The Womanless Beauty Pageant — Part 6 of 11

The only thing worse than being pressured into participating in a womanless beauty pageant, is to finish in last place. The ramifications of that experience turned out to be life changing, for Miss Bobby.

As Co-authors, Monica and I have a couple of very special ladies to thank, both are icons in the TG community.

The first is Vickie Tern. Without her encouragement and inspiration this story would never have been written.
The second is our muse, Kelly Ann Rogers; her midcourse corrections were vital to the story's completion.

As the authors we hope you enjoy reading this bit of fun.
If anyone wishes to build off our FFL cub theme; you have our permission and encouragement.

Marina Joy and Monica Rose


Bob was sound asleep when there was a pounding on his door. "Who is it?"

"It's Candy you twit. Open up and let me in."

"What a minute I'm not dressed."

Bob unhooked his suction cups, wrapped his body in the bed sheet, unlocked the door and retreated to the bed. Candy stormed in like she owned the place.

"What are you doing here?" questioned Bob.

"I'm fulfilling my pledge to Sue, to watch out for your sad ass. How are you doing since your clumsy accident?"

"I'm fine, now please leave."

Candy ignored his request, "Not so fast, I want to be able to give Sue a detailed report on your condition."

Bob was trapped on the bed and hid behind his sheet. She meandered randomly through his place. When she got to the four boxes she opened the first flap and got a glimpse of frilly things. Bob jumped up clinging onto the bed sheet and pushed her away. "Those are mine, stay out of them."

Candy went and sat on his bed, she picked up the suction devices. She recognized them for what they were and maliciously commented, "You wasted your money on those. It's a scam. Oh look at the long face. What's wrong Bobby?"

"I'm lonely and miss my wife and best friend."

Candy laughed, "You mean ex-best friend don't you?" Then holding up a letter with Sue's handwriting and addressed to Candy, she waved it at Bob. "I get a message from her every day. How many times have you heard from her?"

"Get out Candy, I'm healthy and that's all you need to know. Letter or no letter, she is still my wife!"

"I know I'm still working on that one."

Candy stood next to the sissified Bobby and gloated, "It's no use sulking, Bobby. Face facts, you're not the man Sue fell in love with. I'm not sure you're a real man anymore. Bobby, you turned in your man card the day you agreed to participate in the pageant."

Bob took a determined step toward Candy trying to intimidate her, "Who said I wasn't. I'll show you."

At which point Candy ripped the bed sheet from Bob's hands. There he stood with two diminutive breasts protruding from his chest, wearing a corset, ears adorned with sparkly studs, a set of French knickers, and to top it off his nails done up in sissy pink.

"Yeah I can see that. Wait till Sue hears about this."

Candy poked his left boob with her finger. "Not exactly porn star knockers like my Phil's, but for a sissy they're not bad."

Candy left the room laughing so hard she bumped into the doorjamb on her way out. Bob just stood shell-shocked and didn't move until he heard her car roar away.

After over three weeks of double doses of hormones, the euphoria of the first few days gave way to wild mood swings with periods of severe depression. He thought seriously of calling his psychologist, but didn't have his number any longer. Sue had handled all doctor appointments. There were times when Bob honestly didn't believe he could handle it, the loneliness and utter despair of his situation. One letter or email from Sue would have saved Bob. He so wanted to question her about the birth control pills. Candy's cruel comments hurt Bob to the quick. What if what she inferred was true, that Sue didn't care for him anymore? Was he going through this girlie hell for nothing? He sat and cried, like he hadn't since he was a small child.

@ @ @ @

Candy drove her Jag to the post office to check her box. She didn't have her mail delivered home, too many inquisitive eyes. She dug out two letters from Sue; opening them she found the customary request to deliver them to Bobby. Candy casually dropped them in the trashcan, as she thought, 'When is that woman going to forget about the loser of a man she married. She is on the edge of switching teams, I can just tell. It's only a matter of time until I get her in my bed and make the trade official.'

