The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 2907 by Angharad Copyright© 2016 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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“Better now?” asked Stephanie handing me a glass of water.

“No, I feel totally...I don’t know how I feel.”

“Upset probably covers it.”

“But she went out so calmly?” I said feeling more than a little confused.

“It wasn’t news for her and you made her feel safe.”

“How do I deal with it?”

“When she needs to tell you about it, she will. Don’t go probing, she’s coped with it all this time so anything else may disturb that equilibrium.”

“How can she stay so calm?”

“Because she’s surrounded by people who love and protect her.”

“Is that it, then?”

“I don’t know, Cathy. For the moment it is. Possibly she doesn’t quite understand what happened to her.”

“What about when she’s older?”

“And realises fully the implications? I don’t know. I’m a doctor, Cathy, not a fortune teller. She may have problems she may not.”

“I mean has she been physically damaged, do I need her to see someone to check her out?”

“From what she was saying I suspect she wasn’t penetrated, rather that she was made to watch whatever those perverts were doing.”

“I feel like finding out who they were and eliminating them from humanity.”

“And who are you to judge people?”

“I’m her legal guardian and foster parent, a very pissed off one.”

“Cathy, I share your distaste for these people and I see a great deal more of it than you. She’s stable for the moment so leave well alone. She’s a very self contained young woman and I believe she will talk to you if she needs to. Also if you go all gung-ho after these clients of her mother, what effect will that have on her—dealing with the police either because they want to charge them as paedophiles or because you’re under investigation for killing or hurting them directly or indirectly. How will she feel then?”

“Okay, I won’t start anything, but if in the future she has problems I might reconsider this matter.”

“Cathy, you’ve as good as told me you were involved in the accident this morning, please don’t get involved in anything further with this business. She needs you to be there for her not awaiting trial.”

“All right, I heard you.”

“Promise me you won’t do anything.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Not good enough.”

“Tough.”

“Cathy, you want to adopt this child?”

“She desperately wants me to and yes I’d like her to have the same status as all the other children, not that I treat her any differently. So yes, I would like to adopt her.”

“Right, well if you promise me not to get involved in this business of her abuse except in protecting and supporting her as her adoptive mother, so no more vigilante stuff and I’ll be happy to act as a medical/psychiatric referee for you.”

“And if I don’t.”

“You’ll have to find another psychiatrist. I can’t put her at risk, she’s too vulnerable.”

“I thought you said she was stable.”

“She is but if you stir things up or get arrested for being involved with vendettas I can’t guarantee what will happen.”

“Okay, for Hannah’s sake, I give you my word.”

We shook hands. “You’ve a kiddie shrink as long as you need one.”

Dinner was delicious, the meat tasted wonderful and simply fell apart in my mouth, it was so tender. I tried not to think that it was the flesh of some poor sheep who had the misfortune to be born male and was therefore sentenced to a short life. At least humans who have the misfortune to be born male can do something about it—assuming they want to. There is nothing wrong with being born...you know what I mean.

Stephanie stayed for about an hour after dinner and then went home with her fast growing toddler. Mind you, our little Lizzie isn’t little any longer and we have to be so careful she doesn’t get out on the road.

I’d forgotten the girls were officially on holiday, they have longer holidays than the state schools which used to irk Danny but funnily no longer does, can’t think why. I was dealing with some sewing in my study—repairing some opaque tights for Danielle when she phoned to say they’d be at the stadium in twenty minutes or so. In other words, come and get me. I asked if anyone wanted to come and collect her and only Hannah was seemingly interested.

“Enjoy your lunch, kiddo?” I asked trying to keep things light.

“Yes thank you.” She paused then asked, “Mummy, you didn’t kill my mother, did you?”

How I didn’t drive into the back of the car in front, I’ll never know but somehow I didn’t.”

“No, I told you she was getting into her car and another car hit her.”

“But you were there?”

“Yes I saw it and it was dreadful.”

“You couldn’t heal her up again?”

“She was very badly injured and died pretty well instantly.”

“Did you want her to die?”

“No of course not. I felt we’d win the case anyway and I’d be able to adopt you providing it was what you really wanted.”

“Oh it is, all right; I just wondered if you’d had her killed to make it easier.”

“I’m sorry, Hannah, but it’s not something I would do even if I felt we might lose.”

“Oh I would. She deserved all she got—I absolutely loath and detest her.”

“Well you won’t have to, will you?”

“No, but I’m glad she’s dead.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way, Hannah, she was your mother, even she wasn’t a very good one.”

“She was fucking useless, you’re much better.”

“Please don’t swear, Hannah, it isn’t very nice in young ladies.”

“Well she made so cross, she was such a rubbish mother.”

“I think she had some difficulties in that area, perhaps a lack of role models and instruction in being a parent. There are quite a few people in that category these days, who through no fault of their own, have never been shown how to look after children.”

“She couldn’t look after herself, let alone me and she wasn’t that interested. She didn’t mean to get pregnant and blamed me for it. She didn’t want me and kept telling me so, all she wanted was to do her own things but she didn’t want anyone else to have me.”

“And then I came along and spoilt her plans.”

“She hated you because you were the sort who if you wanted could take me off her permanently. I wanted it too but she didn’t, she thought she owned me but you beat her, now I belong to you and Daddy.”

I pulled into the stadium car park and the coach hadn’t arrived. “Hannah, You don’t belong to anyone, we’re a family of people not possessions. You belong with us not to us and we all love you. I’m sorry that you had a bad time with Ingrid but we need to put that behind us now and look to the future.”

“Can I change my name to Cameron?”

“Assuming you still want to be adopted, yes we can do it soon afterwards.”

“Oh good, an’ even if you did kill her, I don’t care—good riddance to bad rubbish—you’re my mummy now.”

“Please believe me, I did not kill her or ask anyone else to do so. It was a tragic accident.”

“Here’s Danni’s bus, wonder if she scored any goals?” said my newest daughter but some of her ideas concerned me, especially the one that she thought I killed her mother to adopt her. Is that what she really thinks of me—ruthless to the point of stupidity? A bit worrying to say the least, more conversations with Stephanie, I think.