Another Side of My Life
Chapter 4
by Julie D Cole
Then he turned to me and said ‘Since I told you this is my sister Debbie and not some girlfriend how about you tell me a bit about this fiancé of yours?’
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He took me back a bit and I must have looked surprised. So he followed up and asked how long I’d been engaged. I just said the first thing that came into my head and told him ‘ 3 months.’

‘Really? Not so long then? I doubt the shine has worn off yet in that case.’

I didn’t know for sure what he meant. I decided he was probably testing my reaction.
Was he interested in me? Was I coming over as available to him because I’d agreed to stay at his place?

I nervously said ‘ Well we’ve known each other a long time and our friends are engaged. His name is Chris and we’ve been close friends for years since. In fact we were in early school together. ’

I was panicking so I thought about a friend who I had known since early school and at least I had the basis of an explanation. In fact we are still friends even though we don’t see each other much nowadays. But he wouldn’t let go.

‘What’s he like then this lucky fellow?’

I tried to keep the story going as best as I could and wished he would change the subject.
‘Well we were friends but he didn’t take much notice of me because he was more interested hanging around with his gang of boys. They all grew up together and I was just on the fringe since I wasn’t one of the guys.’ Mmm that was true in fact. I wasn’t one of the regular guys as much as I’d tried.

‘Does that mean you chased him rather than hang around with the girls then?’ There was some truth in that since I was trying to ensure Chris stayed as my friend and the girls at school weren’t unfriendly. They weren’t cruel to me like the boys were at least.

‘Well I liked him because he was good at everything he did and he was respected by everybody. I think he tested his jokes out on me and sought my opinion on what he was wearing or how well he’d played. He tried to include me but his friends would tease him if he spend time alone with me. Most of the girls fancied him.’

He stood up and reached over me to top up my wine glass. He put his finger under my chin and lifted my face and smiled.

‘Poor little Julie. You had the hots for him then? A bit of a looker is he?’

I tried not to look in his eyes but he didn’t remove his finger until I looked up at him. Jack had wonderful eyes and a more rugged look than Chris. He had a slightly crooked nose that gave him a tougher appearance that might have been the result of a fight sometime. He looked like he hadn’t shaved for a few days but maybe that was deliberate. For a few moments I was unable to move and I must have looked a little bit helpless because he suddenly said sorry. Then he moved his hand away and stepped back and returned to his seat.

I spoke again because he was staring at me with a very inquisitive look on his face.
‘He’s fashionable and he is not big headed or vain so I grew to like him a lot.’
‘Mmm I can see what finally attracted his attention. You have a different look to the girls I normally meet and a sexy husky voice. I wish I’d met you before you were engaged just to give him some competition.’

I felt embarrassed and my face was burning so I looked to the ground and then excused myself to visit the bathroom. My legs were like jelly as I walked and I felt awkward in case he was staring. Should I leave now in case he tried to get fresh with me. I’d never really appreciated how scary, yet exiting it was for someone to come on to you.

I closed the bathroom door and locked it. I looked at the window wondering if I should try to climb out and escape. I looked in the mirror and I was very flushed but I was sure he still thought I was a girl despite my lack of experience and my nervous responses to his questions.

I thought about Chris and then about Jack. I hoped Chris never find out I was talking like this about him. I doubted that Jack would try to take advantage of me but if he did and he found out my secret I wondered how he might react.

He was not so good looking as Chris but no doubt they were both very popular and I guess I did start to wonder about myself standing in front of the mirror comparing two men. I did like the attention I’d received from both of them but Chris was just a friend who took care of me.

I freshed up a little and tried to make my hair less dishevelled. It would be great to have it styled properly because it still looked quite boyish. Was that why Jack liked me because I looked boyish? Was he attracted to me because of my husky masculine voice and because I might have a boy/girl appearance.

I plucked up the courage to return and took a sip of wine remembering to lick the edge of my glass to avoid leaving lippy smudges.

Jack spoke again and said he’d been thinking. ‘Is he your man then through thick or thin to spend the rest of your life with?’

This wasn’t a conversation I’d expected to be having during this trip and how on earth had I gotten into this situation? How to unfold it and return to my plan of some shopping and sightseeing and some freedom to walk and breathe as Julie?