Candy drove home with a smile on her face. She pulled up to her front door in a shower of gravel. Candy hadn't even closed her car door when the front entrance opened and there framed in the doorway was a tall broad shouldered caricature of a French maid. Marching to the door Candy ordered, "Pocahontas, fetch me a double Scotch, bring it into my office and make it fast."

"I'm called Pénélope, mistress, not Pocahontas."

"Yeah whatever! God I love your legs in those six inch spikes. I know they're a bitch to work in; but I don't care! You weren't hired for your résumé; you're only here as eye candy! Now on your way, don't make me punish you again for insubordination."

Candy sat at her computer. Her maid brought the drink and handed it to her displaying thick masculine fingers tipped with ultra-long crimson nails. Candy sighed and thought, 'Good help is so hard to find these days. They're truly a dying breed that's why I've been forced to train my own.'

"Pénélope you're a gem, I don't know how I got along without you."

Pénélope tucked an errant lock of blonde hair back under her maid's cap and turned to leave. Candy looked over the rim of her whisky glass and called out, "Wait Phyllis."

In exasperation the maid turned, "Mistress, for the last time, please call me Pénélope. That's the name we agreed to when I signed my personal services contract."

"I know I keep getting you confused with the bum who used to live here."

"How may I be of service?"

"Pénélope, have you made up the guest bedroom like I ordered? My nephew Sam is arriving tomorrow."

"Yes ma'am, everything is exactly as you directed. The painters left this morning. The room is now a lovely shade of pink."

"That’s great I'm sure Samantha will hate it. I won't be long here, go finish your chores, then join me for a bubble bath, its play time."

Candy opened her email; skipping past all the work related issues until she came to an email from her latest prospective conquest.

'Dear Candy, have you heard from my husband? I'm getting desperate, I'm worried sick. I'm about to give up on that man. He is so inconsiderate. I'm so lonely; he could at least take the time to write. If I don't hear from him soon, things will change between us. You have been forwarding my emails right? The Chinese won't allow us to go through our normal providers. They insist on us using their government service. We have been warned our mail is being read and censored. Please let me know what's going on. Hugs from Sue.'

Candy cackled as she read the letter. She replied immediately.

'Dear Sue, I am so sorry about that dud of a husband. Trust me, I've hand delivered all of your letters, and forwarded your emails the minute I get them. I probably shouldn't be telling you this; I do know he was out drinking at Sadie's Strip Club. Evidently he'd too much to drink and fell and hit his head. I just left him, he's physically fine. He didn't even mention your name, sorry.

Hugs and kisses from your Candy Cane.'

@ @ @ @

Bob sat alone in his apartment, anticipating and fearing at the same time Sue's return in three days. To keep his mind occupied he was busy cleaning the apartment. No mattered how hard he concentrated he was still bewildered about his status with Sue. She'd ignored him for an entire month. What was the message she was trying to send, that she'd given up on their marriage. Or was it something more Machiavellian, just a ploy to motivate Bob to greater heights? It gave Bob a headache trying to figure out Sue's intentions.

Bob was about to throw away a pile of papers when he noticed the coupon for the free facial. Bob thought back to the last two times at the beauty college but figured the law of averages was in his favor this time. He decided, he would do this for himself and worry about Sue later. He disconnected the milking machines from his chest, he marveled at how pink and sensitive his breasts and nipples got after a prolonged secession on the pump. He put on his soft support bra, a sweatshirt and his girl shorts. He threw his keys, wallet and coupon in his purse and headed to the Beauty College.

Walking through the front doors he was immediately greeted by Judy, the manager, who again apologized for his last trip. She assured him Pierre had received a firm warning and was fined a week's pay for his little prank. Bob sat and relaxed as the beautician finished his facial.

A young woman named Yvonne approached Bobby with a proposition. She was just starting at the school training to be a cosmologist and needed to do five makeovers in a week. She was way behind and offered to do one for Bobby free of charge; she even stipulated she would go slow and explain every step so he could replicate the look at home. Bob readily agreed.

