by Monalisa
In the dark of the night, surrounded by the silence of his empty house, he began the preparations to end his sixteen years of suffering. He had chosen to carry out his plans on Halloween night. His mother was away on business until the next day, his sister was out all night with her friends, and Halloween made it possible to implement a critical component of his plans.

---

 
THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH

Bevan Jones could bear his suffering no more. He looked into his bedroom mirror at the miserable, phony, awkward reflection it showed him. He stared at the person who had no close friends and who starved for the love and affection only the right girl could provide him — a girl he knew he would never find. He glared at the falsehood that was his persona. He couldn’t take it anymore. Any of it.

It was time to do something about it — something he had been planning all month — and he had much to do. In the dark of the night, surrounded by the silence of his empty house, he began the preparations to end his sixteen years of suffering.

He had chosen to carry out his plans on Halloween night. His mother was away on business until the next day, his sister was out all night with her friends, and Halloween made it possible to implement a critical component of his plans.

Bevan got out the outfit that he had pieced together from clandestine online shopping and stolen visits to thrift shops. He laid on his bed a black satin bra and matching panties, off-black pantyhose, dark denim skirt, purple sweater and black flats with beautiful embroidery on them. Next to them, he placed the silver butterfly earrings, small silver butterfly pendant, and silver promise ring he had also purchased.

He had spent a chunk of his savings putting the outfit together, but it didn’t matter - not anymore. He was tired of hiding who he was and suffering because of it.

He reminisced on all of the times he saw a beautiful outfit on a beautiful girl and wanted to look like she did. How much he wanted to be that beautiful girl!

The girls at school always managed to look so pretty and Bevan, as always, looked and felt ridiculous. Girls walked into school chatting and social, while Bevan was ever the silent observer as though he were the paint on the walls.

Bevan returned to reality as the jealousy of the past morphed into a dull emptiness. He felt overpowered with the familiar desire to dress like a girl, to be a girl. Just one time, he wanted to be beautiful. He dreamed of feeling right and looking his fabulous best. He longed to be as happy as all those girls seemed to be, but he knew that would never happen.

And that was why he had to do what he had to do.

Bevan’s first step was to transform himself into a girl for the first time. He watched from beside himself as he removed his male clothes, slipped on the lingerie, and kicked his male clothes away behind him. He ran his hands up and down his arms and legs to be sure that he had removed the hair properly and marveled at the smooth feeling. One by one, he slipped on the pieces of his outfit. Before long, he looked almost as though he had been born a girl.

Bevan turned and headed for his sister Bethanie’s room, feeling as though time had slowed. Everything felt so surreal that he wondered if his alarm clock was about to wake him. He moved to Bethanie’s full-length mirror and saw the nerve in his face, as well as the shaking in his hands. His stomach felt as though he were riding a high speed roller coaster.

He touched his shoulder-length hair, suddenly gripped by the desire to fix it up. He had to look his fabulous best for what he had planned! He walked over to his room, grabbed his brush and returned to Bethanie’s room. He brushed out his hair until it shone and fixed it in a neat, girly pony tail high on his head, bringing himself one step closer to completing his look for the evening.

He returned his brush to his room and walked back into Bethanie’s room, headed for the mirror. He studied his reflection and decided that something was missing. At once, he knew what it was. He needed makeup!

He turned around and headed for Bethanie’s dresser, where she kept her makeup. He stood in front of the mirror over the dresser, ready to begin making up his face, when he caught sight of a photo sitting on the dresser.

The photo was of Bevan, Bethanie, and two of their friends, Jenny and Michelle, who were sisters and lived in the area. Bevan picked up the photo and looked at it. The photo was ten years old and was taken on Halloween. Bevan remembered that Halloween well.

It was the night he met Michelle, the same night she had begun asking if she could dress him up as a girl. He refused that night, and he continued to refuse until Michelle gave up her little fetish around the time they started high school.

With a sigh, Bevan put the photo back on the dresser, wondering if Michelle had really given up on seeing him dressed as a girl - or if she had merely given up on asking him.

But he was about to find out.

He had resolved to tell Michelle how he felt about her before executing the last of his plans. Since he would be dressing as a girl — and since he truly loved Michelle - he decided to grant Michelle’s wish and let her see him as a girl.

Bevan began choosing what makeup to wear. He carefully made up his face, glad that he had studied up on how to do it — and that he had steady hands. He made a few mistakes and had to repeat a few steps, but he finished the job to his satisfaction. He put Bethanie’s makeup back the way she had kept it and returned to the full-length mirror. He wasn’t looking at a Hollywood makeover, but he looked and felt pretty.

He had one last touch to complete his appearance. He returned to his room, where he opened his bottom desk drawer and got out the press-on, French manicured nails he’d bought. He pressed them onto his fingernails and filed them as best he could.

