by Little Katie

Chapter 12
After the Dance

Emily met her father outside, a handful of garbage bags by her side. She casually tossed them on a table closest to the door. The yard was a mess, paper plates littered the tables and the yard had scraps of paper here and there.

"Try not to get dirty," Dad instructed.

"I could just take the dress off," Emily replied.

"Well, you still have one more visitor."

"Really, who?"

"Remember I told you about my friend Bob and how he has a child like you?"

"Oh, yeah, he wasn’t supposed to be born a boy."

"Good, you remembered."

"So what do I call her, him or whatever?"

"I guess you will decide when the time comes," Dad said giving a knowing smile as the two cleaned and talked.

"Yeah, well I hope they are nice."

"I am sure, they made those great invitations."

"Yes," Emily agreed.

"So did the party go well?"

"It was okay."

"Just okay? You seemed to be having lots of fun with your friends."

"Just with Sean and the girls, I really didn’t spend time with a lot of the others."

"Well, was the time spent with those three worth it?"

"Yes, very much so, I didn’t feel as weird."

"Getting a hang of all this girl stuff?"

"No, not really, but sometimes it's really cool."

"Well, by the way you look; I’d say you had it down pat."

"Oh, Dad." Emily blushed.

"Didn’t people tell you how cute you were?"

"Sean’s mom did, but I felt a little silly in this thing, I look like a little kid."

"You are a little kid; don’t try to grow up so fast, you got to relearn a lot of things."

"I didn’t mean like that, I meant like I was four or five."

"Did anyone say anything to you about it.”?

"No."

"Maybe Mom is better for picking the fashions, we've neither one of us been picking out girl's clothes to wear for a long time."

"I guess you're right, it does kind of feel really good."

"It looks good, too," John said as Emily bent down to pick up a stray cup, flashing her full ruffled pantied bottom to him.

The two almost finished cleaning up the yard, when a short balding gentleman entered the yard.

"Trying to clean up your messes before company comes, I see."

"Bob," John said just noticing his friend's presence.

"John, you work too hard, let the wind clean it up and entertain your guest." Bob chuckled.

"Well, you weren’t due for another fifteen."

"I like being punctual. Who is this beautiful little creature?" Bob pointed out Emily who was standing a step behind dad, using him as kind of a shield from the stranger.

"This is Emily." John put his hands on Emily’s shoulders and presented her to his friend.

Bob got down on one knee and got eye level with Emily. "You are absolutely beautiful, did you know that?"

"People keep telling me," Emily quipped.

"Believe them, they definitely aren’t lying."

Emily blushed and turned away, not yet used to hearing such praise from a stranger.

"You have yourself quite a winner here, John. She’s a keeper for sure."

"I wouldn’t trade her for all the tea in China." John said.

"That’s because you drink coffee," Emily put in.

John and Bob both laughed at the comment.

"Well, little girl," Bob addressed Emily, "I brought someone special of my own, I thought you two would like to meet."

"Yes, sir,"

"Katie, come on out, it's okay."

A small figure appeared from behind the door, it must have been watching the exchange as soon as it began. The girl that walked toward them had long flowing brown hair with a wavy look to it that reached down past her shoulders. The big blue eyes were locked on Emily. The long flowing sleeveless blue dress danced in the wind and accentuated the eyes well.

"That’s a boy?" Emily said in disbelief.

"Only on the outside," Bob explained.

"Go and talk to her, get to know her good." John put his hand on Emily’s ruffled bottom and pushed her towards Katie.

"Hi, I’m Emily." She introduced herself.

"Hi I’m Katie, how old are you?"

"I’m nine, almost nine and a half."

"Cool, I’m thirteen almost."

"You’re pretty." Emily complemented, making Katie blush slightly.

"You’re pretty, too."

The two got into small talk about the party and Emily went into the whole story to how she was changed. Katie listened in awe, fascinated by the details.

"So how is she holding up?" Bob asked John.

"Getting better."

"Still on suicide watch."

