If you read Part I of "A Year in My Life", you would know that I found the love of my life, Katie. Kate and I became engaged just before high school graduation.

The other outstanding thing that I learned about myself was that I have a more feminine side, named Gwen. Gwen is who I am when I'm dressed as a girl, or now a college coed.

Kate was a driving force in finding Gwen, and helping her blossom. If you haven't read Part I, you might like to. In fact, thinking back, I should have called this story "A Few Years in My Life."

This part of my story covers the first year of our college life. It certainly hasn’t been boring. I can't tell you too much without giving away the story, but things got very interesting for us in college. Among other things, we met Tiffany. She tried to come between Kate and me, and almost succeeded.

And, a special thanks to Jenny van Eik for editing this chapter.

A Year in My Life
Part II - 1

This summer -- like previous summers -- Kate was working as a life guard at one of our area’s lakes, and I was working for the local park system doing all kinds of things.

I was given a kind of supervision position this summer. My boss had put me in charge of a group of high school students that was working for the parks. So, I assigned things that needed to be done and made sure that they were done. Basically it was cutting grass, pulling weeds, collecting trash, and things like that.

Tuesday, June 12

Kate and I were looking forward to college. She had my diamond on her finger. The one thing that Kate really wanted to do while in college was to be on the university's swim team, and the tryouts were today.

We both took the day off from work and drove down to State early this morning. This time I went as Gary, and there was no chance of us getting snowbound. I sat in the stands, and watched. It looked to me as if Kate was doing really well, and might even be making some friends among the other girls.

After the tryouts were over, we walked around campus a little, and just talked. Kate was excited, and said, "I think I did really well. The coaches really talked to me about a lot of things, and were surprised when I told them that our high school didn't have a swim team."

"That's great," I said, "any mention of a scholarship?"

"No, but I didn't hear them talk to anyone else about one either."

We wandered into the student union and got something to eat. As we were eating, Kate said, "I wish it would snow."

"In June?" I asked.

"Yeah, I want to spend another night with you."

"You are so bad."

"No, I just enjoyed that one night so much that I want it to happen again."

I smiled at her and said, "Me too."

She was tired, and slept most of the way home.

Saturday, June 16

Kate and Gwen -- and sometimes even Wendy -- still loved to go out. Kate had really worked with me. She had gotten me to the point where I could do my makeup and hair. I still wasn’t as fast as Kate, but I was close. Of course, she has always had something to start with: a very pretty feminine face. I have this ugly male face that has to be pushed to the limit to look feminine.

Both my parents and Kate’s knew that we did this. My dad wasn't very happy about it, but my mom was supportive. I think Kate and my mother talked more than I knew. Kate's mom was supportive; I think she even enjoyed having Gwen around from time to time. Even Kate’s dad had become somewhat accepting, but I still got a few strange looks from him when I was Gwen.

Today we were going to the park, then a movie, and then a late dinner at Greg's Drive-In. Yesterday, after work, we had done some shopping. I now owned a pair of girls’ shorts, and a cute sleeveless, button up top.

When we got back to the pool house today, Kate asked, "You know something?"

"What?" I asked.

"A sleeveless top and arm hair don't go together."

"You're not saying what I think you are, are you?"

"Yes, I am."

"Aw, I'll just wear the sweater."

"Lover, it's summer, and it's just hair."

"But the guys at work will see."

"Do you take your work shirt off?"

"No. We're not allowed to. But it's short sleeve."

"So? Has anyone noticed your eyebrows?"

"No. You're going to get me to do this no matter what I say, aren't you?"

She just smiled.

"All right," I said, shaking my head, "do your dirty work."

She crooked her finger and said, "Follow me love."

I got up and followed her into the changing room. As we walked in, she retrieved my Speedo swim suit, handed it to me, and said, "You know the drill."

I undressed, slipped on the Speedo, and got up on the bench.

Kate brought over the bottle of hair remover and said, "We'll do your legs first."

She covered my legs with the lotion. A few minutes later, I was walking out of the shower with very smooth legs. I was going to get back up on the bench, but Kate said, "We can do the rest without you up there."

She looked at my arms and just said, "Hmm."

"Hmm . . . what?" I asked.

"Your underarms."

"What about them?"

"They're hairy."

"So?"

"Lover, sleeveless blouse?"

"Yeah, I know. How do we do them?"

"We can use the depilatory, shave them, or wax them."

"How do you do yours?"

"Wax them."

"Ouch."

"It's really not that bad."

"Let’s shave them."

"All right, I'll go get a razor and you can shave in the shower after you get the cream off of your arms."

Half an hour later, I was sitting there in a bra and panties, working on my makeup and hair. When Kate was happy with my look, she helped me with the waist cincher. I put on the shorts, sleeveless top, and my one pair of girls' shoes. Kate handed me the wire-rim glasses and I slipped them on. Kate smiled and said, "Gwen, love, you look good enough to eat. But . . . "

"But . . . what?" I asked.

"You really do need some more shoes."

"More shoes?"

"You only have the running shoes."

"So?"

"What if we want to go someplace dressy?"

"I'd need more than shoes."

With her sly little smile, Kate said, "Hmm, yes you would."

I just looked at her. "You want to go shopping, don't you?"

With a grin Kate said, "Me, shopping? No, not me."

We went for a nice walk in the park, and ended up at the waterfall. I wanted to kiss Kate so badly while we were there, but there were others there, and I didn't think a girl kissing a girl would go over so well.

The movie we went to was at one of those theaters that have a dozen screens, so there were a lot of people there. I had become almost comfortable around strangers when I was dressed as Gwen, as long as I didn't have to talk. I'd learned to ignore the looks from boys, and return the smile from women.

But today we ran into some friends from high school. Luckily, when our friend Paula said that she thought I looked familiar, Kate introduced me as Gary's cousin Gwen.

Kate and I were going to a different movie from the one that our friends were seeing, so we went to our own theater. I whispered to Kate, "That was close. Maybe we shouldn't do this?"

"Don't worry. Paula just saw a family resemblance between you and Gary. But there's enough difference when you're Gwen that she didn’t recognize you."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

After the movie we went to Greg's Drive-In for dinner. The same group of friends was there, and someone asked where Gary was. Kate said, "Gwen and I decided to lose the boyfriends and just have a day to ourselves."

After we were finished at Greg's we went back to our regular haunt, the pool house. As we were sitting there cuddled together I said, "That was just too close today."

"What was too close?"

"Paula, seeing the resemblance between Gary and Gwen."

"Don't worry. Girls just see things boys don't, and she saw that you and Gary look a little alike. And of course you do. But there is enough difference that most people won't see it. Gary is a good looking guy. Gwen is a very pretty girl."

"If you say so."

She wrapped her arms around me, and said, "Lover, if I thought someone would figure out that you were Gary, I wouldn't be suggesting that we go out where people that knew you would see you. I wouldn't do that to you."

"And apparently I have a boyfriend?"

"A pretty girl like you is going to have a boyfriend, and probably more than one."

"But I only like girls."

"Did you want me to say that you had a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend?"

"I guess not."

"Good, we'll keep that our secret."

She kissed me.

Wednesday, July 18

Summer was really going by quickly. Kate and I spent as much time together as we could.

