Born Twice
By Alyssa Plant

Chapter 11

It was a quarter to ten the next day as Rebecca made her way out of the Hall of Residence and headed for the main road. It felt oddly relaxing that she was here finally going to be herself.

She wondered if Sarah had been kidding about her classmates all thinking her a girl already.

Nervously, she tugged at the hem of her skirt, suddenly alarmingly aware of the brevity of it, and the reality of her situation.

This wasn’t a party, it wasn’t a bet, or even the trip to the mall. This was reality. This had consequences and reactions; she would be accountable for once.

At the back of the fear however, she felt a warm feeling. She felt complete, herself finally. It seemed so clichéd she thought, giggling to herself.

She had dressed to blend in today; wearing what was unofficially a girls’ uniform for their university. Her denim miniskirt with leggings; providing much needed warmth in the morning chill, topped off with a grey university sweatshirt. Simple, yet invisible. She had spent forever wondering what to wear to not look like a transsexual, that her clothing could out her by making an error.

There was a niggling feeling in the back of her mind that told her someone would know; someone couldn’t be fooled by her attempts. After all, she was a boy wasn’t she? Physically at least she knew she was male, granted not a very good example of it. But surely a male body couldn’t look like a girl?

Conflict wracked her brain as she considered weather she was allowed to enjoy being a girl, being herself?

A happy voice snapped her out of her thought as Sarah bounded up behind her.

“Morning! Wow you’re looking much better this morning!” she beamed.

Rebecca smiled as they set off walking side by side.

“Thanks, I’m still fairly scared though.” She whispered.

“Oh don’t be love” Sarah admonished. “I swear, if I didn’t know, I couldn’t tell, and if anyone would tell you I would, now stop being scared you silly goose”

Rebecca shrugged her shoulders and grinned sheepishly.

”Well I guess it’s still taking getting used to.”

“So you’re sticking with Charlie?” Sarah asked, lowering her voice.

“Hrm, no,” Rebecca decided. “My name’s Rebecca” She smiled, remembering where the name came from.

“Coolness” Beamed Sarah. “Well most people don’t know your name; just say Charlotte was your middle name.”

Arriving outside the department, Rebecca froze with fear in front of the door.

Sarah caught her and led her over to a bench near the entrance.

“I know this is scary honey, ok? But believe me, it’s a none-issue to them. You’re just confirming what they already believe.” She whispered hugging Rebecca tightly.

“I, I don’t know, it just seems so big, I can’t go back after this, not that I want to.” She quickly stated,

”It will just be real, and I’m scared of change, its all been so fast. But I’m so excited, and want this. Its so confusing.” She sighed.

The two girls hugged till Sarah reminded them they had a class, and shaking, she led Rebecca into the building and down to their Lecture hall.

Walking into the room, Rebecca felt like she was going to be sick, but very few people actually looked at her.

Sarah pulled her onto a row of seats and up to a group of girls chatting away merrily.

“Hey guys, this is Becca.” She announced collapsing down onto a seat.

Mutterings of greeting were exchanged and before long, Rebecca was surrounded by other girls from her class, none of whom seemed to notice anything out of order.

By the End of the first class, Rebecca had almost forgotten her past. Nobody cared, or noticed. And that normality finally grounded her. This was what she was missing?

People smiled at her, talked to her, and treated her like a human being.

The world seemed to blur around Rebecca as she realised that she was happy. That she hadn’t been before. It was a shock to her system.

“Come on dozy”

Rebecca snapped out of her trance.

“Come on” Sarah giggled, “Were going for coffee before the next class, better than hanging around here”

Rebecca shrugged and followed Sarah and her friends.

As they walked, Rebecca heard running behind them and felt a hand on her shoulder before she could turn.

“Heya” Panted Paul.

”I saw you walking and hoped you didn’t have a class next?” He smiled at Rebecca.

Sarah and her friends automatically pulled back giving the two some space.

“Not really, I was just heading to the union for coffee with my friends, you want to come?” she asked, then looked back at Sarah;
“Its ok if Paul comes isn’t it?” she questioned.

“Sure, more the merrier! We couldn’t have you sulking alone” she laughed.

Rebecca beamed and felt her tummy doing flip flops. She liked being around Paul, he was so sweet and kind and utterly gorgeous. She felt lucky to be his girlfriend.

After brief introductions, the group headed off to the union building to waste away the hours before their next class.

Once they had collected their drinks, the gang found a small seating area, and Rebecca joined Paul on one of the sofas; curling up next to him with his arm around her.

She felt so safe, so, happy. Sipping her Cappuccino, she glanced across at Sarah who was grinning at her shaking her head.

Rebecca raised her eyebrows and smiled. It felt good to have friends.

Somehow she knew the days of whiling away the time between classes in a computer room somewhere, or wandering the campus with her mp3 player were melting away.

She didn’t feel inclined to stop them either.

“Rebecca”

Becca snapped out of yet another trance hearing her name. It was Jenny, one of Sarah’s friends.

“So why the big change?”

Rebecca’s blood ran cold, did she know?

“Um, I don’t know what you mean” She stuttered, looking to Sarah for help, who just grinned and sipped her drink.

She would get her later.

“Well one day you’re dressing like a boy, and being all antisocial, and now you’ve become all girly overnight, what’s the deal?”

Rebecca felt a wave of relief wash over her, this she could handle.

“I don’t know what I was thinking quite honestly. I was really shy and was s unsure of myself.

I guess you can say my meeting Paul changed my outlook on things…” she grinned.

Jenny smiled. “Well it’s sure an improvement, plus it’s destroyed the rumours that you were gay or something.” She giggled.

“I can confirm she is NOT gay” Paul grinned dodging a playful slap from Rebecca

“Did many people think that?” asked Rebecca

“Jenny nodded. “That or you were a girl who wanted to be a boy”

Rebecca grinned inwardly at that one.

“We all make mistakes,” she mused out loud, “I’m just glad I found myself as it were.”

“Are you two coming to the end of year ball?” Amy asked.

“Are we?” Paul asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Hmm, I think so, I hadn’t planed to, to be honest, but I think we might, if you want to?” Rebecca replied.

“God their acting like a married couple already” Sarah groaned.

“Are you going to start answering for each other next?” she laughed as she ducked the newspaper Rebecca launched at her.

“Oh crap, look at the time” Amy announced. “We have hst242 in 10 minutes”

“Ugh I hate Tomkins; he drones on and on and never puts his lectures online.” Jenny grumbled.

The group extracted themselves from the coffee shop and began to walk over to the lecture theatre.

Paul deliberately slowed Rebecca down as they were walking and quietly asked her about the ball.

“You sure you’re ok with going? We don’t have to if it’s too much for you.”

“No, id love to go, its something I always dreamed of.” She replied.

“I definitely think it would be fun. Plus you’d look cute in a tux” she giggled.

“Well having you on my arm won’t hurt my reputation” Paul grinned.

“Oh, is that all I am to you? Eye candy?” she said trying to look hurt.

It didn’t work, but it did win her a rather public and very passionate kiss which answered her question.

The two parted and Rebecca caught up with her friends to continue the strange new experience of normal life.

Please comment! thier really helpful and i love reading your views.
Alyssa