"Yeah," John said solemnly, "I took all my razors and stuff from the bathroom, but she seems to be doing better."

"It’s hard for these kids sometimes; I know Katie was thinking about it sometimes. It’s not a good thing when your outside and your inside don’t match. With Katie, things got better when she was allowed to dress the way she felt and grow her hair out."

"Yeah, my wife said we should try to force Emily to wear dresses and all, let her at least attempt to live in the body she has now."

"Well, how is she doing?"

"I don’t know, still early. Sometimes she seems perfectly happy and content being what she is, and other times I worry."

"At what other times?"

"Usually after my wife does something stupid."

"That should be a hint." Bob laughed.

"She means well, I don’t think she does things particularly out of spite."

"You know women, lot of head games."

"I hope Emily doesn’t develop that."

"Why should she? She’s got you wrapped around her finger."

"How so?"

"I can tell by your eyes, you are absolutely in love with her as a little girl."

"I loved her as a boy, too."

"Not the same way though, right, it's different with girls isn’t it, be honest."

"I suppose you are right, you go through the same thing?"

"You bet, we are much closer now that we are father and daughter. That wall that develops between sons is gone now."

"We were starting to get there, but we never did, this happened first."

"But you are happy it did, aren’t you?"

"To be honest, I am very happy. I am getting to know the real person inside, and she is remarkable. Sweet, funny and cute."

"Yes, it is amazing how we notice things, when we view them in a different light."

"So any word on getting Katie altered permanently?"

"You know how bad she wants it, but no one will touch her until she is 18. I might just go out of the country."

"That’s a possibility."

"An expensive one, I’ve been talking to some people in California."

"That’s still part of the states you know." John joked.

"But some of those doctors travel, I don’t want to go to a hack."

"I understand."

"Any way," Bob changed the subject, "you ready for the upcoming business retreat."

"I hate those things, team building exercises, we sell money, we don’t need a team."

"Don’t let upstairs hear you, your management."

"Well, at least it is only two days, I hope it’s better than last year."

"What? You didn’t like building a fort out of discarded trees in the pouring rain?"

"I still have nightmares." John laughed.

In the meanwhile, Emily was showing her guest around the house and gave the grand tour of her room, making sure to point out the stereo.

"Wow, this is great, your dad must have spent months making all this stuff." Katie Complimented.

"Nah, he always does things like this fast, he’s good with his hands."

"Always have to like a guy with good hands," Katie chuckled.

"Huh?" Emily didn’t quite get what was so funny.

"Nothing, let's have a little girl to girl chat?"

"But, you’re a boy."

"No, I’m not, Mom just put me together wrong inside her."

"But why would you want to go through all this?"

"Can we close the door for privacy and I’ll tell you."

"No, I got to keep it open, anyway we can hear people coming if the door is open."

"Okay, why I want to be a girl, I don’t"

"Then why do you dress up?"

"Let me finish, I don’t want to be a girl, I am a girl. It’s inside me."

"Oh, they made me a girl."

"Did they?"

"Yeah, 'cause I got into a wreck and when I woke up, POW! I’m a girl."

"Well, you certainly don’t seem to be fighting it any, look at you?"

"I know, Mom says I got to be."

"Have you fought her on it, have you cried and put up a fight?"

"Well, I told her I was still a boy, once."

"Once, that’s it?"

"I got slapped."

"But, you didn’t do it more?"

"No, it hurts."

Katie walked around Emily, studying every inch of her that she could see.

"What are you doing?" Emily asked.

"I was seeing if I saw any boy in you."

"How?"

"By the way you stand, you know boys stand different then girls, they talk different, too."

"Do not."

"Yes, and you definitely don’t talk or stand like you have any boy in you."

"Well, I got to hide it because of Mom."

"No, I don’t think you're hiding it, I think it's natural to you."

"Are you always this rude?" Emily started getting flustered.

"Let me ask you something?"

"Okay, but it better not be dirty."

"Not at all, do you hate everything about being a girl?"

"No."

"Do you hate half the things about being a girl, then?"

