Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 2

Chapter 2

*Before…

I swallow. “Am I okay?”

“We don’t know, we’ll see what the doctors say Shawn.”

I nod.

That still just doesn’t sit right with me but what can I do?

*And Now…

There’s a lull in everything as we sort of falter conversationally and the woman I am pretty sure might be my mother and she’s running her fingers through my hair still and it feels nice, I sorta feel like a cat.

I look over at her. “Mom?”

“Yes Honey?”

I sigh with relief. “Good…I wasn’t sure.”

She gives me this sort of hurt and odd look like she’s confused. “Wasn’t sure?”

“You look kind of young for a mom, I wasn’t sure if you were a step-mom or my step mom.”

She blushes and smiles and kisses my forehead. “That’s super sweet, wrong but I’ll take it.”

I blush. “It’s just you’re wearing a really nice outfit.”

She looks at me oddly.

What? Oh I feel odd now.

“Shouldn’t I have said that?”

She’s like. “No, no it’s just really odd coming from you.”

I blink. “It is?”

“Yeah you’re a lot like your dad.”

I look at him and he’s looking at me and then her and shrugs. “Hey, I married her and still can’t keep my hands off her; he’s just got a good eye.”

She’s blushing some more but smiling.

They’re both smiling.

“Okay, I think I like you guys.” It’s partly a joke and partly the truth. I mean I kind of, sort of just met them and everything.

They both look at me then laugh a little.

It relieves some of the tension that was going on and we all sort of have smiles now even if they’re kind of unsure ones.

Dad gets up and heads out. “I’ll be right back I’m going to get a coffee do you two want anything?’

Oh…oh the thought has my stomach get all queasy and I’m not sure foods a good idea.

“Danny that might not be a good idea with Shawn turning green and stuff.” Mom…yeah Mom says.

He looks at me. “You okay Bud?”

Eeew…that really feels sort of not good like I don’t like ‘bud’.

“Shawn then.” I sort of look at him startled and he says. “You made a face, you didn’t like that when you were little either, maybe that’s a good sign.”

I shrug and look at mom who shrugs too.

He shakes his head with a smile and he comes back in and sits down. “Not feeling good?”

“That’s an understatement…” I run my fingers through my hair it’s there, it feels wrong and off somehow and everything but it’s there. “I must have been out a long time.”

They both nod and Mom looks like she’s getting teary eyed again she says. “Almost six months.”

“Whoa…” I.. I’m not sure how to even process that I mean that’s a half a year gone really with the missing memories on top of all of that too.

I rub my hand through my hair again. “Was this longer?”

She nods and so does dad. “They had to shave it all off when they took the pressure off.”

Dad says. “Well the rest of the way off they shaved a lot of it to get at the injuries that you already had to go with it.”

“Oh…do…do I have a lot of bad scars?”

That worries me, for some reason that really worries me.

Dad looks at me nodding, “Mostly the surgical stuff, most of the damage was cuts that have healed up and the rest was surgical stuff on your scalp and your back.”

“Oh…”

That’s still sort of disturbing a little but I’m not sure why.

I run my hands through my hair again and sigh and Mom gives me a soft hug and we’re like that for a while and then the nurses come back and someone in a lab coat comes in with a wheelie tray and a doctor. Well I think he’s a doctor he’s like tall with nice clothes under a lab coat and he has a nice looking haircut and he’s all sort of salt and pepper in that sort of way that you’d sort of expect from like a doctor on TV.

“Mr., Mrs. Wilson, Shawn....it’s good to see you awake how are you feeling?”

I look at my folks then him. “I hurt, I can’t remember anything…but I really hurt and stuff.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Stuff?”

“I’m kind of queasy and really exhausted.”

“Well, you’ve been on liquid foods for quite a while and now that you’re awake your body is sort of resetting and that’s why you’re exhausted too you haven’t used you muscles for a long time and the little tussle you had with the nurses likely pushed you past all the reserves that you had.”

I cough-laugh a little. “I had reserves?”

