The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 2817 by Angharad Copyright© 2015 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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I wasn’t sick, except as a parrot. I’m never quite sure what that’s supposed to mean unless it’s because some parrots are green, goodness knows.

In the UK it often means sick in a metaphorical sense rather than bringing up breakfast and it was this I was referring to. I mean, I get to meet my hero—oh I did get his autograph—and I’m so overcome with the situation that I act like a tongue tied six year old. I’m sure he spoke to me several times but all I did was blush and giggle—what a twit. Whatever happened to the articulate wildlife film maker and presenter, goodness knows.

Tom will give me hell about it for weeks, I just hope I didn’t blow it for everyone else. I was sitting thinking about this when he came over. “Jest came tae see if ye’d recovered?”

“Recovered—oh from this morning—that was a rotten trick to pull on me. Why didn’t you tell me he was coming?”

“If I haed ye’d only hae worrit yersel’ a’ mornin’, instead ye gave a reasonable accoont o’ yersel’. Sir David enjoyed it or sae he said.”

“I just didn’t know what to say to him, I must have looked a total fool.”

“No, he ken’t ye were overcome with nerves at meeting him, sae ye sat quietly and let him dae thae talking. It wis most interesting tae.”

I shrugged, “I hope I didn’t let the side down.”

“Dinna be silly, he seemed tae think a lot o’ ye an’ yer furry vermin. I think he wants the BBC to commission some more films frae ye.”

“What?” I gasped, “He wants me to do more?”

“Aye, leastways that wis thae impression I got.”

Perhaps I wasn’t as silly as I thought? Yeah sure, and Mickey Mouse is the largest rodent in California. I glanced at the clock and told him I had to collect the girls. He asked me to give a disc to Trish.

“What is it?”

“Jest something she asked me tae copy.”

“Okay,” I took it from him and shoved it in my bag. I wondered what he’d been ‘borrowing’ from the university library for her this time. He didn’t say and I didn’t ask. I pecked him on the cheek and remembered I had to go to the salon to have my hair done, so asked him if he could get the girls. He complained but went off to do it, it gave him a chance to finish early and have a little snooze before he changed for the dinner.

I gave instructions to Diane for the remainder of the day and the next, I expected to be in late the next day not from overindulgence but simply because I was going to be out later than I usually am. I know it sounds as if I’m ninety not merely eighty nine.

Arriving at the salon, Phoebe and Julie made a huge fuss of me and then asked how my talk had gone. When I told them they were almost hysterical laughing. However they managed to wash my hair and then Julie set to and trimmed it up, then started playing with various highlights. I asked her not to go overboard or I’d cancel her Christmas.

“Oh that, yeah I meant to say, Phoebe an’ me are goin’ to Switzerland for Chrimble.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, we’re going with a gang, in we, Phoebes, leave at lunch time on Christmas eve.”

I was flabbergasted to say the least.

“You’ll be cutting things a bit fine won’t you?”

“Nah, we’ve got an airport taxi to take us an’ collect us on New Year’s day.”

“So you’re going for a whole week?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing, but promise me you’ll look after each other.”

“Course we will, won’t we Pheebs?”

“Because I won’t have time to come and rescue you.”

“You won’t need to, we’re gonna learn to ski.”

I’ve never skied myself, no balance on fast moving objects except possibly bikes, and that isn’t very often these days, don’t seem to have much time for anything. We continued chatting and Phoebe came to sort out my nails. I left there at four thirty with dark blonde hair with auburn and ash blonde highlights. My hair was up and Julie gave me a pale red lipstick which goes with the dress and my rose coloured nails, which were longer than usual. My toenails had also been done so would look tidy if anyone saw my feet—I was told to wear sandals. I made no promises.

At home the girls were noticeable by their absence as was Daddy as he was up showering. Simon arrived just after me and was busy chattering on his phone as he came in, so ignored me. I spoke with Amanda and David, she was staying on this evening while we were out. David and she were going to watch a DVD in the lounge. I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad news.

Daddy came down cussing as he was tying his bow tie then saw me blushed and said, “Melvin Burrows has gang sick could ye dae thae response tae thae Vice Chancellor?”

“What, tonight?”

“Aye.”

“But I haven’t even had a chance to think about it.”

“Och ye’re a natural, just speak f’ ten minutes, pretend ye’ve got a dormoose in yer hand.”

“When did you find out about this?”

He blushed, “Aye weel I’d better see aboot ma tie,” and dashed off to his study. I know he was chairing the event otherwise he might have done it, but bugger, I was planning on relaxing after I got nearly ready. I arranged to borrow Stella’s long evening coat. Simon had shown no interest in my dress so he could wait until we got to the city hall, the venue of this evening’s festivities. I sat down with a cuppa and tried to find some funnies—I’d probably include the one about the photon travelling light and the book I’m reading on antigravity, just can’t put it down.

I also needed some sort of educational political message—hmm. I had one but I wondered how well it would be received, especially if I complain about the raising of fees and universities not being places of learning anymore but income generators. I thought of one by Max Planck who was as contradictory in his quotations as his field of discovery was seen to become—Quantum Mechanics. In some quotes he talks about faith and god and the next minute he’s declaring he doesn’t believe in personal gods or the one of Christianity.

Simon came downstairs and I sneaked up to the bathroom and showered with my cap on, then after drying myself did my makeup and slipped into my lingerie. At six thirty I pulled on my dress and immediately covered it with my coat. At seven we left taking Tom with us in my car, Simon drove. I had a few scraps of paper with notes on them, I hoped I could throw together some coherent answer to the Vice Chancellor which made the captive audience laugh and accept as they laugh a more serious message. Our existence as educational institutions may well depend on it.