Author's note: This one may hit close to home for some people be warned.

'I can't believe how nice this feels!'was my last rational thought.

I had come into Emily's house earlier this morning after mom dropped me off on her way to a half day of work. Samantha was home with dad while mom had to put in a half day. But for me it was off to a spa day. The first spa day, and hopefully last ever, I had ever had. Emily's house was different from other houses I had seen before. The first being that in the middle of the living room area was what looked like a hairdressers chair along with a full counter of various items that I cannot identify. The kitchen looks normal with its dinning room all in one thing. The counters are clean as well as the table. There is a chair that tilts back by the kitchen sink but its on some sort of wooden platform raising it's height.

The bathroom likewise seems normal as well. The first bedroom is an office of some sort with computers, two of them, as well as some other sound system and an actual filing cabinet. The big black cheap wood desk where the monitors sit on is covered with neat stacks of paper.

The second bedroom, where I was led looks like your typical older woman's bedroom. Vanity table made of brass and glass, black dresser with a large oval mirror on it, There is even another full length mirror in chrome on the floor. Black closet doors with one opened to reveal a profession women's wardrobe of suits, both skirt and pant suits, a few dresses professional of course. There is room in that side on the hanger where my garment bag now sits. She had me change out of my clothes into a white satin or silk robe that does not come far down my thighs.

My hair, although not long for a girl, was released from its plain elastic prison at the bottom of my neck. I was lead from the bedroom to the basement where I was put on a table in a small wooden room. She removed my robe after having me lay down and put that outside. She removed her robe to reveal a sexy one piece bathing suit. I got really bad ideas that had junior trying to react into the table I was laying on. It was a little painful as he was pointed straight down at the time.

The room turned out to be a steam room that quickly filled up with steam which I found relaxing. She rubbed oil into my skin after letting me sit for a few minutes in peace, thank god. The oil was slightly fragrant but not really and she rubbed while giving me a massage that quickly turned all my muscles to jelly. Emily is very good this. She never once tried to pry into what had happened or even made a fuss over it. I believe she was trying to get me to forget about it all actually. Instead she told me her story.

She said she was like me, that lost me for a bit actually it wasn't until later when it was far to rude to correct her that I understood. She had come from a middle class working family. Her father and older brother ran a business building homes for people. Custom homes, not houses I didn't know there was a difference... right shut up, that to her work works of art in themselves. When you walked into one, which she did from a young age, it was instantly warm. Her mother was the interior decorator who did all the furnishings and little things so that when a couple moved in it was like coming home.

It was a successful if small business that employed maybe 10 people full time and subcontracted another 40ish small businesses. Her older brother and sister had gone to college with courses specifically for helping build the family business. It was expected that she would follow in the footsteps and join the labor force after highschool doing the actual building of the houses to make a man out of her. Emily had other ideas. When she was young she had accompanied her mother to a salon where her mother got pampered. The look of her mother at the end had so enthralled her that at her young age she wanted to one day be a cosmetologist.

For years she studied every scrap of information, makeup magazines and books, various skin treatment options and so forth. I can tell you she really knows what she is doing. At a young age she even helped her older sister, in secret, get ready for her prom with a home based massage and oiling, much like what she was doing to me. I did wonder why they wanted a girl to go into manual labor when she was obviously much better at doing more feminine stuff. It was then she told me that she was born male. What little excitement I had was gone in a second. Not from disgust but shock. Emily was the first transsexual I had ever met and until she told me I would have never guessed.

She told me that growing up had been hard as she tried very hard to be the boy her family expected. She admitted to even bullying any weird children in school even though it hurt her so bad inside. It was something her family expected. She did go to university on scholarship from highschool instead of working building houses. She learned to do virtual designs of the houses by programming it all into the computer. She even set up such a system at her families small office for customers to see the finished product.

During university she tried hard to date other women to the point she even convinced herself she was in love with a woman that she set up a fancy dinner just to propose. She says she totally screwed it up from the first moment when her, then girlfriend, walked in in a dress to die for. She complimented her on the dress and let slip she loved it so much she wished she had one. During the following dinner she could not take her eyes off the dress and realized at the end of the dinner that she was not in love with her girlfriend but in love with the way she dressed and looked.

She says it was the beginning of the bad times for her. She went to a psychologist about the problem she had. After 5 sessions she found out that she was really a she trapped in a man's body. The thing was she had learned to deny herself over the years and had hid it. She walked away from that doctor thinking her was nuts. The next 4 therapists and doctors came to the same conclusion and helped her to peel off the male costume a piece at a time. She did manage to finish her university degree in design with a minor in small business management. Her elective courses were all makeup and or cosmetology but nobody but her knew about them.