Today the crew I supervised was working in the park by the river where the rock bluff was. After lunch my boss showed up to check on our work. Then he said, "Gary, let's go check the rock bluff area. I don't think anyone's been up there for a while."

We left the work crew, and started the hike to the bluff. After we had finished the climb to the top, he wasn't happy. It was a mess, even more of a mess than what Kate and I had found a few weeks ago. He looked around and said, "Go back down to my truck, and get a trash bag."

"I have one in my pocket," I said. I always kept one in my back pocket just in case I needed it.

"Good. I can't believe some people. This is a great place, and they do this to it."

"I know. My fiance and I love this spot. We've been up here a few times to have a picnic. The last time we came up here, we had to clean it up first."

"You two really make the climb up here?"

"Yeah, I brought her up here after you showed it to me. She fell in love with it."

"Hmm, I know you didn't do this, but I'm afraid that we're going to have to close it off. We just can't get up here all the time to check on it."

I looked at him in a way that said that I wasn't happy with the decision. He said, "I know. A few can ruin it for everyone."

After we had cleaned up the mess, we started back down. When we reached the narrow part of the trail, my boss said, "I think this may be the best place for a gate. It would be very difficult to get around it here."

He was right. On one side was a steep drop off, and on the other was shear rock face. You'd have to be a rock climber to get around a gate here.

Then when we got to the bottom of the trail, he said, "After we get the gate installed, I'll have you and your crew put some brush at the trail head, and put up a sign."

Later that afternoon when I picked up Kate from the lake, I told her what had happened at the rock bluff. I thought she was going to cry.

Friday, July 20

As I was helping my boss and the regular maintenance crew install the gate on the trail, my crew was covering the trail head with brush. When we'd finished installing the gate, my boss fastened a lock on it. I was surprised when he handed me one of the keys to the lock and said, "We still have to check on this place every once-in-a-while, and you might as well be the one who does it for the rest of the summer. And if your fiance happens to be with you, that's fine."

I looked at him questioningly and asked, "Really?"

"Hey, someone has to check on it and I don't really have the time."

"Consider it checked."

When we got back down to the trail head, my crew had put a lot of brush across the trail. We installed a "Trail Closed" sign there.

When I picked Kate up from the lake, I told her that we'd closed off the trail today. She just shook her head and looked sad. Then I asked, "Want to go on a picnic tomorrow?"

"Sure, but where?"

"The rock bluff."

"Don't joke about that."

I held up the key and said, "I'm not joking."

"How did you get that?"

"My boss gave it to me and said, 'We still have to check on the area every once-in-a-while, and you might as well be the one who does it for the rest of the summer. And if your fiance happens to be with you, that's fine.'"

Kate got a big smile and said, "He knows we've been up there before?"

"Yeah, I told him when he and I were up there last Wednesday."

"But he didn't care?"

"He didn't seem to."

Needless to say Kate and I checked out the rock bluff on a regular basis. We could tell that people had tried to jimmy the lock, and get around the gate. But it didn’t look like anyone had succeeded.

Friday, September 7

The summer had slipped by all too quickly. We had both celebrated our nineteenth birthdays. Gwen had been around from time to time. Kate had even taken Gwen shopping a few times. I had a good start on a nice wardrobe of feminine clothes, all stored at Kate's house.

Kate had impressed the swim team coaches, and she received a partial athletic scholarship. Classes were to start on Monday, September 10, but Kate had to be on campus the week before to begin swim team practice.

One thing we figured out was that it would be impossible, living in the dorms, for Gwen to be around except when we went home. With Kate now on the swim team, it looked like we wouldn't be able to make it home very often

Last Friday I had gone with Kate and her parents to move her into her dorm. It was Labor Day weekend, but that didn't stop the swim team from starting their practices. After Kate had unpacked, she and I took a walk to say goodbye; it was a very long goodbye.

Today was my turn to move into my dorm. My parents had driven me down, and Kate met us. Talk about a greeting, she literally wrapped herself around me and the kiss was very long. My parents also got some great hugs.

After my parents had left, Kate and I got reacquainted. It was like we'd been apart for months, instead of only a week. Luckily my roommate hadn't arrived yet. Our dorm rules allowed opposite-sex visits up to a certain time, and we took advantage of it.

Wednesday, October 10

Katie and I settled into the college routine. I was at most of her swim practices, and we ate most of our meals together in the resident hall cafeteria every day.

We had one class together: just like our junior year in high school, it was English. It was a large freshman class without assigned seats, so Kate and I were able to sit with each other.

We also found the lovers’ areas on campus. One of our favorites was a large pond, with a number of benches around it. We made good use of it.

Needless to say, we didn't make it home on weekends like we'd planned, so Gwen wasn't around. I missed her, and Kate hadn't said much about her.

Today became the day from hell. Over the past week or so, Kate had become quiet and a little distant. I wrote it off to the pressures of college and the swim team practices.

After my last class I went back to my dorm to drop off my books before meeting Kate for dinner. As I walked into the building, I checked my mail box. There was only one envelope in it.

I pulled the envelope out and looked at it. It just had my name written on it, in Kate's handwriting. It felt like there was something besides paper in the envelope.

I went to my room, and I'm glad my roommate wasn't there. When I opened the envelope and pulled the letter out, Kate's engagement ring fell on the floor. I can't really describe what I felt at that moment, but I imagine it was like having the heart ripped out of my chest.

I picked the ring up off the floor and looked at it. Then I unfolded the letter and read it. Then I read it again. I couldn't believe what I was reading. Kate wanted to break off the engagement. She said that she needed some space and time to find herself, whatever that meant.

What made me most angry was that she hadn’t even had the courtesy to tell me to my face. Then I guess it hit me: I'd lost Kate! I fell on my bed and started crying.

I don't know how long I cried, but it was a long time. Finally I was able to pull myself together -- as much as I could. I got cleaned up and just went walking around campus.

I ended up at the pond that Kate and I visited on a regular basis. I found a bench, sat down, and read her letter over and over again.

As I was getting ready to head back to my dorm, I took the ring out of my pocket. I just stared at it, trying to decide if I should throw it in the pond or not.

Thursday, October 11

Kate and I had our English class today. As I walked into the lecture hall, Kate was already sitting in her seat. I was surprised that she'd still sit there. Since we didn't have assigned seats, I sat in the back of the room by the door so that I could leave quickly when class was over. Kate kept looking around; maybe she was looking for me. But I was sitting behind a few people so she couldn't see me.

After class I left the room quickly and headed for the Registrar's office. I wanted to change classes if I could. I actually wasn't sure at that point if I was going to stay in school or not.

After my last class today, I called home and had a long talk with my mother. She couldn't believe what I said about Kate breaking up with me. I told her that I was going to try to find a ride home on Friday or Saturday. She said that she and my dad would come and get me, but I told her that I knew of someone who drove up our way every weekend; he would probably bring me home for the cost of gas.

Friday, October 12

As I walked in the door at home this evening, both my mother and father met me. As we hugged, I started to cry again. My mom just held me until I stopped.

She had made my favorite dessert, and I sat down to a big piece of apple pie with vanilla ice cream. We talked some more. When I told my mom that Kate had never talked to me face to face about breaking up, she couldn't believe that Kate had treated me that way.

