Walking in Beckys Shoes — Chapter 6
By
Julie D Cole

Nicks walked part way home with me. Again he insisted to carry my bag since he didn’t have one. I couldn’t wait to shower and change. He’d made me feel a bit funny and my pants had got tight and were a bit damp.

Choosing from Rebbecca’s wardrobe this evening was going to be a bit more of a task. How to be Becky and then meet Nicks as me?

I took much longer than usual in the shower and thought a lot about whether I should miss seeing Millie and just meet Nicks to see what plan he had to trap the attacker. Then again should I go meet Millie and just call him and say I couldn’t meet up.

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I couldn’t say no to either when I thought about it. Both were friends and it wasn’t like I could afford to lose either. I really liked both of them although in Millies case I felt a complete fraud. Surely she would soon suss me out and I worried in case it upset her at a time when she was trying to recover from an awful ordeal. I’d had a similar but less traumatic experience and had been lucky that Nicks arrived in the nick of time. I had to smile to myself. Nick of time. I wished I could tell Millie since it would make her giggle.

I examined myself closely to ensure I didn’t give too many clues as to my real identity. I’d used one of mums disposable razors to remove the fuzziness from my chin and the few hairs on my chest and legs. Not that they were very prominent and I knew the location of every one of them.

As I towelled myself dry I wiped the steam from the mirror. There I was a 10 stone weakling and for certain I wasn’t going to be any good in a fight. I hoped Nicks wasn’t thinking of jumping anybody since he wasn’t exactly Mr Universe but then again he’d come to my rescue. Well to Becky’s rescue not me.

I looked at myself and for a moment I saw Rebecca. In the shower cap I looked more girl than boy. I just looked a bit on the flat chested side whereas she takes after mum. Am I jealous. Is the Pope a Catholic? Of course I was.

I lifted the towel a little higher and wrapped it around my chest . I tried to create a bust by lifting the soft flesh of my chest. If I could only find some way of pumping them up a bit it would be great. I could simand puspushing pushed each lifted without any big boobiesbust atrying. specially since it was flowered with a small bow. and I liked it. Maybe I should stop trying to hide this side of me. Maybe mum knew already. Why did she joke about wering Millies underwear?

The mark on my neck was still sore and pronounced and a painful reminder of the down side of presenting as Becky. But an effeminate boy seemed to be just as vulnerable if more likely to be bullied and even beaten. I was scared for a moment and thought I shouldn’t go out at all and just curl up on the sofa but then maybe if I kept to the safe route to the High Street it would be OK. After all I had to work on my assignment and also I could find out what happened in the headmasters office.

I let the towel drop a bit and wore it like a skirt before going into Rebeccas room.Maybe if I wore a little less make-up and wore some leggings I could just put some jogger bottoms in my bag and slip them over the top before I met Nicks.

I brushed my hair out to remove the drops of water that somehow got passed the cap. It felt nice as I let it hang as I bent sideways. Somehow it made me relax and I was sure that my hair was softer than normal. It seemed fuller and wasn’t difficult to adjust to the more feminine style I preferred. But it didn’t feel fresh after being at college all day even when I pushed it up a little to give more fullness on the top of my head. So I brushed it back into a ponytail and held it with a scrunchy. Becky looked back at me. At least I had the look I needed to pass with Millie.

I wondered how Nicks would react if he could see me now. I may never be able to look him in the eye again if he thought I was enjoying being Becky. What if Millie found out her friend was really a boy. Would she have another breakdown? Why did I feel so mixed up inside and why did I have a dampness in my panties on the way home from school by just spending time with Nicks.

Now how was I going to hide this awful bruise on my neck? It was still quite sore so I applied some antiseptic cream to try to sooth it. The teeth imprint were fairly obvious so I just hoped mum didn’t look too closely. I decided not to cover it with an Elastoplast since it just attracts attention so I used some of mums foundation to cover it.

I needed to get rid of the smell of the antiseptic so I squirted some of mums perfume on my chest and onto my wrists as I’d seen her do many times. I tried not to use too much but I’d no idea if a squirt was just a sniff or a nose full. Anyway I did 3 squirts plus one for luck. Mum smelled so nice when she wore it but maybe I had a different body smell so I needed more. Maybe just one more squirt for double luck.

I looked in the mirror again. At least the bruising wasn’t so noticeable now. God I looked so girly. I liked it a lot and even the attack hadn’t put me off. I’d prefer to meet Millie as Becky and it would be great if I didn’t have to be so secretive and if I could just be her for a while to explore more of this side of me. Why did I have to be born with dangly bits? They just get in the way and are not very nice to look at. I couldn’t imagine what they might look like as I grew older. Bigger and more difficult to conceal I imagine.

Anyway for now I didn’t have to worry too much and by using a black thong from Rebecca’s undie drawer I squashed them as flat as I could and I looked like a lot of the girls from school in their leotards who either hadn’t yet plucked up the courage to trim or shave their pubic area. Well that was the general opinion from the boys locker room anyway.

So what to wear? I needed something to allow me to change after I left Millie without searching for a bathroom and getting caught in the wrong one.

I opted for a black leotard or body I suppose that fastened underneath much to my frustration. No chance to fasten the clips after I put it on. The body was like a catapult. If I missed the eyes with the hooks the body almost ended up around my neck like a scarf. So I fastened it before stepping into it and that worked better. I then put on matching black leggings. Maybe I’d got this the wrong way around and it should have been leggings first but I needed to remove them and put on my Levis later and this was easier.

