Bridges 19

Chapter 19

I wake up slowly feeling spent but good. Last night was another hard one but at the same time I’m so grateful to have Cass and Brandon. I slowly sit up in bed and I’m alone in my bedroom. I see the early morning sunshine drifting in through the window. I heard Cass banging around and talking with Jenny in the kitchen and I can smell the hints of coffee starting to waft through the air. I lie back a few minutes and smile. I think she took the day off for me. I smile and kind of can’t help myself as the sheets smell of Brandon and of Cass both. I roll over from one side of the bed to another stopping at each of their pillows to hug it and pull it into a two armed hug while I bury my face in them and inhale just sort of do that girly leg lifting smiling because as bad as it was last night it’s still better than I ever though I’d have.

That I can smell this, grab these pillows and hug them, that I’ve got people around me now that love me and care about me. I’m really, really happy this morning. I roll off the side of the bed and kind of hurry to the bathroom and take my meds while I go through the necessaries I take a hot shower and slip into a set of my favorite navy blue panties and was going to get dressed the rest of the way when I see her Mountie shirt on the floor. I can’t help but smile.

*Cass’s Part…

Brandon was the first one up and he moved really carefully and quietly for a big guy. He leaned over and tenderly kissed her on the forehead then softly on her lips. I’ve got so many mixed feelings about him. Honestly he’s a guy unlike any I’ve ever met and if I could sleep with men he’d be right there at the top of my list. I stare at him and smile and he kisses me too. Sweet and soft and gentle, we…I might be a lesbian but Brandon get’s that and we’ve got this weird connection where we’re not lovers but there’s stuff we’ve gone through and I love him, not like a friend, not like a brother but something else entirely and yet…He gets me and Sam and that I’m head over heels in love with her. I love her so much that I don’t get weirded out by her not being a girl all the way…yet.

He breaks the kiss with a whispered “Later.” and he slips off to the bathroom and showers. I go back to sleep for another half an hour before the need to pee gets me up. I take a shower and steal one of her army green tank shirts and those green cotton army panties. It’s kind of a turn on to wear these, to see her in them. I’ve always had a thing for the look of these on a military girl and honestly I’ve always thought military girls were sexy as hell. Her top doesn’t really fit my breasts and it’s got this almost tank top thing going on leaving my midriff exposed. Sam’s still in slumber-land by the time I head downstairs. I only get the PTSD thing from stuff other cops have been through and just stuff I’ve been exposed to. Seeing Sam going through this, being there fore this. It’s hard, there sometimes that I’m so scared for her and of what might be going on in her head. But I’ll take real over pretty any day.
I kiss the back of her neck because she’s all messy haired face down between the pillows in a way that just makes my heart ache. I head downstairs to find Jenny and Lacey who’ve been cooking up a storm and packing things into folding bakery boxes and fastening them with stickers of the Canadian flag that say we love our troops.

I eat a couple of the best peanut butter cookies I’ve ever had and start making coffee using Sam’s Tim Horton’s perk blend and I’m just having my first cup when I see Sam walk in….

My breath catches in my throat and my hand nearly drops my coffee cup. Sam slinks towards me in these hot, navy blue panties tucked so she looks all girl yummy and even more make my pussy ache yummy is Sam wearing my uniform shirt with just or rather only two buttons done up and her breasts are so perfectly bouncing under the blue fabric and her nipples are poking into the fabric…

She walks to me and takes my hand and the coffee cup and she takes a drink from it and then kisses me. “Good morning beautiful.” she croons at me…then kisses me pressing her breasts against mine and between that and the kissing. My nipples ache and suddenly I’m too hot in my skin. I can’t help but to kiss her back and when I do she steps backwards but wraps her arms around me and pulls me with her.

“C’mon Let’s go back to…bed…I’m still a little…tired.” She drags out bed and tired in this haltingly sexy way and I’ve been with a few people but I’ve ever seen someone do this sexy walk, slink, wiggle thing backwards. There’s a click I didn’t notice before and a quick glance down treats me to Sam wearing four inch heels that increase the ow of want in me.

I’ve got this sexy tall blonde with shower tousled hair and she’s got her arms draped around my neck like we were dancing, wearing my police blue shirt just loose and draping her and those sex panties and ….

We kiss all the way upstairs and we kiss deeply and passionately and we kiss slowly, I’ve never had a partner a lover like Sam. I’ve never been so softly kissed on my lips that she almost pulls on my lips like when your lover gently bites you lip and pulls but this is just as sexy, less aggressive, and tender. Just with her kissing and her lips pull away but pulling on me like she was tasting me.