Saturday, October 13

I didn't sleep much, and was up and out early. I drove around town for a while before I headed for the park with the waterfall. I hiked to the waterfall and sat there for a long time just thinking. I couldn't come up with any reason why Kate would have done this.

I stopped at Greg's Drive-In, looked around, and didn't see anyone I knew. I found an empty booth, sat down, and ordered some fries and a Coke. I'd never felt so alone.

Sunday, October 14

I was back at school and in my dorm room late this afternoon. My parents had talked me into staying in school, at least for this term. When the term was over, maybe I would transfer to a different school.

My roommate, Doug, was in our room when I got there. He asked, "Are things any better?"

"Not really, Doug. I just don't know what the hell happened."

Shaking his head, he just said, "Girls."

Tuesday, November 6

This evening, I was sitting in the library studying and I heard someone softly say, "Gary?"

I didn't react right away. I knew who it was. It was Kate.

Again, I heard, "Gary?"

I didn't look at her, but just said, "What?"

"Can I sit down?" Kate asked.

"You can sit anywhere you want, it's a free country."

I heard her pull a chair out across the table from where I was sitting. I buried my face even more deeply into the book I was reading. She said, "Gary, please look at me."

"Why?"

"Because I want to see your face again."

"Maybe I don't want to see yours."

"Gary, please."

I slowly lowered the book and looked up at her. She was pretty as always, but I could tell she wasn't happy. She wasn't happy? Yeah, right.

I looked back down at my book, and she said, "Gary, please talk to me."

I looked back up at her and asked, "Why should I? You broke my heart and you couldn't even tell me to my face. And what's this crap about having to find yourself?"

I saw tears slowly start to roll down her cheeks. I got up, gathered my things, and walked away. I heard her chair move. With a sob in her voice she said, "Gary, please!"

I stopped, turned around, and said, "Give me one good reason!"

"Because I screwed up big time."

"No shit! I loved you! You were all I ever wanted out of life, but you dumped me without even a good explanation!"

Just then one of the librarians walked up to us and said, "Please quiet down. There are people trying to study."

"I'm sorry," I said, "I was just leaving."

I turned and walked toward the door. Again I heard Kate say, "Gary, please!"

The librarian said, "Miss, you'll have to leave."

I walked quickly out the door. A few seconds later I heard Kate follow me, saying, "Gary, please wait."

I turned and saw Kate walking after me. I stopped and said, "Just leave me alone, you've done enough damage."

She stopped, sat on a bench, put her face in her hands, and started really crying. I just stood there and watched her.

A guy I knew from class walked up to me and said, "Hey man, go talk to her. It can't be that bad."

I looked at him blankly and said, "Yes it can. We were together for a year and a half. We were engaged, but she broke the whole thing off a month ago without talking to me -- or even giving me a good explanation. Now she wants to talk to me."

He said, "Hey man, I'm sorry. You take care." He walked away shaking his head.

Kate was close enough that she heard the whole thing. She looked up at me, her eyes pleading with me.

Then I saw Wendy walk out of the library. She had been working there to help pay for school. She must have heard, or heard about, the commotion. Wendy walked over to Kate, sat down next to her, and put an arm around her.

I thought, 'Who comforted me when I got hurt? No one.' I turned and walked away.

I had just made it back to my dorm room when my cell phone rang. I hadn’t thought to remove Kate's special ring, and my phone was now ringing those familiar notes. I let it ring a long time before I answered it with, "What?"

"Gary, it's Wendy."

"Yeah, what?"

"Gary, listen. I've never seen Kate like this, she's really upset. She really wants to talk to you."

"Well, now she knows how I felt."

"Gary, I know. I don't even know why she did what she did. She won't tell anyone."

"Then what the hell does she want to talk to me about?"

"She just keeps saying that she needs to talk to you."

"I don't know if I ever want to talk to her again."

"Gary, as a favor to me?"

I was silent as I thought for a minute.

"Gary," Wendy asked, "are you still there?"

"Yeah, I'm here," I said, "I'm just thinking."

"Okay."

"It's too late today. Have her meet me tomorrow morning where we used to meet for breakfast."

I heard Wendy tell Kate, "He says tomorrow for breakfast." I heard Kate in the background, saying, "Thank you, Gary."

Wendy said, "Thanks, Gary. She'll be there."

I hung up and I tried to figure out why I had agreed to meet Kate.

Wednesday, November 7

Before our breakup we had met at seven every morning for breakfast in one of the student cafeterias. I walked in late today, but Kate was sitting where we had always sat together. She saw me walk in, and her eyes followed me through the cafeteria.

I went through the line and got my breakfast. I had noticed that Kate didn't have any food, so I got her a large orange juice. I walked over to the table, but instead of sitting next to her I sat across from her.

She looked up at me, and said, "Hi."

I set the orange juice in front of her, and said, "Hi." I began eating my breakfast.

"Gary?"

"What?"

"I . . . I screwed up big time."

"You just realized that?"

"No, I think I knew it the minute I did it."

"So why did you do it?"

"I . . . I needed to find myself."

"Don't give me that crap! Find yourself. That's no reason to throw a relationship like ours out the window like you did."

She looked down at the table, then back at me, and tears were rolling down her cheeks. She finally said, "I know, and I want to tell you what really happened. But not here."

"Then where?"

"I don't know. Maybe someplace where we can be alone."

"Alone? You want to be alone?"

"Yes."

"I don't know. I don't know if I want to be alone with you. I don't know if you're the same Kate."

"I haven't changed. I just had something happen that I couldn't talk about."

"Not even to me?"

"No, I had to do this myself."

"Kate, we were engaged -- engaged to be husband and wife. We shouldn't have secrets from each other. You know all about me."

"I know I shouldn't have done it this way. I've hurt you terribly."

"No shit."

"Gary, please, let’s go somewhere where we can be alone and talk."

"I don't know."

"Please, away from here, away from home, away from everyone else."

I sat there and looked at her. Then I reached across the table, and wiped the tears away, and asked, "When?"

"The sooner, the better."

"I'll see what I can do about this weekend."

"If we need a car, I know someone who has one."

"Who?"

"Wendy."

"She's not supposed to have a car on campus. She's a sophomore."

"It's not really on campus."

That evening I explained to my roommate, Doug, what Kate wanted to do. He had told me earlier that his family had a cabin on a lake about an hour east of campus, and sometimes he'd run over there on weekends to get away.

As we talked that evening, he told me that it might be possible for me to use the lake cabin this weekend. He made a couple of phone calls, and as he handed me the key, he said, "Man, after the way she hurt you, I'd really have second thoughts about taking her back."

"I don't know . . . I really don't know."

Friday, November 9

After our last class, Kate and I headed east in Wendy's car -- which was actually a pickup truck. We didn't say much to each other except for Kate reading the directions Doug had given me.

Just a little over an hour after we'd left the university, we were pulling up to Doug's family cabin. This was no little cabin; it was more like a log home.

As we pulled up, Kate asked, "Are you sure this is the right place?"

"I guess we'll know as soon as we try the key." I answered.

We walked into a large, well furnished living room. I said, "I'm surprised that Doug's family said I could use this place."

"Maybe Doug really likes you."