Yvonne disappeared in the rear; Jack sat nervously in the chair twisting his fingers in his lap waiting for his treatment to begin. Pierre had been reassigned to clean up and was sweeping the floor when he recognized his old friend Bobby. He thought here was his chance for payback. When Yvonne came to the cabinet for her supplies, Pierre offered to help. He handed her a series of tubes, jars, and creams out of his personal locker.

"Pierre, none of these have labels."

"I know dear, that's part of the school's teaching process. You must learn to identify the products by their look and feel and not rely on labeling."

"That makes sense."

Pierre maliciously inquired, "What look are you going to give our customer?"

"I was thinking a normal daytime makeover."

His eyes twinkling with mischief he replied, "Oh, no dear, anyone can do that. I really think the full out glamour look would be more educational for you. Give your client, the 'I'm going clubbing' look. It'll bring you to everyone's attention, I'm sure."

Yvonne positioned the supplies Pierre had provided for her at her work station. She studied the shape of his face and laid out a game plan.

"What length do you want on the false eyelashes?" A speechless Bobby shrugged and stared straight ahead, "Do whatever you think is best."

"Let's go with the extra thick glamour length for a start. I've these human hair lashes, which are very fashionable they've crystals embedded in the lashes. They really draw attention to the eyes."

As she glued the lashes in place Pierre celebrated, the ditz Yvonne had failed to notice he'd replaced the eyelash adhesive with a tube of superglue.

She worked her magic on the new customer, while dispensing witty fashion banter and an occasional life lesson. Bob remained mute and could only gawk in amazement. Over the last week or so, he'd slowly come to the realization that he had the potential to be a passable woman. But now he was more than that. With his makeup done this way he was no super model but he was a very convincing looking woman. He wondered what Sue would think of his new look.

His eyes were outlined in heavy jet-black and then accentuated with long false lashes, while his lids were dramatically adorned in sparkling smoky black and gray eye shadow. Dusky rose blush caused his prominent cheekbones to smolder with intensity. His full, pouty lips were covered with a creamy coat of dramatic tart red lipstick.

Yvonne stood back and admired her work. She was more than satisfied and she could see by the look on her client's face that she was too.

"What do you think Bobby?" Yvonne asked beaming.

He didn't hesitate. "I'm amazed. I never thought I could look this pretty."

Yvonne humbly answered, "It was easy you have great skin and amazing bone structure.

Puckering his lips Bob asked, "How long will they glisten like this?"

"It's a new lip gloss I can't tell you exactly. I'll sell you a tube to keep in your purse."

Bob was mesmerized by his lips; they were so plump and inviting. "What shade of lipstick did you use?"

"I'm not sure, wait here I'll go check."

Bob sat and fluttered his eyes in the mirror and thought, 'my lashes feel like they weighed a ton, but they are simply scrumptious.'

He reclined in the salon chair and waited for what seemed like hours. Eventually Judy, rather than Yvonne scurried over to his chair. The look on her face concerned Bob. "What's the matter, you look worried?"

"Yvonne is crying in the back room, she feels terrible. Ms. Turner, I don't know how to explain this. The makeup Yvonne applied isn't our normal product. It's advertised as being permanent. She feels terrible about the mix-up. I'll do an investigation to find out how those cosmetics got mixed in with our normal supply."

As he came up out of his chair, Bob shrieked, "Permanent. You've got to be shitting me!"

"Relax, long lasting is more accurate, my best guess is what you're wearing will fade in about six weeks."

"Oh, that's much better. Maybe I will get a burka veil and go into hiding for that time.

"I'm so sorry; let me do something to make this up to you. Is there anything you need right now?"

"Yes, a drink and make it a double."

"I don't have any alcohol, but I do have a couple of Valium in my purse. Would you like those while we work out what to do?"

"Yes please, I'm about to have a nervous breakdown."