"No."

"Well how much do you hate being a girl?"

"I don’t know, maybe ten percent."

"Ten percent!" Katie exclaimed, "That’s less then
what most girls hate being themselves!"

"Is not, girls like being themselves all the time."

"Okay, what do you miss about being a boy then?"

"Baseball."

"Girls can play baseball, so that don’t count."

"Not in the majors they don’t."

"Well, that can change, were you playing in the majors before?"

"No," Emily laughed and her face became red.

"Anything else?"

"A lot of my friends aren’t my friends anymore."

"Well, if you can change back, right this minute, would you want to be their friend, knowing everything you do?"

"No, they are jerks."

"Do you hate the clothes?"

"No, I did at first a little, but they are kind of nice."

"You look cute in them too. So what do you hate about all that happened, I think you are lucky."

"Why?"

"Because I bet before the crash you wondered what it was like being a girl, maybe even dreamed about it."

"Shut up." Emily’s face got red with anger.

"Don’t worry, I won’t tell."

"Maybe I did once or twice, but--"

"It’s okay, everyone does it, I want to be a girl where my body matches everything else."

"You can have mine then."

"Listen, you can fight all you want, but I think deep down you love this. And, that’s all I’m going to say about it."

"Good."

Emily and Katie stayed in the room a while longer. Katie was full of knowledge about the difference between boys and girls and shared that with Emily. She told them how boys and girls sat different, and walked different and thought different. Katie even showed some demonstrations on how the two sides didn’t do things the same.

"I wonder if I have a girl brain or a boy brain," Emily wondered to herself.

"Do you know what’s a curtsey,?" Emily asked.

"Yeah, it’s a way for girls to bow, if you bow like a boy you flash everyone your panties."

"Oh," Emily laughed at the thought, "Can you show me?"

"Sure, you bet."

Katie found a good place to stand, one where nothing could get in her way. She put one foot behind the other, and while bending at the knee she held her skirt out.

"See, Easy."

Emily tried to do the same thing, but when she went to bend at the knee, she almost fell flat on her face.

"Don’t worry," Katie said, "it takes a little time to get it down right. Just practice, practice, practice."

Emily smiled back, feeling a little foolish about how awkward the movement had felt. She tried again.

"Good job, did we miss a performance?" A voice called from the door.

"Dad," Katie said.

"It’s time to go, honey," Bob instructed.

"Okay, bye Emily, it was fun. Think about what I told you before."

"I will, maybe you can come back sometimes, you were lots of fun." Emily left the invitation open, hoping maybe she had made a new friend.

"Ill pester my dad, he’ll bring me back."

"Let’s go, scamp." Bob put his arm around his daughter and ushered her away.

A minute later Dad came up to the room.

"You have fun?" he asked.

"Yes, she knew a lot of stuff."

"Good, hope you learned good things."

"Dad, do I have a girl brain or a boy brain?" Emily blurted out.

"I don’t know, I guess that’s really up to you." Dad sat on the bed next to his daughter.

"You mean I can choose?"

"I suppose, I think it is something that just comes to people."

"Oh."

"What brain do you think you have?"

"I don’t know anymore, the same one I always had I guess."

"Well, don’t tax you brain to hard, it will come to
you, and one day you will know for sure."

"I guess."

"Hey, there are still presents to open downstairs in the den."

"Can I open them now?"

"Yeah, that’s why I brought it up."

"Goody."

"This may sound odd, but can I carry you downstairs?"

"Yeah, but why?"

"Well, you look like such a cute little girl and I never had the privilege of carrying you downstairs as a little girl."

Emily blushed, "Yes dadda, carry me." Emily played along, putting her thumb in her mouth.

John scooped up Emily, placing his hand firmly on her ruffled bottom and letting her head rest against his shoulders. He slowly made his way down the stairs, enjoying the moment for what it was. He squeezed some of the ruffles together, playfully pinching Emily’s bottom in the process. He made it to the den, Vivian was there waiting.