"Maybe."

"Wait, where are the directions?"

"Right here, why?"

"I need the code at the bottom to shut off the alarm system."

It was a little cold, but I soon had a fire going to chase away the chill. Then we unloaded the pickup. We had to bring food, our own linens, and a few other things.

This cabin -- if you could call it that -- had four bedrooms. There were two bedrooms on the first floor, and two on the second. There was also a loft with bunk beds, two full baths, and a spacious, modern country kitchen with a large table. A central fireplace served both the living room and kitchen.

After we had put everything away, we walked out the kitchen door onto the patio and down toward the lake. There was a nice dock, a couple of canoes, and a boat house. The patio was large, with a nice grill and a fire pit. In looking at the shoreline, we saw four other cabins like this one on the large lake.

When we went back inside, I asked Kate, "Doug said to only use the bedrooms upstairs, or the beds in the loft. So which bedroom do you want?"

"Oh . . . I . . . I don't care." she said.

Later we threw together a light dinner and sat at the kitchen table eating in silence. As we were washing dishes I asked, "So why did we need to be alone to talk?"

"I . . . I need a little more time before we talk. Is that all right?"

"Take as long as you need . . . until Sunday night."

As we walked back into the living room I tossed a couple more logs on the fire, and there was a knock at the door. I opened the door to find a security officer standing there. I asked, "Yes sir, can I help you?"

"Good evening, I'm Officer Wiggins from Tritec Security. We cover the homes around the lake and we're just checking to see who's here."

"Yes sir."

"What are your names?"

"I'm Gary Cutwright and this is Kate Branson."

"Yes sir, do you have any identification?"

"Yes sir," I said as I took out my wallet and handed him my driver’s license.

"Thank you Mr. Cutwright. And you, miss?"

"I'll get my purse," Kate said as she turned and walked back to her bedroom.

While she was gone, the officer asked, "This vehicle isn't registered to you, is it sir?"

"No," I said, "it belongs to Kate's cousin, Wendy Branson."

"She knows you have it?"

"Yes sir."

"And if we contacted her, she'd tell us that you have permission to have her truck?"

"Yes sir, she works at the main campus library at State, and should be there now."

Just then Kate walked up with her driver’s license and showed it to the officer. He said, "Thank you, Miss Branson. Everything appears to be in order. If you leave the house, please be sure to set the alarm. Also, if you are staying any later than Sunday evening, please call and let us know."

He handed me a business card and said, "One last thing: no big parties."

"No sir," I said, "it'll only be the two of us."

"Have a nice weekend."

"Thank you, officer."

After I closed the door, I said, "Private security, interesting."

Kate asked, "Can we go out on the patio?"

"Sure," I said, "but it's getting cold."

"I know. I just want to sit outside for a little while."

We got our coats and walked out onto the patio. Kate sat on a glider and I sat in an arm chair. She looked at me in a way that said, 'I wish you'd sit with me,' but she didn't actually say anything out loud. We sat there and it really started getting cold. Finally I said, "I'm going in, it's too cold out here."

"You're right." Kate said. She followed me into the house and into the living room. I sat in an overstuffed arm chair, and Kate sat on the couch. We sat there for a long time in silence. Finally Kate said, "Gary?"

"What?" I asked.

"I . . . I'm very sorry for what I did."

"Okay."

"I had something happen that really confused me."

"And that was?"

"You know Tiff on the swim team?"

"Tiffany, sure."

"She's a lesbian."

I turned, looked at Kate, and said, "A lesbian?"

"Yeah, and . . . and she came on to me."

"She did?"

"Yes, and I accepted her advances."

I just sat there and looked at her for a long time. Then I said, "And the two of you did . . . ?"

Tears started as she just nodded her head yes.

"So," I asked, "you tossed away everything we had for her?"

She looked at me and shook her head no.

I said, "No? But you sent me the ring."

"I . . . I know," Kate said, "she made me."

"She what?"

"She made me do it."

"How in the hell did she make you do it."

"She . . . she became very controlling."

"Why didn't you talk to me?"

"I . . . I was afraid to, and I was confused."

"Kate, when have you ever been afraid to talk to me? And what were you confused about?"

"You're right, I've never been afraid to talk to you."

"Kate you were always the outgoing one in our relationship, the one who wasn't afraid of anything. You never hesitated to state your mind. What were you confused about?"

"What I was feeling."

"What you were feeling?"

"For Tiff . . . for you."

"So you weren't sure what you wanted?"

"No, not for a little while."

"A little while?"

"Within a week after I'd sent the ring, I knew that I'd made a big mistake. I knew that I'd probably lost the most important person in my life and Tiff was a real bitch, very demanding. It didn't take me long to see that she was using me."

"You knew the week after you sent me the ring that you had screwed up. Why did it take you this long to say something?"

"I had to get rid of Tiff, and I was afraid to talk to you. I knew that I had hurt you, and that you were very angry. I was worried that you might not talk to me ever again. I had seen you around campus, and I had followed you. I was just trying to work up the courage to talk to you, but I just couldn't do it. When I walked into the library this past Tuesday and saw you sitting there, I ignored my fear and walked over to you. You know the rest."

"You'll never know how much you hurt me. So Tiff is in the past?"

"Yes, and I wish it never happened."

"Really in the past?"

"Yes."

"And you want to get back together?"

"More than you know. If you can ever forgive me, I never, ever, want to be apart again."

"You know I applied to transfer to another university?"

"No . . . no I didn't"

"I couldn't stand to see you on campus. It just hurt too much. I had to get away from you."

"Oh."

I sat there and just looked at her. I was just trying to figure out my emotions. I got up and said, "I need to go outside for a while."

I slipped on my coat, went out the back door, and walked down to the dock. The wind coming off the lake was cold, but I didn’t feel it. I stood there for a long time, just looking at the water.

I finally walked back to the cabin and stood in front of the fireplace to warm up. Kate was still sitting where I had left her on the couch. She just looked at me.

I finally said, "I'm going to need to sleep on this."

"All right," she said.

Without another word, I checked all the doors to be sure they were locked, set the alarm, and went up to my bedroom. I lay there for a long time thinking about Kate, what I was feeling, how I felt about her, how I felt about us, how I felt about what she’d done, and what I wanted to do.

Saturday, November 10

I wasn't sleeping; my mind was in high gear, trying to figure things out. Then I heard the door to my room open. I looked over at the door and Kate was standing there wrapped in a blanket. I glanced at the bedside clock; it was two-thirty in the morning.

Kate walked over to the bed and started to get into it. I asked, "What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry, I thought you were sleeping. I'm freezing," she replied, "but I'll leave."

"I was getting cold too. I guess you can stay."

She crawled into bed. I rolled over with my back to her and felt her move close to me. We lay there for a while and I finally asked, "Kate, are you asleep?"

"No."

"Why did you do that with Tiff?"

"I guess it was out of curiosity."

"Curiosity?"

"Of what is was like to be with a girl."

"I thought Gwen was enough girl for you?"

"She was, and is. It turns out that I don't like girls that way. It was a bad decision on my part, and I wish it had never happened."

"So Tiff no longer means anything to you?"

"She means nothing; she's just something that happened . . . a bad memory."

"Are you sure?"