Waiting for the drugs to take effect, Judy proposed a deal to avoid a lawsuit. I've noticed your hairdo is less than attractive. How about I put my best girls on giving you a makeover, to include hair extensions?"

Then in a lighthearted manner she added, "They can be cut out if you don't like them, they aren't permanent."

In his shock and drug induced stupor Bob agreed. He thought, 'Anything to get out of this madhouse. Why do I keep coming back here?'

Diane was first; she spent the better part of two hours weaving his extensions into his existing hair. When she was finished, Bob could feel the hair tickling his shoulders. He was amazed at the added weight a few inches hair caused. Once that was done Diane set his hair in long curls, then placed Bob under the dryer, and handed him a Cosmo to read while he waited. With his hair dry and still in curlers, he was led back to the chair, where Betty removed his shoes and stockings to give him a pedicure, Silvia simultaneously worked on his manicure. Once they were done Bobby had a set of sparkly nails in the same shade of red as his lips. Diane removed his curlers and fluffed, arranged, and set his new hairstyle with spray. He was lead over to a mirror. The reflection of a beautiful, if overdone young woman stared back. Her full, fluffy blonde waves surrounded her head like a golden halo, and softly caressed her shoulders with long coils of curls.

Bob was so startled by what he saw he actually wet himself.

Bob headed for the door before his little whoops leaked through to his shorts; French knickers do not a nappy make. Before he could make his escape he was intercepted by Judy.

She scrutinized him with a professional eye, "Ms. Turner, I'm just not saying this; but, darn, you look fabulous."

She briefed Bobby that he'd been given the very best synthetic hair extensions on the market. She assured him they would retain their present shape for up to a week. The only maintenance required was a comb through with his fingers and everything would fall back into place. Bob's stomach churned, as he patiently listened to this woman who blocked his only exit, as she rambled on about the differences between human hair and synthetic hair extensions. He excused himself and said he had to get going he had been there longer than planned. Judy wouldn't let him leave until he'd signed a form, freeing the beauty college from all liabilities for their mistake. With pee running down his leg he would have signed anything to get to away.

Judy just couldn't let it end there he was in the parking lot when Judy hollered after him, "We have clinics for our new girls on full body waxing every Saturday. As a preferred customer you'll get head of the line privileges."

Bob ran the rest of the way to his truck. He got home, cleaned the wet spot on his truck seat and relaxed for what remained of the day. Routine was his emotional lifesaver, he took his special vitamins, and herbal supplements, attached his suction cups and surfed the net until he fell asleep. He awoke the next morning with the suction pump still working. He walked to the bathroom for his morning ablutions. Glancing into the mirror he was still amazed at what he saw looking back at him. With his new face, heavy makeup, long blonde hair, and temporarily engorged chest with its matching set of perky nipples, he looked more like a Spice Girl - Wannabe than Bob the IT geek.

Bob despondently gazed at his razor, picked it up from the sink and took it with him into his morning shower. Shaving his face was a thing of the past, now he only shaved was his legs and underarms.

No matter how hard he scrubbed, his makeup remained fused to his face, even the damn glitter imbedded in the eye shadow. He eventually gave up on his face and turned his attention to using the lavender body wash cleaning the rest of his body. It was surprising how dirty his boobs were. It took several minutes of gentle washing until Bob moved on to his other body parts.

For some reason, Bob felt a need to perfect his feminine voice. He spent the entire day going through vocal exercises. He recorded his voice and played it back. It didn't sound like him. He needed a real life test. He picked up his cell phone and called a computer help desk, using his new speech pattern Bob identified himself as Bobby and asked a number of what could only be termed dumb blonde questions. He got a series of yes Ma'am, no ma'am and have a good day miss responses. Satisfied with his progress Bob spent the remainder of the day holding a conversation with himself.

It was mid-day Saturday; Bob sat in his favorite chair and worried about tomorrow. Would Sue just assume he would show up for their brunch date? Did she even want to see him? He was so conflicted.

