Beth woke up groggily. She felt trapped for a moment before she realized that during the night the sheets had wrapped around her tightly. Having all the sheets including the bedsheet wrapped around her had caused her to sweat quite a bit as well as her nightie clung to her skin like glue. She knew it meant she had had a bad night. While she couldn't recall any of the dreams she did feel a little less that refreshed that morning. Once out of bed she put the bedsheets into the clothes basket by the door that already had the clothes she had worn the day before in it. From her suitcase she extracted her last clean nightie along with her makeup bag.

The bath that morning made her feel so much better and the feeling of a clean nightie on her clean body brought a smile to her face. It did not take her very long to lay out all she would wear that morning. Church, even in this small town, had etiquette rules for women. It was expected that a woman always present nice and feminine. Her mother had always had her wear a dress to church even as she got older and she saw no reason to change that. Indeed her on print dress had been packed for just that reason.

While still in just her white full slip she stole into the bathroom to utilize the mirror to fix her hair and makeup. The hair was done conservatively without any bows or ponytails. It just fell to frame her face nicely. Her makeup consisted of all earth tones to complement her skin while giving her the barely any makeup look. Satisfied all was as good as she could do with her limited supplies, she had this great powder in her dorm room that would be perfect, she sneaked back into her room to finish getting dressed with the pullover dress and its tie in the back sashes. Her shoe choice was limited to the flats as the only other shoes she had, again at the dorm, where open toed slingbacks. Grans necklace and simple studs adorned her for jewelry and she skipped anything on her wrists or fingers.

From what she understood from her mother's cryptic remarks the day before there was to be an informal gathering later on today. This was to be held at their house. Beth's wardrobe was limited as she didn't think her church dress would be appropriate nor would jeans. That left her with the 2 skirts she bought and a few tops she had not yet worn. She was still busy trying to decide when her mother knocked on the already open door. She looked up and waved her in to preoccupied with choosing the right outfit.

"What are you doing dear?" her mother asked.

"Trying to find something to wear later. Slacks would be perfect but I didn't bring any with me. My jeans and sweaters are all dirty but they wouldn't be proper anyways. I was thinking of maybe my black skirt with the side slit or the grey one. The grey one goes well with the white lace trimmed knit top but that might be a bit girly. On the other hand all I have for the black one is my red blouse that needs a quick ironing or the light pink top. However the top might show a bit too much cleavage. To wear the blouse I would need to put on my heels. I just don't know if I can look good enough without being over feminine. I don't want to upset them at all. Especially after the reception I got on Friday at the funeral."

"Beth I'm sure anything you choose would be fine. I would like to see you in that grey skirt and this knit top looks great. However the black skirt and blouse would be far too formal. The pink top does look a bit too daring. You could always wear your dress as it looks fine on you. I must say you look quite pretty. Trying to put your old mother to shame maybe?"

"Mother! It's a church dress I couldn't wear that what would they think? And no you look far better than me in that.. is that a new skirt suit? I love the color and style."

Indeed her mother's tailored skirt suit was a recent addition. Being made of a dark brown fabric with lots of black flower patterns lined with gold it looked really beautiful on the older woman. The double breasted style may be more in line with the 1980s than today but it still made her mother look amazing.

The two women discussed where they had purchased their individual outfits as they exited the room and were still deep in discussion on fabrics, cuts of styles, and even possibly getting together to make some outfits or at least start on some ideas with the many patterns her mother had gotten over the years.

Beth remembered that her mother had once sewn her princess gown when she was 8 for Halloween. She remembered every detail of the dress and even how it felt as she went from house to house getting many compliments. However she began to wonder just how real these memories were. Beth couldn't shake the feeling that, however much she felt whole and real, that something was wrong. What happened to her brother Eric. If she was Eric why did she not even have the smallest memory of being him. Surely there would be something. As hard as she thought on the ride to church she couldn't recall anything.

This time the trip into the church was different. Last time she had been so sure of herself and who she had always been. This time she was not entirely sure as she put her coat beside her mothers. She followed just like she always had before sitting with her knees together like always. It was maddening to not know what happened to poor Eric.

Beth's worries were not lost on her mother as she held Beth's hand at the beginning. Beth smiled grateful for her mother and relaxed. Beth sang when other did this time not being restricted by her mother as she sang. Her wonderful soprano blended in nicely with all the other women. Many of the women may have stared at her but it was more of the who is she stares than anything else.