"Very sure."

I lay there for a while and then asked, "You're making breakfast in the morning, right?"

"You know I will."

It was about eleven when I woke up. I remembered Kate getting in bed with me, so I rolled over, but she was gone. Then I figured out what had woken me: I smelled breakfast cooking. I got out of bed, and it was cold. I got dressed very quickly.

I walked out of the bedroom and down to the kitchen. Like I thought, Kate was making breakfast; but she had on her coat and mine. When she saw me she said, "Please make a fire, I'm frozen."

As I walked toward the living room I said, "I thought you were good at making a fire. You do so well in the pool house."

"Yeah, all I do there is push a button."

I turned off the alarm system -- we didn't need Officer Wiggins back -- and I started a fire. It didn't take long for the fire to start warming the room up. I heard Kate say, "Come and help me, please."

I walked back into the kitchen and Kate said, "I almost have the bacon and French toast done. Will you pour two glasses of milk?"

"Sure," I said, "it smells really good."

We sat down at the table, and enjoyed a very good breakfast. By the time we were finished the room had warmed up. After we had cleaned up the kitchen I asked, "Want to go for a walk?"

"Sure, where?"

"I think we can walk along the shore of the lake. At least it looks like we can, but it might be cold."

"I don't care. I'll be with you."

We walked in silence for a long time. When we turned to head back to the cabin, I realized that we'd walked almost halfway around the lake. On the way back, Kate took my hand and I didn't stop her. By the time we were back at the cabin, she was holding my arm.

When we were back inside I tossed a couple more logs on the fire, and sat on the couch. Kate also sat on the couch, but at the other end. We sat there for a little while watching the fire. I finally asked, "Katie, why don't you come sit next to me?"

I saw a little smile on her face for the first time this weekend, and she moved over next to me. We just sat there watching the fire. The longer we sat, the closer she cuddled. Finally, I said, "Katie, I'm willing to give us another chance, but it's going to take me some time to get over the hurt."

"You're really willing to give us a second chance?"

"Yes, really."

She turned and kissed me. I thought, 'Boy, have I missed those kisses.'

She said, "I'll do anything I can to help make the hurt go away."

"Just be with me."

She cuddled in as close as she could, and I held her close. Kate finally said, "I'm getting hungry."

"Now that you mention it, so am I."

That night neither of us got cold. In fact, we didn't get much sleep at all. We spent a long time getting reacquainted in many ways.

Sunday, November 11

Kate was up again before I was, making breakfast. She was wearing both of our coats again, but it didn't take me long to get a fire going.

As we were cleaning up after breakfast, Kate asked, "Do you think we could spend another night?"

"Doug did say they didn't really care how long we stayed. He said that no one from his family would be here until Thanksgiving."

With that sly smile of hers, she said, "You mean we can stay until Thanksgiving?"

"Yeah, right. What about classes, and the swim team?"

"Oh yeah, classes. I guess we do need to go to those don't we?"

"That's why we’re in school. And the swim team?"

"Yeah, the swim team." Kate said with a disgusted tone in her voice.

"Katie, what about the swim team?"

"Nothing."

"Katie, what is it?"

"I quit."

"What! You quit? Why?"

"Because I did."

"Tiffany?"

"That was part of it."

"What was the rest?"

"It just wasn't what I thought it would be. I figured that I'd make some friends, but they're all a bunch of prima donnas."

"What about the scholarship?"

"I guess that I'll just to have to pay them back."

"But you loved it, Katie."

"Loved is the word. I love to swim, but I hate what I had to put up with."

I saw tears in her eyes, and I just held her. She whispered, "Lover, you don't know how much I missed you holding me."

"No more than I've missed holding you."

She pushed back a little, looked me in the eyes, and said, "Gary, I love you so much! I’m sorry that I made such a mess of our relationship."

"Katie, it's over. I still love you, and I just love being with you."

She pulled me close and held me very tightly.

I whispered, "I'd better call Doug, and check to see if we can stay tonight."

"Don't forget to call Officer Wiggins."

"That was going to be my second call."

I made the calls. Doug was initially surprised that Kate and I were back together, but said that there shouldn't be a problem staying Sunday night. The security company thanked me for calling.

Kate and I drove to the nearest town to pick up a few things that we would need for that night and the next morning. I was glad that the pickup truck had a bench seat, because Kate was able to sit right next to me. On the way back to the cabin, Kate asked, "How do you feel about Gwen?"

"Gwen? I miss her," I said.

"Really?"

"I think you really found a hidden part of me, a feminine part."

"Honestly?"

"Yes, I love it when we bring her out. It feels good being her."

"We?"

"She's nothing without you."

"You're sweet, but you don't have to say that."

"It's true. Gwen's nothing without you. One of the weekends that I was home, I found some of Anne's old clothes and tried to bring Gwen out. I got dressed and did my makeup and hair. I even thought I looked good. But something was missing: my mentor wasn't there. So I put Gwen away."

She took my hand and squeezed it. I then asked, "Now, tell me how you really feel about Gwen?"

"Like I always have."

"Which is how?"

"The first time Mary did your makeup I was shocked, very shocked. I sat there and watched her turn my boyfriend into a girl . . . a very pretty girl. I didn't know what I was feeling.

"Then, as I did your makeup those few times before the dance, I saw a new part of you. Like you said, a feminine part. It became fun to find clothes for you and try different looks. It was good to watch you relax and enjoy being a girl.

"Going to the Halloween parties was really fun. I especially liked how we dressed for Ken's. I know Ken's party itself wasn't good for you, but I found the real Gwen: the sexy high school girl who wanted to be seen. She didn't like the way the boys treated her, and I don't blame her. But watching her there, and later at Greg's, was interesting. I think Gwen had found herself.

"When we went to the mall the first time, Gwen was worried that she was going to be read as a guy, even though there was no way that could have happened. Her look was perfect. Those wire-rim glasses were just the right touch for her. I think the real Gwen was born just before Ken's party.

"I love Gwen. I love her because she is a part of you. She shares your heart and soul. That makes her very special."

As she said this, we pulled into the cabin's driveway. I put the pickup in park, turned to her, and gave her a very deep, long kiss.

We took our purchases into the cabin and made dinner. Afterward, Kate said, "I have a surprise for you."

"What?" I asked.

"Go out to the pickup truck and look behind the passenger's seat. You'll find a small suitcase. Please bring it in."

"What's in it?"

"I'll show you when you bring it in. And no fair peeking."

I did what Kate had asked, and as I walked back in the cabin with the suit case Kate said, "Follow me."

I followed her to the kitchen and set the case on the table. Kate said, "I brought this just in case everything worked out with us. Everything has worked out for us, hasn't it?"

"I think so, but you have to promise me that we'll talk about things from now on."

"I promise. I don't ever want to go through anything like that again."

"I don't think I could survive something like that again. So, what's in the case?"

"Don't be mad, but when I was home a few weekends ago I brought some things back with me. I hoped beyond hope that we'd get back together," and with a little smile she added, "and if we did, I thought that you might like to be Gwen for a little while."

"I'm not mad, but were you that sure we'd get back together?"

"No, I wasn't sure at all. I was just very hopeful. And I thought that if we did, that I could bring something that reminded us both of happier times."