She get’s us going down the hall and the kisses and the faint soft whispery drag of her lips go along my jaw line, to my ears. She nuzzles and nibbles my ears and I’m hurting I’m that horny, My panties are soaked more than anyone’s ever done. She pulls me to our room and guides me to the bed and presses me to the bed post as she’s now kissing me like the on my face to my ear and her fingers are running through my hair with one hand and she’s running her finger of the other hand over my lips, I close my eyes and…two tears slide down my face as Sam’s touch turns into a kiss.

No one touches me like this. No one touches my heart and soul like this. Sam’s lips kiss and slide down my shoulder until they push the tank top’s strap off my shoulder. Then she tugs it off with her other hand and it slides slithers down my body.

Sam’s back to kissing me but it goes from deep and passionate and from that to deep passionate French kissing. Her hands come up and cup my breasts and she doesn’t squeeze but pushes against me, making them bulge under her fingers as her hands slowly yet gently turn one way than the other and back again and then she gently kneads them with her fingers still turning her hands as she releases my breasts and the palms of her hands grind softly over my nipples. I have to reach behind my back and hang onto the bed post. That just encourages Sam to lower her mouth to my breasts and kisses them.

I mean she Kisses them.

You know those romantic kisses that feel so good your hearts racing and they leave you breathless? Those movie kisses where the camera spins around you and your lover like the world spinning around you. She doing that, kissing my breasts like than and I sob as my insides tighten up and one of her hands rubs my swollen sex through my…her panties and I climax, orgasm, and whatever you want to call my body crying out in ecstasy that matches the feeling in my soul.

Sam’s hands move me to the bed and she lays me down and she keeps driving me to panting cries as she keeps making love to my breasts and rubbing me off onto I lose my little bits of control I had. And My hips roll as I ride her hand and she takes me over the edge with the attention to my breasts and then there’s the teasing whispery touches of her hair feathering over my skin and the touch of my uniform shirt that’s now unbuttoned and it and the tips of her breasts drive me deeper and deeper into being just hers…I’ve never had a lover as good as Sam, one that was so romantic and sexy and so more about being there for me instead of me being the Cop and the strong one.

My soldier girl really shows me how to be a real woman, to feel like a woman reaching that height of passion and love. My hands pound helplessly at the bed and I cry as she comes up and rests her weight on her arms and her breasts press into mine so…so perfectly and she takes it right over the edge by holding my face in both of her hands and she Kisses me. God it feels like she’s kissing me forever and not enough and leaves me gasping for air as she breaks the kiss and slides down my body and kisses my sex through the soaked, super soaked panties.

Sam drives me insane as she nibbles and nuzzles and suckles at my flesh as she doesn’t just pull my panties off but rolls them slowly down off of my hips and does all those things to my exposed skin.

I swear she bite, gets her mouth into me like I’m a peach. My juices squirt in that bite, I arch and cry out heart hammering in my chest as juices run out the side of her mouth. I writhe and climb the sheets rather than the walls and cry out over and over as She makes love to me then inches her way back up my body and lifts my by my legs and bottom more firmly onto the bed. She grabs some of this lube that she keeps for you know and she rubs it on her hands, her breasts giving me a bit of a show and then on mine. Sam lowers herself over me and slides Jane into me and I cry out at that. I’m sort of used to it now and toys before than but I’m so sex wired now it’s a surge of ecstasy. It’s the strangest part of things the fact that I’m loving Sam’s Jane and the.. the.. the stroking how hard and hot she is but I’m a lesbian….and then there’s the blissful effect, beyond blissful effect of her lovemaking making our breasts bounce but not just bounce but with the lube they’re slipping and sliding and caressing each other in this super Sapphic way.

My orgasms, three very, very close together are the best I’ve ever had and by the time my senses return Sam’s panting on top of me kissing me slowly and softly. I smile just a little out of it, that goofy sweet trying to pull my brains back together smile. I kiss with her a few more times and roll us over and start kissing her back in earnest and rubbing my now slick body against her own. Then sliding down to take her Jane into my mouth. I’m not very experienced at doing this and Sam’s not experienced at receiving this and yet it’s good. It’s very good and soon my fingers are sliding into her and massaging her little yay happy spot as she creams herself for me.

We could’ve just stayed in bed all day. I smile and grin as I come up and we kiss some more. “We should get cleaned up honey and downstairs to help. Lacey and Jenny have been working pretty hard and if we get stuff done I’ll be able to go with you and make a day trip out of it.”

I loved the way her eyes lit up when it because an us day. I love everything about her and then some. I look at her all sweaty and flushed and messy slipping out of bed and into the bathroom and it hits me like I’ve been shot. I want to marry this girl. I want her to be my wife. I just laid there for a few minutes staring at the bathroom doorway and hearing the water start running for the shower. Going through that thing you know that you go through when you realize that you’re that much in love with that person you want to get married to them.