In the vestibule she stopped and chatted with a few ladies who all wanted to know who she was. Beth found it strange to have to reintroduce herself to many of the women she had once babysat for but that was nothing to the stares she got from former classmates who wondered who she was. Becky Morrison, one of her rivals in highschool, didn't recognize her at all. Nor did Jason who took out a very shy 15 year old Beth on her very first double date.

To Beth it was just another reason to find out what happened to Eric and where she came from. One thing was for sure. She was a girl always had been. Now what happened to Eric, and who was she really? Beth pondered this for the entire ride back home. She was a little surprised they stopped off at the town pub. Then she remembered that one of the things they sometimes did was stop for breakfast/lunch here after church. Inside the place looked the same as it did when she was a little girl. Nothing had changed. Still the plywood covered sign by the door with the painted Open sign on it. She always thought it was cheesy.

It looked alright painted white with a red trim cut in an oval but still up close you could see it was plywood. The back said closed of course. Held by two simple chains on hooks. Same brown vinyl seats that always stuck to her thighs like glue. She was glad to be wearing the pantyhose because of that.

Beth followed her parents to a table that was open. Both her parents took the one side while she sat on the other side her mother's, father's, and her own fake fur coat were neatly piled beside her on the bench close to the wall. They had not been sitting long before the waitress ,Ms. Blitz who everyone called Shirley, came to take their orders. Her real first name was Bethany but for some reason the nickname Shirley had stuck with her. Something about her habit of saying "surely you jest".

"Hey Shirley!" Her father called out as she approached coffee pot in hand. She deftly poured her parents two cups of coffee without asking.

"Hey Bev, Henry and uh..."

"It's me Elizabeth Shirley." Beth exasperated. Shirley just looked at Beth for a better explanation. This was getting old for Beth and more than a little annoying. Did no one have any memory of her at all?

"This is our Daughter Shirley. Did you perhaps forget about her in your old age?" her mother deftly put in with a small smile. Shirley was not really that old but the jibe to her age were sure to provoke a reaction. Beth bent her head down to hide the smile on her face.

"Me forget your beautiful daughter? Surely you jest! Nice to see you hun just popping in for a visit?" She replied smoothly.

"Had to come back for gran's funeral. I kinda miss my sorority sisters at University though." Beth tried to pretend all was normal even though deep down she knew something was wrong.

"Woo big city collage girl!" She smiled widely as she said this then patted her hand." Still nice to see you back. What can I get Y'all." Beth could tell the Y'all was a play on the American mispronouncing of you all. It was something of a joke around town to hear that. The fact she said it in the restaurant meant she was relaxed enough to do so.

Beth knew exactly what she wanted and so did her parents. They ordered the waffle and sat waiting passing the time while their orders were cooked with idle chit chat about weather, the car, the house and other minor things. Beth was not disappointed when the orders came. The one thing this particular restaurant was really good at was the waffle. Aside from being as big as the plate a good 12 inches around it was also thick. Add a coating of real butter and the house syrup and it was heaven to eat. Beth savored every bite.

"You have no idea how much I missed this." Beth exclaimed in between bites." They have nothing like this in the city! I can't even find a waffle iron that can make them this size anywhere and I've looked really hard. The Belgian waffle makers are big but nothing like this."

Although she was careful to not get any syrup on her dress or her face she knew she would have to make a quick pit stop to check. All the years she remembered eating these she always managed to get a little on her face. With her mom along in the ladies room the two women repaired themselves, she did managed to get a spot on her nose, before they left to go back home.

Once they were home her mother got changed while Beth puttered around cleaning here and there still in her Sunday dress. It wasn't much as her mother kept the house in good shape but putting away things like a magazine or the trash mail into the recycle bin. Little things like that. Checking the bathroom sinks and changing the towels for fresh ones. Her mother came out in a nice skirt and blouse combination. The brown simple blouse and long black skirt were comfortable looking while not being over the top. Beth asked why she didn't put on pants and her mother replied that since her daughter would be in a skirt it would only be proper that mother and daughter wore similar clothing. Beth hugged her for that.

Beth went to her room and changed into the knit top and grey skirt slipping her feet into the grey flats that went with it. For her hair she changed it to drape gently down the side of her face on either side for a more adult look. It took a bit of brushing and a small amount of hairspray to make sure it stayed the way she wanted it.

