The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 2711 by Angharad Copyright© 2015 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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I needn’t have worried, Simon fell asleep on the sofa and despite trying to rouse him, he remained in a somnolent state. In the end I had to tuck a blanket round him and leave him. Doubtless he’d come up to bed when he woke. I checked on everyone, well the younger ones. Julie went to the bathroom as I was walking along the landing. “Hi, Mummy,” she yawned and I smiled back before slipping into my bedroom.

“While I undressed I recalled how Julie had arrived here and the dreadful clothes she’d worn. I suppose because of my repressed childhood and adolescence, I’d never played the tart or even the femme fatale as a teenager. Was that why I objected to her dress that day? Or was it just my middle class background coming out? I’d never know because we can, none of us, revisit the past. Given some of my experiences, that might not be a bad thing.

Astonishingly, despite some early ups and downs and her father trying to kill her, she’s turned out to be a credit to everyone, but especially to herself. She and Phoebe run their own business and I admit we have helped them along the way, but not that much because we know Julie prefers to make her own way in the world and is quite independent. Phoebe prefers to be guided by advice from those with more experience as well as listening to her own thoughts. Perhaps because they’re so different, their business works quite well as they complement each other. They consider each other as sisters and I know they will always look after each other.

It’s funny that when Stella and I decided we’d become sisters whatever happened with Simon—this was long before we were married—my children have seemingly bonded as siblings despite age differences and the order in which they appeared on the scene and got absorbed by my family. We must be one of the most adaptable family units in the country.

It also seems strange that when Julie came to live with us, Danny, who was very much in boy mode back then, was like a puppy following her around and Billy wasn’t much better. Danny had one or two girlfriends, including Pia’s younger sister, Carly but since joining my side of the fence, she, Danielle, that is, seems to have been mostly attracted to boys. Why that should be, I have no idea, unless our sexual orientation is affected by hormones—in which case shouldn’t all MtoF individuals be attracted to men? We know they’re not, so obviously it isn’t that simple.

Getting into bed, my eyes alighted on my own red handbag and I thought of Trish and the way her whole face lit up when she saw what her present was. What girl could fail to love having red shoes and a bag to match? Very few, I’m sure.

Hannah is our latest recruit and I’m quite surprised her mother hasn’t tried methods of repossession or interference, but so far she hasn’t. That doesn’t mean she won’t or that she will. We’ll just have to wait and see. Part of me expected her to try and blackmail me into paying her something, let’s face it there’s loads of scope available, but I agreed with the belief that you don’t pay anyone who tries to blackmail you, because once you start, you’ll always be in their clutches.

Back to Danielle, she seems to be a much more confident girl than ever he was as a boy and this from someone who was determined to prove he was all boy when he discovered who Trish was the first weekend he was with us. Thankfully that aspect didn’t last long, or we might have had more casualties than we have seemingly got away with.

I suppose we’ve been lucky with all but one of the children or young adults who have found their way to our door. The unlucky one was Billie who having decided she wanted to be a girl as well as the others did, she had an aneurysm burst in her brain while she was out cycling with me. I shall never forget that day or the child I lost.

I felt myself sniffing and tried to change what I was thinking about. I wondered about all the times I thought I saw Billie since she died, that was all it could have been, wishful thinking because once you’re dead, that’s it, lights out. It possibly gave me some comfort while it lasted and Trish humours me sometimes by saying she’s seen Billie who says she’s okay. How can you be okay if you’re dead. Isn’t being dead the exact opposite of being okay?

I lay down and switched off the light and closed my eyes. They felt sore, though I hadn’t actually cried, just had the odd tear form and have it run down my nose, hence the sniffing earlier.

I slipped into an uneasy sleep where I visited several of my earlier unhappy times, where schoolboys beat me up when I was unable to run away, and my child died as I stood there unable to save her. I awoke at two o’clock and was alone. Simon had obviously fallen off to sleep and was there for the night. I was half tempted to go and get him in case I had any further nasty dreams. I went for a wee and decided that as they were only dreams, I was quite safe and tried to sleep again.

I was just about to let go and drift back to sleep when I heard a noise. It could have been the cat or one of the children. I listened and there it was again. I got out of bed and went out onto the landing. It happened again and it was coming from the girl’s bedroom. I walked quietly there and by the light from one of these safety lights saw it was Hannah who seemed to be having a nasty dream.

I sat on the edge of the bed and stroked her face and told her quietly that I was there and that she was perfectly safe and should sleep more securely now. I also told her she’d been dreaming and that’s all it was, a dream. She sighed and seemed to relax and sleep more easily. I sat with her for a few moments then went back to my own bed.

When I got back to my bed Simon was now fast asleep in it. I glanced at the clock, it was half past two. I was astonished I didn’t hear him come up the stairs, but I was glad he had come up to bed. I snuggled into him and in no time was asleep.