“You coming Cass?”

“Yeah be right there.”

I head into the bathroom thinking about how sure I am about everything about how much I’m falling for Cass and how much this is going to…what are we…what am I going to do about Brandon and Sam.

*Brandon’s part…

Cass called me last night and told me what had gone on with Sam having a PTSD moment at the station last night. I came over and spent the night with Cass and her again. I like Cass and this is what it is but there’s a part of me that just want’s to keep Sam tom myself. I don’t want to be an asshole. I come from a family of selfish asshole pretty much and kind grew up went to high school with enough of them It’s really pushed me to be different.

I love them both and I’m close to both of them but I’m in love with Sam. I could be in love with Cass too but I’m scared or have been scared to look too closely at those feelings. A straight guy in love with a lesbian girl, not a great recipe for a love story.

I left them alone together as I kind of almost feel I have to do. They both say that I shouldn’t duck out on them but there’s only so much third wheel that someone can take right?

That’s one of the good things about having horses. I can talk to them. They’re rescue horses so they can use all the soothing voice work that they can get and here’s always all the rest of the chores to help me think and to get my mind off of things at the same time. I like chopping and piling wood or moving hay around for the really heavy thinking. Actually the really heavy feelings that make most of us do something stupid. I’ve found if you can burn or work through those feelings you get a much better view on stuff in your life.

It’s kind of why I’ve turned the old ranch into an organic farm. I’ve got a nice greenhouse that I raise sprouts and micro-greens and it’ll start my plants for the spring. I raise game birds like turkey and pheasant but also chicken for both meat and free range organic eggs, I raise rabbits here for meat too and keep a few goats and a few pigs out by the back barn that are going to be mostly food animals. Ryan’s still here and he might stay until he get’s his next assignment. We’re building a smokehouse and have been slowly cutting and clearing a trail for hiking and the horses here at the back of the property.

I’ve worked a lot over in Asia and I’ve learned a lot of good practical stuff between all the places. I’ve thought about it all morning and I’ve come up with I’ll just have to be myself and try to find my own path with Sam in my life. There’s no point in causing the drama that could be over this. I’m not a drama kind of guy. I don’t think Cass or Samantha are either.

*Sam’s part…

Cass and I shower together and I’m feeling good, better than good and the shower is just what I’ve needed after such a great morning. It’s even better and so loving and sensual as we wash each other, soap each other up and wash each others breasts and hair and kiss and kiss and kiss.

Getting dressed I slip into my deep green Jezebelle lacey stuff and a nice comfortable pair of jeans and an armed forces t-shirt and grab my id’s and my field jacket. I pack an overnight bag and my uniform just in case and then go and help the girls.

Holy…

It almost breaks my heart in a good way as there’s a six foot pile of boxes of baked goods from us to the guys and girls on duty overseas. Bobby and Steve are there carefully loading the boxes into boxes and putting them in my truck. I hug them and kiss them on the cheeks, the Lacey and Jenny.

“Oh wow…Oh wow…Guys…This is huge. Do you know how much this’ll mean to them over there?” I’m wiping away tears, but it doesn’t help when I see not just some of the baked goods but the fact there’s gingerbreads, shortbread cookies, and plain white sugar cookies decorated for Christmas. I cry some more hugging them all and I join in decorating some more for them and Jenny’s having a blast teaching all of us this stuff and we’re having just as much fun too but from the other side of things. The three of us other girls haven’t really done this near enough. It was home economics for Lacey and Cass and me…I haven’t done this since I was…

Since I was mom’s little girl.

The flashback hits sort of hard sort of not and I’m leaning on the counter hugging myself tears running down my face and I’m crying. I zoned out of it for awhile and I kind of blink clear. Cass pulls me to a chair and kneels in front of me and Lacey and Jenny on either side and Cass holds my face. “Are you okay Sam? You were gone there….” The look on her face the concern for me is written all over her face.

“Yeah, I mean yes I’m okay. I’m better than now I guess.”

“Better than? You zoned right out on us hon and you were crying.”

“I had a flashback. With all of this going on I had a flash back of doing this with my mom right here in this kitchen when I was like four or five. Before we moved and all the abuse happened in church.”

“So that’s a good thing then?” Lacey asks rubbing my back.

“Yeah, I was Mom’s special little girl.” I reach up and squeeze Lacey’s hand in mine.

Jenny makes me a coffee and we all get back to work making all the cookies and everything. Cass has me sitting down a few minutes and after a bit of that I go into the living room and put a call into to my doctor/shrink. I leave her with a sort of verbal blurb about what happened and that I’ll e-mail her or PM her with the details later but I’m still sorting out all the details in my head.

