was looking the wrong way.

We wandered across Coombe heath, which is where the osprey post is. This is a tall post of wood with a platform and a further post on top of that with a perch. We saw a buzzard but no osprey. A quick trip to the hide which overlooks an inlet allowed us views of curlew and some black tailed godwits. Simon did manage to get his telescope working by this time and Trish was trying to use the adaptor to take photos through mine with her iPhone.

Still no sign of the osprey, although we did see a few other things and I was happy to see the day as a family outing. At about one pm we abandoned our search for exotic raptors in favour of a pit stop at the new cafe and for the next half an hour we chomped our way through cheese jacket potatoes and salad. We sat outdoors and watched the birds coming to the feeders which included a great spotted woodpecker and a nuthatch, as well as blue and great tits and chaffinches. A cuppa and I was ready to try again for our fish-bashing raptor. The others wanted to try somewhere else on the reserve, so Danni and I alone went off to try the ‘Raptor Trail’ a route I’d never done before.

It led to the area north of the path we’d walked earlier and culminated in a smallish hide, inside which were several older people, but they pointed to some dead trees and the osprey perched in one of them tearing at a fish it had caught.

Despite it being poorly lit, the sun was almost behind it, we managed to see enough to know it was an osprey, the black band across its eye and the white head and throat and underparts showed that. For the next half an hour we watched as the bird feasted on some fish, probably a mullet, it had caught then it finally dropped it; preened and flew off and above us.

We caught up with Simon at the cafe at three o’clock and permitted him to buy us each an ice cream. None of them seemed that worried that only Danni and I had seen the osprey and when we got back to the car, the three of them nodded off to sleep on the way home which much amused Simon.