Bevan returned to Bethanie’s room and sat down on her bed where he could see his reflection. He absorbed the sensations and examined his feelings as he admired his reflection. Bevan felt right dressed as a woman, just as he had known he would, and yet… it felt so forbidden. Perhaps, more to the point, it was too little, too late.

He looked around Bethanie’s room, admiring the pale lilac walls and the white sheets with pretty embroidery on them. He looked at her posters and her throw rug in the middle of the floor. He absorbed Bethanie’s world and wished with all of his heart that he had been born a girl, just like Bethanie.

But he’d been born a boy.

He could never have what Bethanie had or what Michelle had. He could never be like them. His life would never be normal or even happy. There was a time when he had hope that he could show the world who he really was and be happy, but that time had passed.

He watched his smile fade in the mirror as he remembered the rest of his plans for the night and stood up to bring them about.

He checked his reflection in the mirror one last time and pronounced himself ready for Michelle’s party, but before he left, there was one more thing he had to do. He needed to write a letter to his mother and sister. He walked back to his room, sat down at his desk, took out a piece of his stationery and wrote what he had planned to.

He read through the letter, hoping that it would explain everything to his mother and his sister. He would see that they got it when he completed his plans. For now, he left it on his desk.

He glanced at the clock on his nightstand and saw that he was an hour late for Michelle’s party. It was time to tell the girl he loved how he felt about her — and grant her wish.
 

*          *          *
 
Bevan’s blood pulsed through his veins like water through a fire hose. He could hear it in his ears and feel it in his fingertips as he rang Michelle’s doorbell. The sounds of her party wafted through the windows flanking the front door and it sounded like everyone was having a blast.

The front door whisked open, replaced with Michelle’s pretty smile. She managed to look her fabulous best even in a Halloween costume. She made one fine-looking Hermione — and Bevan was spellbound, as always.

“Um… hi there.” Michelle’s smile faltered as she puzzled over who was standing at her door.

“Hi, Michelle. Sorry I’m so late.”

Michelle’s face lit up as she recognized Bevan.

“Oh my God! Bevan! Look at you! God damn, you look really pretty!” Michelle hugged him and squealed. “I always knew you’d look so pretty as a girl!”

“Thanks, Michelle.”

“You’re welcome.” She smiled warmly at him — and noticed something wrong. Her smile dimmed as her brow furrowed. “Hey, are you okay? You seem like you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders.”

“Oh, I’m okay. Don’t worry. Everything’s under control.” Bevan tried to smile.

“Good. You had me worried for a minute there.” Michelle’s smile returned. “Well, come on in. It’s cold out!”

“Thanks. It is cold!”

Bevan followed Michelle inside and waited for her to close the door.

“God, you look so much better!” Michelle blurted.

Bevan stared at her for a moment, wondering what to make of that remark.

Oh my God, does she know? She can’t know. She can’t possibly. I never told anyone. So…

“What do you mean?” Bevan wondered aloud.

Michelle’s smile deflated.

Oh, Jesus! Way to be subtle, Michelle! Shit, I have to tell her that I know.

“I just meant that, um… you look better than you have.”

I have to find a way to talk to Bevan. Michelle smiled at him knowingly.

“Thanks, I guess.”

They shared a moment of silence despite being steeped in the festive sounds and music of Michelle’s party. Michelle had an idea how to get the ball rolling. She leaned close and spoke in Bevan’s ear.

“So, what brought you to dress up as a girl tonight? Anything you want to talk about?”

“Well, um… I kind of… came here to tell you about that. Could we talk privately for a minute?”

I thought so.

Michelle’s smile was replaced by a knowing look of concern — knowing that Bevan was about to come out to her — and that something was very wrong.

“Yeah, of course. Let’s get us a couple of drinks and we’ll head up to my room.” This is good. We really do need to talk.

“Okay. Sounds good.”

Bevan followed Michelle to the punchbowl in the dining room, where Michelle filled a couple of plastic cups and handed one to Bevan. They turned to head for Michelle’s room but their egress from the dining room was blocked by a couple of guys.

“Well, hello there. I don’t think we’ve met.” One of them looked Bevan up and down as he spoke.

I don’t think I like you, Bevan decided. Either of you. Thank God you don’t recognize me.

“Why don’t you introduce your friend here, Michelle?”

“Hi guys.” Michelle flashed an insincere smile. “This is-”

“Emma. Emma Jones.” Bevan helped her out.

“I’m Brad.”

“I’m Mitch.”

“So you’re a Jones? Any relation to Bevan and Bethanie Jones?”

“Yeah, they’re my cousins. Anyway, um-” Emma glanced over at Michelle.