"Happier times . . . being Gwen made me happy, a lot like being with you always used to make me happy."

"Only in the past?"

"And maybe again, in the future."

"You're still not sure, are you?"

"Katie, like I said, it's going to take some time to get over the hurt. This weekend has really helped. Compared to when we drove down here, I feel a lot better about us than I did."

Kate picked up the case and said, "I shouldn't have done this. I'll put it back." She took the case and started walking out of the kitchen. As she walked past me I took her shoulders and turned her to face me. She asked, "What?"

"Just this," and I kissed her. At first her arms remained down at her sides, but then I heard the case hit the floor as she wrapped her arms very tightly around me.

We broke the kiss. I looked at her and asked, "Why do you want to put the case back?"

"I just think that you're not ready to do this with me," she replied.

"Says who?"

"Are you?"

"Lets find out."

I picked up the case, took Katie's hand in mine, and headed up to our bedroom. When we got there, I tossed the case on the bed and asked, "So what did you have in mind?"

Kate was smiling, and she said, "Just to have my girlfriend back."

"What did you bring?"

"Some shampoo and conditioner, so we can do something with that mop you call hair. Your makeup, some clothes, and shoes. And some surprises."

"Surprises?"

"Uh-huh, I thought that if we did this it was time for Gwen to have some new feminine experiences."

"What?"

"You'll see. First, jump in the shower and wash your hair, and we'll see what we can do with it. Use the shampoo, then the conditioner. Leave the conditioner in your hair for five minutes, and then rinse and just towel dry."

When I came out of the bathroom, Kate handed me the red satin panties and I slipped them on. It had been a while since I'd worn these, and I'd missed them.

Kate went to work on my hair with a brush and blow dryer. By the time my hair was dry, she had worked it into a very nice feminine style. When she finished she said, "Lover, your hair could be a lot nicer. You really need to take better care of it."

"Are you going to teach me?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Yes."

"Are you willing to go to a beauty shop with me?"

"Maybe, why?"

"Your hair needs professional help to get it into shape, and I know just the person."

"When do you want to do this?"

"Maybe when we're home for Thanksgiving break?"

"We'll see."

Kate wanted to do my makeup for me, so she went to work. The first thing she did -- which in my opinion was her favorite thing to do -- was pluck my eyebrows. She worked long and hard, and really had me worried.

Then it was the usual moisturizer, foundation, and everything else. But she spent longer on my eyes than she usually did. When she finished she handed me the wire-rim glasses and I slipped them on. Kate got a very big smile and said, "You look so nice."

I went to turn and look in a mirror, but Kate caught me and said, "Can you wait until you're dressed?"

"I'll try," I said.

"Come on over to the bed and get dressed."

I walked over to the bed, but it was hard not looking in a mirror. Kate had laid everything out on the bed. She handed me a bra and I slipped it on. As she helped me stuff the cups with nylons, Kate said, "We need to get you some breasts."

"What?"

"Not real ones."

"Fake ones?"

"I don't think you want real ones, do you?"

"No."

She picked up the waist cincher and handed it to me. It was the other one that we had purchased on our one trip to the mall, the cincher with garters. I stepped into it and pulled it up, she tightened it. I had almost forgotten how much I liked the tight feeling of the cincher. Kate said, "Run the garters down through your panties."

"Why?"

"Just in case you have to use the bathroom."

"Huh?"

"Lover, if your garters are outside the panties, you have to undo them to pull your panties down. If they're inside, you can pull your panties down without any problem."

"Yeah, makes sense."

"You'll learn. Now for the nylons."

"Nylons?"

"That's why your waist cincher has garters."

"Oh."

Kate handed me a pair of nylons and asked, "Think you can get these on?"

"Sure, they're almost like pantyhose."

"Almost, but you have to attach them to the garters."

I sat on the bed and put on the first nylon. When I got it pulled up, I looked at Kate and asked, "Now what?"

"Here," she said, "let me show you."

She showed me how to fasten the front and side garters, and said, "You can fasten the back ones when you stand up."

I put on the other nylon and fastened the front and side garters without a problem. Then I stood up and tried to figure out how to reach the rear garters. I struggled to fasten them, and watched as Kate's smile got bigger and bigger. Finally she said, "It's a learned skill. I'll fasten them for you."

She fastened the garters, and the feeling of the garters pulling on the nylons was really different -- not to mention how it felt when I walked. I asked Kate, "Is this the new experience?"

"One of them, like it?"

"It's interesting."

"I also found you a new blouse, skirt, and shoes."

"You really thought we'd get back together, didn't you?"

"Lover, I was praying that we would. I bought these things just in case we did. Thinking that I might have you and Gwen back helped me get up the nerve to talk to you."

Kate picked up the new blouse and, like she was trying to teach me something about fashion, said, "This is a jacket-style blouse, with a V-neckline, and it has a front ruffle. The long sleeves have a slight bell sleeve."

As I was putting it on I asked, "Trying to teach me a little about fashion?"

"Sure, don't you want to learn?"

I just smiled at her.

She handed me a jeans skirt. I stepped into it, pulled it up, and found the zipper on the side. The skirt hit me about halfway between the top of the nylons and my knees. I said, "At least it's longer than the one for Ken's party."

Kate added, "And you won't have to worry about the boys hitting on you here."

With a fake pout I said, "Aw, that won't be any fun."

"Girlfriend, you just need to worry about me hitting on you. Here, put your shoes on."

Kate handed me a pair of shoes. I had worn this style at Halloween, I think Kate had called them Mary Janes. But the chunky heel on these was much shorter than what I'd worn for Halloween, maybe only two or two-and-a-half inches tall. They were dark blue and had a strap across the instep. I slipped them on, and they felt nice. I asked, "Are we done?"

"Girlfriend, think jewelry. You're never finished until you have your jewelry on. In fact, I think it's time for different earrings."

"Different earrings?"

"Sure," Kate said as she pulled a small box out of the case, "your ears should be healed, so it's time for some really pretty ones."

She opened the box and took out a pair of pretty hoop earrings. They looked like they were about two inches in diameter, and were actually three hoops on a swivel. There was one gold and two silver hoops. Kate had worn something like these a couple times when she was dressed up, and they had looked really nice on her.

Kate removed my studs and put the hoops in place. Every time I moved my head I could feel the earrings move. I asked Kate, "Is this one of the new experiences?"

"Could be, why?"

"Feeling these move every time I move my head is different."

"I guess I'm used to it, I don’t notice any more."

"Can I look yet?"

"One last thing, a necklace."

Kate fastened the necklace with the double heart-shaped pendant around my neck. "Now you can look."

I turned and looked in the mirror and I just stared for a minute. Kate finally asked, "Is something wrong?"

"No . . . nothing’s wrong. Unless looking in a mirror and seeing a pretty girl looking back at you is wrong."

"So, do you like the look?"

"Yeah, very much. But I think you went a little overboard on my eyebrows."

"Not really, it’s just a little makeup magic."

"Magic?"

"If you get real close to the mirror, you can see where the makeup covers part of your eyebrows, and I used the eyebrow pencil to really bring out what I wanted to. This works when you're not close to people."

"You actually changed what you do to my eyes, didn't you?"