"What do we have here?" Vivian asked.

"I don’t know," John played along, "I went to go get Emily and I found this precious little girl instead."

"Aw, does she want to be a baby, now?" Vivian said eagerly.

"No, Mom. I was just goofing around with Dad."

"Oh," Vivian felt a little put out that she stopped the little game.

"Okay, let’s open some presents," John said while placing Emily on the floor.

"Oh, I can’t wait." Emily said with surprising enthusiasm.

Emily sat on the couch, as the presents were laid about her. She couldn’t wait to see what she got, so she tore right through the paper.

"Look, a vanity," Mom said as Emily held up a metal box that was adorned with little white flowers. Opening it revealed a mirrored back, matching brush and comb and assorted hair accessories.

Emily opened a small box next, inside was a pair of heart-shaped earrings.

"How am I going to wear these?" She asked.

"We could go and get your ears pierced if you like, you are old enough." Mom answered.

"Really? I think I would like that."

"My, my, aren’t you a bundle of surprises today?" Dad added, noticing Emily a bit more at ease.

Emily opened a few more boxes, most of them were clothes: A mini skirt, a sheer nightgown, a few romp-around dresses and a sundress. She smiled as she opened each, happy that people thought enough to give her a gift. She then opened up some of the smaller boxes, it was as if people were on a Barbie theme, because before too long Emily was wondering who had more clothes, her or her new dolls.

Emily came to the last one.

"It’s from Charles," She said with bitterness in her voice she hadn’t displayed at any of the other gifts.

"Read the card and open it." Mom instructed.

"What every girl needs." Emily said, looking a little quizzical at the box. She then tore open the package.

"Mom, what’s a sensual massager," Emily asked looking at the long candle shaped device.

"It means it makes you feel good," Mom said while not looking too happy.

"Why would every girl need a back massager?" Emily said while she flipped the switch to make it buzz.

"They were probably being silly, let me have that." Mom took the device from Emily, turned it off and put it by the side of her. Emily knew that she was upset, but wasn’t quite sure why.

"We got a few more things," Mom broke the silence, "that are just from us."

"Oh, goody." Emily smiled.

"First," Dad handed Emily a long thin box, "Open this."

Emily pulled the ribbon to the side and pulled the lid of the top. "It’s a ballet suit." She smiled.

"We know you enjoy being athletic and when we saw you eyeing it in the store, we thought you may enjoy it." Mom said.

"Does this mean I can do lessons?"

"Yes, after the baby comes and things settle down you can."

"Great, Becky and Rachael asked me and I think I would like to a lot."

John and Vivian gave each other a look as to say, "Who is this person and what happened to our child?"

"Last one," John said handing Emily a small box, "we were debating whether or not to give it to you, but seeing the mood you are in, you might like it."

Emily opened the small box, a chain and charm greeted her eyes. "Special daughter," she read out loud and smiled.

"I love it," she exclaimed, giving her father and mother a kiss on the cheek each.

"I take it you are happy being a girl now." Mom said.

"I don’t know, but right now I’m very happy."

"Happy being a girl?" Mom probed.

"Yes, I guess so."

"Good, maybe soon you’ll like boys."

"Yuck," Emily made a face.

"Was worth a shot, maybe you should go upstairs and get into some run around clothes." Mom instructed.

"I might take a nap, I’m beat."

"Good idea, I’m beat too, I think I’ll rest on the couch." Mom told everyone.

"Dad, can you help me get out of this stuff?"

"Sure, I can give it a shot."

Emily jumped up and wrapped her arms around her father’s neck, her legs wrapped around his torso as his forearm nestled under her bottom.

"I suppose you expect to be carried around all the time now."

"Well, soon I’ll be too big to, and then you will have missed out."

"Guilt only goes so far you know," John tweaked his daughter’s nose, as she laughed.

"It works for now," Emily giggled and winked at her mother who was almost out of breath from laughing so hard.

Soon the pair made their way out of the den and up the stairs.