“Emma and I were just about to have some private girl talk, okay? Maybe we’ll chat later.”

“Oh, okay. Sure.”

“Oh shit!” Mitch dropped his cup of punch on the hardwood floor.

“Oh, you guys! We just had this floor redone! You have to be more careful than that!”

Michelle put down her drink on the dining room table and began cleaning up the mess with a few of the paper napkins from the table. Emma put down her glass and joined Michelle. Soon, Michelle and Emma stood up and faced the boys.

“Now, please do me a favor and throw these out.” Michelle and Emma handed Mitch the napkins they had used to clean up after them. “If my dad asks, I’m in my room talking to Emma, okay?”

“Okay. See you later!”

Michelle and Emma grabbed their cups of punch and headed for Michelle’s room. On the way out of the dining room, Emma saw Brad and Mitch exchange knowing glances and wondered what that was about.
 

*          *          *
 
They closed Michelle’s bedroom door and sat on her bed, the music from downstairs throbbing its way through the floor. Michelle’s cat emerged from under her bed, where he took refuge from parties, and plunked himself down on the foot of Michelle’s bed.

“Hi, Eddy!” Michelle cooed.

“Hey, Eddy!” Emma looked on with a smile.

Eddy ignored Emma and Michelle while he licked his fur clean.

“I guess Eddy’s too busy for loving.”

“Yeah.”

Emma drank her punch fairly rapidly because she was nervous and thirsty. Michelle, on the other hand, left her cup on her dresser untouched. She was more concerned with Emma than her punch.

“Sorry about those two guys downstairs. The problem with a neighborhood Halloween party is that it involves the neighbors.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. It’s okay.”

“Good. Bevan, are you sure you’re okay? You look really depressed.”

“Yeah, well… not for long.” Emma murmured.

Whoa. Should I be worried? Michelle fretted.

“What’s bothering you?” She put a gentle hand on Emma’s shoulder. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Yeah, of course. I just, um… I have something that I want to tell you.”

“Okay. I’m listening.”

Emma’s mouth went dry as she turned to Michelle.

“Michelle, I…” Bevan stared helplessly into her eyes as his mouth hung open but nothing came out. “I, um…” I can’t bring myself to tell you that I love you. Damn it. Maybe I’ll come out first and try again afterwards. “I’m not wearing a costume tonight. This,” Emma gestured at her clothes, “is not a costume… not for a girl… and I am a girl, Michelle. This is how I should be. This is who I really am.”

Michelle silently looked at Emma for a moment, a smile spreading across her face.

“Oh, Bevan, I-”

“Please call me Emma. Okay?”

“Yeah, of course. I’m sorry!” Michelle put one hand up against her lips. “E-Emma, I know this may be hard to believe, but… I have always known that you’re a girl. I knew it the minute I met you.”

“You did?” Emma stared at her in shock.

“Yes, I did. That was why I always wanted to dress you up as a girl. I knew you’d be happier that way.”

“But… but how could you possibly know?” Emma was still shocked.

“When we first met, I thought you were a girl. Then your mother started using male pronouns and I understood that you were supposed to be a boy, except… you felt like a girl to me. At the time I didn’t understand that, but I do now. I know that inside that body you really are a girl. That’s why I said you look much better when I saw you at my door dressed as a girl and looking so pretty. You do look much better because you’re being yourself for the first time — unless you’ve been dressing as a girl in private, of course.”

“No, this is my first time.”

Emma smiled at Michelle cautiously, a tear sliding down Emma’s cheek. Michelle hugged Emma warmly, perhaps a tad more warmly than she had before.

Emma could have sworn that hug felt different, but she wasn’t sure. She felt drowsy and that could only muddle her thought process. In her current state of mind, she didn’t trust herself to make the call.

“Emma, when did you figure it out?”

“Well… on some level, I’ve always known that something was wrong, but I didn't really understand things until the last couple of years.”

“Aw, you poor girl. That must have been hard. Have you been struggling all alone? Does your family know?”

“No, they don’t. You’re the first person I’ve told.”

“Really? I am?”

“Yes, you are. I wanted you to hear it from me, not from some rumor.” Emma smiled nervously at her.

“Well, I’m very honored to be the first.” Michelle smiled warmly back at Emma. She seemed thrilled to be the first person Emma had told, but Emma cautioned herself not to try to figure these things out while drowsy. Why the hell am I so drowsy, anyway? Gawd, I didn’t realize I was so tired! I guess it’s my nerves draining me.

“I’m really glad you took the news so well. I’ve been scared to tell anyone. I’m still scared about telling my family. I don’t know how they’ll take it.”

“I’m sure they’ll be okay with it. They love you no matter what. They’re your family.” Michelle gave Emma another smile and a gentle rub on her back.

