Born Twice
By Alyssa Plant

”You really need our help girl; we have to save you before tomboyitis takes a firm hold.”

Chapter 9

Rebecca wondered what she should wear to go shopping with Annie and Page. She had no girls’ clothes, and even if she did, she was unsure about going out in public, as right as she felt.
Donning a pair of androgynous jeans, and a university hoodie, she sat on her bed to wait for the girls.

This had happened so fast; she had been forced to confront the issue, and now it was carrying her along in its wake… decisions making themselves…

She began to wonder what family life would be like, as a girl. She could stop pretending to like sports to please her father, a weight off her shoulders. She prayed that he might love her.

As Rebecca drifted off into a daydream about her father giving her away at her wedding, her phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey love, its us, come down, were outside” came the voice of Annie through her phones speaker.

“Sure, 2 secs” Becca hung up and left the building to begin another leg of the bizarre journey.

As she exited the building, she saw Annie in the passenger seat of Page’s car, a cute little hatchback.

Greeting the girls, she joined them in the car, and before she could even fasten her seatbelt, she had Annie shaking her head melodramatically at her.

”You really need our help girl; we have to save you before tomboyitis takes a firm hold.” She giggled.

”I didn’t have anything else” muttered Rebecca, “And besides, I don’t think I’m comfortable with the idea of being a girl in public yet.”

“Seriously love, nobody sees a boy anyway, even dressed like that, and Annie is right, you so need saving, nobody would see anything but a tomboyish girl hiding her figure under baggy clothes.” Page said locking eyes with Rebecca through the rear-view mirror, “Are you sure you’re a boy physically?” she giggled.

Rebecca felt a tear roll down her cheek and turned to look out the window.

Page hadn’t missed it.

”oh my god, I’m sorry Becca, you know I didn’t mean that like that. I was just trying to be light-hearted, I’m sorry.”

Rebecca didn’t say another word for the rest of the journey.

Arriving at the out of town mall, the girls left the car to conduct some intensive retail therapy.

Rebecca didn’t feel nervous, after all, why should she? She was dressed how she did day in day out. But was page right?
Did people see her as a girl anyway?

Once inside the store, Annie and Page dragged Rebecca into the Lingerie department.

”If were doing this right, we’d best work from the inside outwards…” Said Annie as she flicked through a rack of bras.

“What’s your band size?” Annie looked at Rebecca who shrugged.

Sighing, Annie pulled a tape measure from her. “Page, deal with her” she announced. “Ill go get some of the other essentials.”

Taking her hand, Page dragged Rebecca into the changing rooms.

“Come on then, off with it, I need to measure you” she said impatiently while Becca stood dumbly.

Almost giving in, Rebecca removed her hoodie, and Page slipped the tape around her torso.

”34, brilliant, you’ve got the pick of styles” She said handing Becca her Hoodie back.

“You know, even without b... visible breasts” Page corrected. I still have a hard time believing you were born in a male body…”

“Don’t make me prove it,” Rebecca quipped on their way out, “I don’t think either of us would like that”. She giggled.

The trio blazed through the department stores and boutiques of the mall, and 4 hours later, sat drinking cokes in the food court.

After 20 minutes convincing and bargaining, Rebecca sat in a pair of crá¨me girls’ jeans, and a black fitted blouse, assisted in the chest department by some strategic hosiery.

“See? That wasn’t so hard was it?” Annie asked after taking a sip from her drink.

”I know your scared honey, but trust me, nobody has a clue, and they have even less chance to have a clue now your dressing like a girl too… people see a duck shaped, duck sounding, duck walking, um, duck, and they see a duck….

You look like a girl, considering you’ve never tried, you move like a girl, and you sound like a girl. I doubt any store here has in-house gynaecologists or x-ray cameras… so were safe for now…”

Rebecca sighed, she knew here fear was irrational, but it was all so new, she was sure something had to go wrong soon.
As things were going, the only person who was having a bad day was her bank manager.