Beth returned to the living room after a quick stop by the mirror in the bathroom to check herself to help her mother setup the now thawed cold cut platters on the sideboard. It was an antique sideboard they had redone with two sides that folded down or in this case up to extend the table. The white cheap plastic table cloth went over top and then the plastic trays with the meats, vegetables were set up. Beth removed the plastic from the small styrofoam plates and started to fold the paper towels into napkins. It did not take her all that long to fold 50 of them as she had lots of practice during her years as a waitress.

All was waiting and ready as the first of her many cousins, uncles and aunts arrived. Beth stood beside her parents with her hands held in front of her but a step behind both her parents. Some of the looks she got as people arrived were made to make her feel as if she was the lowest of the low. For some such as her Aunt Mary who had not brought little Emily with her gave her a disgusted look that hurt. Others such as her Aunt Beth, who she never cared for anyways, brought a smile to her face.

Beth knew from how some cousins were not brought over that her family was demonstrating how they felt about her. If she was Eric and had changed sex she guessed she may have felt the same way but she wasn't. She had always been a girl and had babysat or been babysat by a few of these women so being ostracized by them was uncomfortable. She was fully expecting one of her Aunts to bring up the matter and was actually surprised that her father brought it up instead.

"Thank you all for coming on this solemn occasion. As I'm sure more than a few of you are no doubt wondering who this young lady is. I will then introduce you all. This is our daughter Elizabeth. From what we can figure out she is NOT, and I repeat, NOT Eric. From what she has told us she has always been a girl. Well now a woman I guess. Anyways, although she does look very much like a female version of our missing son Eric she is apparently not one in the same."

He let that sink in for a minute or two before continuing "I have had the pleasure of watching her very closely along with her mother. She has displayed none of the knowledge or habits of Eric even though some of her tastes are similar. Believe me her appetite is much less than Eric's ever was." some chuckled at that.

"We do not yet know what has happened or why, neither does Elizabeth. However we are looking into the matter and will, hopefully, have a much better idea of what happened soon. Please treat our daughter as the woman she is and not as if she is Eric in a different form. I know that many of you have already hurt her far more than either Beverly or myself feel at all comfortable with and I would appreciate if you would apologize to Elizabeth. I repeat this is not her fault. Thank you." Her father finished by grabbing a small plate of the coldcuts and sat down on one of the chairs.

Beth had tears in her eyes at the love she felt for her father. It was a very brave thing to say in her defense. Her mother came over to hug her from the side as a show of her own support. The rest of the assembly was quiet except for the few children that had shown up. One little girl of maybe 2 years of age who could barely walk or understand anything really, broke the silence with a cry. The poor dear apparently thought she had done something bad and was crying because of it.

This broke the ice and people started to gather in small groups to mummer in conversation, no doubt about her. A few of the women she could see were using their cell phones to text someone. This puzzled her at first until more people came to the door. A few of her uncles came in with children in tow. This made Beth mad. It was like her family was treating her like a leper when they thought she was Eric and a transsexual. Beth was a little surprised and angered. She had never thought of her family as being bigots but apparently some were.

Beth had herself encountered a few transgendered people at university. She had never had any reaction to them either good or bad and had treated them as just another human being. If they were a boy becoming a girl she would treat them the same as any other girl, even if a few seemed to want more attention instead. Or if they were a girl becoming a guy the same as any other guy. She didn't understand them but she believed she didn't need to.

A few of her older cousins and Aunts did come to apologize, even though she didn't feel they really needed too in some cases, not a lot did. They were civil to her but remained less than warm to her. This was better than the open resistance of before but it still bothered her and apparently her mother. Her father did escort one of her uncles to the door but she did not really know why.

Much of the rest of the gathering was spent with idle chit chat. Two of her cousins of her own age group Amy and Stan talked with her about her experiences at University. She told many stories of her encounters there and more than a few giggles were exchanged as she told of the few eye opening encounters she had experienced. She found herself smiling a genuine smile from time to time as Amy told her of some of her own escapades as a secretary for a small business in the city. Stan popped jokes from time to time to make both girls either blush or giggle.

The trio had been chatting for awhile before her Aunt Jane came over. Aunt Jane was the unofficial head of the women's side of the family because she was the eldest daughter. She came over and did not really say anything but made a motion with her head that she wanted to speak privately with Beth. Beth excused herself to follow her Aunt into the kitchen. Her mother made a move to come with her but Beth just waved for her to stay there. Her Aunt used the side door into the garage Beth following behind her.