The body actually might look like a t shirt under my shirt. I decided to use an open shirt or blouse as it was since it was out of Rebeccas drawer not mine. I needed to cover up my front area because it was a bit too provocative. Not exactly Beyonce but good enough. I actually now looked like I had the girly bits except for the bust. So how to present a bust without a bra and use something that I could remove later before I met Nicks? Was I getting a bit too paranoid? Not really I guess I just didn’t want to revert to the daytime look. I wanted to be Becky. Oh Nicks why did you have to insist I help you and what good am I?

I guess wasn’t exactly flat chested but Millie might wonder what happened to the mounds that she’d been so jealous of the first time we met. I couldn’t really wear the water filled balloons I liked to wear so I searched for an alternative. I needed something that wouldn’t slip out of position but nothing worked.

In the end I had to strip down and put on a bra that I padded out with socks. What a let down. But on the practical side I could wear the socks later and if I kept my jacket on when I met Nicks the bra might not show.

That was pretty much it. I did look like a girl but sadly with socks for a bust I didn’t feel enough like one. I just wished there was some way that I could inflate my chest with a chest pump. Now that would be an invention. The ‘Bust Boomer’ or something and I’m sure it would attract a lot of guys either for self development or to apply to girlfriends.

Anyway after finishing up I was soon on my way and as usual Millie arrived before me. She ran towards me and gave me a hug. How did I get into this mess. She is so sweet and so friendly. I felt about 2 inches tall right then.

But no chance to feel bad or mope about it since she was so excited. She told me all about her meeting with the headmaster and it turned out that the weirdo had attacked at least 6 more girls and the police were trying to find the most recent girl using some security tapes from a shop on the high street. Millie said the video showed a guy hanging around in the shop doorway playing with himself but she couldn’t tell if it was her assailant. The girl was walking past the shop about the same time I had left the restaurant. She was worried in case it was me and so relieved to see me arrive.

I couldn’t say much and I guess my instant reaction was to touch the marl on my neck and I shivered for a moment realising how lucky I’d been that Nicks was on his way to meet his mum. This creep had to be stopped, Nick was right. The police did seem to be taking it more seriously now and no need for Nicks to take a risk. But how to stop him since he was so stubborn?

“Becky what’s that mark on your neck? Is it a hickey?’ Have you been with someone? Have you been with a boy? Have you got a boyfriend. Come on let me see.”

I took advantage of Millies barrage of questions to gather my thoughts.”Yes, no, I mean yes, no I don’t it’s nothing.”

“Well I did meet someone last night who has been fancying me for a while and he did get a bit amorous.”

“ Oh Becky you didn’t tell me you were going with someone. Who is he? What’s his name? Is he good looking?”

“It’s nothing serious. I should have stopped him. He is just a friend.”

“but he gave you a hickey. That means he really fancies you and you like him.”

“ don’t please Millie. It was just the wine we had.”

“ you said you had to go home. Was he waiting for you? Why didn’t you say?”

“Sorry but he just walked me home and I couldn’t say no could I?”

“Did he try anything? What’s he like? Is he very passionate? Can he kiss? Did he do tongues on you?”

“ Millie please. What do you take me for. I don’t like tongues. Well not on the first date.”

“Date? So it was a date.”

“no it wasn’t. It was all innocent honestly.”

“What’s his name then? Are you seeing him again?’”

“well I’m seeing him about 8pm after I leave here. He offered to take me for a pizza.” I tried to make up an excuse and Millie was accepting it.

“Oh so we won’t be friends anymore if you start dating him.”

“Don’t worry Millie we will still be friends and I need to keep up my studying. You are so good for me. I adore spending time with you and chatting whilst we study.”

She settled down after that but it wasn’t easy to focus with Millie smirking and eyeing me up and down.

“Did he touch you? Did he like your bust? Did he unfasten your bra and touch you?”

“Millie please. I feel so embarrassed.”

“OK OK. But I need to know the full details later. I never had a hickey. But if I had a bust like you it might be different.”

I realised it was going to be impossible to work so I gave up and I finally admitted I’d met Nicks. Then shock horror I’d made a mistake. He’d met Millie and her mum after I left them and Millies mum and Nicks mum were friends.”

I couldn’t change my story now I had to hope and pray Millie didn’t realise. Blast now I was going to look like I made things up. I wan’t to change my story but if I did then I expected it would look worse. I tried to change the subject and the only thing I could think of to distract her was to say I was available to go shopping come Saturday. That did it but I couldn’t help feeling I was going to be totally at risk in broad daylight with a high chance we’d meet other students in town. I wanted to rewind and start over but too late.

I watched the clock with Millie making comments that I couldn’t wait to get the matching hickey on the other side of my neck. I just played along. I was feeling a little uncomfortable and damp again by the time I left. We hugged and I tried to avoid her getting too close since a bump had appeared that I was having difficulty disguising.

When I was out of sight and Millies waves had stopped I found a dark corner to put on my Levis and jacket. I removed my sock busts and put on my trainers. I looked in a shop window to check myself out and then headed for our meeting point.

I couldn’t see Nicks he was late. Not like him at all. I was looking at some shoes when I heard the click of heels behind me. I turned and my mouth dropped open.

‘Nicks. My God is that you Nicks. You look so funny. What on earth are you doing dressed like that?’

To be continued ……………….