At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 27 Dinner discussions

I was taken aback for a few moments and I looked across at Julie who was sitting next to Gary. Her eyes fixed with mine and I could sense her saying ‘be careful’.
I said ‘Of course but as long as it’s not too personal at the dinner table.’

He looked at Julie then turned to me and said in a quiet voice ‘Chrissy I hope that you don’t mind me asking but did you deliberately adopt the style and look of your Aunt Judith to try to please your Gran or is it just a co-incidence?

The way he’d been so serious had given me the impression that he was going to ask something else and I’m sure Julie thought exactly the same. I breathed a sigh of relief and I just wanted to laugh but I managed to say ‘No, why do you ask?’

He told me that it seemed to upset Julie that Gran never made a fuss of us both and he felt that the problem was related to something that we might have done to her when we were young.
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Mum interjected and said that neither of us were at fault and that her mums problems were all to do with a guilt complex over something that happened prior to the untimely accident when Aunt Judith was killed.. Gran had never gotten over it but mum hoped that the visit tonight and seeing such a likeness between Aunt Judith and I might release the hurt inside her. She was sure that had happened.

Sally was all ears by this time but she said nothing.

Then Gary said ‘I’m sorry Mrs Taylor but I didn’t mean to interfere or be nosey but I just felt that Julie and Chrissy had missed out a lot and I didn’t know about Aunt Judith.
The subject was dropped and we all cleared the dishes and the leftovers that seemed to be almost as much as we started with.

I helped mum to wash the dishes whilst Sally tidied up. Julie and Gary were excused duties so it gave mum and I chance to chat a little.

Mum asked me how I felt and if I regretted anything during this last week. She wantedto know how I felt about hers and Grans separate reactions when they saw me.

I said that as each day passed by I was feeling as if I’d always been a girl and that I had different feelings than before and wanted to mix with people rather than to hide away as I’d done before. I felt that the reaction from Mum and Gran had convinced me that I had made the right decision and I was extremely flattered that I appeared to look like Aunt Judith.

Then I asked mum to tell me what she was like and if they had been close as sisters or if they argued. She told me about some of the fun times they’d had and how dad had always fancied Judith that made mum jealous but that mostly he was teasing. At school they’d both done well but Judith had been the smartest and had gone on to university where she’d met someone very special. He was the most handsome man in the world according to mum and Judith never stopped talking about him.

At the same time mum had gone to the local college and ended up meeting dad and falling in love and then they’d both found jobs locally whereas Aunt Judith was wanting to live and work in London.

I asked mum what happened to upset Gran so much but she wouldn’t say anymore so I switched the subject to sally and our weekend away.

Then she asked me about my relationship with Sally because she’d hoped that I would marry one day like she hoped Julie would do so then she’d have grand children to look after.

I said that I hoped I didn’t disappoint her but that my feelings for Sally were different and that we were really good friends but that I’d not had any male feelings towards her. But I’d no idea where the relationship might go.

I did realize that Sally and I had moments of passion and that she had strong feelings towards me and was more likely to take the lead than me. She was teaching me a few things about her sensitive points and how to arouse her. I liked to make her feel special and I realized that she was trying to explore with me too.
Sally came into the kitchen so we decided to make tea and go through to the lounge. Mum had one last through the album and stuck the photo of me on a fresh page along with one of her photos of Aunt Judith.

After we finished the tea I went upstairs with Sally to select some things to pack for our trip to Birmingham and she said that she would go around to Jessicas flat tomorrow afternoon to pick up more things for herself . She’d taken the afternoon vacation but I couldn’t leave before 5pm and out train was at 6-30pm.

I sent a text to James to say I could speak if he wanted to call and he called straight back and we chatted whilst Sally used the shower.

When she came back to the bedroom she just said ‘Why are we doing this? What is the point of meeting James this weekend?

I said I didn’t have an answer but that I’d enjoyed meeting him and at the time it had seemed like a good idea. She said she was nervous about the trip but if I really wanted to go then she’d still come with me.

There was something about James that I’d liked. He was tall and good looking and maybe he’d stirred some feelings inside me that I’d not experienced before. When I’d been with him I’d felt special and my tummy had been tingling. I’d wanted him to kiss me but not as Chris but as Christine. But as Sally said he was not hiding the fact that he was gay. He obviously frequented the club where we’d been and yet he had a relationship with ‘the Wicked Witch of West Birmingham’

It was a strange partnership but then I suppose she might say the same thing about me to her friends.

By this time mum was in bed and I could hear Julie and Gary talking in her room. I knocked on the door and she came into my room and together we selected some clothes for the weekend out of the stock that had been built up in my wardrobe and drawers. Sally was sitting on the bed as second advisor and we made a selection and then reduced the pile by half and then increased it again before finally halving the pile again.

I packed everything neatly into a weekend bag so only my make up and accessories to pack tomorrow. Sally said ‘will you wear that ring?’ I smiled and said yes but I’ll move it to the other hand.

I cleansed my face and the showered and squirted a little perfume onto my neck and behind my ears.

Sally was already in bed and as I closed the bedroom door I realized that Sally was sharing with mums full blessing.

I snuggled into bed and Sally turned out the light. I was about to say goodnight when she leaned over me.

To be continued……..