"Sure," Mom said to herself, "She’s a little girl with him, what about me? I’ll have my day soon, I’ll have the chance at a little girl before this one comes around." Vivian lifted her tired feet onto the couch, laid back and closed her eyes. "Sure, I’ll have a little baby Emily yet."

John opened the door leading to Emily’s room, and let her plop to the bed.

"The buttons are in the back daddy," Emily informed. "I don’t know why they would put them there, it's like they know you are going to need help. If I was by myself I’d be trapped in here forever."

"You make that sound like a bad thing."

"Well, I would get smelly after a few days." Emily laughed as John unbuttoned the dress.

"Nah, we will douse you in perfume." John went along with the joke, lifting the dress off his daughter.

"Well, I’m free now."

"That you are," John looked down at the little girl, in his eyes she looked younger than nine.

"I had fun today, lots, don’t tell Mom though."

"Why not?"

"Because, today was good, but she might think every day I will feel this good."

"So?"

"I don’t know if every day I will feel this good, and Mom don’t understand that."

"I think she does, I think even though her methods are archaic, she means the best?"

"She means the best, sure, but sometimes what she thinks is the best really hurts."

"Still mad about the banquet?"

"A little."

"Well, little pixie, I have the perfect remedy for madness?"

"What?"

"Tickle torture." John threw Emily down against the bed, running his large fingers against her sides. Emily kicked and yelled and tried to get away, but nothing prevailed.

"You can’t escape, little girl." John continued to tickle her.

"I give up, I give up." Emily screamed in delight.

"You got to give me a kiss first."

Emily reached up and kissed her father on the lips, causing him to cease. Emily lay on her bed, out of breath, near exhaustion.

"What a nice reward."

"Want to nap with me."

"I was thinking about working on my car, but tell you what, I will lay with you until you doze off."

"Great," Emily said as she pulled the ruffled panties off, "these were getting me to feel ridiculous."

"Do you think that’s a good idea?"

"What?"

"Being naked, with me here?"

"You're just Daddy."

"So you won’t do this for all the boys?" Dad tried to make light of the situation, but couldn’t help but notice that he kept looking between Emily’s legs.

"No, just you." Emily laughed, not noticing the effect she was starting to have.

"If I let on," John thought to himself, "she may think she is doing something wrong, I just got to remember she is my daughter, don’t do anything to hurt her. You wouldn’t forgive yourself."

"Come on, Dad, maybe you can tell me a story and make me go to sleep."

"Okay, sweetie." John got into the bed with his daughter, fighting the urges that were with him with all his worth. It was easy as soon as they were both under the light blanket. "Out of sight, out of mind, good." John thought to himself. He put one arm under Emily’s head and one hand gently rubbed her arm. She felt so warm that it gave John a sense of peace.

"Emily?"

"Yes, dada?" Emily mimicked baby talk.

"Why are you acting so different?"

"I don’t know, I guess I’m just getting comfortable with everything."

"So you think you want to remain a girl?"

"I don’t know, it's just clothes, on the inside I can be anything."

"I suppose you are right. What do you think you are inside?"

"I don’t know yet, I talked a lot to a lot of people, I think it’s still a battle."

"Looks like the girl is winning, honey."

"She is now, maybe for good, I don’t know. Sometimes I forget all of this and go back to how I was before. There is a lot to being a girl or a boy that people don’t think about."

"But you have to."

"Yes,"

"Well, I love you, no matter what."

"I know." Emily put her head against her father’s chest, fluttered her eyes, and fell asleep for her nap.

---

Yes, yes. I did write myself into the story. Vain, maybe a little. Actually, I introduced the character because after this story is done, the next one will be about yours truly. After the emotional trauma of chapters 8 and 9, I've been keeping things a bit light. Is life perfect, no. Is life ever perfect, only if you have some powerful mojo. Enjoy, leave comments.

Please note, this story was written in 2002. Things have changed, I have changed. I was working through a lot of different things back then, some of them scary, some of them I can't even explain any more. I hope this is still enjoyable. I am posting at the request of others.