“Yeah, I guess.” Tears ran down Emma’s cheeks.

“Here, let me get you some tissues. I need to pee, too, but I’m coming straight back, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks, Michelle.”

“You’re welcome.” Michelle gave her another hug, stepped out of her bedroom, and turned left toward the bathroom.

Meanwhile, Emma’s drowsiness intensified dramatically and suddenly she knew that she was not merely tired. Something was seriously wrong.

God, I feel like I’ve been drugged!

She tried to think how anyone could have slipped her a knockout drug and she remembered Mitch dropping his cup of punch downstairs.

Oh my God!! The son of a bitch dropped it on purpose!! I have been drugged!! They must have done it while Michelle and I cleaned up after Mitch!! Oh my God, we told them we would be alone up here!! Oh, this is bad!! This is very, very bad!!

Emma felt icy, merciless fear materialize within her as she looked up at Michelle’s drink on the dresser.

Oh shit! What if they drugged Michelle’s drink, too? Shit!! I have to tell her!!

“Michelle??” Emma called out towards the door, hoping Michelle would hear her over the music.

“Michelle!!”

“Emma, is that you? I’m almost done, sweetie!”

“Don’t drink your punch!!”

“I can’t hear you, sweetie, but I’m almost done, okay?”

“Shit!” Emma muttered.

I’m going to pass out! I have to fight it! I have to warn her about her drink! Shit! What am I going to do? Shit! Quick! Think!

Eddy sniffed the air for a moment and hopped down to the floor. He jumped up onto the dresser and started sniffing at Michelle’s punch.

“No, Eddy! Don’t drink that!”

Emma hauled herself to her feet and staggered to the dresser, her head beginning to spin markedly.

Oh, boy, it’s a damn good thing I’m not wearing heels.

She held onto the dresser to steady herself and grabbed Michelle’s drink away from Eddy. Eddy meowed at Emma, crying for a little sip.

“Sorry, sweetie, but this one’s lethal. Go on, get down!”

Emma turned her back to the dresser and leaned on it as she stared at Michelle’s drink, holding it away from Eddy and figuring out how to warn Michelle not to drink it.

Oh Christ! What do I do? If she drinks it, they’ll rape us both! Suddenly, it dawned on Emma what might happen when they discovered Emma’s male equipment. Oh, my God! They might even kill me when they find out about me! I have to stop this! I have to warn Michelle! Otherwise, neither of us has a chance! Maybe I can make it to the bathroom…

She stood up straight to find the spinning sensation significantly worse.

Whoa!!

She sat back against the dresser to keep from falling over.

Not a chance! I’m not going to make it. Shit! I’ll try to warn her one more time.

Emma’s eyelids felt heavy and she fought to keep them open. Eddy continued his mewing from the dresser, still intrigued by the contents of the cup Emma held away from her.

One more time. Here we go. Emma took a great big breath.

“Michelle!! Don’t drink your punch!!”

“What?”

“The punch!! They drugged the punch!!” Fucking music!

“Emma, I can’t hear you! I’ll be right there! Hang on!”

Emma heard the toilet flush.

I’m going to pass out. I can’t fight it.

Emma thought about pouring Michelle’s drink into a plant — only there were no plants in Michelle’s room. She knew she could toss it out the window, but she was too unsteady to make it to the window without spilling the drink — and if she spilled the drink Eddy would lap up the mess.

No, we can’t do that. Emma thought for a moment. Shit, there’s only one other way! Oh, Jesus, this is a terrible idea… it’s probably going to kill me, but…

She brought Michelle’s drink to her lips and downed it, making sure she got every last drop so the cat couldn’t. She tried to put the cup back on the dresser, but she dropped it and it landed on the floor.

…killing myself was the plan, anyway, wasn’t it? That was why I wrote that suicide letter on my desk. I’m so sorry, Michelle. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I have to tell you… oh shit! I didn’t tell you! I have to tell you I love you… I have to explain…

Emma turned around and started toward Michelle’s desk, the room spinning wildly as she stumbled. She had to leave Michelle a note telling her she loved her and explaining about the suicide letter.

I can’t fight it… can’t fight it…

Emma made it to the center of the room before her drooping eyes closed and she collapsed. She was out before she hit the floor.

Michelle had just stepped out of the loo when she heard a faint thud.

“Emma?” Michelle called out, becoming alarmed when Emma failed to answer.

“Emma??” Michelle ran for her room, dashed inside and found Emma sprawled on the floor.

“Emma!! Oh my God!! What the hell happened??”

Michelle ran to her and checked her pulse and breathing.

“You’re alive! Thank God! Hang on, Emma, I’m going to call an ambulance!”