"It's more like what a coed would wear to a party. Like it?"

"It really brings out my blue eyes."

"Nothing sexier than a blue-eyed blonde. Is it too sexy?"

"I think if I was going anywhere, yes. But if I'm just going to be with you, no. It's actually a fun look."

"It is a fun look. If we ever go someplace special, I think you should wear this look. It's really cute on you."

"Someplace special?"

"A party or something like that."

"A party. Like what, Ken's Halloween party?"

"I hope not, a fun party."

"Well then, maybe."

I looked at my hands and said, "Not doing my nails?"

"I'm sorry, that's the one thing I forgot to bring."

"That's all right, next time."

With a grin, Kate asked, "Next time?"

"I told you that I missed Gwen. She's back now, and I'd like her to come back more."

"You really did miss her, didn't you?"

"Almost as much as I missed you."

Kate walked over to me and gave me a long, soft kiss. When we broke the kiss she whispered, "You didn't forget how to kiss like a girl, did you?"

"I know you like Gwen to kiss that way, and I like kissing you that way. So . . . " I kissed her again.

We spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out as two girlfriends. I liked the feelings of the garters pulling on the nylons and the earrings moving. As we were making dinner I said to Kate, "I feel like I'm overdressed."

"You're not," she replied, "some girls like to keep it a little upscale; others like to keep it simple. I see Gwen as one of the upscale kind of girls."

"But I loved the look with the jeans and sweater."

"I know, and that's a good look on you too. But a skirt and a blouse just say Gwen. I think she's just a very feminine girl."

"And you're not?"

"You know I am. I love to look nice. It's fun. But there are times when I just like to really kick back."

After dinner we sat cuddled up together in front of the fire. Kate asked, "So, does it feel good to be Gwen again?"

"Yes, very good. Are you glad that she's back?"

Kate turned and looked at me. She said, "The only thing that makes me happier is that we're back together. I know you like to become Gwen. You feel good when you do, and I think you can relax more."

"I think you're right, especially about one thing."

"What's that?"

"About being happy that we're back together."

"Are you?"

"Katie, I'm very happy that we're back together."

The kiss I received had so much feeling in it that I can't describe it. It was amazing.

We cuddled together for a little longer. Kate finally asked, "Why don't you check the doors?"

"Why? It's early."

"No it's not. It's late, and I want you. I want you right now."

Monday, November 12

Kate was still asleep when I woke up. I just lay there and watched her sleep. I thought about the past weekend, about how I truly loved this girl. I was surprised by how easily I had forgiven her after the way she had hurt me. But I felt that she was very sincere in what we had talked about, and I really couldn't stay mad at her for long. I still had to get over her lesbian fling with Tiffany, but I thought that time would heal even that.

I thought about Gwen, and why I really felt the way I did when I was dressed as a girl. I didn't really have an answer for this. I thought about Kate's interaction with Gwen. Why was Kate so attracted to Gwen? Again, I didn't have an answer.

But did this have anything to do with Kate’s attraction to Tiffany? Or was it like Katie had said, 'I love her (Gwen) because she is a part of you. She shares your heart and soul. And that makes her very special.' But what's the attraction?

Kate started to stir and opened her eyes. She saw me looking at her, smiled, and said, "Good morning, Lover."

I returned the smile, and said, "Good morning."

It was then that I realized that I was still wearing the cincher and nylons. That meant that I was also still wearing the makeup from last night. Kate said, "I really do love waking up with you."

"Even when I look like this?"

Her smile got bigger and she said, "I don't care. Last night was wonderful. You're here with me. I couldn't ask for anything more."

We exchanged a very long kiss, and it was forty-five minutes later that we finally got out of bed. I unhooked the garters from the nylons and Kate helped me out of the cincher. As Kate was helping me remove my makeup she said, "I hate to see Gwen go away."

"You really like it when I'm Gwen, don't you?"

"Lover, I like you no matter what."

After my makeup was off, we took a long shower together. Then we helped each other make breakfast, actually lunch. As we sat there eating, Kate asked, "When can we start doing this all the time?"

"Eat breakfast like this?"

"That and spend every night together."

I looked at her for a moment then said, "You know, it wasn't long ago that you got upset when anyone mentioned marriage. What's changed?"

"I've realized that it's the next step in our relationship, unless we just live together."

"Which do you want to do?"

"Either, but I'd rather be your wife."

I turned to her and kissed her.

After we finished eating we got busy cleaning up the cabin. Luckily we hadn't been messy. As Kate cleaned the kitchen I cleaned the fireplace and restocked the firewood supply on the patio. Then we tackled the bathroom and bedrooms together. The bedroom Kate had used the first night was easy, but the bedroom that we shared took a little more work.

As I was packing Gwen's things I asked Kate, "Honey, why do you have such a strong attraction to Gwen?"

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well, our regular sex life is fantastic but when we start out with me dressed as Gwen it just seems more intense."

Kate got quiet for a minute then said, "I don't know. I just feel a very strong sexual attraction to Gwen."

"It's not like what you had with Tiff, is it?"

She looked at me and I thought she was going to cry. But instead of crying she said, "God no, Lover. I never did feel any love with her. With you, Gary or Gwen, it's deep love. Gwen brings something out in me but I don't know why."

"So there was no love between you and Tiff?"

"Why are you bringing her up? I want to forget her."

"Katie, the more we talk about this, the more I'll understand . . . and the better you may feel about it."

Kate sat down on the bed, and said, "There wasn't ever any real love between Tiff and me. I don't know why I accepted it when she came on to me. I was going to stop after the one time and walk away, but she had a way about her. She became very controlling. It was like she was almost forcing me to do things."

"I just don't understand how she could control you that way. You're a very strong person."

"There was just something about her; I can't explain it. I just want to forget it."

I sat down next to her, put my arm around her, and said, "Katie, I may never understand this but I still love you very much. It's in the past."

She looked at me and said, "Gary, you are so special to me. I figured that I'd lost you forever and didn't have a chance of winning you back. But when you agreed to go away for a weekend, I knew we had a chance. I promise you from the bottom of my heart that I'll never do anything to hurt you, or our relationship, again."

I held her close for a long time then said, "We'd better get moving. We've already missed our Monday classes. If we sit here any longer we'll miss our Tuesday classes, too."

"I could do that so easily. But you're right, we need to get back."

We finished cleaning and I called the security company to tell them that we were leaving. We were back on campus in time for dinner and we picked up our old routine by eating together.

When I found my roommate, Doug, I handed him the key and thanked him for the use of the cabin. He said that his family only uses it in the summer and for holidays so it wasn't a problem. But he was really surprised that Kate and I were really back together. When I told him that love could conquer all, he just shook his head and said, "Yeah, and it's blind."

Wednesday, November 21

It was the beginning of the long Thanksgiving weekend, so there weren't any classes after Noon today. We drove home with Wendy. She dropped us off at my house and my mother met us at the door with big hugs. The same thing happened at Kate's house when I took her home after dinner.

Thursday, November 22

Today was Thanksgiving, and we did something that I figured would probably become an annual occurrence. We ate two big dinners, one at my house, and one at Kate's house. We were both so full that after the dinner at Kate’s we went to the pool house, started a fire, and fell asleep. It was a good hour later that I woke up to find Kate still asleep with her head in my lap. I thought, 'I guess when we settle down that we're going to have to find a home with a fireplace.'