Luckily, the issue was resolved with the arrival of his new friend, 'Candy'. She didn't even knock, simply barged into his room like a detachment of German storm troopers. "Get up twinkle toes; get your act together. We have work to do? Sue got home last night; I picked her up at the airport. Evidently she did a marvelous job of negotiation with those communist bastards and made the club a lot of money. In appreciation the club is throwing a party in her honor Sunday evening. For some reason, she insisted I invite you. I'm here to insure you come appropriately dressed. I see you've already done your makeup. Where did you learn at Tarts R Us?"

Her face opened into a huge amused grin, "Grab your credit cards we girls are going shopping?

"I don't have any money for discretionary spending. There are a number of outfits in those boxes, perhaps we could find something appropriate in there."

Candy tore through the boxes like a Viking raid on an Irish monastery. She settled on a Linen Mini Skirt, in cobalt blue with a high-rise waist and Frill hem. Then for a top she went with a Virgin white slim fit cashmere pullover with a Boat neckline, and 3/4 sleeves.

Candy threw a pair of leather ankle boots at Bob. "These will go nicely with your outfit. You still need just the right accessories. I'll bring them with me when I come. I'll even be your private taxi and take you to the party. I'll be back about three to help you get dressed."

@ @ @ @

Bob had just removed the suction devices, his breasts felt swollen and sensitive today. He glanced at the clock, Candy walked in at the strike of 3 PM.

Candy entered with a small bag from which she withdrew a pair of black hose. Bob put them on and fidgeted for several minutes to get the seams right. Candy had Bobby stand as she tightened his corset to its maximum. The extra tight corset arched his back slightly and increased the feminine sexiness to his walk. Bob slipped on the skirt, sat and put on his heels. He complained they were a size too small. Candy was not impressed with his argument; she merely reached down and zipped the boots closed. Bob stood to get his bra. Candy snatched the underwear from his hand and kept it behind her back. Waving the bra around like a flag she taunted, "These are for big girls; you don't have a need for this. You're going unsupported tonight. Put your sweater on we're going to be late."

When Bob complained, Candy looked at him like he was a recalcitrant child. He pulled the soft sweater over his head and settled it about his unfettered boobs. As the velvety cashmere caressed his hyper sensitive breasts, Bob felt a delightful tingle passed through him. He fluffed his hair with his fingers; the perfect coiffed hair gracefully swept the top of shoulders. Bob immediately noticed the tightness of his top. His frisky nipples were plainly evident as they made two distinctive knobs in his front.

Candy reached into her bag and produced some ostentatious jewelry. They were heavy vintage rhinestone encrusted dangling earrings, once attached they pulled on his earlobes and almost reached his shoulders. When he moved his head, Bob could feel them brushing against his neck.

Candy closely inspected her creation and proudly announced, "Bobby you're no beauty queen but passable pretty. Put on some perfume and we'll leave.

Candy dropped Bob off at the club entryway and went to park her car. Bob passed through the lobby and stood at the entrance to the auditorium. Bob took a few deep breaths and pushed open the door. The room was teaming with activity as Bobby made his grand entrance. It was a bit anticlimactic as no one seemed to notice. He spotted Sue dressed in a beautiful aquamarine sleeveless dress that he'd never seen before. Sue was surrounded by a bevy of club members all apparently vying for her attention.

@ @ @ @

He approached her from the side and said in his best girlie voice, "Welcome home Sue, it's good to have you back."

She gave a disinterested look to the attractive woman with the exaggerated makeup. The expression on her face was priceless when she realized the tart was actually Bobby. Hurt by his apparent failure to communicate with her during her long arduous trip, she spitefully replied, "Do I know you?"

"Sue, it's me, your husband under all this war paint."

Sue flicked her hair out of her eyes with a feminine grace and said, "I'm not sure who you are lady, my husband abandoned me and didn't even say goodbye. I can only assume I no longer have a husband."