Michelle looked around for her cordless landline phone and noticed her cup of punch was now empty and on the floor. Suddenly, she had a flashback of Mitch dropping his cup of punch in the dining room. She remembered leaving her drink on the dining room table while she and Emma wiped up Mitch’s punch. She looked at Emma, passed out on her bedroom floor.

Oh my God!! They spiked her drink!! Emma’s drink was on the table next to mine while we cleaned up!! Maybe they spiked my drink, too!! No wonder Emma was calling out for me!! She was trying to warn me!! Wait, my cup is empty!!

“Oh my God!! You drank mine, too?? Jesus Christ!! Oh, Emma, please don’t die!!”

Michelle’s eyes watered as she grabbed her landline to call 911 but stopped when she heard Brad and Mitch calling to her.

“Michelle, are you up here?”

“Everything okay?”

Brad and Mitch were coming up the stairs. Shit!

“Dad!!” Good luck he’ll hear me from downstairs with that music going! Damn it!

Michelle froze. Brad and Mitch were almost at the top of the stairs. She sprang to her feet and ran to her bedroom door.

“Daddy!!!!” She screamed.

She grabbed the chair next to her door and used it to barricade the door shut. Then she looked around for her cellphone and called her friend Deborah downstairs.

“Michelle! Where’d you go, babe? The party is young!”

“I’m in my room. Listen, Brad and Mitch spiked our drinks and they’re coming up here after us! I need you to get my Dad up here like now!”

“Oh my God! I-I’ll get him! I’ll get him right now! Stay on the line!”

“Okay, I will, just go!!”

Someone rattled the doorknob.

“Michelle, it’s Brad. Are you okay? Open the door!”

“Fuck off, Brad! Debby, hurry! They’re right outside my door and Emma’s passed out and I’m alone up here! They’re going to rape us!” Michelle was losing her composure.

“I’m getting him, Michelle! Wa- th– h– s!”

“What? Debby, I can’t hear you! Debby?”

“Michelle, it’s Mitch. Open the door. We’re only trying to help you.”

“Bullshit!! You spiked our drinks!! Debby?? Debby!!”

The cellular network had dropped the call.

“Shit!!”

Michelle heard them spring the lock in the knob and she watched with horror as Brad turned the knob back and forth. She heard the sound of a car pulling up to her house and stopping. Michelle glanced out her open window and spotted an SUV idling outside. She began trembling as Brad and Mitch’s intentions crystallized in her mind.

Oh my God!! If they get in here they’re going to sneak us out of the house and drive away!!

“Come on, Michelle, open the door!”

“Fuck off!!” Michelle was terrified. Shit! Shit! Shit!

Michelle realized she was still holding her landline and dialed 911.

“911. What is your emergency?”

“We’re under attack!! We need the police!! Please hurry!!”

Michelle heard what sounded like two people running downstairs.

“Okay, who is attacking you?”

“The assholes who drugged our drinks!!”

“Somebody drugged your drinks?”

“Yes, they drugged my drink and my friend’s drink and she drank both drinks and she’s passed out and they’re trying to get into the room!! Somebody just pulled up to the house near the back door and they’re waiting outside. Now please get someone over here before they break in here and take us!!”

“All right, Ma’am, I’m sending units now. They’re on the way.”

The operator verified Michelle’s address and they hung up. Michelle heard several people racing up the stairs.

“Michelle?? Michelle, it’s Dad!! Are you okay?? What’s going on??”

Michelle heard car doors slamming and the idling SUV took off at high speed — but she couldn’t see if Brad and Mitch were in the SUV.

“Daddy!! Get those boys away from my door!! They drugged our drinks!!”
“What?? Who??” He fumed.

“Brad and Mitch!! Get them away!! I’m not opening the door until they are gone!! Get them out of here!!”

“Honey, they must have gone downstairs. It’s just me out here and a few of the girls. Open the door, Honey!”

Michelle grabbed her cellphone and called Debby again.

“Michelle, thank God! I lost reception-”

“Where are Brad and Mitch??”

“Michelle, Honey, open the door!” Michelle’s father rattled the knob.

“They just left. They took off out the back door and got into some SUV.”

“Are you absolutely sure??”

“Michelle? Michelle, open up, honey!” Her father pounded.

“Yes, I’m sure! They’re gone!”

“Okay thanks!” Michelle snapped her cellphone shut.

“Michelle! Open the door! Right now!”

“I’m coming, Dad!”

Michelle ran over and put the chair back in its place. She opened the door and found her father standing there with several of her on-looking friends. She grabbed her father, and dragged him over to Emma.

“Daddy, they drugged our drinks. Emma drank hers first and she drank mine while I was in the bathroom. I think she was trying to warn me but I couldn’t hear her from the bathroom!” Michelle sobbed.