“Well not much of them.”

“It feels like that.”

“Well honestly it’s supposed to. Now we’re going to get you some food…mind you just broth and jello to start but it’ll be something in your system. And we need to do tests.”

“Tests?”

“Cat-scan and MRI’s and X-ray’s to see how things are doing and I’m going to give you a look over now while the vampire here takes some bloods.”

“Ugh…okay.”

Mom and Dad move but they stay close and The Dr. stays on one side probing and checking and mostly using the stethoscope to listen to my heart and breathing and his hands check my back which actually doesn’t hurt too bad when he’s touching it it’s just sort of like a mix between feeling gingerly sore and good from the heat of his hands.

He’s also doing stuff like looking at my eyes and making me look all over the place while he shines that light in them and he gets me to do things like move my fingers and my toes and then to try and move them in order and even this one where I’m touch each finger to my thumb?

“So…do you want me to juggle too?”

“Can you juggle?”

“Uhm…beats me I have no idea.” I look at my Mom and Dad and dad just shrugs and says. “Not as far as I know of.”

We are doing that sort of smiling at each other thing again and I am kind of happy because really from my point of view I think I could have woken up with a lot worse parents really.

I mean to say I honestly don’t think that they’re going to be much more different that the way that they are right now in the future and stuff.

I look at the doc and I’m sort of rubbing at my arm where the lab tech drew out all those vials of blood. “So am I going to make it?”

He nods and smiles as he’s making notes. “You’re coming along really well. Now we still have tests to do especially with the head wounds that you had taken and we’ll try to see just what level of damage you took and how much you recovered from the last tests were done but it’s looking good.”

Dad… “So he’ll get his memory back?”

“Honestly?”

Mom… “Yes please.”

“It’s unlikely….it’s not certain by any means but I’ve seen a few injuries like this and there’s been some off a lot worse and the people with that kind of memory loss even if they come through it okay the things that are lost are in most cases pretty much gone for life.”

“Fuck….” Yeah that was me.

“Shaaawn…” Yeah that was dad.

“Sorry.”

He exhales and just gives me this sort of wry smile. I sort of smile back and then I look back to the doctor.

“So what does that all mean?”

“Well like I said tests you had to have some disc’s replaced, you were very, very hurt and that’s going to likely mean you’ll have back problems the rest of your life but hopefully we can counter a lot of that with a good physio routine. The rest will come back healthwise but I want you to see a psychological specialist.”

“Why, for my memory?”

“Some, there is a chance the memory loss could be trauma induced too but you survived a major accident and you were the only one Shawn that did. That will leave an effect on you I think memories or not and even dealing with the level of injuries that you have can have a pretty rough effect too.”

As much as all of this just seems like so, so much that I’m sort of shaking again I nod and shakily take another sip of what’s left of my water.

The doctor tries to give me this reassuring looking smile and he does that older man hand on my shoulder and squeeze thing and says. “Well I’ll schedule the tests and I’ll see about getting you a psychiatrist and while all of that’s going on we’ll see about some soup and some jello once the nurse takes you off of the catheter.”

Oh...oh I never even thought until he mentioned that and it’s…

It’s sort of the creepiest feeling I can sort of imagine…it sort of feels wrong.

He leaves and Mom and Dad leave after I sort of give them a pleading look and the nurse gets started and it’s the same nice nurse that helped me when all of this started.

She’s gentle…

She’s really gentle but everything she’s doing just feels so…wrong and it’s just…I can’t even really describe it other than this sort of feeling of wrong, of wrongness there and shame too.

I don’t want to see it; I don’t want to look at it.

I…I don’t know what’s wrong but it’s wrong and I know she’s trying her best but I end up crying through the whole thing and even when she’s done I’m still crying and I roll over to my side as best I can and cry into the pillow.

I think she was rubbing my back at one point and trying to comfort me and she was replaced by Mom and there is something that is like maybe visceral there?

I know Mom’s touch, just from the way she was with me before I know the difference and I cry all the harder once it’s her.