Sue made a shooing motion with her hands, "Now run along little girl; us grownups are trying to hold a conversation."

Bob his willpower totally sapped meekly sought a chair nearby and sat pensively and sobbed in a table napkin, if his makeup hadn't been permanent he would have been a real sight. Bob was having a kaleidoscope of emotions wondering when this masquerade would end. Alex came and sat with Bob, Erika joined them on the other side. Bob soaked up their friendship like a dry sponge.

Sue turned her head to see what the commotion was; she saw Bobby sitting at the table with two of her club mentors. Erika saw Sue stare at the trio and jumped to her feet. In a loud and firm voice that reverberated throughout the room, "Shame on you Susan Turner, I thought we were friends. You aren't my friend if you treat this dear sweet man like this."

Erika literally turned her back on Sue and went to hug Bobby.

Sue was furious at being shunned; she reached over and grabbed Erika by the shoulder and spun her around, "Do you have any idea how badly that sweet person has hurt me? I was terrified I'd lost the one man I love. He ignored all my attempts at communication while I was away."

Facing an emotional apocalypse, Bob wasn't going to allow this revisionist history to stand. He jumped to his feet and shouted in a deep baritone voice, "Bull shit!"

The room became deathly quiet; it was as if someone farted in church. No one, certainly not some lowly male, would dare make a vulgar comment at the club. Everyone in the ballroom turned and glowered at Bob. He took a deep breath. Once he had a hold of his emotions he continued in a more appropriate feminine voice, where he kept it the remainder of the night. "You're the one that wouldn't talk to me. Daily, I sent emails to your personal and corporate accounts, and got zilch back."

Sue was unnerved by the way Bob spoke in such a confident and feminine manner. She looked like she was going to cry but still defended herself, "That's because Gmail doesn't work in China. Candy assured me she forwarded you my new email address. I also put it in the letters I sent you through Candy."

"I never received letter one from you, not even a post card. And no electronic mail either. What's your game Susan?"

Alex turned to Erika, "I think I smell a rat. Where's Candy?"

Veronica Miller, the chairperson came over to see what the disturbance was all about. The situation was explained and Veronica went to her office to organize a thorough search for the conveniently missing Candy. Sue placed her shoulder bag on the table and sat down across from her husband. The woman on each side clung to him like flypaper. Sue wasn't sure how she felt about that. She studied him intently and could see Bob hidden behind all the glitz and sparkles. Finally Sue just had to ask, "Bobby, why do you look like that?"

Bob sighed, "You mean like a twenty dollar hooker? It's a long story. Candy insisted I dress this way, the nose was an accident, and the hair and makeup were all a mix-up at my beauty parlor."

Sue did a double take, "You have a beauty parlor? My heavens a lot has changed in a few weeks."

Before Bob could amplify, Veronica returned. She stood presiding over the table. Waving over one of the multitude of scantily clad shemale waitresses, she had him distribute glasses of Dom Perginon champagne to everyone.

"Ladies, I believe what we have here is a failure to communicate. There was nothing malicious just a series of unintended mistakes. I reached Candy on her cell. She gave me her word she forwarded all correspondence from Sue to Bobby. Perhaps Bobby you should check and ensure you provided Candy with the correct URL."

"Candy also gave me her word she'd never received any snail mail from Sue at her home. I called and verified that with her housekeeper. Now everyone should just calm down and celebrate Susan's successful trip. She made this organization a boat load of money."

Sue finished her drink and politely asked the other ladies for privacy as she wanted to have some alone time with Bobby.

Bob noticed she didn't say her husband; rather she only used his feminized name.

Erika picked up on that also; so she left but only after giving Bobby a reassuring hug and a kiss on the lips.

Sue gasped. With a smirk Erika said, "Relax Susie-Q. Bobby and I are old friends. Why I bet he's even wearing the panties I left at his place. Just be aware Sue, you mess with my paramour, and you mess with me!"