She had convinced her family to allow her to apprentice under a well know firm for 5 years. Which she did but in another city far from home. While she was in the city she came out of the closet and after 8 months started to live as herself. She calls it transitioning. After 3 years she had saved enough and got her surgery done to correct her birth defect, as she calls it. She never told her family what she had done nor did she tell them about her legal name and gender change. By the time she did return home she was scared but she went anyways. It was to a family barbeque with there above ground pool. She had come dressed androgynously as she could with her limited wardrobe of clothes that could belong to a guy no makeup or jewelry or even had her, now long hair, in a low ponytail.

She said that walking out of the childhood home in a bikini that left no doubt as to her gender was the hardest thing she ever did. The reaction she got was even worse. I felt the tears on my back as she told me. Her brother and father got very upset. She was yelled at before her brother manhandled her removing her bikini with force. Not to embarrass her but to see with his own eyes that she really was completely female now. He had apparently thought it was some trick. Her family covered her up as soon as possible and rushed her into the house before someone else saw her. Her mother and sister performed a examination of her at close range.

The family let her dress in chosen male clothing for her to wear before they rushed her to a hospital for the mentally insane. It took her months to convince the people at the hospital that she was not only sane but should be free from harming herself. She believed that her family would not hurt her. When she was released in a dress her family turned and walked away from her. They did meet with her one last time via a lawyer who informed her that unless she was willing to return to being male she was legally disowned from the family and even requested that she legally change her last name.

I can tell it was hard for her to say that too me as the sobs and tears were hard. Still she continued. Her family made sure to ruin her chances of returning to firm or even seeking a job in the field. This did not really bother her too much as she found a salon that she could work at. Within a year she even bought out the owner who was retiring. She worked hard and built up the business from a salon into a spa. The spa itself became even more of a success and she had to employ more and more people.

Eventually however her former family found out, or more specifically her brother. It was her brother who one day barged into the spa and confronted her infront of all the employees and customers. He called her by her male name and yelled at her to get serious help as she was a guy and always would be a guy. Although the police came and charged her brother with verbal assault nothing was really done to him.

The business took a turn for the worst though as less and less people came by. It was 4 months later that her then business manager Patty had offered to buy the business from her under the understanding that if she laid low for 6 months until it all blew over she would sell the business back to her. She agreed that it was best for the business and did just that. For 6 months she took an online course in professional makeup along with a few updated cosmology courses. Her business flourished and she would watch from afar as to how well it was doing.

6 months later when the business was to open it's second location she went back to Patty to take over her business. It was a surprise when she showed up at the meeting to see a lawyer sitting with Patty. When she sold the business to Patty it was done under a verbal agreement that was not witnessed. Because of that she was informed that there was no proof when Emily demanded that Patty return the business as per their agreement. She even pleaded that she would accept to be the owner of the second location. In the end Emily was left with nothing. Her savings that she had lived on for the last 6 months were all but gone. She ended up losing her house at the time as she had to sell it off.

The few items she still had from her spa were now in her house her in our town. They were older models from when the spa was really a salon but they were hers and she had moved them from the storage locker with her when she moved across country to here. She is quite happy being a simple hairdresser part time while also working part time for the town municipal office.

It was a very sad and heartbreaking story. At the end I knew I should tell her that I was not really a male to female transsexual but my throat was all closed up from unshod tears. She had also waxed me everywhere but my face. So maybe some of the tears were from that as well. She put some masks on my face. Mud mask first followed by an egg white mask. Then some herbal stuff. All the while she talked more. She was afraid of telling anyone she was trans till she had seen me on tv one night.

She told me how brave I was and how happy she was for me that my family was so understanding. When she had seen me last night her heart went out to me and for the first time in a long time for her she offered to give me a spa day. She even got excited about it. I could tell that her spa that she lost was her dream. She seems determined to one day reopen a spa here. She told me she had only begun to think about it after seeing how well things were going for me. To her I was an inspiration that maybe here she can live her dream without her past hurting her.

I had no idea how I was gonna tell her I was a guy!

Lil Jacilynn pushed herself away from her laptop and shed tears for the character she had just wrote about. She couldn't believe how hard it was to type that.

With her black embroidered dress hung up in her closet, her little bit of makeup removed via a cleansing pad. She crawled into her bed in her nightie. She fell asleep with the almost kiss that had occurred as Bradly dropped her off in front of her house, well his parents did but he walked her to the door. She had waited hoping he would lean forward but he looked really embarrassed as soon as his dad honked the horn. In her mind the honk never occurred and the longed for kiss that would have made it a date happened.