I wonder whether there are any peeps out there who have published through Amazon's Kindle facility only to discover that because they are British citizens, they have become subject to a 30% withholding of royalties because of American tax laws - the bastards!

Yes you can be reimbursed, but not before you jump through hoops and pay some exorbitant amount to legal notaries in order to prove that you're not some tax-dodging Yank out to save the few measly bucks you've made from selling your e-book on-line.

Okay so we're off on Sunday for a week in France at our house.

Please try and be good boys and girls while I'm gone.

No flame wars and no pissing Erin off or I'll be sorely vexed.

I don't just look it, I can get mightily mean when I have to. I just can't run too fast in these heels.

PS

Where did my buttons go?

I had some, but now I have hardly any. If you see any floating about looking lost, please send them back - I didn't have that many to begin with.

Some of the time I can be prone to acts of sheer brilliance. Most of the time I prove myself to be adequate and the rest of the time I fuck up.

I have royally cocked up this time and I hope you will forgive me for having done so.

Now there are heaps of you you out there that love serials. Ang's Bike serial is getting to be more like The Archers than simply a long story and I'm sure there are others too.

Is what it says on the "My Account" section.

Sounds almost like saying four minutes and sixty seconds, doesn't it?

So anyway, it means I have been here at this site for five years.

Bloody Hell!

I don't think I've been a member of anything for that long and I owe it all to you lot.

Erin has to sit at the top of my thanks though, for if she did not have the tenacity and strength to keep this place alive, I certainly wouldn't have been here for that long and neither would any of the rest of you.

I'm less than a week from having been a member of this fine site for five years - can you believe it?

I just wanted to say thanks to Erin and her fine band of pixies that do their doin's keeping the place together. Also, thanks to all the kind people I have met, who take the time and trouble to read my gobbledegook, perhaps even clicking the Kudos button, dropping me a comment or both.

Here's to another five :)

Nick

I just wanted to say thanks to all those who have dipped into their pockets and bought A Witch in Time from Amazon.

Whilst copies are not exactly flying off the virtual shelves, the response has been much better than I thought it would have been - like, it's selling - and I have you wonderful people here to thank for that.

Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to France we go.

Sadly, it's not permanent yet, but we're not ruling that out for March of next year - maybe sooner if we can. Still we ARE going to do it, never mind how long it takes.

This time, we have the last bits of the flat's decorating and stuff to do so that we can hand the keys over to the letting agent for letting on our behalf. That way, hopefully, it will look after the cost of running the house.

The latest bit of scrawl from Nick B will hit the screens hopefully in the next few hours (after the German Grand Prix and Pen's haircut probably) and I would like to take this opportunity to apologise for the fact that it's unedited, unproofed and largely wysiwyg.

We're off to France on Tuesday and didn't have time to send it to anyone - not that I was able to find someone to take up the mantle of my editor after Gabi's sad passing.

Anyhow, I hope you enjoy it and please feel free to leave and comments (providing they're not completely horrible) and kudos if possible.

Sadly this isn't the title of a new Nick B story, though I'm not entirely sure it won't be.

No, this is a lesson well learnt in France on our recent visit, but since I've only just got back and have suffered toothache for the last three days, I'll have to put off telling you all about it until tomorrow or possibly Wednesday providing my dentist doesn't screw things up again...

No this isn't something about Craig David, but that's how long we have to wait before the house finally becomes ours, lock, stock and two smokin' barrels.

Actually, it's only six now.

Yeah I had a car accident and yeah I lost my job, but we have just found out that aside from paying for it, we now as good as own our French property.

I'm totally stoked and so is Pen.

It's scary shit, but so exciting I can't find the words - whaddya mean, that's a first?

So now I just need to get this insurance thing sorted to call this somewhat stressful part of our lives over.

Well, talk about a change of fortunes.

Not only have I got my job - which I will be starting tomorrow (phew!), but we also have eight houses to look at when we go to France next month over the Easter break.

But it doesn't end there, oh no.

My humble apologies to my several fans, but Second Sight's Chapter Four will be delayed due to having to attend a job interview tomorrow.

Please bear with me as I'm almost done and will try and get it out as soon as possible.

Yours regretfully,

Nick B

I don't just look it, I'm totally in need of a job right now...

I'm probably well behind here and have missed something important, like the announcement that Kudos being interrupted for a while, which would explain where mine's gone. I've checked all the blogs back to before the New Year and haven't found anything. Have I not gone back far enough?

I just looked one day and there it wasn't.

Now compared to someone like Ang, whose Kudos looked like a phone number, mine just looked like loose change, but now I don't even have a zero.

Is it trying to tell me that I need to write something new?

I think that now makes me an old git. if not an old git, then a grumpy old bastard :)

I never thought I'd get this far and if I hadn't stopped riding bikes and driving cars like a complete maniac, I probably wouldn't have.

That means that by rights, I should now live forever...

God help you all.

Nick