Erika gave Alex a big theatrical wink. Alex turned to Sue, "Susan I have watched this man put himself through hell for you and have come to view him as a wonderful man and a good friend. Bobby may have traded in his jockey shorts, but I know for a fact he's all man under the lace panties."

In a huff she went off with Erika to the bar where they exchanged high fives. A perplexed Susan went and sat in the vacated seat next to Bob. He wondered if she did it as a sign of intimacy or just so no one would hear what she had to say.

"What's going on with you and those two?"

"Nothing, there're just good friends."

Sue glanced over to the bar at the two ladies; Alex gave Sue an innocent smile and went back to her drink. "Bobby did you really believe I simply would stop talking to you? That's not me. I've never backed down from a confrontation. If I was going to dump you I would be up front about it. I'm hurt you thought that."

Bob's normal reaction would be to go into grovel mode; but not this time. "Susan, don't go getting all sanctimonious on me. You thought the exact same thing of me." Part of his new backbone had to do the package he had glimpsed in Sue's handbag as it sat on the table.

"There's a difference, I have a historical precedent to justify my feelings. I was afraid it was more of your testosterone induced tantrums. I love your hair by the way; it must have taken a long time. You really must give me the name of your hairdresser. Maybe we could go together sometime."

The thought of returning to the Beauty College sent chills down his spine. "Trust me Susie; you don't want anything to do with my hairdresser."

Reaching out she took his hand into hers. "The old Bob never gave a hoot for his personal appearance. It must have taken you forever to get ready for this gala. I appreciate it; but it wasn't necessary."

Sue put her arm around Bobby and pulled him toward her. She inhaled the elixir of his perfume. "Good heavens, Bobby your feminine allure is quite strong tonight. Bobby, why did you go all fem for tonight? I'm impressed that you cared enough to make this effort."

"I just wanted to look pretty for you."

"I see, forgive me for saying this; the sudden interest in beauty is not very masculine. Are you starting to question your masculinity? No real man would willingly dive into the estrogen pool of makeup, bras and silk panties like you have. Yet look at you, it's like you just stepped off the cover of Vogue. I swear looking like you do; you could give a dead man an erection. You have come a long way on your journey along the girlie highway. There has to be more to it than a silly beauty contest. Are you exploring a new gender role? I'll understand if you are."

"No Susan, it may not look like it; but I'm still all man. Dressing as a woman doesn't change who I am, it just glamorizes the package."

Bob stood and pushed his chest towards Sue, and reached up and flicked one earring as he said with as much bravado as he could muster, "I'm parading around in this ridiculous paraphernalia to demonstrate to you how seriously I consider my pledge to give a 100% for the next pageant. That is what you wanted isn't it?"

With his nipple about to poke out her eye Sue leaned back reached up and tweaked his nipple while she said, "You're indecent in that top! Why aren't you wearing a bra?"

"Candy insisted I not wear a brassiere."

"Come on Bobby, you need to take responsibility for your own actions. Stop blaming Candy for everything. She is my best friend, stop trying to poison our relationship."

Hearing he'd lost his position as her best friend hurt Bob, he slumped into a chair. He said heatedly, "It's an inconvenient truth. You may not want to hear this; but Candy is a lying, conniving bitch."

"Nonsense, don't be a pompous ass, she is a sweet caring person. If fact she has privately confided to me, that since Phil is doing so well on his own; she now views you as her protégée. She is only trying to help you achieve your goal of being as feminine as you want." Even as she was defending Candy, Sue had to wonder if any of Bob's accusations had any basis in truth. But Candy was her friend and Candy wouldn't do anything to hurt Bob. Would she?

"Sue, wake up and smell the coffee, she's trying to break us up!"

Sue knitted her brow and said, "The mere idea that Candy would try and sabotage our relationship is cockamamie." She had already discarded the thought that Candy might be intentionally hurting Bob.

"Relationship, my ass!" said Bob, "She's trying to destroy our marriage."