“Jesus, if they drugged both drinks then she got a double dose!”

He took Emma’s pulse and listened for her breathing.

“Oh, Jesus. Her breathing and pulse are very weak. Did you call 911?”

“Yes, I already called while Brad and Mitch were trying to get into my room.”

“Good, then they’ll be here soon. How long ago did she drink your drink?”

“Maybe two minutes ago.”

“Okay, good. Maybe they can get some of it out of her system in time.”

“God, I hope so.”

Bevan’s cellphone rang and Michelle grabbed it to see if it was Bethanie.

“Bethanie? Is that you?”

“Michelle! Where’s Bevan?” Bethanie sounded frantic and Michelle started to cry.

“He’s here with me.”

“Why are you crying?? Did something happen??”

“Bethanie, you need to come over here to my house. Just come over, okay?”

“What happened to my brother, Michelle?” Bethanie demanded.

“Will you please just come over here?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m on my way!”

“Good. See you soon.”

Michelle ended the call and wiped her tears.

For a couple of minutes, nobody spoke. Everyone in the room looked silently at Emma, occasionally glancing out the window for any sign of help arriving.

Soon, they heard someone running up the stairs and Jenny came running into the room with Bethanie
right behind her. Bethanie pushed her way front and center.

“Oh my God!! What happened to Bevan??” She shrieked as she knelt down to her side.

“Bevan? This is Bevan??” Michelle’s father asked.

“Wait a minute, wait a minute, one at a time!” Michelle shouted.

“Dad, yes that’s really Bevan. He, um…” Michelle realized that Bethanie didn’t know about Emma yet — and she couldn’t very well out Emma to the entire crowd. “…um, h-he was using the name Emma as part of his costume.” Sorry, Em! I know it’s not a costume. “I-I’m dressed as Hermione and… um… h-he thought it would be funny to call himself Emma, after Emma Watson, the girl who played Hermione.”

Bethanie put a gentle hand on Michelle’s shoulder.

“Let’s talk about his… costume later. Just tell me what happened!” Bethanie needed to know.

“Brad and Mitch spiked our drinks. She drank hers first and…” Michelle shrugged as she tried to figure things out. “…she must have started feeling drowsy and figured that they spiked mine too. I know that she drank my drink while I was in the bathroom because I found the empty cup on the floor. I heard her calling out to me and on my way back here I heard her collapse.”

“Oh, my God!! She got two doses??”

“Yeah, probably.”

“Did they… did they… try to…”

“Assault her? No, I made sure they never got a chance. But I’m sure they were going to do us both. They knew we’d be up here alone and everything.”

Michelle was feeling badly shaken and it showed. Jenny wrapped her arms around her little sister and held her.

“Are these two cups the ones she drank out of?” Michelle’s father held up the two tainted cups.

“Yeah, Dad. Those are the ones.”

“Okay. Nobody touch them! Maybe they can use them to figure out what drugs those punks used.”

“Maybe.”

The sound of sirens filled the air. Michelle looked out the window and spotted two police cars and an ambulance headed her way. Help was almost there.

“Beth, call your parents. I’ll wait at the door. You three stay here with her. She might throw up or the guys who did this might come back and try to take her. Do not leave her alone for any reason, understood?”

“Yeah. Of course!”

Michelle’s father ran downstairs. After he left, Michelle took Emma’s hand in hers.

“Hang on, sweetie. Please hang on for me.”

Seconds later, the house was full of police officers and paramedics. The police gathered the two cups Emma had drunk from and the paramedics gathered up Emma. They placed her on a stretcher and wheeled her into the back of the ambulance. Bethanie climbed in with her but Michelle was not allowed to ride in the ambulance. The vehicle’s lights and sirens came to life and the ambulance was off.

Michelle stood in her driveway, watching the ambulance drive away, with her arms tightly crossed, her hands rubbing her shoulders, and tears sliding down her cheeks.

Jenny wrapped a coat around her sister and held up her car keys.

“Come on. Let’s go.”
 

*          *          *
 
Michelle stared out the window, worrying about Emma and desperate to find out how she was doing. Jenny glanced over at her a few times, ostensibly to check on her, but she had something on her mind.

“Michelle, um…” Jenny glanced at her while she gathered her thoughts. “Bethanie didn’t get a chance to tell you why she called Emma’s phone.”

“No, I guess not, huh?” Michelle continued staring out the window, wiping another tear, not noticing Jenny’s use of the feminine name.

Jenny paused to maneuver the car safely around a bend in the road before continuing.

“Yeah, well… she found a suicide note on Emma’s desk.”

Michelle whipped her head around to stare at Jenny in shock.

“What?? A suicide note??” Michelle abruptly sat up in her seat.