Saturday, November 24

My cell phone ringing, at about ten-thirty in the morning, woke me up. It was Kate's special ring. So I answered it, "Morning, Love."

"Good morning sleepy head."

"I've got to catch up on my sleep when I get a chance. You sure don't give me a chance to sleep much when we're together."

"You know it, Lover. Are you ready for today?"

"Today? What's today?"

"Did you forget? You get your hair done at two."

"At two?"

"Do you want to go as Gary or Gwen?"

"Uh . . . do I have too?"

"Lover, did you forget what we talked about at the cabin?"

"Something about keeping my hair nice?"

"Yeah, and I got you an appointment."

"At a beauty shop?"

"More like a beauty salon. They can do all kinds of things."

"Alright, I'll go to keep you happy."

"Lover, it's not for me. It's for you. You like your hair long and it needs to be kept nice. This is the first step."

"As usual you're right. What do you think, Gwen or me?"

"It depends if you want to see what they do to your hair in a feminine way or a male way."

"I'll still be able to wear it either way?"

"I told them that we need to be able to put it in a feminine style or a masculine style."

"They know about Gwen?"

"Jill, the girl who does my hair, does. I had to tell her so she knew that you normally wear your hair in a man's pony tail."

"And what did she say?"

"That it wasn't a problem. Why don't you come over for lunch, then Gwen can go with me to the salon?"

"I'd do anything for one of your meals."

"Anything?"

"Sure."

Just before two, we were getting out of the car in front of Eddie's Salon de Beauty. I was nervous as I walked in the door with Kate. I was Gwen, dressed in a pair of jeans, my pink sweater, and running shoes.

It appeared that the salon was like old home to Kate. The receptionist knew her by name, as did a couple of the girls who happened to walk up to the front of the shop. Kate told the receptionist, "This is Gwen; she has an appointment with Jill at two."

The receptionist said, "Have a seat, I'll let Jill know that you're here."

I whispered to Kate, "What kinds of things do they do here?"

"Almost everything. Of course hair, but they also do makeup, body waxing, eyebrow waxing, tanning, and stuff like that."

Just then a pretty black girl walked into the reception area, and greeted Kate like a long lost sister. Kate introduced the two of us. Jill looked me over, and said, "We'll get her hair looking really nice. Come on with me."

When we got back to Jill's work station she had me sit in her chair. She wrapped a protective sheet around my neck and took my glasses off. She asked, "What did we have in mind, Gwen?"

I looked at Kate, and Kate said, "I think we need to get rid of the split ends, maybe add some highlights. Then a cute cut that can also be put into a guys pony tail."

"So," Jill said, looking at me, "Kate tells me there's really a guy under there. There's no way someone this cute can be a guy."

Kate said, "We have fun dressing him up as girl and going out as two girl friends."

Jill looked back at me, smiled, and said, "Fun dressing as a girl. Girl, there should be a law."

"A law?" I whispered.

"No guy should be allowed to look as cute as you do as a girl."

Kate laughed and said, "No, I don't want a law to keep her from looking so good. We'd be breaking it all the time."

"And you want her to look cuter than this?" Jill asked.

"The cuter the better."

Jill started looking at my hair and said, "I'll try."

A while later as we were paying the bill, Jill said, "Gwen, the only additional thing that I'd do is wax your eyebrows."

Kate looked at me and said, "Maybe next time."

I looked at Kate with a look that said, 'No way!'

Jill then said, "Don't worry honey, it doesn't hurt that much. Anyway, you come back and see us anytime."

Kate, with a grin, said, "She will."

As we were getting in the car Kate asked, "Want to go somewhere?"

"Why?"

"You look so good that we need to show you off."

"I don't know if I want to be put on display."

"Lover, every time a cute girl goes out she's on display. That's why we always try to look our best."

"Aren't we starting to push the envelope on this a little too far?"

"I don't think so. But if you do, we can go back to doing it when we're alone. I just think it's fun to go out with you."

I sat there and thought for a minute. I asked, "Where do you want to go?"

Kate smiled and said, "How about to Towne Center?"

"Towne Center?" It was a very upscale shopping area, with all high-end shops. In other words, very expensive.

"Sure, they have a lot of shops with cute clothes."

"And high prices."

"We don't have to buy."

Sunday, December 23

Classes for the fall semester had ended two weeks ago. Kate and I had successfully completed our first semester of college. We were back to being a couple and I felt that everything was almost back on track with us.

Tuesday, December 25

I surprised Kate today: I was actually up when she called at ten-thirty. After our usual morning chat I said, "I want to be alone with you for a little while. But it's too cold to do it outside."

"There's the pool house."

"I guess."

"What's wrong?"

"Absolutely nothing."

"When?"

"As soon as I can get there."

Fifteen minutes later Kate was letting me in the front door of her house. After our usual greeting we walked through the house. Her parents were sitting in the kitchen. I said, "Merry Christmas, Mr. and Mrs. Branson."

"Merry Christmas, Gary.", they said in unison.

Kate said, "We're going out to the pool house for a little while."

As we walked into the pool house, I noticed that the fireplace was already lit and the temperature was getting comfortable. Kate said, "I knew it was cold, so after we hung up I came out and started a fire."

I smiled at her and said, "Good thinking, Lover."

We sat on our favorite couch and cuddled for a while. Finally Kate said, "Gary, why did you want to be alone?"

"Are you worried?"

"No, just curious."

I turned, looked at her, and said, "Katie, last fall when I got your letter I took a long walk and ended up at that pond on campus where we'd spent a lot of time."

"Yeah."

"I sat there for a long time reading and rereading your letter, just trying to figure out what had happened. When I was ready to go back to my dorm I took your ring out of my pocket and just looked at it. I was trying to decide if I should throw it in the pond or not."

Kate's face took on a very worried look.

I took her left hand and slipped something on her ring finger. She looked at her hand, then at me. Then she wrapped her arms around me. I held her tight and whispered, "I couldn't throw it away. It would have meant that I was throwing our relationship away. And . . . I never lost hope that you'd come back."

"Gary, I was so worried that you'd never give me another ring. I just want to be with you forever. You are my everything."

"Katie, if I couldn't be with you I wouldn't want to be with anyone. I love you and only you."

Kate sat back so that we could look at each other. She was crying but also smiling. I wiped her tears away. She said, "I never, ever want to be apart again. I love you."

"Katie, I wish we were at the waterfall because I'm going to ask you again: Catharine Marie Branson, will you be my wife?"

Her smile became a grin as she said, "Yes, Gary Kenneth Cutwright, I’ll be your wife. I would marry you in a heartbeat."

Everything was back on track. We shared a very long kiss and then we just sat there holding each other. When we walked back into her house her mother was still in the kitchen. As we walked in her mother looked at Kate and said, "Honey, is everything all right?"

Kate held up her left hand, smiled, and said, "Everything is perfect."

Her mom walked over, gave Kate a big hug, and then gave me one. She said, "Kids, I'm so happy for you. I knew something had happened between you but I wasn't going to pry. I'm just so happy that you're back together."

- End-
Part II - 1