‘I guess I aren’t so sure yet to be perfectly honest.’

Oh my God why did I have to say such a stupid thing. He would surely get the wrong impression now. I might end up being beaten and left in a backstreet somewhere. How could I be so stupid.

‘Well at least your honest and perhaps you aren’t ready for marriage. How come he hasn’t called you and how come you haven’t tried to call him.’

I had to distract him away from his fixation about Chris.

‘Well Jack in truth we had an argument last weekend over one of his former girlfriends so I told him I needed to get away for a while. I almost gave him back his ring but a friend told me it was mine whatever happened.

Luckily the phone rang and Jack excused himself and answered it. I was relieved and felt this was my chance to say I wanted to get ready for bed. He chatted for a while and I stood up as he came back.

‘It’s sis making arrangements for the weekend. She’d love to meet you and said she was delighted that I’d finally found a girlfriend. She asked if we had a steady relationship.’
‘I hope you didn’t tell her we had.’

‘Of course I didn’t. I ignored the question to keep her guessing.’

It was my change to go to bed and Jack apologised for all the nosey questions but he felt that he’d like to know more about me.’

I cleared away the glasses and the empty wine bottle and cleaned them and put them to dry.
He thanked me for helping him and said it must have been his lucky day. I was grateful to him for helping me so I just said ‘You’re very welcome.’
He showed me to my bedroom and then as I turned to say goodnight he shocked me by holding my hand and squeezing it gently.
I turned to him and as we looked at each other neither of us seemed to want to move. He didn’t kiss me as I thought he was going to do but he did put his forehead gently to mine as a sign of affection and just said goodnight.

As I closed the bedroom door I leaned back against it. Phew that was close. I had to be careful and maybe I should leave early before he woke up and just leave him a note. But if so then how to get past him with my suitcase?

I waited until I thought he might have gone from the otherside of the door and then used the bathroom before changing into a nightdress that I’d been longing to wear. I had a matching dressing gown and some slippers that I’d bought the weekend before. I laid the gown on the bed and slipped in underneath the duvee. I turned off the light and then wondered if I needed to lock the door. I decided not to and closed my eyes to try to go to sleep.

What a day that had been. I wondered how long I could keep up this appearance and then all I could think of was first Jack and then Chris. Was I gay or something? What had happened to me?

Chris had found a steady girlfriend so we didn’t see much of each other. I was a bit envious of her since he took her everywhere with him and he spoiled her a lot. I’d given up calling him after a while because he was always at her home .So I guess we had drifted apart and I never really had other friends because all his friends weren’t so keen on me because I was too quiet.

I was upset a lot at the time because I’d always admired Chris because he was fun to be with and he’d been asked to watch out for me by his mum who I really liked. Our parents knew each other since before we were born. Chris didn’t mind at first but then I started to get in the way a bit and would stop him from doing stupid things with his other friends.

Finally he’d really hurt me by telling me to get out of his face and stop acting like his girlfriend. I remember it was such a shock that I’d locked myself in a cubicle in the bathroom crying. I was still obviously very upset when I arrived home but I wouldn’t tell mum what had happened. The next few days I’d tried to avoid him but eventually he cornered me in the locker room apologised. I forgave him of course.

On the other hand Jack was nothing like Chris. He was a mans man for sure but with a touch of femininity and I did wonder if he might have been attracted to me because he had no partner or steady girlfriend or if he was the type of guy who regularly picked up girls and wouldn’t commit.

It seemed like whenever I thought about Jack I had a butterfly feeling in my stomach. Why was he so interested? I was getting nervous so what if he crept into my room in the middle of the night. I decided to get out of bed and move a chair behind the door like in the old films. Not much of a barrier but at least a few seconds early warning if he did.

I couldn’t fall to sleep easily. The curtains were thin and some lights were flashing.
I decided not to be so stupid and got out of the bed to put the chair back where it had been.

It must have been an hour at least before I fell to sleep. I found myself thinking about how much I’d enjoyed myself working with Jack and decided I’d stay and help him. Hopefully I’d meet his sister anyway and that might mean I could feel more safe.

To be continued ……………..