The garage was chilled even with the small heater going. The two women in their respected dresses or skirts had their heels click on the cement floor. Aunt Jane paced back and forth the hem of her black dress flickering back and forth as her arms were wrapped around herself. She was disturbed by something. Beth tried to not fidget in place as she waited with her legs freezing.

"At first I was going to berate you Eric. I still believe your Eric, you were born a boy and nothing will change that." Beth felt herself get angry at such a statement and was about to argue the fact that she was really female and had always been so.

"Let me finish please. This is more difficult than you can imagine." Beth fumed silently with a small grimace on her lips. She jerked her head in a nod for her aunt to continue. Her aunt switched to twisting her hands in and out of each other as her pacing increased.

"However I have also been observing you. At the funeral and even now. What I see and feel is that you are a woman completely. This is arguing with what my brain is screaming at me. I find myself angry at this. I do not know what to make of all this yet." She continue to pace while Beth lost some of her anger as puzzlement took over.

"When I look at you I see the young baby boy who peed all over me when I changed his diaper. Yet I also see a woman grown. Your father says you are not Eric, I have to agree with this. Yet you have to be Eric as you can't be anyone else. I do not know what to do with you. My responsibility is to the family. Part of me wants to open my arms to you and welcome you to the family but I do not know you." more hand twisting." And yet another part wants to yell and scream at you for the hurt you have caused to the family."

Beth stood saying nothing. In a sense she could understand her aunt. She was at war with herself. Her upbringing and her responsibility to the family warring with her instincts. Though Beth could not imagine why her aunt would have picked her up and brought her to her shoulder as a baby to pee all over her. Then Beth remembered that her aunt thought of her as a boy turned girl. As a young baby boy it would have been possible if she was close enough.

Her Aunt abruptly stopped her pacing and held out her hand. It was a sign of peace perhaps or an opening to something more.

"It has been a pleasure to meet you Elizabeth. I wish you do find out what happened to Eric. If you need help" she paused for a second or two. Beth could sense this was taking much out of her aunt" You can call me. I will see what I can do to help you if I can." With that she shook Beth's now outstretched hand before she hurried from the garage leaving Beth alone to alone to her troubled thoughts.

It was not the warm welcome she had hoped for but on the other hand she was not disowned from the family either. Her family may want to know what happened to Eric but Elizabeth now needed to know. What happened to her brother and more importantly where did she come from? She knew in her heart that this was her family and always had been but it was also the family of Eric's. Beth was still puzzling this over as her mother came to check on the now half frozen Beth in the garage. She admonished Beth for standing in the cold so dressed as she held her.

The rest of the family gathering did not last all that long. Beth helped her parents thank everyone as they exited for coming to the gathering. She got a number of hugs and a few kisses to her cheek causing her to giggle at the tickles that went with them, some of them intentional. It almost made her feel that things had returned to normal. One or two people were still distant as they bade their farewells but most were at least friendly about it.

When everyone had left her parents sent her up to her room to pack her things and change for the trip home. As she was changing her mother brought her now clean laundry including jeans for her to change into and pack. Her mother hugged her tightly and extracted a promise for her to not be such a stranger. Her father even tenderly knocked on the door before he was allowed in. Beth argued that she could carry her cases herself when her father just kissed her forehead saying it was his responsibility to his daughter to carry such luggage.

Her mother and father alternately hugged her and asked her if she was alright, along with yet another solemn promise to come back in 3 weeks for Christmas. She begged off their concerns saying she was alright. She did not tell them of the conversation in the garage but she did let them know things were fine with the family for now. Her mother pressed the leftover white cake from the gathering onto her. While it was against her diet she did accept it for her sorority sisters. With the few extra packages in her fathers arms she ran ahead to open the rear door for her father on the now running and warm diplomat.

She loved the love she felt from both her father and mother as they showed the concern they wanted her to take on the trip back to the city especially since it was already quite late. Beth was starting to sweat in her winter coat as they finally let her pull out of the driveway to be on her way. The car plenty warm. As she drove slowly out of town the smile on her face gradually drifted off to a grimace.

Her trip to her parents had not been what she had expected at all. While she did enjoy herself and seeing her family the revelation of Eric who she did not know was a definite sore point. One thing Elizabeth Tanner knew as she drove out from the streetlights onto the unlit highway. She may not believe she was ever Eric but she really needed to find out. She spent the rest of the long silent drive with only the vibration of the engine and the heater fan going. She did not notice the radio being off as her mind puzzled over the mystery of Eric Tanner.