Bridges 42

Chapter 42

*Before…

She looks at me and she nods and she smiles at me "Yes Ma'am." and Cass looks at the cash and she doesn’t freak out or say anything except to kiss me again lightly but sweetly.
She breaks the kiss and she gives me that smile…that I love you in her eyes and take your breath away smile.
“God I love you Samaritan Chase.”
I smile and blush and there’s almost tears there from that because I’ve never heard a woman, never heard anyone use my full name and love in the same sentence.
It’s not Samantha but she made it sound like it…it kind of feels like this sweet little impact in my heart.
Her…my name but as a girl…as a woman and she’s telling me she loves me.

*And Now…

There’s such a really great moment too with just the two of us standing there in our sort of own little world and kissing.

Well it’s not really our little world but just one of those really good times when it feels like that.

And not caring who is watching us and stuff is really nice considering it’s been a thing that I’ve been fighting ever since I was put on leave and had started to come out and into my transition. There’s always been someone that had a problem with it in some way I guess.

It’s taken a long, long time for me to get from there to here.

I kiss Cass again and we sort of kiss-cuddle with her belly-bump touching me and there’s this wave of contentment that comes over me all mixed up with this sweet deep love.

“C’mon Sam I’ll show you around there’s some cool stuff going on.”

“I’d really like that.”

We hold hands and we walk it’s not that far really we’re just sort of in the down town but not the big sky rise down town part but the older and re-built part of downtown…gentrified they call it but it’s a lot of the old brickers and warehouses refurbished and re-purposed and it’s the Olympic spirit everywhere.

I really love it and I’m getting little knick-knacks and stuff.

I’m right on that end of The Crazy-Canucks generation…that’s our famous ski team that we had and dad was so into the winter games and stuff too. When it came around and it was on TV and stuff it was pretty much the only thing on TV.

That and Smith & Smith, 4-on-the-floor…and all of those things.

I’m a girl from the plaid shirts in high school with work boots because it was cool…eight track and the adapters for the cassettes.

So…yeah…Armed Forces after all of that I love my country.

And there’s a lot of great stuff that’s only put out now at the Olympics and we don’t host it that often either so yeah I’m buying the drinking glasses and the bobble heads and we both get jerseys for the Hockey teams…both the men’s and the women’s teams.

The men’s team ones the nylon really baggy ones they make really great sleep shirts for around the house.

Polar bear stuffies and moose and hockey pucks and stuff and we do some other shopping too because I’m getting a few things, we’re getting a few things for Brandon.

I’m back to work…and as Cass told me when she took out her visa card. “We’re a double income family now hon, we can spend some just to actually enjoy ourselves.”

It took me a minute to clue into that that and to let her use her card and for me to not think and choose things for the first time.

Actually for the first time in my life really, we didn’t lack for stuff home but also I like as in myself being an armed forces nurse on disability leave…money got tight. And I was lucky that mom and dad’s house and stuff was there and paid off because if I had to do that and rent and stuff.

So enjoying it, having even a little bit of this, like this is pretty cool.

I kiss her as she gets some sweats and has the bag and I smile at her. “This, this was really cool but…”

“But?”

“Bills, pre-school, class trips, college…”

She smiles and she kisses me. “We’ll make do; we’re a three parent family as well as a two person house hold.”

I bite my lip after she kisses me.

Okay…and it is.

Brandon’s not one of those guys, he’s our double best friend outside of each other and we both love him a lot and he loves us a lot and he won’t be one of those people that would just walk away from this stuff happening.

And I've seen the look in his eyes. He wants to be a dad.

And that makes me smile.

And get a little wistful as we walk back to the car and we get in. Cass is driving and pregnant or not she still smiles at me sweetly and she gets my door for me.

“Cass…you don’t have to.”

“I know but I want to y’know. I’ve got this amazing wife and I want to spoil her sometimes.”

“Well when you put it that way….okay.”

It is cool and it is romantic and stuff too and no I don’t need it but it’s really damned nice.

Yeah I’m still even now getting used to nice.

She drives and she looks at me. “Sam? You were kinda quiet back there what’s up?”

“Thinking about the baby and us but Brandon and stuff and it just sort of came out in this whole feeling and stuff of how much my mom and dad would have just loved this, I mean I’m pretty sure with like the stuff I remember they’d be okay with me transitioning but Mom could only have me…I think that they would have been really thrilled about us and us having the baby.”

She smiles at me. “Good, I think that’s awesome.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, because that’s normal and stuff it’s normal to want family and to share things like this with them and stuff.”

“Like your folks?”

“Yes like my folks and they’re talking about coming out to be around while I’m off and the baby is coming.”

“You okay with that?” I ask because well it’s family and you kind of have to ask. I mean I know that she’s okay with them and stuff because of Christmas and the wedding and stuff but that’s very different than having them come and stay with us and stuff.

She looks at me. “They will not be living at the house; I’m far too much in love with my wife to not get intimate with her. I’m not dodging my folks.”

“So where are they going to stay?”

“We’ll talk that over with them after I’m off, but they’re not staying with us not with jenny still living with us thank god.”

I laugh. “Not looking forward to it?”

“No…Sam, there’s relationships with parents and kids and then there’s trying to have a lesbian relationship with your het mother.”

“So?”

“So it is really, really more than uncomfortable.”

“You two don’t talk about it.”

“We talk about the relationship stuff sure but not the sex and that sort of deeper but intense sort of stuff…that I actually sort of save for my dad.”

“I though lesbian stuff and guys was kind of forbidden?” I grin because I’m kind of joking; it is sort of this joke in the lesbian community or a joke-stereotype.

She grins back. “It is, I mean a lot of women into women go way overboard with the penis hate…I don’t hate penis bearing people and stuff and I don’t blame them for the ills of the world…my dad is my dad and he’s been in the longest and most stable relationship with a woman I know so yeah I talk with him.”

I love that fact that Cass is talking happily about that, like that.

I’ve known other lesbians and stuff like the ex that were so much otherwise.

It’s one of the things I love about her.

I mean she loved me for me and she loved me pre-op as a woman loving and falling in love with another woman.

And I’ve been a long, long time in getting here and finding a soul like hers.

I’m smiling and we head out from town and head to the Olympic village compound and it’s way more than cool when we avoid the car lines and the parking hassles and the lines when we pull up to an alternate gate and she shows her ID and gets me signed in.

There some designated parking and we’re pretty close to the security station or one of them and she waves to the guys who wave back and we get our jackets and scarves and team Canada toques and she takes my arm in hers and we head off towards the pavilions.