“I know Annie, and I cant thank you guys enough, I wouldn’t have had the courage to do this without you, you’re the best friends ever.

Rebecca began to tear up as she smiled broadly at her friends.

Finishing their drinks, the three began to head towards the car when Page spotted a Claire’s Accessories store, and tapping Annie on the shoulder, diverted Rebecca in.

“This love, is on us” The pair announced as they directed Rebecca to the earrings section.

“I don’t have pierced ears guys; I can’t wear any of these….” Becca absent-mindedly announced as she flipped through the racks.

“We have that covered” Page grinned as Annie returned with an Assistant.

10 minutes, and a great deal of noise from Rebecca, she left with a double piercing in each ear lobe.

“Don’t worry Bex; I kicked up a worse fuss when I had mine done….”

“You weren’t 18” Rebecca muttered. She felt somewhat embraced at her performance, but it had been a very big piercing gun…

Linking arms, the 3 left the mall to return to the car.

On the way home, Rebecca couldn’t help but giggle at the thought of the little car scraping along the road with the weight of her shopping.

She had spent over  £600 on clothing and accessories, and it really hadn’t felt like 4 hours either…

Rebecca wondered what damage she could do to her bank balance with a full day.

She was making friends for the first time, and she was accepted for who she was. She could feel herself floating on an emotional high.

Rebecca’s tummy did flips as she imagined what Paul was doing right now.
Probably eating, drinking, or playing video games with the guys she guessed, it would be nice to imagine he was thinking of her though.

Clouds began to drift across Rebecca’s sunshine as she thought of her parents.

Would they accept her like this? They had known she was horribly depressed in her teens, but could they accept this as why? Would they try to convince her she was still depressed? Or delusional?

What scared Rebecca the most was that she didn’t know what they would think? It scared her that she so blatantly didn’t know her parents. Almost as bad as them not knowing HER.

As the car pulled into the grounds of the Hall of residence, Rebecca was roused from her mental conflict.

As they carried the small mountain of bags up to Rebecca’s floor, she passed Danny on the stairway.

Danny raised his eyebrows when he saw her

“You just proved beyond a doubt that you’re a woman Becca…. No man could buy that much crap so fast”

Rebecca grinned up at her floor mate/

”I had a lot of catching up to do, and I had help of course….” She giggled jerking her head in the direction of Annie and Page.

Danny threw his hands up in surrender, “I give up! I don’t get you women.”

“Is pa…” Becca began before Danny broke out laughing.

“Oh yeah, he’s in his room, he’s been pining about you all afternoon. And don’t worry, he’s talked to us all, we know the score, and were cool with it, were on your side ok? I am sort of to blame…” he admitted sheepishly as he took some bags from Rebecca.
“No you didn’t Danny, you just catalysed things” She admitted shaking her head.

“It would have happened with or without you guys,” she sighed, “It’s not over yet though, this was just the beginning.”

“of your shopping?” he grinned

“no, dealing with the fallout of coming out…” she sighed. “I am glad that you guys are ok with it, I really worried that you would all hate me for it.”

“Why? You’re our friend, and we aren’t stupid, were at university, if we had closed minds, we wouldn’t have lasted here….” Danny said as he dumped the bags onto Rebecca’s bed.

“See you later lass” he called as he left the room. “Oh, lost puppy incoming” he laughed.

Rebecca spun around to see Paul stick his head around the door.

“Wow you girls were busy, god Rebecca, you look amazing.” He gasped.

“What? This old thing?” she giggled plucking at her blouse. “Glad my efforts are appreciated” she giggled as she snuggled into his arms.

“EHEM” Page cleared her throat.

”Could you two lovebirds keep off each other for a moment?

Rebecca looked back over her shoulder without detaching from Paul’s embrace,

”like I said to Danny, I have a lot of catching up to do” She giggled.