Chapter 1

It's been 8 weeks since I left home and during that time I've sailed across the Atlantic, been on television, made new friends, found new relatives, got in touch literally with my inner girl and learnt to salsa! All that of course means nothing in Cardiff until it's been shared with the friends I've grown up with, however only Serena, Jenny, Evan and Andy are in the city, and maybe not even them. A shift has happened and my childhood friends are no longer my friends since childhood but have become the friends of my childhood.

"Venus!!!"

As Bill's new motorhome pulls up outside my parents' house Serena's screech pierces the suburban tranquility.

"God you're so pale and skinny girl!"

Nobody had thought to tell me that 2 weeks in hospital with a no solid foods diet for the first 9 days had left me looking like death warmed up but that's what friends do! "Help me in with my bags See and you'll hear why."

I found it almost impossible to go back into my home without reverting to being the person I'd been when I left but I did make an effort, teasing Mum and Dad with the idea my trip had been part of their training to cope with 'empty nest syndrome'.

"There's no cure," announced Grandma Tina. "It might be unfair but although when here Isaac is the man of the house, to me he will always be first and foremost my son!"

It was the word 'son' that hit me. When I had thought of reverting to an earlier stage in my parents house I'd imagined myself as a younger girl, not as a boy, but on hearing Grandma's words I couldn't help but wonder if to my mother I'd always be first and foremost her son. Dad I had no doubts about especially after our New Year's Eve but Mum had been slow to come around intellectually and I wasn't at all sure about her deeper feelings.

"Mum, now I'm back and have to take things easy while I convalesce I would like to learn more about cooking and sewing and wondered if you would be willing to help?"

The answer was slow and considered as Mum knew I was at least as good a cook as her and neither of us were any great shakes at dress making but eventually she said "That's a lovely idea Venus and I'm sure we'll have fun learning together."

The smile on Mum's face was precious but maybe I was being a little manipulative as I'd looked in my notebook on the drive from London and noticed:-
① Recipes - home cooked meals with no local shop to run to for ingredients.
② Sewing - sails needed sewing and clothes needed repairing.
③ Exercises to keep fit at sea.
④ New things to learn to sail new type of boat.
⑤ Learn to scuba dive.
⑥ Find out how to get clean fuel.
➆ Christmas traditions - decorations for the boat.
⑧ Learn to dance.
⑨ Lightning strike protection.
⑩ Rudder protection.
There was more but I'd made a start and Serena didn't know it yet but she was soon going to be joining me in 'Fitness Workouts' because if I'm going to suffer it's only fair that my friends do too!

The early hot topic of conversation that evening didn't turn out to be my operation, the Caribbean holiday, sailing the Atlantic, or indeed anything I knew about… It was Bill's new motorhome. Mum thought it was ridiculous for a 75 and 78 year old to be wandering around the countryside camping. Bill explained that there were perfectly good hotels when they wanted luxury but they took planning while with their 'magic bus' they could go where they wanted, when they wanted. I thought that Grandma and my new Grandpa were set on making up for having been a generation too old and sensible when the 1960s erupted. What did come out about their magic bus was that so far most trips had gone out and back via the new boat but as soon as the boat was mentioned a veto was declared. "That topic is for Bill, Isaac and Venus only," Mum stated "Once you three start on the boat I know we can forget any other conversation"

"What about Venus and her operation then?" broke in Serena clearly keen to get to the meat course of the chat.

"Oh no, I don't think so. Not with men present! You'd better ask her when you two are alone." With that answer Mum answered my earlier doubts as last year she had quite openly talked about Jack's rupture with all of us present but considered Aunt Sophie's laser therapy an unsuitable topic for mixed company so I had to find out from my sister about pre-cancerous cervical cells and what was happening. In Mum's mind it seems I am now at least female enough that my bits aren't suitable for discussion in front of Dad and Bill.

The conversation instead went on to dancing which everyone enjoyed on holiday and Come Dancing which had been a regular television programme in our house when I was growing up. I brought up my intention to learn more dances now I was back in Cardiff.

"My generation enjoys dancing as much as any other, so something like Come Dancing will be back on television once they get rid of those weird professionals and have people we can relate to."

"But nobody does those dances any more," said Litara.

"Maybe the dances have changed but I saw Venus Waltzing and dancing Salsa," said Grandma "and I'm not going to forget your pole dancing in a hurry Litara as I don't think you'd still be single if there had been any men there watching! You know people at the BBC Litara, tell them to bring back our Come Dancing!"

That is how the evening went and it wasn't until Serena and I excused ourselves and went upstairs so I could unpack that she finally got the full gory details of my operation and a few juicy personal details of my trip such as my meeting with Armando.

"In a few months I've been told I'll be able to have sex normally but it wasn't until I saw him that I ever imagined that I might want to with a man."

"Why the long wait? I thought bones mend and wounds heal in about 6 weeks."

"In my case it is more a matter of my growing. I might be an 18 year old on the outside but I'm much more immature inside as I'm still at the stage you were before your first period."

"That is seriously weird Venus! You're both my best friend and like a baby sister!"

We chatted on until midnight but in the end I had to call it a night as this was my first full day out of bed. As I saw her out of our front door and waved once I'd seen her safely open her own door across the road I stood for a minute breathing in the cold Welsh air. I was home and as they say, tomorrow was the first day of the rest of my life.