"Bobby, keep your musings to yourself. Who my friends are is none of your business. When I want your opinion on my relationships, I'll ask for it or...!"

"Or what Sue?"

"Don't make me go there Bobby, you may not like where it ends up."

Bob jumped to his feet and threw a chair out of the way, "Damn it Susan, I'm not some gender neutral Booby. I'm Robert your husband. As long as I am, when I see you about to walk off a cliff I will talk to you any way I see fit."

Sue was taken aback by the virulence of his outburst. This was not the meek mild computer nerd she married.

Bob sat back down and calmly said, "Please don't leave me Sue. I love you and am just trying to protect you. I've no nefarious purpose in keeping you away from Candy. She's just an evil person."

"Who said anything about leaving you? The form of our relationship may be transforming into more of a friendship than a marriage and our future sleeping arrangements may change; but as long as you make a serious effort to change, I plan on keeping you around."

Hearing Sue allude to possible changes in their marriage brought Bob back to the package that had concerned him previously. Pointing to Sue's purse, he said, "Sue, why do you have a home pregnancy test in your purse?"

Sue barely glanced at it as she told Bob, "Oh...Candy asked me to pick it up for her." She reached over and closed the bag. Considering the fact that Candy had suggested that she show it to Bob made her wonder about Candy's intentions and motivations. But it seemed harmless, perhaps it was just Candy rubbing Bob's nose in the fact that he wasn't having sex and Candy and Sue were free to do so. In any case, she wasn't overly concerned.

"I thought that Candy and Phil weren't going to have sex, just like you and I?"

Sue just looked at Bob and said, "I don't know if Candy and Phil are sleeping together or not. That's their affair, not mine."

Bob could only consider Sue's words and think. If Candy and Phil were having sex, why was Sue so adamant about him and Sue not having sex? The longer he thought about, the more he worried about what that might mean for his marriage in the future. Maybe he should find a way to secretly contact Phil to find out what was going on in his relationship with Candy. He would just have to be careful to keep from being caught when he did so.

Sue interrupted his thoughts as she continued, "Whatever their sleeping arrangements might be, means nothing to us. We have a few more months to go before we will see if we will be living together again."

His fragile male ego took a big hit with that statement. Looking down at his throbbing finger he saw a chipped talon; that was the straw that broke the camel's back, he burst into a great sobbing wail. It was one of those cries where snot runs out your nose, tears blur you vision and breath comes in great gasping sobs.

Sue used a napkin to dry his face and lovingly ran her hands through his hair. Brushing his hair managed to relax the pensive Bobby. He eventually composed himself to the point Sue felt she could get through to him, "Alright Bobby tell me what that was all about?"

Bob held up his hand and showed Sue his ruined manicure.

It was Sue's turn to throw the bull shit flag, she turned their chairs so they were facing each other, called for two stiff drinks and demanded an explanation. Bob unburdened himself to her and told of his feels of inadequacy concerning Phil. He confessed he felt that unless he bested Phil in the pageant he would lose Sue. He admitted he was using hormones he acquired over the internet to grow his own breasts.

Sue turned toward Bobby and launched into a tirade, admonishing him for being so stupid. Taking any drug without a doctor's supervision was just plain idiotic. She asked, "Have you noticed any side effects aside from the nubbins on your chest and these PMS outbursts?"

Bob shamefacedly confessed, "Well, the biggest thing I've noticed is my wood has turned to silly putty. If that's what you're asking."

"OMG, we are going to the doctor first thing in the morning. Do you understand me?"

Then unable to contain herself she added, "I'm also taking you bra shopping."

"Yes dear, anything you say."

Sue could only look at the man sniffling in front of her. He hadn't always been like this; obviously the regimen of self-medication he had been subjecting himself to had affected his ability to apply common sense. He was a fool to be doing this to himself, but she loved him for it. How many men would go through this to win his wife back? She wished that she could take him home right now, but the hope of re-cooping the money she and Bob had spent from Candy and Phil meant that she had to see it through to the end.

**********

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