“Yeah. We were going to have a sleepover at Beth’s house and she went looking for Emma to make sure she’d gone to your party. When she looked in Emma’s room, she found the note-”

“She was going to kill herself??”

“It looks that way-”

“Why?? Why was she going to kill herself??”

“Well, um…” Jenny didn’t know if Emma had come out to Michelle.

“Wait, did she… reveal her secret… in the letter?” Michelle wondered aloud.

Jenny smiled at her.

“I see that she came out to you. Yes, she did. She explained that she’s transsexual. She couldn’t deal with living a lie any longer and she believes that she can never be happy in life.” Jenny glanced at Michelle. “She has been terribly lonely, too. She hasn’t had many friends and she’d never had a girlfriend.”

“She was so lonely she wanted to kill herself? The poor girl!”

“Michelle, there’s… there’s more. I, um… I read the letter while Beth was on the phone to you and…” Jenny took a breath. “Emma mentioned you in the letter.”

“She did?” Michelle was riveted to Jenny’s words, her hands wringing each other. “W-what did she say?”

“Said that, um… she said that she has always loved you but that it doesn’t matter because she’s a girl. She thought you could never want her. She obviously doesn’t know how you feel about her.”

Michelle’s tears flowed as a sense of guilt grew within her.

“Oh, I should have told her. I should have told her! She wouldn’t have been so lonely-”

“Hey! None of this is your fault, all right?”

“Oh, I know, I-I’m not saying it is. I’m just saying that it could have eased her pain if only she’d known.”

“But you didn’t know she was in that kind of pain.”

“I know, I had no idea, but the fact remains that it would have helped her to know!” Michelle trailed off. “I didn’t know she was interested in me. Sometimes she’d look at me that way, you know?” Michelle smiled sadly at Jenny, who nodded knowingly. “But she never asked me out and a couple of times I tried getting closer, like… one time while we were at her house, I sat so close to her that we were touching and she seemed to shy away from that. She moved away a little. Another time, while we were walking home from school, I took her hand. She held it for several seconds and even squeezed it but then she let go. Things like that.”

“I’m sure it was only because she knew she’s a girl and was afraid to tell you all this time.”

“Yeah, maybe. I can’t believe she was going to kill herself.”

“Me, either.”

“You know, I hate to say it, but… it is pretty ironic…” Michelle hesitated.

“What is?” Jenny prompted her.

“Having her drink drugged might have saved her life. If not for that, she probably would have left the party and gone home and killed herself.”

“Yeah, you might be right. Assuming she survives, of course.”

“Oh, God!” Michelle croaked, wiping fresh tears as they pulled up to the hospital.
 

*          *          *
 
Jenny and Michelle strode into the ER and asked about Emma. They were told someone would be with them shortly. Soon, a nurse came out through a set of double doors and headed their way. Michelle begged for news and the nurse started talking.

“Bevan is in the intensive care unit. The drug he was given put him in a coma. It will probably take a good eight hours for him to wake up - possibly more — but he is stable. We’re just waiting for the drug to wear off. He is going to be okay. You should go home and get some rest and come back in the morning.”

That answered Michelle’s most pressing question, but she had another one that she just had to ask.

“H-how much of the drug did Em- Bevan ingest? Was it enough to drug two people? I-I’m just trying to figure out if I was an intended victim. Sh-h-he drank my cup of punch, too, and I wondered…” Michelle trailed off.

The nurse looked at the information she had available.

“Well, given his weakened vital signs, he probably received a good deal more than necessary to drug one person. In most cases of a date rape, the patient is put into a deep sleep-like state, but breathing and heart rate remain relatively stable. But sometimes, the victim gets more of the drug than intended and something like this results — or worse. Bevan’s very lucky. When he arrived here, the second dose hadn’t kicked in yet and his vitals were already affected. Left unattended, he might well have died. Now, we don’t yet know which drug they gave Bevan — not with certainty - but the symptoms and the information point to GHB. That drug is known for inconsistencies due to the way it’s produced — it’s illegal to produce it in this country, so it’s produced on the black market, hence the shoddy production methods. To answer your question, though, the dose required to produce rapid unconsciousness does not normally weaken the vital signs so significantly and so Bevan probably did get a double dose.”

My God, I almost lost her forever! Michelle brooded.

“Okay. Thank you.” Jenny spoke for Michelle, who stared at the nurse, speechless.

“You’re welcome. Do you have any other questions?”

“No. thank you.” Michelle murmured.

“Well, come on, Michelle. Let’s come back in eight hours. We both need the rest.”
 

*          *          *
 
Bevan woke up in the hospital twelve hours after he was admitted and found Bethanie and her mother looking at her. She had a terrible headache and couldn’t remember much of the previous night.