I go back into the kitchen and sit down and keep on helping to decorate the cookies. I do up a box of firefighter snoopy dogs and Woodstock smoke jumpers for the guys and girls at dad’s old firehouse and there’s some cookie leftovers so I take a box of them over to Brandon’s place. It takes me awhile to find him but he’s there in his office talking on the phone. He’s talking for a few more minutes and I just take the time to look around his office. He’s got all of his knick-knacks out and he’s got tons of pictures out and in frames and stuff. He’s really been all over the place and I kind of like the way he looks dressed in one of those Chinese tunics with his hair in a tight braid he’s with a bunch of monks in that one. He’s got some really amazing pictures too. There’s one a night from a small boat of what could be Hong Kong?

I get kind of lost in it until I feel him come up behind me and wrap me up in those rock hard arms of his that feel so good. I lean back into him and enjoy the super solid feeling of him there and that smell. Brandon’s smell.

They say scent is a visceral thing and this always does something to me, does something for me. First he has this scent on him of leather, then there’s hints of horse but also of sweet hay and fresh earth. Wood scent like sawdust and sometimes the scent of spruce gum too all blending in with the scent of man. I can even smell hints of Old Spice too it’s all he uses for aftershave and his soap, he has one of those deodorant stones in his bathroom. I know I’ve checked it out.

Brandon’s that guy that uses the cup and brush and a straight razor still to shave. Again me being nosey he’s got a collection of straight razors. I’m not going to go there with that because he collects records and guitars too.

“Hey beautiful what’s up?” he purrs into me. I love the feel of that male vocal vibration against me. He kisses my neck and nuzzles it there’s this just right bit of scratchy scruff there. I sigh and lean back further and kiss him over my shoulder and turn that into slowly turning around. I break the long kiss and lean back letting his grip hold me there like a chair.

“I brought you and Ryan some Cookie leftovers. Me and the girls are going to head out and I’m going to drop these off at Commox to get shipped out to the guys and girls over in Afghanistan.”

“Sounds good, these smell good too.” He takes them from me and gives me another kiss. Then looks at me. “So you have plans when you get back?”

“Well I’m planning on going from Commox to Vancouver with the girls so we can make a Christmas shopping trip out of it. We might even stay the night.”

“Doesn’t Cass have to work tomorrow?”

“Aw, shit and she’s been off for too long as it is.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll come down and pick her up in time for her to get to work. That way you two get to chill and shop together and then after you get back you can come with me this weekend?”

“Sure! What’s going on this weekend?”

“I’m part of this motorcycle rally that for the toys for tots program we start further up the coast and then we drive down the highway collecting donations and toys for kids and then end the ride in Vancouver at hand the stuff over to the charity.”

“I’m definitely in. You guys do a lot of charity rides?”

“Not lately but where there’s more of us around we’re planning on it.”

“Okay, I’m going to head off handsome and fill Cass in on the plan.”

He walks me to my door and gives me this long deep kiss that has me kind of panting and starting to ache for him. He smiles at me making me blush and bite my lip and he kisses me again and again and again damn it that last one his hands slid over my body, cupping my breasts just a little then letting go teasingly and then down to my butt and he used it to lift me off the ground a bit and for just a little while. My leg does that reflexive girl curl thing.

God I love him.

He heads back over to get back to work but not before just watching me and walking backwards for a bit.

I head in and see Cass sipping a coffee on the windowsill. “I take it he liked the cookies?” she asks raising and eyebrow as she takes a sip. I fill her in about him volunteering to come and pick her up and to bring her back in time for work. She gives me this look. “I’m not sure if I should go. I mean it’s mostly going to be you at the base then more driving over to Vancouver.”

I look at her. I’m not sure if she’s just being practical or she really doesn’t feel like going or if there’s something else going on?

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah honey, I’m sure. I spend too much time on the road anyways so I’m just going to tidy up throw on the laundry and get things ready for work tomorrow. You girls go, hit the town, take Jenny out into the wild world and stuff. Go shopping and take your time getting back.”

She even kisses me and helps us get everything packed Bobby and Steve put the cap onto my truck and I kiss them and there’s three dozen cookies each we set aside just for them. Cass walks me to the truck and kisses me a few times up against the door as the girls get in. “You sure you don’t want to come with us?”

Cass shakes her head no. “No I’m good here. You have a good time. She heads back inside the house and I get in the truck and drive out. Lacey looks over to me and asks.

“So what was that all about? What’s going on with you and with Cass?”

I sigh and take the turn that’ll take me out of town and as I cross the Bridge out of town I sigh again and shake my head. “Honestly Lacey, I’m not really sure.”