Chapter 56

It's 06:30 Christmas morning and I'm jogging the seafront of Charlotte Amelie as there haven't been many opportunities to get out early in the morning and any later it would be too warm to run. I wonder as I'm running if the children here have woken their parents early and where Santa leaves their presents in homes lacking chimneys. By the BBQ?

On I reaching the edge of town after a mile or so I turn back toward the marina but this time on a parallel road one street inland where there are the many jewellery shops that cater to the cruise ships. Awkwardly on this main street as I run I have to readjust myself up top, wondering as I do so if I will have trouble getting into my bridesmaid dress - Grandma Tina will be livid if it doesn't fit! In all the 3 miles run takes me nearly 30 minutes so I'm hardly racing but it feels good to stretch my legs and I did lose time window shopping!

Back on WorthIt there is still no movement as I make my tea and pick up my phone to punch 01144-029-######

"Happy Christmas Da! Is everyone ok?

"We're well and missing you, sweetheart. It isn't be the same without you. Litara is here and we're expecting Tina and Bill soon. Where are you?"

And on the conversation went with Mum joining in and saying she thought the interview on television went well although she wished I'd worn something less 'revealing' than the off-the-shoulder top. Litara then came on to say she would call me later in the day leaving me feeling… that the call was an anti-climax which for some reason left me close to tears? Christmas Day was supposed to be a time of hugs and kisses, not reassuring words from thousands of miles away. Somehow I both knew that and knew that in real life families don't go round hugging each other!

By this time everybody was up - even the boys - and Sam had taken over the galley to make devilled kidneys, bacon and mushrooms for everyone. It didn't sound very Texan but was she explained an ancient family tradition going back at least 10 years when an English aunt visited for Christmas and insisted they find a butcher who could supply them. The ensuing search was memorable which was why it was now repeated each year - this year's were found and supplied by one of the previous day's guests who couldn't quite believe Sam was going to make her family eat offal! Into my notebook went ➆ Christmas traditions - decorations for the boat.

No sooner were we cleared up from breakfast, which was surprisingly good, then any plans we crew had were thrown into disarray. The mother of our shark prodding guest wanted us all including the crew to join them for after dinner fun and relaxation by the pool at their villa. The Worths had been going up to the villa in any case and we could hardly turn down the invitation but I think we would have preferred to have the boat to ourselves to indulge that most followed of Christmas traditions - vegetating whilst watching old movies!

The Worths and Tracy headed off to church leaving Sheila, Bruce and I to our pagan revelries - or not as Sheila decided she needed Bruce to celebrate so I went for a walk with my camera to give them some privacy.

I found first an unchristmassy synagogue which is over 200 years old and Blackbeard's Castle which was over 300 years old but appeared to have no connection to the pirate Blackbeard (Edward Teach). In my mind there was nothing but indians living in camps in the Caribbean before the Europeans came but Christopher Columbus found villages of different tribes here which made it a type of pre-European town until newly introduced diseases wiped out the population - my Anglocentric history education didn't seem to have given me any idea of what the rest of the world had been up to over the centuries.

We all gathered back aboard for a lunch of a Christmas Ham which made a lot more sense than trying to roast a large turkey in the tropics and didn't leave me with the usual Christmas feeling of being over-stuffed. Toasts were made all round, dishes washed and then we had a quick personal tidy and freshen of makeup - I was wearing the outfit Mum had criticised earlier bought at heavy discount from the television wardrobe. At the last moment I added a gold broach and dusting of gold to my eyeshadow to be in tune with the Christmas spirit girded my metaphorical loins and joined the others as we were ushered to three waiting cars…

It seems our hosts had no space or expense worries in adding a few extra guests to their already large party - the view and the pool were spectacular so picking a sunshade and lounger I was relaxing to see how things unfolded when my phone rang as Litara had promised.

"Happy Christmas Mrs Goose-who-lays-the-golden-eggs." were Litara's first words!"

"Happy Christmas to you too Sis but what are you talking about?"

Viewing figures for the Bilbao documentary were small but very good for that sort of programme due to the 'audience pulling power" of the building and it had been well reviewed next day. I in particular was highlighted first for my impact as a fresh, original presenter, then as a woman with unusual presence for an 18 year old and only lastly for having 'grown up as a boy'.

"Don't get big-headed as not enough people saw it to make you an instantly recognised public figure but it looks as though you've got lucky on the gender thing. Research suggests that with Hayley on Coronation Street and Dana International winning Eurovision, being transgender is no longer big news. Most people didn't even register as newsworthy that openly transgender Georgina Beyer became a member of the New Zealand Parliament at the end of 1999."

"But you know I'm not transgender Litara," I objected, quietly so nobody near me heard.

"That doesn't matter. What is important is that the other documentary makers think with the Captain Cook voyage as a link you will have sufficient credibility and pulling power that we don't need to play on your personal gender transition. You might even be able to turn presenting into a longer career or, in a few years, be reading the 9 o'clock News!"

Slowly I calmed my over-excited sister, who was clearly 'high' on the success of her plan, and I promised to phone her as soon as we arrived in the Dominican Republic before putting my phone away

"Oh my gawd! It's that woman orf the telly!"

I turned to face my mega-decibel accuser. "It's you innit? I'd recognise that top anywhere!"

It seems new neighbours freshly flown in from the UK had been invited the party but I was spared having to make explanations by a call to order from our host.

"Ladies and gentlemen. we have special guests here today in the shape of the crew of yacht WorthIt down in the harbour. Yesterday they gave us the greatest Christmas gift anyone could wish when they saved the life of our son from a savage shark attack. As they will be sailing on in the morning my wife and I wanted to make this party a special thank you to them and to offer a small Christmas Gift as a memento." Glasses were raised to us in a toast and we each had to go up and receive an envelope containing $2,500 in what must be the most humiliating experience of my life!

It took an hour for us to politely extricate ourselves from the party arranging a lift back down the hill, but by sundown we were back aboard doing what we should have been doing all along - arguing over which movie to watch. We discussed just in how many ways the afternoon had offended without actually pledging to give the money back and I solved the conundrum of Bruce - he was that boy a few years on. Born to privilege and with the best education money could buy he had become determinedly downward mobile intent on getting his feet on the ground.