“Bevan? Are you awake?” Her mother asked her anxiously.

“Yeah. I’m awake. What happened?”

“Somebody slipped you a date rape drug.” Bevan’s mother took her hand and rubbed it. “Do you remember anything about last night?”

“I remember walking over there… and I remember Mitch spilling his punch… and then we were in Michelle’s room. I know I drank my punch pretty quickly and I remember Michelle’s punch sitting on her dresser untouched. That’s all I remember.”

“Bethanie said you looked beautiful last night.”

“You really did, sis.” Bethanie smiled.

Sis? Oh God, I guess they saw the letter! Wait a minute! She called me sis — and she actually smiled doing it!

A tear slid from Bevan’s eye and her mother gently dried it.

“We read your letter, sis. It was, um… pretty heavy reading.” Bethanie chuckled nervously. “But we still love you, you know. I have to tell you, sis, I am really glad to have a little sister.”

“And I am very happy to have two daughters. Yes, it will take some getting used to — and we’ll talk more about this later - but I just want you to know that I accept you unreservedly, Honey, okay?”

“Me, too, sis!”

“Thanks, you two. I thought…” Bevan choked up as he began to cry.

“You thought we wouldn’t accept you?” Bethanie hazarded a guess.

Bevan slowly nodded.

“Stupid!” Bethanie chided her new little sister.

“Bethanie! Please!” Their mother refereed. “Of course we accept you! You are my child, my daughter!”

Bevan's mother gently scolded.

“And my sister!” Bethanie beamed.

Bevan just smiled.

“Anyway, as I said, let’s talk about this later. There's only one thing we need to know for now.”

“Okay, Mom.” Bevan looked expectantly at her mother.

“Do you want us to call you Emma or is there another name you’d prefer?”

Bevan’s smile broadened.

“Please call me Emma.”

“Okay, Emma.”

A knock issued from the door and it slowly opened. Jenny and Michelle walked in.

“Hi, you two!” Emma smiled.

“Hi, Emma!” Michelle smiled at her. “It’s so good to see you awake and smiling!” Michelle croaked as she choked up. “You have no idea!”

“I’m glad I’m still here.” Emma smiled up at Michelle. “I never really wanted to die. I just couldn't take it anymore.”

Michelle smiled at Emma.

“I know, Emma. I don’t want you to die, either. It would kill me if you did, you know.”

Michelle sat down on Emma’s bed and took her hand. Emma smiled brightly at her.

“Thanks for coming to see me,” she beamed at Michelle.

“Of course I’d come. There’s nowhere else I’d be.”

Michelle looked up at Bethanie and her mother.

“Could I have a moment alone with Emma? I, um…” Michelle looked back at Emma. “I kind of… have something I need to tell her.”

“All right. Why don’t you and I have some lunch, Beth?”

“Sounds good about now!” Beth smiled at her mother.

“Mind if I join you?” Jenny inquired.

“Please do,” Emma’s mother smiled at them.

They left the room and Emma was alone with Michelle. Michelle smiled down at Emma as she spoke.

“Emma, I… I should have told you this a long time ago, but… I have always…” She paused.

“Known I’m a girl? Yeah, I know, you told me.”

Michelle chuckled nervously.

“Um, y-yeah, that’s not what I mean.”

“Oh, okay.” Emma squeezed Michelle’s hand — and held on to it, making Michelle smile.

“Emma, I… I really do love you. I’ve always loved you. You were always… so… special. So different. So unlike anyone else. I’ve always wanted to… be with you.” Michelle blushed.

“Y-you have?” Emma’s waterworks jump started and she began wiping her tears.

“Yes, I have.”

“Michelle, I love you, too. Ever since we met, I’ve always known I wanted you, but I always thought…” Emma sighed, tears leaking from her face. “…oh, boy, I have gotten a lot of things really wrong in my life.”

“That’s okay. We all get things wrong sometimes. The important thing is that you’re still here.”

“Yeah.” Emma squeezed Michelle’s hand again — and still held on to it. “I’m really glad I’m still here. It upsets me to think that… I could have missed out on this, Michelle. I could have missed out on us.”

“Yeah.” Michelle nodded. “But you don’t have to worry about that now.”

“I sure don’t!” Emma beamed at her.

“Emma, promise me something?”

“Okay.”

“Promise me that if you ever feel this depressed again you’ll talk to me, okay? Just please pick up the phone and call me, okay?”

“I give you my word.”

“Good.”

Michelle leaned down and kissed Emma passionately. When she was done, she eased herself onto the bed next to Emma, wrapped her arms around her and held her for a while. For the first time in her life, Emma truly believed that she could be happy.

---

 

 

[ Other Stories By Mona Lisa ]