The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 2764 by Angharad Copyright© 2015 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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The meal we had was delicious, a paella with all sorts of goodies like prawns and mussels as well as pieces of meat. David doesn’t do them very often because he has to cook and serve them, usually, I do the dishing up of food. Apparently, Danielle had mentioned to him that he hadn’t made one for ages and he succumbed to the request. However, he wasn’t so impressed that we were late. I thanked him for hanging on and invited him to eat with us. He declined, he usually does but asked if he could see me about something when I had time. He apparently wasn’t doing anything later, so I told him to call back in an hour and I’d speak with him.

He arrived about seven and we went to my study. I offered him a cup of tea but he joked that he’d been drinking it all day, so it would hardly be a treat. I wondered why he’d come and I suspected so did he.

Finally we got to the point of his request. “Look, Cathy, I have a friend who needs some help.”

“What sort of help?”

“Work, he’s been unemployed for a year.”

“I don’t have any magic potions, nor do I need any more staff, either here or at the university.”

“I wondered if you knew anyone who needed someone.”

“Not offhand, tell me a bit about him and I’ll ask around. Does he have any special skills or training?”

“Okay, I’ll get the shock horror bit over first. He’s like me, a transman.”

“David, the only one who thinks of you as that in this household, is you. The rest of us see you as just a guy who performs miracles with food.” He blushed and I smiled.

“Yeah, well Monty is...”

“Monty?”

“Yeah, it’s his name all right?”

“Okay, okay, tell me about Monty,” I managed to keep my face straight. I mean we changelings tend to call ourselves who we feel we are. Mind you there are plenty of strange names in all areas of life these days. I’ll stick with my conventional one and matching lifestyle.

“More shock horror, he’s been inside.”

“Inside—where?”

“Prison, stir, nick—don’t you aristocrats know anything?”

“I’d have thought you’d have said porridge being a cook of sorts.”

“Touché.” He shook his head and I grinned smugly at him.

“What was he in for?”

“Receiving, I think he said.”

“How equipped is he to do physical work?”

“He’s twenty nine, so should be okay.”

“And how far along the path is he?”

“Dunno if he’s had a willie-plasty...” I burst out laughing at this. “Okay, a phalloplasty, but he’s had his breasts and breeding bits removed.”

“I wondered if Maureen had need of some further assistance.”

“That would be brilliant.”

“I’m not promising anything but I’ll speak to her, I shall tell her about the criminal record and at most engineer an interview, the rest will be out of my hands and entirely up to Maureen if she has any vacancies.”

“You’re a star, Cathy.”

“Yeah, so how about making this star a cuppa, I’ve got work to do—”I pointed at the computer.

“Coming up, boss,” he said and almost trotted out of the room.

Picking up the phone I called Maureen and explained the situation. “If I have anything, it could be short term but it gets him a couple of pay packets. Tell him to call me, anything else, ma’am?”

“I think the fence could do with a coat of preservative.”

“It’s only two years old, ma’am.”

“I’d like it to last a few more.”

“You’re the boss, ma’am—might send our newest recruit round if he’s up to scratch.”

“Please don’t mention my part in this, and send me a proper bill this time—I can afford it you know?”

“I know, ma’am, but you put me on my feet when I was in a very dark place an’ you saved my life—I don’t forgets them who helped me.”

“For goodness sake, Maureen, that’s all a long time ago and no one is keeping a record of it.”

“I am, ma’am, an’ nothin’ you say will stop me rememberin’ your kindness.” I almost blushed.

David appeared with my cuppa, “Tell your friend to call this number, the work will be physical, so I hope he’s fit—oh and I’d prefer it if my name wasn’t mentioned.”

“But if he gets the job, it’ll be due to your string pulling.”

“No; it will be due to him impressing Maureen that she needs to employ him. If he doesn’t, he won’t get a job.”

“I’ll tell him, but he knows I was going to ask you.”

“Well you can take the credit instead, you know Maureen, tell him you asked her yourself.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I am, now clear off I’m busy.”

“Aye aye, cap’n.”

“Any more of that and you’ll be walking the plank.” I heard a loud laugh coming from the direction in which he’d left. So nobody takes me seriously, unless of course they want something.

I did an hour on the survey while the girls amused themselves. A while after that I got a text from Danni to say they were nearly at the stadium could I collect her. I didn’t have much choice. I told the girls to get themselves ready for bed and went off to collect their sister. The drive to Fratton was uneventful though it felt strange having to use headlights again. I can’t say I enjoy driving in the dark even with the powerful headlights the Jaguar has. On the return leg with Danielle telling me she’d scored another goal, we stopped to move a hedgehog from the centre of the carriageway. I keep a pair of thick gloves in the boot of the car for such an eventuality and was in the process of relocating this spiny slug basher when some ignorant oik in an old Toyota shouted at me.

“What’s your problem?” I shouted back at him still carrying Spiny Norman from the road to the park alongside it.

“Stupid bitch, you’re blocking the road.”

“I’m not, there’s plenty of room.”

“What the hell have you got there?”

“A hedgehog.”

“Bloody vermin, spiny rats, that’s all they are.”

“Not even closely related, rats are rodents these are Erinacidae, a family in the order Insectivora.”

“Think you’re bleedin’ clever doncha, well obstructing the highway ain’t clever is it, you dozy cow.”

“Actually, it’s you who are obstructing the carriageway showing me what a complete wanker you are.” Then as if to agree with me someone behind him tooted their horn at him.

“Wanker am I?” he pulled off the road a few yards ahead of me. I’d just released the hedgehog which had curled into a ball. Mr Loudmouth stormed up towards me. “Wanker am I, you stuck up bitch, here’s what I think of your bleeding rat.” He raised his foot as if to stamp on the hedgehog and I shouted, “NO.” With that there was a blue flash and a moment later he was scrambling back to his feet looking very pale and took to running back to his car.

“You all right, Mummy?” asked Danni rushing from the car.

“I’m fine, though I’m not sure what happened then, I thought I was going to have to physically stop him hurting our little friend.” I glanced at Danielle who had a smirk on her face. “Okay, tell me what happened?”

She shrugged, “You were giving off the blue light and I sort of tuned into it and asked it to protect you and the hedgehog. It must of agreed ’cos the next moment he was flying through the ’edge—an’ didn’t he look surprised.”

“Is that actually what happened?”

“Yeah, course,” she said smirking.

“Well don’t do it again.”

She continued to wear a silly grin all the way home.